Sleeping Habit of a Two Year Old?

I've found the answer to MANY sleep issues is to put them to bed earlier. It sounds counter-productive, but it works. Even 15-20 minutes can do the trick sometimes.

Also, use little to no stimulus right before bed. I made the mistake of "playing" with my daughter for just a minute last night as we were rocking and that added an extra 20 mins onto the night. (I had tickled the palm of her hand and it must have felt good because she kept asking me to do it. After a few times on each hand, I think she got way too stimulated by the touch because she kept asking me to do it, but started to cry as well. She's 18 months and at that age they just can't really control physical/emotional feelings. It was too much for her.)

**sigh** the way I had to do it was, no nap, no schedule, I just paid close attention to when he was getting tired and put him to bed then. After a while of that, I would start getting him ready for bed a little earlier than when he usually would get sleepy so that by the time he was in his jammies and teeth brushed, he was sleepy enough to pass out. Once that was established, I gradually moved bedtime/naptime to where I wanted it to be, about 5 minutes difference each day until I was happy with when bedtime was. Good luck!

I found that cutting the nap out all together made my son more tired so he was ready for bed earlier, and with less fuss.

P.,
Although a couple of nights is hard, my daughter didn't sleep longer than 20 minutes at a time until she was almost a year. As a toddler she started sleeping a little more but woke 5-8 times a night. Then as a preschooler she woke 3-5 times a night. It wasn't until the last year (she is 5 now) that she has ever slept through the night. So count yourself lucky.

Again, a couple of nights is rough and I am not saying otherwise. But have you considered that it's only a couple of nights? Is she getting molars or going through a growth or learning spurt? Around 2 they do all three of those and as annoying as it can be, they get past it soon. My kids' learning spurts look like they are just wide awake and getting into things (curiosity) and or asking questions up until the second they fell asleep.

Since you asked for a recommendation.... Personally enjoy your daughter. Don't encourage her to be awake...keep the lights down, play soft music and speak softly. No boisterous activity. But here is the thing... a child will sleep when HE/SHE is ready. We can't make them. We can make it horrible and stressful for them or we can be relaxed and calm about it. If you don't understand why she isn't sleeping, how should a 2 yr old know? As parents we need to consider what is going on with the child and not just jump to how to solve our annoyance of not sleeping.

Kids change, their patterns of eating, sleeping, learning and growing change many times as they grow up. I see my job as recognizing the changes and helping the children get through it. But that is just me.

In regards to naps... if she is sleeping 2 hours, it isn't too long for her, it's just right. My kids were completely opposite. My son took naps until he was 5 and slept 2-2.5 hours and slept great at night. My daughter stopped napping before 2 yrs old and well her night time was always TOUGH no matter what. You should keep in mind that not all kids are the same. So just because someone or more than one says their kids don't nap or take shorter or longer naps... that means nothing in regards to your daughter. She is unique and special and you need to figure out what HER body needs, not just what a book or another parent says works with other children.

I hope something I said helped.

Blessings.
M.

My son, who is 2 1/2 has been a pretty good sleeper, but potty training changed that. He wakes up a few times in the night to go potty and has a bit of trouble falling back to sleep. But our rule is if he gets out of his big-boy bed, then we have to turn off the night-light. That happened once. He's never gotten out since.
He goes to bed at 7:30. Usually asleep by alittle after 8.(For some reason, the earlier his bedtime, the better he sleeps. We changed it from 8:30 about 2 months ago--and his wakeup time didn't change!) He's up between 7 and 7:30am. He still naps. 12:30-3:30. He's a different kid when he doesn't get enough sleep.
Hope that's helpful.

Hi Trisha,

I cant' give you any advice but just tell you, you are lucky in many ways my son sleeps a average of 6 hours a day and he is 3!! He has never been a sleeper and he doesn't suffer he is active, happy and generally a great kid (not fussy). He is in pre-school and is testing at a 5 year old level so it doesn't seenm to faze him thsi lack of sleep. I thought maybe I wasn't doing something right and the docs said every kid is different so don't worry, so I would shorten the naps and wake her a little earlier maybe that will be a better schedule for HER.

good luck

I feel your pain P.! My daughter is also 2 and she will not sleep in her own bed. She has a toddler bed and will play in in it when it is light out, but refuses to sleep in it at night. She takes naps also, but sometimes will not go to sleep until 11 or later. Her naps range from 30 minutes to 3 hours depending on how she is feeling. Even when she doesn't take a nap she doesn't go to sleep until later. It almost seems as though they do not want to miss anything.

