9 Month Old Still "Crying It Out"

Is it too hot or cold, or too bright or too dark, or too quiet or too loud? (I've got a very picky son about such things!!) We have a very predictable bedtime routine, so we never catch him off-guard. I think that helps. We also play a CD when we put him down of music he likes. Is she tired when you put her down? Bedtime might just be too early for her. You don't want her overly tired, but if she's wide awake, it'll be harder to go to sleep. Good luck!

I think your daughter is not tired enough when you put her to bed. If she go right to sleep at nap time, but not bed time then maybe she is tired enough to sleep at nap time but not bed time. Maybe try to keep her up a litle later and see if that makes a difference. If not then just stick with the cry it out. it will work eventually.

Have you tried reading a story and/or some nature sounds...ocean waves, breezes, etc. that are soothing? You should't have any problems finding CDs like this.

have you tried shortening nap time at all so see if that would help?

I could have written your post word for word except our son is 3 and she likes being picked up and snuggled. Is she hungry? We had our daughter on 3 bottles and realized that she was getting hungry again and have started giving her another smaller bottle about an hour before bedtime and more nights than not she goes to sleep pretty easy. We do have our nights where she screams until she chokes but they are getting fewer. In our case I know she's tired because if I go in and get her (after tons of crying)she snuggles right into my shoulder rubbing her eyes and settles right now, she might even fall asleep but cried again as soon as she's layed down. I've tried the standing near her crib and moving away slowly every 5 minutes and she does fine until she sees me near the door. I guess I don't have much advise, just wanted to tell you you're not alone and its incredibly frustrating but its just a phase that hopefully they will pass soon! Oh and as for sleep patter, we do the 2-3-4 method: 2 hours after she wakes up she gets her morning nap, 3 hours after waking up she gets her afternoon nap and 4 hours after that its bedtime.

I have no idea what to tell ya except to let her cry it out and to tell you that you shouldn't make the kids share a room when they are of the opposite sex. I am pretty sure that is illegal where I live.

How long is she napping? Maybe a shorter nap may be in order or she might need a later bed time than the 2 year old. Keep her up until the 2 year old is fast asleep. Does she have a predictable routine before bed? Turn off the TV at night so she crawls around and gets some physical activity. If she gets all her energy out before bed I think she'll sleep better.

I have never been a fan of "crying it out". We couldn't do that with our oldest because she'd cry so hard she'd throw up.

Like someone else suggested, if she's taking naps fine, but doesn't want to go down at night, then she isn't tired enough. SO that'd be the first suggestion - let the 2 year old go to sleep, and let the 9 month old stay up a little later.

Second suggestion would be that usually, they're crying because of anxiety over being left in the crib, and the parent walking away. I'm not sure how well this would work with you because your two youngest share their bedroom...but put her in her crib, and sit on the floor nearby looking at the floor (don't make eye contact and don't give in to her crying). Soon enough she'll fall asleep. Then after a few nights move closer and closer towards the door, and soon enough she'll be able to fall asleep on her own.

We have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. We don't put them to bed at the same time because of the type of trouble you're having. We have established bedtime routines for each - I take care of the 6 year old, and my husband takes care of the 3 year old. We put the 6 year old to bed first (unless the 3 year old falls asleep sooner than that, and she gets put in bed first then). When the 3 year old falls asleep, she goes into the bedroom. If the 3 year old falls asleep first, we just make sure to be quiet when we go in there.

For what it's worth - and good luck!

You have gotten great advice and i hope all works out for you and you babies. I just have to laugh that someone thinks it is illegal for babies of the opposite sex to share a room. You are doing fine with you have I am sure! Good luck to you.

If it's been three months and she's still crying for that long, it's obviously not working. Time to try something else. Like others have said, she may not be tired when you're trying to put her to bed. You don't say what your routine is, or even if you have one. If you don't then it's time to establish one. She needs to start winding down about and hour before bedtime. At nine months old, she's probably doing lots of new stuff and her little mind is super active all the time. After dinner, settle her down with a bath, then spend time reading books. She's not too young! You read to your 2 year old at the same time. I don't know what time your kids go to bed, but try to stagger their bedtimes. You may have to move her crib into your room, at least until she's going to sleep with out too much trouble. Once she's mastered falling asleep with out crying, you can move them back into the same room.

I don't see anything wrong with them sharing the same room. They are so young that they don't know the difference. I don't think it's illegal, as someone else stated. I think that only applies to custody hearings in divorce proceedings.

