2 Year Old Sleep Issues

You need to go back to putting him in the crib at his sleeping time and holding your ground.

If you being in the dominant position and your child in the submissive position is considered by you a "punishment situation", your going to have a hard, long run of parenthood. You should re-think this.

The natural order of things is that you get to call the shots being that you are the mature one and know what is best for your child. You have been put in an authority position over that child by God himself. God did that because he knows the Child's brain isn't capable of making sound judgement calls! If you know that a nap is what's best for the child, then hold him to what he needs to do. It has nothing to do with punishment, it has to do with love. Do you love him enough to do what is best for him, what will be healthy for him, what will help him in the long run, even if he might not "like" it or "feel" like it at the moment? If you design your parenting on making him "feel good", you are missing the idea of what a parent was designed to be and you are setting your self and your child up for failure.

I GUARANTEE you that the more you hold your ground, the more respect your child will have for you.
Don't think you will be able to tighten anything up as they get older, either. It actually works the other way around. Start out with a tight belt, and loosen it up as they grow up and have shown that they have matured enough to be ready for more "responsibility" and decision making.

God Bless,
Gail

I would stay firm with him. At this age their long term memory is developing rapidly. Don't start anything that may create a monster down the line. With my son, 8:00 was bed time, that meant he had to be physically in his bed. It was up to him if he wanted to go to sleep, lay quietly, kick & scream, or play quietly with one safe toy. He is now 4 and we have no trouble at all at bed time.
Within the next 6 months or so, your son may start "need a drink", etc. I had my son get a drink when we brushed his teeth, then did not honor any requests after "Amen". I would tell him that the human body can last for a day or two without water, he could make it until morning.
Next year's excuse will probably be needing to go to the bathroom. We allow one trip to the bathroom for two minutes, then back to bed. He then has to wait an hour before he can take another two minutes. He is always asleep by that time, but the hour time limit allows him to freely get up in the middle of the night if need be.
This is probably more advice than you needed at the time, but I figure it is better to get advice before you need it, that way you have a plan when the time comes since these little guys come up with something new on a daily basis.
Enjoy these next two years. They can be a hoot!
M.

It is normal. It is a way of asserting independence. It's all part of being 2. You will find they start asserting themselves in sooooo many ways. They will say they want something and then you give it to them and they don't want it any more. Then you take it back and they want it again. There is no rhyme or reason to their antics other than learning autonomy. I remember fighting the going to bed issue well into grade school. I would suggest trying out different nightlights though just to be sure one isn't producing too many shadows or that one isn't giving enough light for him to see if he wakes up at night. Be sure to have the exact same bedtime routine every night. My son does better when we start warnings. At 45 min before bedtime we say it will be night night soon. At a half an hour before bed we say he has 5 more minutes until story time. Then at 15 min before bedtime we do stories and it is off to bed immediately after that. Some nights are ok and some he fights it more. We do let him cry up to 1/2 hr. if necessary. Usually he will fall asleep before then. Also, for awhile my son started "wanting a drink" when he got into bed. A stall tactic. We solved it by giving him a drink during storytime. He gets no drinks after that -period. After a few times he got it. He doesn't ask for anymore water after storytime. We are just waiting for the next stall tactic to surface.....

Is he ready for a toddler bed? Maybe the allure of the "big boy bed" would get him to stay in bed (then again, maybe not - you could test it out by putting his mattress on the floor for naptime?)

No matter what the solution, I think catering to his behavior is probably going to be counter-productive. 2 year olds are famous for learning the fine art of manipulation - I'm not saying you should not try and figure out what his issue is, but beware of your son thinking up stuff he can fight you on. It will just get worse! =) (Spoken like a mommy who has been through this a couple of times!)

Some things that have worked in our house to combat bedtime issues have been one or several of the following, at different times: let the child pick his own pajamas, get a night light, put on soft music for bedtime, read a bedtime story to the child as they lay still in their bed, sleep with a special stuffed animal, give the child "fairy dust" to help them have sweet dreams (this is a magical substance that can be found in Mommy or Daddy's pocket that gets sprinkled over the child's head at bedtime), and if all else fails, some kids just need a good cry in order to settle down sometimes.

Being 2 is tough, but you can make it easier for him by taking this out of his hands and taking charge - let him know you expect that he will lay down in his bed and sleep (using whatever method you think will work) and he just might surprise you by cooperating. Good luck, 2 year olds are tricky little creatures!

He might just be annoyed that he is being put to bed an hour early!! Some children are more sensitive to the light and have a sort of inner clock they check their routines by. I was a nanny to a little boy who would look outside and see it was dark and start to cry because his parents weren't back yet just after the time change in the fall. Remember the delightful Robert Louis Stevenson poem," In Winter I get up at night and dress by yellow candlelight. In summer quite the other way, I have to go to bed by day!" It is one reason I wish we would do away with time changes and just change our routines world wide...Children are most confused by the sudden changes. It will pass with your little boy. Start showing him the clock even tho it is far too early to start learning to tell time. And maybe let him stay up a bit longer as a transition...

My daughter is 18 months old and she did the same thing. She used to sleep around 7pm or so, right after bath time. But after the time change, she refused to go to sleep as well, even after we waited until 8pm for her to go to sleep. One night, I lie down on the floor near her crib, I had her cuddle with me on the floor and sang nursery rhymes for about 10 minutes. She fell asleep and I was able to move her to her crib. After two nights of cuddling, she went back to her normal schedule. We also kept her night light and soothing music on until she was in deeper sleep. We would wait until it gets dark before we even attempt to put her in bed. (around 8pm)

This worked for us I don't know it would for your son. But I guess it's worth a try. I hope it works out.