my four year old always has had trouble sleeping. he has troouble winding down. i feel your pain. he slept in his car seat for a long time cause he would not sleep in his bed so he never used his crib. he has slept with us. we tried the hold crying it out(didnot work) after six hours of doing it and working on it for 2 weeks we gave up for a while we have tried and tried. finally he moved into his big boy be and i did what i never wanted to i put a tv in his room and made hs door into a barndoor ( we cut off the top about six inches about the knob) cause i could not shut the whole door on a 2 year old. ( jaden has sensory intergration) he craves feeling everything. so we had an half hour of reading walking up stairs playing quietly in a half dark room together. see jaden is the opposite of most kids going up and down the stairs calms him wrestling calms him. but since we did this to his room we got some sleep. then it started again when he was about 3 and half. after a while we talked to a developemental pediatritian and his neurolgist and we put him on melatonian 3 mg about an hour before he goes to sleep. at first i was like i don't want to give my kid pills to sleep but i guess melatonian is something your body natuarally produces. some don't have enough. and o my gosh we get sleep now. we still have to have about 20 min just jaden quiet time before he goes to sleep. only a nightlight is on and the tv. but he is deaf so no sound . so he only ends up watching when he finally lays in bed...i hope you get some sleep that is so hard to deal with.

M. spoon

I have a daughter who is about to turn two in Nov. She has some odd sleeping habits and has had them for quite a while. But to address some of your concerns. Two year olds definitly need a nap, and I don't think that two hours is to long by any means. Even when I didn't have a child of my own, I taught daycare and had the two year old class quite often and their nap time was from 1-3pm daily. However, your situation is different If your struggling with her to take a nap, and to go to sleep at night then maybe skipping the nap is best. That way she is tired by the time night falls. Instead of sleeping maybe she could have some quiet time where she watches an educational movie or her favorite show or something that she can just stay calm for a little while and recooperate.

As for night time, around about 18months kids generally become scared of the dark, at least thats the explaination I recieved from my doctor when I addressed this issue with her. My little girl won't go near our hallway when lights are out. She stops and turns to us and asks for the lights to be on before she goes any further. And at night time we have to keep some sort of noise, usually a lullaby cd, and light on for her. I have a little lamp on her dresser, and a night light next to her bed, plus I leave the hallway light on and crack her door. But before we even got her to sleep in her own "big girl bed" we spent endless nights fighting her to go to sleep. The only solution that worked for us was putting her toddler bed in our room, next to our bed. But we clearly defined that it was her bed and she was to only sleep in her bed. We had to transition her to her room. We bought a twin bed and put those mesh rails on it, and bought a trundle that I would sleep on next to her until she fell asleep. Then eventually (a day or two) I would not sleep on the trundle till she fell asleep. I would sit in the chair and read while she fell asleep. Then I moved the chair a little further away each night. And after about a week I only had to kiss her on the head and tell her it's night time. Sometimes I give her a book to look at when I leave the room if she's not completely ready to sleep. I know it's a lot to deal with, but baby steps are my advice. Hope some of this helps.

My daughters never napped. When they were 2 we would have dinner take baths play hard for half hour to an hour (lots of running)then a half hour of kid tv (for relaxation)then to bed for a book and sleeping. It will take a couple of weeks for her to get used to but if they have a set schedule for bed they will be ready within a half hour every time. Consistancy is the most important thing though.

Hi P.!
I'm so sorry to hear of your dd's sleeping troubles. I have a 2 yr old son and he still naps 2 1/2-3 hours a day and still sleeps 11-12 hours at night. His ped said at his 2 year check that this is right on target for his age (needs 13-15 hours of sleep). My son is also still in a crib and will be there for a while, I don't know if that makes a difference. He's woken up early, made some noise and when no one goes to get him right away, he lays right back down. I really think at this age, a nap is really needed. My daughter took a 2-2 1/2 hour nap till she was 5 1/2. She would come home from Kindergarten, take her shoes off and go lay right down. I finally stopped it after Christmas break when she was fighting bedtime. My son on the other hand, really needs his sleep and even if he falls asleep in the car..can be carried in and goes right back to sleep in his room.
He goes to bed at 9pm every night and wakes anywhere from 8am-9am. His nap is from 2:30pm-4:30 or 5pm. If he wakes any earlier than that, he gets cranky and is ready for bed earlier that night..which unfortunately will wake him up earlier the next day. So, we really try to stick to the nap schedule every day.

