Since my 7 month old son was born he has had sleep issues. Once i would be done nursing him i would lay him down and he would scream as soon as i laid him down or he would only sleep no longer than 30 minutes. so i figured he was just used to sleeping in my arms or he was a very light sleeper. so in order for him to ever get a good nap i would just nurse him and hold him until he woke up. bad idea. i did that until he was 5 months old. once he was 5 months old i would lay him down already asleep in his crib, and if he woke up i would let him play to get tired again and i would then nurse him and lay him down. after a few weeks when i would lay him down he would actually stay asleep. but onluy sleep 30 min-1 hour or less. so i just figured he wasnt tired. i am still doing this with naptime and his naps have gotten longer sometimes up to 2 hours. so naptime is ok but bedtime is another story. i can get him to sleep and lay him down and he will sleep 1-2 hours before waking up screaming. i used to go in and pick him up and rock him to sleep. but it would take forever to get him back to sleep. so at 7 months old i decided to try the cry it out method and it seems to work sometimes. the first night wakening i could go in and rubb his back and he would either go back to sleep or fuss for 5-7 minutes. then he would awake again 1-2 hours later and continue doing this until 7am. i would check to make sure everything was ok before letting him cry. sometimes he woul cry 10 minutes and others up to 1-2 hours. he used to sleep in the bed with me but everytime i moved he would wake up. so he is doing better sleeping in his crib. but i can not find out why he is waking up every 1-2 hours just to cry. he is not teething right now, he wont need a diaper, and is not hungry, it is not a "im in pain" cry its just a cry to be held. last night he cried for 2 hours and i felt horrible. i was reading about people who let their infants cry and it broke my heart, i felt like sure a bad mom. so now i am not going to let him cry himself to sleep anymore. but i dont know what to do. i looked up sleep isues in google and found that he could have a medical problem since hes been doing this since birth. he has never been a good sleeper. he has never slept longer than 3-4 hours. one time he was overly tired before he went to bed and he did sleep 6 hours. but never has that happened again. so idk what could be bothering him and waking him. any advice? i also try swaddleing him still and he hates it. i use a white noise machine, and i make sure the room isnt too hot or cold. any advice on what could be startling my child?
Well my son did not sleep the hole night for a year and a half BUT he might have acid reflex or have you tired having him sleep on his tummy? you can also try warm milk but other then that if you really feel like theres something more going on see the Doc.
I was reading an article and think it makes some very valid points. Here is a link to it if you want to look it up but it basically says that a baby is helpless and "totally dependent on others for his needs. During this stage, the infant learns whether the world in which he lives can be trusted. When he is hungry and he cries, will he be fed? When his bottoms are wet, will his diapers be changed? When he is unwell or afraid, will he be comforted?"
http://www.vtaide.com/blessing/ERIK1.htm
I agree with this article on a lot of points. Giving in to the demands of an older child is not good for them but when a baby needs something they just have to cry until the need is met. So meet that need. As the child grows safe and secure in his world he will learn to be independent. I don't think I can recall seeing any moms walking around carrying toddlers because they didn't want to get down and explore.
You will do fine. If it gets to be too much have someone help you out by watching the baby all night and let you sleep. They can wake you up if there is an emergency. You can't give good care if you are exhausted.
Hi K.,
I'm sorry you have sleep issues, I hate dealing with sleep issues. It can be so frustrating. One book that helped me a lot was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." I would highly recommend it. He talks about a lot of sleep issues and how to fix them. I think it would also be a good idea to talk to your doctor about it as well to make sure he can rule out any possible health issues. It sounds to me like he is over-tired from never getting enough sleep and you will need some very hard work, and very pro-active solutions to get him back on track. It is also possible that he has just never learned to self-soothe because he is used to nursing to sleep or rocking to sleep. Perhaps you can find something like a small satiny blanky or stuffed animal, or perhaps a pacifier to get him to learn to soothe himself back to sleep. One thing that helps is putting him to bed just as he is getting tired, before he actually gets fussy as he will find it easier to learn to fall asleep that way. I hope you can find something that works well so you both can get the rest you need.
