20 Month Old with New Strange Sleeping Issues

Updated on January 05, 2010
C.B. asks from McKinney, TX
12 answers

My 20 month old daughter transitioned to her toddler bed over 2 months ago and did great (slept from 8pm-7am, napped 2 hours in the afternoon). We are having another baby in October, hence the early transition to her bed. For the last few weeks, she has been waking multiple times each night crying, and she comes into our room. I walk her back to her bed, and generally she goes back to sleep. However, she's only crying more and more and not wanting to go back to sleep. She's doing poorly with naps too, generally waking after 1 hour and crying so much I give up and just let her be up. I know she's not getting adequate sleep at all. Any ideas??? I'm up for all advice! I've tried rocking her, singing to her, being stern with her, ignoring the crying, reading, music, etc. She'll cry often for 1 hour after her short nap. I know she's exhausted. Plus I am! And I was hoping to get decent sleep these last weeks before I have a newborn in the house again!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all so much for your advice. It is really very comforting to know that this has happened to other kiddos and parents too. We moved the gate to her doorway so she couldn't leave her room during the night. We'll see how tonight goes. I tried it at her nap, but she still napped only 1 hour and cried afterward. Getting the naps back to normal may take longer, but hopefully the night issue will clear up soon enough. I really appreciate all the input! Its good to have some other ideas/options to try too. I will check her mouth for bulging 2 year molars. It doesn't appear to be allergies, but it could be dreams. We'll see...

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

could it be allergies? my daughter is the same age and has been doing this as of late a bit on and off b/c of allergies (sore throat and caughs)!

Also, I had read that at this age and a friend just told me that her kid started getting nightmares at this age!

Just some ideas-don't know what to do about it though!

T.

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J.J.

answers from Dallas on

Sorry I can't help, but I wanted to tell you that you are not alone. My son is also 20 months and has been a perfect sleeper since he was about 3 months old. Only yesterday morning, I took him to the doctor because he hasn't been sleeping well. He's been refusing to go down and screaming all night long. He screams so much he hyperventilates and loses his breath! Naps are the same way. In our case, he is still in his crib, so I can't blame the toddler bed. Our pedi told me he is just doing this because he is getting smarter and wants to be with us more often. He probably feels sleeping is a waste of time when there is such a big world to explore. He said it is totally normal, and if we can stand it, just let him cry it out. He said no matter what we do, stick to his schedule. Just because he stays up crying an extra 4 hours one night, it doesn't mean he gets to sleep late the next day. I know that doesn't help much, but know it is normal. Good luck and congrats on #2! Hopefully your daughter and my son will both get over this rather annoying stage SOON!

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C.

answers from Dallas on

I am actually having the same problem and discovered his 2 yr molars are coming in (drooling alot and putting his fingers in the back of his mouth). He has run a slight fever since Friday and I've been giving him Motrin) My son is 20 months as well and we just had a baby 6 wks ago so he went to the big boy bed. It is just now that he's been waking in the middle of night crying and I go in there and he'll go back to sleep. His naps are only an hour now as well and he wakes up grumpy and won't go back to sleep. Check to see if you think she's teething.

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

Interestingly we had a similar situation. We transitioned our daughter into a big girl bed at about the same time. She actually did fine the first few weeks then she started waking up crying throughout the night for days and weeks. We couldn't figure out what the problem was. I joked with my friend who has a newborn that our household was getting less sleep then hers. Naps were bad too at that time. Eventually about 2 months later, everything seemed to go back to normal. Our daughter is now 25 months and for the past month or so we have had no sleep problems at all. Naps are now around 2 hours and it's great. i think at that age they have dreams and nightmares. Also, if she is going through any type of growing or learning spurt she will wake up crying because she has a lot going on in her mind and will be restless. It should pass. We went through it and it ended randomly as fast as it started. Just comfort her so she knows she is safe, and it should get back to normal soon. Good Luck.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter had this issue (she's 3 now), but we had a Fisher Price Flutterbye Soother attached to her crib (and then her toddler bed). When she wakes up now, she turns it on, and it plays music and a little "show" on the ceiling (butterflies, birds, bees, sun/moon). She ends up going back to sleep without coming to our room. Only when she was in a lot of pain (molars) did she come to our room. Not sure if it will work for you daughter, but may be worth looking into.