Sorry if I wasn't much help,
S. :-)

Hi P.,
I have a daughter who'll be 2 this month. She sleeps from 8pm - 8am and take a 2 hour nap from 1-3 or 2-4 which sounds almost like what your daughter is doing. Have you tried pushing her nap back a little bit to mid afternoon and maybe she'll be more tired? Also try cutting her nap short, maybe she just doesn't need a two hour nap during the day anymore. Try to compromise with her and have a light on in the hallway and not in her room.

I know this sleep thing is SO hard, good luck!

Each child is different. My son, is 4, and still takes a 2 to 3 hour nap every afternoon (or the majority), goes to bed at around 8p and wakes up about 8a. MOST mornings I have to WAKE him up. On the other hand, my aunt runs a day care out of her home and she does not allow the children to sleep longer than an hour at nap time in the afternoon. She says it causes them to not go to bed on time at night for their parents. But in both cases, we agree on the fact that the children need to lay down and at least rest (don't use the word "sleep" or "nap" if she sees those as baby things. Say things like you need to lay and rest your eyes. There's no need to sleep but simply REST for one hour. I will come in and get you when your hour is up).
My son also had problems sleeping around two. It's when the fear of darkness starts. We use a lamp with a 7watt light bulb in it for a night light. It seems like a lot of light but it helped. Also, they start to fear that your going to leave them and not come back. Teachers in toddler rooms at day care would tell you they have parents show up the exact same time every day, never once late, and the child will suddenly have fears they are forgotten. It's a stage. I sat outside my sons door for about a week while he fell asleep. When he started this stage. Letting him cry it out, he would get up, walk over to the door which was mostly closed, open it and I was there to walk him back to his bed without saying a word. Put him back in bed and went back outside the door. I did have to start in his room and move my way to the door over the course of a week earlier than that because I had gotten into the habit of sitting in his room while he fell asleep. If you still are able to let her cry it out, and can be close by while he falls asleep it might help.
If she is a talker, or can "draw a picture" to why she does not want to sleep at night, and listen to her explain what she is drawing as she draws it, you might find out more information as to why she will not go to sleep, and be able to help her more. You could also have to role play by putting babies to bed and listen to what she says in reaction to what her babies tell her during pretend play.
I hope some of this helps you. Best wishes!

My daughter who is almost 2 (12/26) goes to bed at 10:30 (her dad works till 9) and wakes up around 8. She usually takes a 2 1/2 or 3 hour nap.
She is still in a crib-but not for long-she is starting to jump out!
We are having fits with her going to bed too. I have noticed since we have picked up with our routine a little better she is not fighting as much, so you might want to try forming a routine. Good luck!

I guess that I understand your pain a little bit. My daughter is two as well, and she recently stopped taking naps on a regular basis and also likes to stay up as late as her little body will let her. I don't know what to tell you except give it some time and be consistent. Either she takes a nap or she doesn't, but the on and off again will really disrupt the pattern. If she is staying up so long at night, then maybe she is just one of the kids who doesn't need a nap in the middle of the day. After a while, the grouchiness goes away, and a better pattern is set. If she is getting out of bed too much at night, then try some winding down activities so that her little body will begin to trigger that it is bedtime: take a bath at the same time or read a book in the same hour every night so that she will learn about bedtime, and then you can gradually take the bedtime activities away when her body starts to get sleepy at the same time every night.

I am so sorry that you are having this battle. I know it must be exhausting for you too. I have a 2 year old son and he goes to bed around 8:30 and gets up between 6:30 and 7:00 and takes a 2 hour nap each day. Even if he could nap longer I don't let him stay in bed longer than 2 hours during the day. Don't know if this helps but thought I would try

my daughter sotpped napping right after turning 3 if she naps now she will not sleep until after 11 pm i will usually just sit her down in the afternon to rest and watch a dvd for about an hour she will go to bed around 9 pm and sleep until 8 am she really has no need for a nap and i make sure i run her around during the day we go someplace so she runs off the engery she has i would try stopping the naps or just have her go down for an hour without a nap the first couple of day wil be tough but hang in and she she should start sleeping again the other thing when she get out of her bed just walk her back to her bed, don't say anything and put her back in you have to do this a couple of time but it will work also, the night light works real good for us we call it her monster light to keep the monster away
good luck and stick to you guns

S.