M.
I was thinking that instead of holding him at night ... put a chair next to his bed and you sit in the chair and he remains in the bed and you can pat his back or whatever. It may be a slow process but over time you move the chair farther and farther away from the bed until eventually the chair is outside the door and hopefully he should be able to sleep on his own. This is of course if there is no medical reason he is having trouble. Good luck.
Does he have any problems spitting up? If so that could be a problem, if he is lactose intolerant and you sre taking in dairy products that could do it too. The reason I say this is because I went through it with my daughter, who I had to put on soy formula and the pediatrician put her on medicine for acid reflux but now shes 11 months old and doesnt need it anymore. There are a few things that could be going on. Have you tried offering him baby food? Sometimes that helped and he is at the age where that may be what he wants. I would take him to the doctor and see if they can figure out whats going on, and if nothing else try giving him a small bowl of rice cereal mixed with your breast milk and feed it to him by spoon. Also if it is reflux my daughters pediatrician had me raise the crib on the end her head is on that way she is at an angle with her head high so the reflux wont be so bad, I put magazines under that end of her crib and it did help
I have a three year old son that has had issues with sleep since he was born. My husband used to hold him after I nursed him so that I could get 2-3 hours of sleep. He has not outgrown the need to have someone with him when he sleeps. He tends to have nightmares or dreams that interfere with him having a good nights sleep. I recently had another baby, a little girl, and she does great. My mom, being the wonderful person that she is, turned me on to a book to help with getting my son to sleep. It is for children 0-5. It's called Good Night, Sleep Tight, by the Sleep Lady (Kim West). I have not finished it yet but when I read your problem I thought I would pass that on to you and hopefully you can find some solace in her teachings. I am crossing my fingers that it works for me and I will do the same for you. Good luck!
I agree with what another person already said, "meet your baby's needs" . . . even if that need is just to be comforted. Sometimes my son would only sleep on his tummy, ON TOP OF US! LOL When he fell asleep, we'd slowly roll him off.
A. :)
He might have a sleep problem. Does he snore? or have trouble breathing at night? If he does you might want to looking to getting a sleep test done on him. I cant let my baby cry it out either so I know how you feel. I found this great product the 4 Moms Goodnight Sleep trainer. It does the crying out thing in stages. It works really well-when your baby is not teething or sick. Also try putting him to bed before he falls asleep. I have done this with my daughter since birth and she sleep mostly thought the night and can put herself back to sleep most times. Also get a bedtime routine, use his nature rythme and set a routine. For example if he falls to sleep about 8 start the routine about 7 or so. This clues him in that is is time for bed. My baby now is ready for bed before we start and by the time we are done she is ready to sleep.I stated this at 4 weeks, when I could see she had a natural pattern of sleep..it works. Also if he goes to sleep witha nunny put a bunch in the crib so he can find one and maybe put himself back to sleep.
My little boy had a similar issue. He had allergies and preferred to sleep on his tummy - have you tried laying him on his tummy? I know it's scary with SIDS and all, but that is the only way mine would sleep - and yes it scared me. But, like I said, it was all that worked. He also has large tonsils and he later had tubes in his ears - although I didn't know any of that was needed at the time. So, laying on his back made it difficult for him to breath. I would check on him more often when he was sleeping on his tummy and I think they have an alarm you can buy that will go off if your baby stops breathing, etc..... Good luck :)
I think it sounds like he is conditioned into only sleeping a short amount of time. He has never been taught how to actually sleep for longer than 30 minutes to an hour. I would recommend the book The Baby Whisperer. She gives you techniques and a routine to follow so that you teach your baby how to sleep on his own and fall asleep on his own and finally stay asleep. I used this book for each of my children and they have all slept through the night by 2 months old (6-7 hours at night). They are now able to sleep for 12 hours at night and it is a huge blessing. Get the book and stick to it!! It will be hard, and it will probably take a while to really work, but it beats doing what is going on with your son for the next few years!!
