6 Year Old Freaking Out About Socks!

Updated on November 15, 2014
V.M. asks from Lincoln, MA
29 answers

Just wondering if anyone else has gone through this - my 6 year old daughter freaks out evry morning lately about her socks. The line across the top isn't right, or they "feel weird". No amount of wiggling and repositioning seems to work. And tights are a nightmare, she completely loses it because they're "too tight". I used to get around it with leggings, but now she won't wear those either. This will be an issue now as it's getting colder and actually she HAS to wear tights (or knee high socks) to school (they have a uniform). So - first off - is this a normal thing/phase or is my daughter being particularly sensitive? Any advice on how to handle it? I've bought new socks, bigger tights, different types of tights. She has even admitted that once she's at school she doesn't think about it and understands that's why she can wear them all day - but in the morning, trying to get out the door in time, no amount of logic or cajoling seems to work, she's almost always in tears (and she's usually in a great mood when she wakes up). It's gotten consisently worse, and I'm beginning to seriously lose my patience with it, so any advice welcome! Thanks!

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's a sensory issue as others have noted. I can't wear any tights that are not 100% Cotton. Nordstroms brand seamless socks are the only ones my LO will wear. It can't be trained out of someone. It's just the way we are wired.

7 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Denver on

If you will type in "socks for kids with sensory issues" into Google, you'll see many, many sites that sell socks without seams, tights, etc. There's a site called SmartKnitKids, and Therawear, and so many others. The sites are full of testimonials like "my daughter used to cry every morning" or "it was awful just trying to get my child dressed until I found these products", and it sounds like you'll find a lot of people who understand and have similar sensitivity issues to deal with.

You might try ordering one pair of socks and one pair of tights and see if they help, and then you'll know whether to order more.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Maybe try things like warming up her tights or putting lotion on her legs first? Or putting them on at a different time of the morning, maybe once she's gotten breakfast?

3 moms found this helpful

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

My dd didn't wear socks for around 6 months, even in winter. Cold feet were more comfortable than the socks. This is part of a sensory processing disorder. She also went without undies for the same time period. She's 7 now, and it's getting better.

Sensory kids brains work differently and are really set off by uncomfortable clothing. It's not something they can control, although it does get better (and they start learning control) as they get older. They do make seamless socks (and maybe tights), which may help. Can she wear warm boots to school with her uniform for a while, without socks? You might want to chat with the school folks to see if you can come up with a solution.

Good luck. Give your kiddo as much leeway as possible on this one.

ETA: And, as others suggest, try to find an OT for her. We did this with my daughter, and it did seem to help with some issues.

ETA part 2: It is highly unlikely that this is "drama." If it is a sensory processing disorder, her brain really, really (really!) has a difficult time dealing with the sensation of the socks/tights. So much so that everything else gets shut out. This isn't something consequences, cajoling, punishment, or threats will change.

6 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I've dealt with this with my 12 year old for his entire life. He hates how socks feel.

We finally found a brand he likes a couple of years ago (they're really soft and stretchy). We only buy those.

I suggest that you go and find the softest, stretchiest socks you can. Regardless the cost, if she happily wears them they're worth every penny.

Also, be sure her shoes aren't too small. The seam can feel yucky on too-small shoes.

5 moms found this helpful
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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

I would send her to school with socks in her backpack.

I do believe that the socks feel yucky to her.. but once she gets to school she is distracted and doesn't spend the rest of the day crying over socks..

so warn her ... "sally if you cry about your socks tomorrow.. you will go to school with socks in your backpack.. and you can put them on at school.. ... then if there are more tears follow through with the threat... . do it once and I bet it will stop..

you are giving the problem back to her... she must learn to get by in the world with socks on her feet... it is a school rule...

Updated

I would send her to school with socks in her backpack.

I do believe that the socks feel yucky to her.. but once she gets to school she is distracted and doesn't spend the rest of the day crying over socks..

so warn her ... "sally if you cry about your socks tomorrow.. you will go to school with socks in your backpack.. and you can put them on at school.. ... then if there are more tears follow through with the threat... . do it once and I bet it will stop..

you are giving the problem back to her... she must learn to get by in the world with socks on her feet... it is a school rule...

4 moms found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Don't make her wear socks!! I had the exact same issue as a kid. To this day, there are certain socks that I cannot wear. It is hard to explain, they just freak me out. I grew up in the frozen north but still wore shoes with no socks! If she is like me, wearing those awful socks is the tactile equivalent of someone scratching a chalkboard in your ear.
I found that I can handle certain thin cotton socks, nothing with loops or super stretchy or fuzzy inside. For tights, I actually found that the thicker ones were better and didn't make my feet slide. The best are stirrup-style tights!! She may do much better with these. I know it sounds silly, but it really is nearly unbearable to wear "wrong socks." Tell her I know she is not crazy :)
http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1846927/Apt-9-Seamless-S...