S.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter is almost two now, but we had our second a boy when she was 17 months old. I wanted to move her into a toddler bed so that we would not have to buy another crib. When I spoke with her doctor he said she was probably to young and if she was not climbing out of her crib, then don't move her. If you daughter is now having problems sleeping in the toddler bed she just might not be ready for one yet. I would call the doctor see what they say to do. I would also try putting her crib back together and see if she will sleep better. I know one the new baby came home there are so many changes going on she might really need the comfort of her crib. I didn't really want to buy another crib, but the cost is nothing compaired to having a child who is not sleeping.

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter is has had sleeping issues since she turned 20 months old as well...She used to nap for 2 and a half to 3 hours a day and then go to bed at 8:30 or 9 pm without a fight. The past 3 weeks she won't nap daytime and she's up till 10 or 12 at night fighting her sleep, she's just exhausted and so am I!!! I have no idea what to do and I too pray this passes soon!

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A.T.

answers from Dallas on

When my second daughter was born, i felt no connection to her, but my husband did. But he worked nights, so I was stuck with my own child that couldn't stand me and cried most of the time until he got home at 7 in the morning. So what he would do is as soon as he got home, he would shower and put on a t-shirt and wear it until he went to work. Leave the shirt with me and when I went to put her to sleep at night I would make sure the shirt was right next to her nose, with breathing room of course. Or if she slept with me I would sleep in the shirt that he wore, because it smelled like him. I know this sounds crazy, but it worked. My third child, a boy also went thru a stage where he wouldn't sleep unless Dad was holding him and we just started wrapping him in his dads shirts so my husband could get rest while he was at home and wouldn't have to hold him all the time. My son is three now. Try it. Your daughter probably wants the closeness. We still do this sometimes, when they are sick and have trouble sleeping. I guess the smell of the parent soothes them. As soon as she falls asleep go get one of your shirts that you wore during the day and just put it close to her where she can smell it. Hope it works. Sure did for us.

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C.K.

answers from Dallas on

We are having the exact same problem too - same age, 20 months. Our son is still in his crib and goes down nice, but every night in the middle of the night he wakes up screaming, out of breath and the only thing that consoles him is to be in bed with us. We now take him into the guest room so it at least is a different bed. I think that some of the problem might be that he is getting his two-year molars. A little early, but every kid is different in terms of when they get teeth. His gums do look swollen, so we are hoping this is it and it will obviously end soon!! Maybe your kids' molars are coming in too? good luck ...

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

My son was moved to his toddler bed when he was 2 and was fine for a few weeks then started getting up in the middle of the night and crying and fighting going down at bed time. We were also expecting a new baby soon and needed the crib so it was no turning back for us. He climbed over the gate I tried putting in front of his door, we did not want him sleeping in our bed, and he wouldn't sleep on our floor next to our bed or with us in his room. I thought I switched him early enough to give him time to adjust, 3mo, but he was horrible till the baby came and now that the baby is almost 4mo he has gotten better. All I can tell ya is that we picked one plan we were comfortable with and stuck to it. Every time he got up we just walked him back to his room, no discussion, not in a mean way, just quiet and calm. Now 6mo later he is finally sleeping through the night again most nights and not fighting going to bed. Pedi said he knows he can get out of his bed so he does. I tried to find other problems that could have caused it to happen and really couldn't pin one down. He would wake up tired and want to nap early b/c of it. He also started getting up really early in the morning on top of it all. So I gave up trying to find a cause and just dealt with it all, now it's almost over and I am so glad. Hang in there it really does suck and I was exhausted most days, it's hard goin when it's happening but it will pass, just be consistant in all that you do. I think mine jut realized that he doesn't have any other choices but his bed and finally gave up.

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J.F.

answers from Dallas on

My 20 month old is doing the same thing! We also just transitioned him to a toddler bed. I don't know how to make it better. I think he's getting up because things are different and now he can get up. We did put a baby gate across his door to keep him from wondering in the middle of the night. This has helped some. He still wakes up and cries but after we go put him back down he knows he can't leave his room and eventually climbs in bed and goes to sleep. Please let me know if you figure out something that works =)

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I tried doing the exact same thing with my son a few months ago b/c I was fixing to have a newborn in the hosue also. I just decided to keep him in a crib b/c he was doing the same thing, waking up crying and not wanting to go back to sleep. I thought it would be the best way for us both to continue to get adequate sleep before the baby gets here was to just put him back in his crib. I will soon try again to put him back in a toddler bed.

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