6 Year Old Daughter Follows Me Around the House, Always Thinks I Will Leave Her?

I totally disagree with the previous post. I have 4 duaghters and my second daughter was 6 when her dad and I divorced. For a couple of years she was like that with only me and no one else. We went to counseling and over time she was better. It concerns me how people are quick to say they are manipulating you (I know some kids can). My children range from 21 years old to 11 months old and I know maipulation- went through it with my first. But this is not manipulation, there is a true emotional issue. Really think about taking her to counseling. Each child reacts differently to divorce. I don't know your whole story but you mentioned a husband so I am guessing that you are remarried. This is alot for a small child to accept, divorce and then a new person in mom's life-it is called separation anxiety. I would not be harsh towards her about this. Be patient and seek help. It does get better. Hope this helps.

Just a thought ...
I worked in a children's grieving program for a while and it is amazing how their little minds deal with "losing" someone, even when it's not due to death. It may be possible that she is afraid of you leaving her because she feels like that's what happened with her dad. It is many times an almost subconcious thought pattern, not one that they come up with purposely, but it has manifestations much like what you are talking about.

Just something to think about- may be entirely different in this case. If that's what it is, it would be good to take her to a counselor and these things can usually be resolved pretty quickly.

Good luck and you're a great mom for trying to figure this out.

I think this will be a very unpopular answer, but here it is what I truly think. I think this is how your daughter has learned to control you. The fact that she does not have this behavior at school, with her dad, or at other activities makes me think this is an action of control. And it is working perfectly. You are bending to her will of staying with her, reassuring her, comforting her, focusing, focusing, focusing ON HER.

I've seen this behavior several different times while working with children. The poor harried mother was always so incredibly worried for her child and scared for her child and would hang around and watch to make sure she was okay, etc., etc. But when we began to work on being firm and standing firm and telling the child no (and in one severe case, actually disciplining the child for the behavior)the behavior ceased because it wasn't true fear...it was a learned manipulation that worked.

So there is something to think about. The inconsistency of the behavior is what makes me believe this is about control and manipulation. Only you can figure out if this is manipulation or fear. And the manipulation can look a lot like fear. If it were me and I suspected emotional blackmail then I would sit her down and explain the rules. I would also reassure her that you would never leave without telling her and then I would start enforcing a no toleration policy toward the fits and behavior. I would also reward her when she successfully bathes alone, etc.

Just something to think about.
VickiS

Hi A.,

Is your daughter struggling with anything else? Does she get tired easily, have meltdowns when overwhelmed, avoid playing sports games with other kids, is she extremely picky about textures of clothing, loud sounds or textures of foods? is she having any trouble in the classroom?

Good luck!
S. M