4 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Some kids do have sensory issues, as Doris Day said. It happens to quite a few children, from those on the autism spectrum to others who are not. Talk to your pediatrician about a referral for available therapies.

The other possibility is that this is a power play. When my son stalled about getting ready for school, I stopped fighting him. I told him one morning, in as light a tone as possible, that I would drive him when he was ready. I then casually mentioned that, of course, when we arrived at school, he couldn't go directly to his classroom because the school rule is that late arrivals have to check in at the office. If he comes in from a doctor's appointment, I can explain that to the principal. But since I don't know what his reason is for dawdling, he can explain to the principal why he felt it was more important to stay home than to come to school on time. That stopped him in his tracks and he never fussed about it again. If your daughter is just not transitioning well to the getting ready and getting into a uniform, then the prospect of telling the principal that she won't wear socks may wake her up.

If it's a true sensory issue, then this won't work, and you'll know how to proceed. Either way, you really want to stop the arguing and cajoling because it's not working and it's obviously frustrating for you to have to come up with reasons why she has to wear socks.

Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

How about turning the socks inside out?

Another idea would be to find something to distract her while her feet get used to the tights/socks. Something like a pliable stress ball that she can shape with her hands. That might be enough to refocus her.

3 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

That was me growing up. I got made fun of by my exasperated family all the time. It wasn't something I could fix or control. Their responses just made my self confidence plummet. Turns out that it is a common sensitivity among gifted kids. I suggest you look into SENG, which is an organization that educates parents about sensitivities and emotional issues in gifted kids. Support and understanding would have gone a long way with me as a kid. My daughter reacts this way, too, and I remind her that if she can tolerate it for a little while, it'll start to feel better (a.k.a., she will soon be distracted and forget about it). But bigger socks, tighter socks, no matter what socks, will not make it better.

3 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

This is an indication of sensory integration problems. I promise you that if you take her to an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory integration (SI), that she will help your daughter A LOT. And you'll be a lot happier...

3 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

This is SO my daughter. It drives me nuts! Except, my kiddo doesn't forget about it, it really bugs her all day. And although it feels like a new issue, I guess it isn't. Even as a toddler, she had me cut the feet off her footie pajamas, because she hated the way it felt.

Turning them inside out worked for a while, but by the end of the day she could feel the seem and it didn't take her long to stop using that trick. Stride Rite sells seamless socks. They are pricey, but worth it to me. It stopped the arguments and fussing. And I bought her boots with a soft lining. Sometimes, we skip socks altogether. I would rather have stinky boots than a fight in the morning...choosing my battles.

We don't do tights too often. I opt for leggings and the seamless or inside out socks when I can. I have even been known to lob off the feet of tights on occasion. Can she wear the footless tights with the lace on the ends? That might be a compromise.

With my kiddo, it's not drama. She really hates it. I don't fight it. There are things in my closet I hate wearing because I don't like the way they feel. MY kid is just unfortunate to hate something most of us wear daily. Since giving up the sock battle, life is so much better.

3 moms found this helpful
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H.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was the EXACT same way from preschool until about fourth or fifth grade. It is definitely a sensory processing thing in my case because at 22 years old I still can only wear certain kinds of socks! It will take time, trial and error and patience but eventually you'll find socks that are bearable for her. I still "freak out" and rip off clothes that are too tight or make me feel claustrophobic for any small reason. During pregnancy especially this is worse and I can't wear anything close fitting at all. even leggings! Oh, and since I was 3 or 4 I rip off pajamas in my sleep no matter how cold it is. Even on vacation and camping trips in the sleeping bag. My point is, some of us are a little quirky that way and it's normal.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Since she doesn't mind them after leaving the house, I'm thinking it probably isn't a serious sensory issue. So my advice is to let her make the choice to skip the socks and tights.

This will turn your problem into her problem, because -

She will be cold and wish her legs were covered.
She will get scolded/punished at school if socks are a required part of her uniform.

Both of these things are natural consequences. One or the other will probably prompt your child start putting her socks on, and you won't have the morning frustration of trying to cajole her into anything.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My son was like this and now my 6 yr old daughter sometimes has this issue. When my son was little, there was only one type of Hanes brand that had a thinner line. Turning socks inside out did not help since it was still there and he could feel it with his shoes on. For tights, you might want to get a thinner tight or see if you can get something with lower Lycra percent.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Look for seamless socks. It's a sensory thing - not her fault. Some people just REALLY feel things that many of us just filter out. Logic and cajoling won't help because it's an actual physical issue.

