5-Year-old Pooping in Pants Still....

You could try putting him back in diapers for a week. My daughter had almost the same issue except hers looked more like minor accidents and careless wiping. However she still at 10 has these issues. I make her clean out her underwear in the toilet, I don't want to do it anymore.

My son had some issues with this and we had him sit on the toilet after every meal. If he went after breakfast, he wouldn't have to try after lunch or dinner, but if he didn't go, he did. He could bring a toy or a book, and I made him sit for a while. If you do it after a meal, they are more likely to go.
I agree with the other posts that you should talk to your pediatrician to rule out a bowel issue (like holding it and then being unable to control when he goes).
Good luck!

I actually didn't potty train until I was five. Finally, I was motivated to potty train when I was told that I couldn't start school unless I used the potty. I don't know if that will help you at all, but that's what worked for me, I guess.

Updated

I actually didn't potty train until I was five. Finally, I was motivated to potty train when I was told that I couldn't start school unless I used the potty. I don't know if that will help you at all, but that's what worked for me, I guess.

Google "encopresis" and see if it applies....

Have you asked the Pediatrician about it?

have you talked 'with' your son about it?
Maybe just see what he says or thinks or feels about it... many times kids say things that we may never have thought of with our "adult logic."

He's 5 now... so I am assuming he is capable of expressing himself. Let him express anything- his fears, concerns, feelings, stresses, problems etc. and just listen without judgment or 'lecturing' as we Moms often fall into.

As you said, it started happening right prior to the birth of your 2nd child and hasn't stopped nor gotten better since then.
Maybe... it is something that just still affects him or stresses him out.
Some kids, feel actual "stress" when they "become" and older child. "Being" and older sibling...is not always easy shoes for a child to fulfill.... because they become MORE expected to 'be' older even if they are not ready etc.

"Regression" in a child (which your son is doing with his pooping), is a signal of some kind of 'stress' in a child.

Perhaps, he needs help to communicate whatever it is that bothers him or whatnot. Sometimes, "boys" don't know how to express themselves and they think they cannot have feelings and have to be 'tough' and 'manly' about it... or a 'big boy' so they don't say anything about their 'feelings.' But it is detrimental because boys need to learn how to express feelings. Or they get pent-up.

I would not do the punishment route. It will not work. And although it is 'embarrassing' for you, I am sure it is for him too... although kids, even if they ARE embarrassed they will 'act' as though it does not phase them.

I would talk with him about it... even perhaps asking him how "you" can help. Kids often have good ideas.
My daughter, when I had my 2nd child, went through bathroom accidents too. It was just that her "life" was not the same and a big change for her. So we provided more comforting/understanding for her. Then it stopped. She felt more "pressure" as a child having a "baby brother" around... she felt "responsible" somehow... which is too much pressure/burden for a child to carry on their little shoulders. Although I thought she understood, I had to tell her that MOMMY is responsible for her baby brother... not her. Even though she is just trying to be caring. She DOES NOT HAVE TO worry about things or him crying etc.

All the best,
Susan

I wish I had the answer for you. I have been struggling with potty training my son as well. He is 4 in a few weeks and we started potty training when he was 2.5. He wasn't ready then and I was already pregnant. Once the baby was born everything changed and I didn't even have the energy to try training again with enough consistency and patience for it to work. I really think the new baby was a big set back and I saw a lot of immature behaviors returning. My son is the opposite of yours in that he poops in the potty pretty reliably but doesn't seem to care or notice if he pees in his pants. The other day I asked him to go try and pee in the potty and no only did he refuse he just peed in a big puddle on the kitchen floor with a smirk on his face. I just wanted to slap that smirk off his face! Of course I didn't but it is so frustrating at times. It is possible he is doing it for attention (you know you son so you may have a better sense of this).

If you have to take him out and he hasn't pooped for the day you could always put him in a pull up (or a Goodnight if he is too big for the pullups). It is kind of a last resort because you are backtracking on the potty training. But if you have just had it with the messy poop accidents it may give you a break to calm down and think of a new approach. I know it won't get him through Kindergarten...but I bet 1 accident in school and the other kids will tease him and he will get the message (not that this is ideal...).

If is probably worth checking with the pediatrician but they may not find any physical cause. If you can do it calmly it is probably worth talking to him (maybe you can get some clues if not a full explanation).

Good luck getting him back on track. You have plenty of company being frustrated on this issue!

K., I completely understand your frustration and embarrassment! Have you tried a scheduled poop time? When my son was about 3.5, we started having him sit and try to poop every night after dinner. I sat on the floor with him and read a book until he was finished. This eliminated the accidents. After a while I stopped sitting with him and reading, but we kept up the scheduled time for about two years. We tried every so often to let him just go when he needed to, and it usually resulted in an accident. After about two years, he was finally ready to give up the scheduled time.

Personally, I would stay away from punishment. I do agree that he is old enough to start cleaning up after himself. It may be messy, and you will probably have to double-check to make sure he did a good job, but it could make the difference.

Good luck!

He's plenty old enough to be made to clean up after himself. If mom is right there, cleaning him up, why would he care about changing the behavior? I have a boy who just turned 6, and if he had continuously pooped his pants, he would've been disciplined and be made to clean up. You can always go in when he's done and wash his hands really good and also use an antibacterial santizer to be sure he's completely cleaned up.

I just came back from parent/teacher conferences with my 5-year-old's pre-kindergarten teacher. I knew that something was going on...his "accidents" at school and at daycare. At first, it was just a wiping issue. I just found out today that he goes in the corner of the classroom, poops with his hand in his pants (maybe trying to push it back in...I don't know), then cries. The kids are beginning to notice because they tell the teacher that "he smells again" and he is sent to change. I, too, had a baby, but she is almost 2 now. He's always complaining how he can't do things himself, but this is horrible. Let me know if you figure anything out. When I ask mine why he does this, he says he doesn't know. He did, however, tell me that the bathroom was in the hallway today. It's not far away...I still don't get it.

Are these just "tracks" on his underwear? If so, he may have a condition called encopresis, where he's holding in poop but some leaks out. We thought our school-aged son was pooping his pants but we learned he was actually just leaking because he held in for too long.

I would say to rule out any conditions like constipation and encopresis. If he can't sense what's happening, there's a medical issue. If he's constipated and the poop just comes when he's desperate, he may benefit from some dietary changes. I can give you more info on that if it turns out to be relevant.

If it turns out to be behavioral and a major regression, then put him back in pull-ups and make him clean up after himself. Take the pressure off him and just let him poop in his pull-up and get around to cleaning up when you can. If he gets tired of it, he'll stop. You do not need to be in stores or at someone else's house and have this happen.

If you can take your own stress and frustration out of the formula (a huge task, I know), you'll be better able to identify what's going on with him. I know there's an expense to pull-ups, but there's an expense to laundry and new underwear too. Doing this now will give you plenty of time to find a solution before he starts kindergarten in the fall.