My daughter is also 2 and is wonderful except when it is time to go to bed. We also recently moved her into a "big girl" bed. We have been fighting for the past month to get her to sleep. We put her to bed at 9pm and it usually takes a least an hour for her to go to sleep. This hour includes her screaming and crying and getting out of bed to get books and toys. Sometimes it is 10:30 or 11pm before she goes to bed. She usually wakes up between 7:30 and 8am and many times she does not take a nap. I still try to put her down for a nap but she sits in her room and plays and will not go to sleep. By about 5 or 6, she is really tired and cranky so I know she needs a nap but she doesn't seem tired around 1pm which is usually when I try to put her down for a nap. When she does take a nap, it is usually between an hour and a half to 2 hours that she sleeps.

My daughter turned 2 in July. She sleeps about 11 hrs. at night and then takes about a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. However, she is still in a crib, so this could be why she is so good about taking her naps and going to sleep. I have been afraid to switch to a big girl bed just for this reason. My daughter never seems tired before bed, but I still make her go to bed around the same time each night and she always goes right to sleep once I lay her down in the crib.

My son turned 2 on Oct 21st, and he takes a nap for 2 hours in the afternoon. When he starts staying up late, we just get him up extra early, and it seems to get him back on schedule after a night or two... We also have a night time routine EVERY night, without fail. Jammies on, 1 episode of Barney (ugh), a snack, brush teeth, blankie, story and bed.
Keep in mind, sometimes YOU are tired, and you go to bed and can't fall asleep. It happens to kids, too.
The best advice I have is to make sure you're not punishing her by making her go to bed, or putting her in her room for punishment. I love to go to bed, and so do my kids, because I make it a punishment that they have to stay up later. I add mimutes on at bedtime, they can't play, watch TV or talk, then they get to go to bed and get my attention again with their story. LOL. It sounds like BS, I know... but it totally works.

My son is almost 2 and he still takes naps, although lately its been a hard to get him down for one. I usually start trying around 2-2:30 and this week all of a sudden he either hasn't taken one or didn't got down till almost 4! He naps anywhere from 1.5-3 hours. He sleeps in a "big boy bed" too and its now a bit harder. He has always been a good sleeper so once he realizes he can't get out of his room (I latch him in there) he will just sit in his bed and look at books (which is ok by me). At night though he will get out of bed and turn on the light, but normally after I go in an but him back in his bed he gets the point.

Hi,

I can not give you personal advice about a 2 year old, but I can STRONGLY RECCOMEND the book, Happy Children, Healthy Sleep Habits. A mom on the block gives it to everyone when they have a baby and i call it my "sleep bible".

My 8 month old has bad a fuss free nap and sleep schedule since 6 weeks.

The book is great!

There is no laws that say when your child should sleep. There are books that suggest guidelines on how to raise children etc., but you as the parent have to go by your gut instinct. Not all kids are the same. If your daughter seems like she doesn't need a nap anymore...then take away the nap. See how it works for a month or so. If she's overly tired, crabby, or worn out you can always reinstate the nap.

This sounds JUST like my daughter when she was 2... she's 4 now. We really pulled our hair out for Months, so hugs to you... I can relate!

First of all, nothing you do is going to make her stay in bed. If you have a 2 story house, Lock all of the other upstairs doors except for her bedroom, so there's nowhere else for her to go but the hall. Put a gate on the steps.

Remove most of the toys from her room, or put them high in her closet so she can't reach them at night.

As for the light, we changed all of the lights in her room to very low wattage bulbs. They sell 5 watt & 8 watt bulbs that can screw into a regular light bulb socket... they're smaller than reg. lightbulbs. This worked wonders for us cause she felt like she was in control cause she could turn the light on, but it wasn't bright enough to interfere with her sleep.

as for ther naps, you can try to stop them if they are too much of a struggle.... Just lie down with her and watch a movie or something. Make a rule that she has to stay on the couch/bed until the movie is over. This way she'll still have quiet time, and she may or may not fall asleep based on how tired she is.

Hope this helps!

Becca

All 3 of our kids took naps through kindergarten except for our 5 year old and that is because he has ALL day kindergarten -

we just kept the crib up in their rooms and threatened that they would go in their crib (and DID what we threatened - THAT IS THE BIGGEST KEY TO EVERYTHING) if they didn't stay in their big kids bed. Same typ of thing at nap times --- or we even layed there with them some days after reading them a story - a few times I "played" like I fell asleep --- it worked some of the times.

"You're a Better Parent Than You Think" <--- that is a great book by Dr. Ray Guarendi --- check it out --- YOU really are you know???