Google seamless socks for kids. I think a lot of stores have this now and they aren't expensive.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Have you tried turning them inside out?

1 mom found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Doris on the Sensory Integration. That is exactly what I was thinking. I go through issues with my son as well. Keep in mind that this is real for her, she is not making it up, and she may not be able to control it.

Good Luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.Z.

answers from Seattle on

Can you try seamless socks and uniform pants for a while? My daughter was about 7 when she decided she wouldn't wear jeans. Anything with an elastic waist was fine, but buttons and zippers were very uncomfortable for her. I worked around it and let her wear stretch pants and jeggings. I wouldn't worry about it.

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter did this right about that age. I bought seamless socks for her and she outgrew it after about 2 years.

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J.E.

answers from Boston on

You are definitely not alone! They make seemless socks btw because there are lots of kids with sensory issues that have the same complaints. Just google it😄. If she's fine at school, it sounds like it's worse in the morning because it could be about transitioning into the school day. I know lots of kids and parents who go through the same thing...

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

My son was that way. Had to be a certain sock, couldn't have a line one them, had to be short, had to be white ..... you see where I'm going on this. I thought he was OCD with socks. Nope, just particular.

I just made sure I had the socks he liked. Never bought anything else. Sometimes he would find a sock in the pack that didn't meet "his standards" and he would be a handful with that. He had a "brand" and didn't want anything other than those. His brand was Hanes.

A couple of things, is the a certain brand that she likes? if she doesn't wear the tights, will she get in trouble at school? Maybe that consequence will make her understand that she needs to wear them.

1 mom found this helpful
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X.Y.

answers from Chicago on

Very common. I turn my sons socks inside out and it worked

1 mom found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

That thing used to bug me too, I just don't wear socks anymore. I don't care for the way they feel against my feet.

Do other things irritate her? I can't stand the sound or feel of styrofoam or chalk on my hands.

My daughter also has to wear knee high socks or the nylon sock. She prefers the nylon sock and even wears the nylon sock in her ice skates. Otherwise, no socks.

With that said, no socks in a sneaker...stinks!

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T.Y.

answers from Boston on

This is a real thing. Some kids hate the feel of the seam on socks. Some kids call them "sock bumps". Get your daughter seamless uniform socks. Here's the link on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00IY8GRAC/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?q...

Even if the socks are more expensive than ones you get at Walmart, they're worth it for peaceful easy mornings!

Best,
T. Y

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

We aren't big sock wearers in my house.my oldest had issues with hers around 22 months. She will now wear them when necessary, but only hubby wears socks all the time. My 20 month old even takes them off when she takes off her shoes! It was 30 degrees yesterday and I left the house without any on. I hate the way they pinch my feet. They are just so uncomfortable.

I only insists on socks when they are necessary, I.e. It's cold outside, your wearing your good gym shoes, etc.

I guess my point is, does she have to wear socks? Why not free her from them and see if that doesn't allow her to make the choice to wear them when necessary.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Buy the tights in extra sizes and then take the ends and trip off the part with the seam. Take a needle and thread and make a hand stitched seam that faces OUTSIDE towards the shoe from her toes instead of the seam being on top of her foot or on top of her toes.

My shoes would rub blisters on top of my toes when they constantly rubbed that seam.

If you don't get them where they're long long long they'll be too short when you re-sew the end.

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K.F.

answers from New York on

I wouldn't fight this fight. Life is such a better teacher than you could ever be in this case. Let her go to school with no socks or tights.

Yes she will be cold but it is her choice. Let her choose, suffer the consequences and then make some different choices.

It's difficult as parents to watch them go through this but it is for the best. They learn how to make choices they can live with. Socks/tights are a necessary evil. Pick the lesser of the two and keep it moving.

My son had an issue with his sneakers and shoes. When I would take him to the store to try them on. He would have a fit about, "they feel funny". Any footwear with a seam over the top of the shoe where the toes meet the foot was a serious problem for him. That problem seemed to eliminate so many shoes and sneakers from being under consideration. He started this drama at aroung 3 years old and kept at it until he was around 6 or 7. After that the drama ceased but he still has a certain way a shoe should be made to feel good on his foot.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it's a "feeling". How they feel on her. Too tight, too constricting.
I wouldn't necessarily say sensory.
So you need to try all socks under the sun to find ones that are not too
tight, scratchy, constricting etc.
My son didn't like certain ones (short phase) but I found some short
crew socks that aren't too tight & are soft.

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