Good luck!

I hated the "crying it out". Everytime I tried it with my daughter her sleep cycle got worse, so I stopped the cry it out. My daughter liked to be rocked though. Is your daughter getting up at night too or is going the sleep the only issue?

I would try putting her in one of those swings that you can keep at home and sitting besides her. The rocking motion of the swing might cause her to fall asleep.

As you are finding out, every child is different and what worked for one may or may not work for the other.

I've never been a fan of crying it out before 12 months. That being said, as others have suggested I see a few things going on.

1) Naps are good. That does mean she's not tired enough at bed time. It's ok at this point if your 9 month old and 2 year old have differnt bed times. Between about 9.5 months and 11 months my daughter had a HORRIBLE time with bed time. Part of the problem was a growth spurt. Those always disrupted her sleep and part of the problem was she was learning a ton of new skills. That kept her little mind going non-stop. For us, she would settle down, and then wake up 3 hours later wanting to play.

I would make sure she gets a lot of interactive and ACTIVE play in the afternoon. Then as others have suggested get into a good night time routine that prompts her to know it is time settle down. Watch for sleepy signs and at the first yawn, eye rub, or glazed look... off to bed. Even if it is an hour after you put your son down.

2) Make sure she isn't hungry. If she's going through a growth spurt she may be more hungry then normal. I often would give my daugther some baby oatmeal before bed when she was going through growth spurts. It helped.

3) She may be crying because of seperation anxiety. The darkness of the night and lack of 'extra' noises around the house may cause her more anxiety. Babies cry for a reason. After trying the other things for awhile, if those don't work... try the suggestion of sitting by her crib and just letting her know you are near. You don't have to talk to her... just be there. And then slowly back up each night until she falls asleep on her own.

Good luck. I know how difficult it can be. My daughter was never a great sleeper before about 13 months old. Growth spurts, emerging skills, and such just made things worse. It does get better. You just need to make sure all her needs are met, let her know you are there no matter what, that you love her and eventually she will get into a good routine.

how are you putting her to sleep would be what i would suggest looking at. maybe she is too tired and you need to start the routine a little earlier. try giving her a soothing bath every night. putting warm lotion on her after(they sell little lotion warmers at sally's beauty supply). then read a couple of books to her. she will enjoy the time with you, and know that it's time for bed. also another thing that helps my daughter is to be sure to turn off the tv before we start the bedtime routine, so she doesn't feel like she's missing out. hope this helps. but i think the most important thing is to figure out what works for each child

It is hard to give advice without really knowing what you do to put your baby down. However, I'll make a couple of suggestions and hope that at least one will help.

First, are you sure you are giving your baby enough time awake? At 9 months, most babies need about 3 hours of awake time in between each sleep period (my son actually needed a bit more - like 4 hours). 9-month-old children also only need about 3-4 hours of total naptime a day. Make sure your daughter is not napping too close to bedtime, or sleeping too long during the day (every child is different of course - those times are best used as guidelines).

Next, are you careful to wind down before bed? At least an hour before bed, it is time to stop playing exciting or stimulating games. This means different things to different kids, but if your baby gets excited by electronics, take them away at this time. If the baby relaxes when reading, it's time to pick up a book. Do you have a bedtime routine? With us, we take a bath, have a bottle, brush our teeth, read a story, and say our prayers, and then we turn on his sleeping-time CD every single night. This routine helps prepare your child for sleep, and soon she will figure out that bathtime indicates bedtime is coming, which will help her relax before it is time to sleep. My son cannot sleep with any music besides his sleepy-time CD, now, but the moment I turn that CD on, he is yawning and rubbing his eyes.

Also, don't just leave your child to cry. The CIO method must be tempered with an attentive mommy. For me, every 10-15 minutes, I would go upstairs, lay my son back down and give him his paci, and then leave. No eye contact, no words, but still a sign that Mommy is there and knows she's trying to sleep. And one of those times, he just wouldn't get back up again.

Finally, to help with your son, you might consider putting your daughter to bed a half-hour or so before your son goes to bed. He's older and can stay up a little bit longer, and this may give her some alone-time in her room to relax and sleep without him there.

As a note about the other poster, I have never heard of it being illegal for kids of either gender to share a room at this age, before puberty has even hit. Sheesh.

I hope one of these techniques will work, or help you out. Good luck to you.