Hi P.,

I know you feel. My first born took naps until he was three and still went to bed around 8:30pm, but woke up at 6am. Therefore, a nap was necessary. However, my daughter stopped napping around 20 months, went to bed at 8:30, slept until 8am. I suspect that it may take some adjusting for you both to give up naptime, but try it, see what happens. She may be ready to drop at bedtime...:)

You are loved,
D.

Trisha,

You cannot MAKE someone fall asleep; you have to create an atmosphere that allows rest. My guys both stopped taking naps completely at 2, although my 3 1/2 year old sometimes checks out for an hour or so in the late afternoon. As children get older, they often develop a temporary fear of the dark--as their imaginations grow.

Let your daughter sleep for the hours she needs. If she naps in the afternoon for two hours, that is not "too long of a nap" for her. People will tell you to have a strict monotonous bedtime routine (which really would be a pain if you are not at home), or even descend to drugging her (a dose of benedryl), neither of which is a good idea.

Instead of fighting with her, or expecting her to cry it out, how about snuggling with her and reading a book? Also, what time to you go to bed? She may think she is missing out on great things if she goes to sleep too soon. She may just not be tired. The www.askdrsears.com website has some great happy sleeping tips, too.

Best wishes,
K.

Hi!
I too have a 2 year old little girl and I'm going through the same thing so I can completely sympathize with you. We just put her into a big girl bed and at first she did pretty well, but now she struggles to go to sleep and STAY asleep. The other night she got up 5 times during the night. Needless to say, we get NO sleep around here!! She still takes naps during the day (for my sanity), but only for about an hour or so. If you find any magic answers here, please share them!
H.

My son sleeps from 8 PM to around 8 AM and naps from noon until 2 PM everyday. We are also transitioning to a big boy bed and it's been rough. Here are a few things I've tried that seem to work.

Go to bed earlier - my son finds it difficult to fall asleep when he's overly tired.

Give lots of hugs and kisses - my son seems to crave affection close to bedtime

Have a protein snack - sometimes my 2 year old is a little too hungry to sleep and a piece of cheese and a little milk helps.

Mediation - my son responds well to being verbally coached into relaxation (close your eyes, breath deep, think of Elmo . . . )

We've tried the usual advice to put him to bed over and over again with out talking to him. That hasn't worked at all and has delayed a solution and frustrated us for hours. He thinks its a funny game and gets real keyed up. Also, yelling and time outs don't work for us either. Fortunately, my son responds well to love, politness and verbal teaching and he also loves to sleep. Good luck.

Hi P....

My 2 1/2-year-old son went through the same thing this past summer. I noticed it when we let him stay up more often because it was nice out. I am not sure if this will work with your schedule but we fixed our problem immediately when we started to wake him up between 6:30-7am. He would have all morning to play and by 1pm he was exhausted. He wakes from nap between 2:30-3pm. He is always ready for bed around 8pm. I hope this helps!!
Good luck and take care!
~K.

This was hard for me to give up so early but when my daughter was two she quit naps. She just did not need them anymore. It made bedtime so much easier. We actually had to make bedtime a little earlier b/c she was pooped by then. It just is not worth the hassle for the naps(espically if it is a battle for the nap itself). We always had "quiet time" and she would have to sit in her room and read books or something calming. It really worked wonderfully. Good luck-

My daughter is also two years old and recently started to sleep in a "big-girl" bed. We usually set her nap time sometime after lunch and require her to stay in her room for at least two hours. We don't make her sleep, it's impossible to make a 2-year old sleep! We call it her quiet time. She can read books, or quietly watch a movie. She usually falls asleep during this 'quiet time'.

One thing I may suggest: Create a routine. My Mom always told me that kids love routine and find comfort in knowing what comes next. Every night, around 9pm we start our routine. We put our daughter into pajamas, let her brush her teeth, read her a book and put her to bed. She makes sure that we keep a little nightlight on and the door cracked. We have a fan on in her room for white noise and a cd that promotes relaxation. We use the same cd in our room with our infant daughter. Find a routine that works for you and your daughter. In a short while, you may see a change. I can't promise that you won't have the occasional meltdown, but it really does work! Our daughter knows the routine, and tells us what comes next! Good luck!

P.S. The cd is called: Music For Brainwave Massage
by Dr. Jeffery Thompson. I've played it at bedtime
and naptime for my eldest since she was a couple of
months old. For the first year or more, as soon as
she would hear the music, she would relax and drift
off to sleep!