3 Yo with SERIOUS Separation Anxiety

I mean no disrespect to those suggesting it's the baby on the way, but I have to disagree, especially if you said it started beforehand. I have an almost three-year-old & she started it just a month or two ago. She is an only child & no chance of another one coming. I just chalk it up to one of many phases that will eventually pass. Until then, I am just waiting it out & trying to be as patient as possible and enjoying the extra attention she gives me. Congrats on the new baby!

That must be really stressful for you, I really hope it gets better soon.

I'm wondering more if it is attention seeking rather than anxiety. Was he upset a few times and threw a fit when he wanted you closer and it worked,so he has decided it worked well for him and has just continued it?? I think at this age the kids test the water a lot to see what works and he loves you and wants your attention all the time, so the fits gets him what he wants.(he is a smart boy). Of course I have no idea what the situation really is, just a thought from my experience with my kids.

my suggestion is to give the hugs and kisses before you walk off to do something, tell him you will be back and tell him that he does not need to scream etc, and when he gets upset just ignore it(the best you can) do what you need (maybe something quick at first) and then come back like he never threw the fit and sit down and start playing cars or whatever he likes. If he chases after you, hold out your hand but don't say anything or calmly tell him you do not understand him when he screams(or whatever it is, however if he is screaming to much he won't hear you anyway and the hugs and kisses probably just encourage the negative behavior. but if he talks nicely you can give him the hug or whatever but you will still need to do what you need to do.

Or ask him to follow you while he hops like a rabbit, slither like a snake or anything to distract him from his negative behavior. Or everyone time you walk out of the room, maybe you can have a silly or funny noise you make to him, or he has to make. Especially in the home, you could ask him to play a animal game with you, by listening quietly for the animal noise you will make while you are heading into the other room, like a owl, cow, and see if he can make the same noise back to you. Basically anything that distracts him. Good luck, hope something helps.

You answered your own? It's because your pregnant and your younger sone detects it. I am having the same issue with my soon to be 2 year old. I am 5 weeks along and it started a week ago. She is detecting something and feels mom has something going on. So it is a faze but may last while you are pregnant maybe when he sees an ultrasound or hears something in your belly he may change. I have 4 kids and this happened with all of them there all 2 years appart and some months. I have number 5 on the way and its starting again. I am hopping after she realizes whats in side she will relax. I also have another issue more serious than just the clinging. My daughter has been sleeping in our bed for a long time and I need to get her to stop that too. My husband started that when she was 6 months old instead of settling her and putting back in her bed he brought her to ours. So I am fighting two battle instead of one. Good luck with yours and any advice you can though back greatly appriecated.

My son is 2 1/2 and has always wanted me over Dad. I was off work for 2 weeks and went back this week (I just work part-time in our house and Dad watches him). During the two weeks, it was all about mom... Mom hold me, mom change me etc etc.

Part of it I think is personality and comfort from mom only. Part of it is age and growth I think...

We did have Dad put him to bed anyway even though he wanted me. It usually involved our son screaming for about 2 minutes and then he was fine once I was out of the picture.

I figure all these things are a stage that won't last forever!

LH,

Not only would I use resources to include him in the joy and excitement of the new baby, but I would also try playing separation games with him too.

This article suggests a few games you can play at home.

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer14.htm

Good luck!

-C..

Hi LH,

It could be the new baby, but you said the neediness started before you began discussing it with him. Keep in mind, he could have overheard you and your husband talking about it and you didn't realize.

Have there been any other changes in your home?

I would try to give him some one on one time with you every day. Make sure he has your full attention. Remind him often that Mom will always be there for him. Even if he can't see you.... you are there for him. You could play things like hide and seek to reinforce the idea that even when he can't see you .... you are there for him.

You may also want to start having your husband have special one on one time with your son. You actually leave the house for a short period of time and then son and daddy play fun games, or maybe they leave the house and go do something special.

Just some thoughts. Good luck! This must be difficult, particularly when you are pregnant!

We are going through the exact same thing with my daughter, and she just turned 3 on Sunday...and I'm not pregnant. It us the most annoying/frustrating/exhausting thing ever! I don't have any advice but I'll be watching this to see if anyone else does. Good luck!

I am a preschool teacher and a mother of four grown children. You need to work on this. Leave him in someone's else's care for an hour to start on a regular basis. Do not go back and rescue him. Tell him you will be back and leave. It will be hard for both you and the caregiver, but you must stick to it. It may take several weeks for him to feel comfortable away from you.

HI,
My guess is baby #2 on the way is what's wrong. He's pretty nervous I would think about losing you to that baby. I have read some great answers from other mothers about how they have included their child in the welcoming of the new baby, so I would look for those. I would try to make sure he knows that you want his help with the new baby and that you still love him. Have you read any books to him about the new addition, I would try that. Maybe have him pick out something for the baby etc. I ahve read that the new baby also gives the kids a gift whcih seems nice.
Change is hard for everyone, particularly when you're three.
Hope that helps.
L.

Having three kids myself (grown 30,27 and 25) most toddlers go through this at some point. Love him up, reassure him, be patient and don't talk about the baby alot. He is anticipating being dethroned! In toddler years 5 months is FOREVER! Enjoy your "alone" time with him now. Stepping up to two kids is a real shocker! Congrats on the new baby, have fun!

LH; hello yes my child did this also, around that age, its a phase they go through we called it the mommy phase all they wanted was mom mom mom mom, no one coudl touch him with out him screaming if i was a way from him he would run to me, etc, very loving , very clingy, let him have his little phase he will outgrow it for the most part, but this child also grew up and also became very loving and huggy towards me when older, he is now a teen an still wants a hug from mom, and its just his type of personality , to be loving and caring, its ok, enjoy it whiley ou can, it may pass then you will miss your little guy wanting you , D. s