It's so hard when you have sleep problems! I tend to go back to the basics when we have sleep problems, especially at this age. Make sure you have a good bedtime routine. I always read 2 books to my son. Before I start the second book I always say, "one more book and then ni ni". He's not always happy about it, but it does give him a warning. Also, I read him board books and allow him to go to bed with the book if that's what he wants.

Perhaps it's time to move him to a toddler bed. My Son Loved his "big boy bed" at that age. they make them for just that age, and with a new arrival coming, wont you need yur crib back? Best of luck :)

Hi A.,

Follow Minta's advice to the letter!

Blessings....

I found a similar situation when we experienced the first time change when my son was almost a year old. It took me a while to figure it out, but once we knew the time change was affecting him we were able to black out his window until I could get some dark curtains. I temporarily used poster board and packing tape to cover up most of the window. I then went on a mission to find material that would work. I ended up using a lighter color on one side (so it wouldn't fade from the sunshine) and a dark green on the other. I also found some cute material for the bottom edge to make it longer so the sunlight wouldn't peek through there too. My mom sewed two panels and a valance for the rod at the top and it WORKED. That was a year ago and it continues to work like a charm to help create a dark room that signals it's nighttime. I highly recommend it! I can't sleep in a bright room either, so check and see how bright the room is at bedtime and go from there. The darker, the better. All the best to you!

hey A. - poor mama!!! no sleep is aweful, something we're recovering from ever since our babes were tiny!!!
the other moms gave good advice for getting him sleeping while it's still light, etc. but i also wanted to second/support minta's advice... you must be consistant and not change your routine for getting him in bed - children naturally test their boundaries to make sure they're still there and altering his routine (eg you've stopped letting him cry it out) isn't always the best thing to do - consistancy and compassionate firmness is what has worked for my family :)
i'm sure you'll do great, you've gotten great advice to figure out something that works for you and your family -
good luck and good sleep!
smiles,
S.

I think a toddler bed is the way to go. My son starting flipping out as well, he's 27 months now, and it happened about a month ago. We thought it was related to a nightmare he had. But, as soon as we put the crib away, put the mattress on the floor -- he was fine!! Although, he started saying "ouchie" (because he had been sleeping on an air mattress with me in his room on the floor, when we were trying to get him to sleep in his room and in his bed), so we went to Target and bought a mattress pad, cut it down to size, and that worked!! We did that for about a month. Then we bought a toddler bed off Craigslist, and he loves it!!!

Also, with the time change, it's not fair for us to expect them to be ready for bed, when thier bodies "know" it's too early. Listen, in general, I'm firm and consistent. But why stress my kid out un-neccesarily? When the time changes, we gradually get him used to the new time. If bed time was 8:30pm, and now, it feels an hour earlier. . .the first night we put him to bed 9:15. . .second night at 9:00. . .8:45pm. . .and then 8:30pm. It seems to work. There isn't much fuss. :0)

By the way, I thought the response below from "Gail B." was a little harsh. I agree with you, in being cautious, and finding out what the problem is before making bed feel like a "punishment", when there is something wrong. We should listen to our kids. Sometimes they are trying to communicate something to us rather than just being, what looks like, disobedience (I'm not preaching about being a "softy"). Besides the fact that your 2 year old (and mine) had previously been such good sleepers and it's hard to lose that by forcing them in thier bed, hearing them flipping out for hours as you try to get them comfortable in thier bed again.. Try the mattress on the floor and then a toddler bed. My bet is, that will work.

God Bless.

"If you are not praying for your children every day, you are leaving thier lives to chance" . . .Stormie Omartian

I wonder if it might be time to transition him out of the crib? My son started flipping out every time I put him in his crib and we were having a terrible time getting him to sleep through the night. When he was 18 months old we spent the night at my mom's and he slept on a twin mattress on the floor, and suddenly slept 9 hours straight. So we turned his crib into a toddler bed and he has done much, much better ever since. He was excited about being in a "big boy" bed and was much happier not feeling like he was caged in. He doesn't climb out of it either, he still waits for me to come get him which is nice. I agree about not wanting the crib to be a place of punishment. I hope you get it figured out soon!

You got some great advice so far! I wanted to add that he may be starting to sense that change is coming. I have four friends who recently had their second child and all of them had sudden bedtime battles with their children around the time they hit their third trimester. Try to give him some extra attention in the day but stay firm with him at night. Good Luck!

Hi A.,
Buy the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth for all sleep related questions. I have used his advice since my daughter was born and at 3 1/2 she is a great sleeper. I still have to let her "CIO" on occasion, usually around a developmental milestone. The time change is always hard to adjust to, especially for kids. Two things that are very important for quality, restorative sleep are a nap by 1pm and an early bedtime around 6-6:30pm. My daughter doesn't nap anymore but goes to sleep by 6:30pm and wakes at 6:30-7am without waking. If you read the book, you will learn about the natural circadian rhythms and how important it is that a child's sleep be during those periods. Not only for good rest but for most development. Yes, the early bedtime interferes with some activities but it isn't forever and SO worth it. Email me if you want more info.
Sincerely,
L.

I have the same problem. My son has just turned 2 and he is behaving exactly like your son. I have tried everything but he just refuses to go to bed. He always was a great sleeper and easy to put to sleep. I know I must stand my ground but if he keeps getting off his bed and throwing tantrums when I want to pick him up and put him back on his bed then what? You think it would pass, but how long should you stand your ground? It carried on for almost 2 hours last night and still no sleep. I would also appreciate any one who has tips because I really need the help.