16 Month Old with Newly Developed Seperation Anxiety - Help!

Greetings K.,
Congradulations on the new baby. It will be hard at times but I promise that you will all be alright.
I have 5 children and found that each got to a point that they fell apart when apart from me even if only in another room. The best you can do is constantly tell your little one you are there, and that your love is always there. She will get past this in time and move onto another stage of growth. She just needs the security of your family and the boundries you set. Enjoy your parenthood adventures. Nana Glenda

Sometimes when your pregnant your child can get really clingy. I know it happened with my son and some of my friends. It's usually just a stage. Good luck!

You need to not give in to her anxiety, but calmly remind her that you will be back. Let the person who is in charge of her while you are gone handle calming her down after you leave. They can also calmly remind her you're coming back and then try to distract her with other activities. Is there anything you can think of that has happened to make her feel less secure? Sometimes a child senses when a new sibling is expected and this in itself creates some anxiety. Remember, you are going to have to be away from her for an extended time when the new baby is born so you want to work on getting her over this newfound anxiety before that time if possible. Make your separations from her as short as possible for a while until she gets on a more even keel with it again. This sort of behavior usually tends to be short lived as long as you don't make too big an issue of it.

ah..yes...this is my oldest!....Whenever you leave....just leave, do not "egg" it on as my husband would say. Do a quick goodby and then just leave OR when it did get really bad I would leave when she was in another room. Your daughter is going to have to learn that going into hysterics is not going to keep you there and those watching her should not pamper her....this is a power game....they probably need to place her in a safe spot, like bed or room for her to cry it out .....this is kind of like the same scenario as when our kiddos would cry in bed when it was time to go to sleep when they were babies....of course I ran to mine and rocked them to sleep..but in the end, you have to teach them to self soothe so that they can go to sleep on their own.....Your daughter is going to have to learn to self soothe when you leave to do errands.

For her being less social....get into a mommy playgroup....I started my oldest at 2 years....she has her introverted ways...but she has really come a long way and I do believe being in a playgroup for 5 years has helped tremendously with different playmate, mommy friends as well as going to new places.

I belong to a group in Rancho Cordova through meetup.com. There are tons of great mommy groups around Sacramento on meetup.com.....There are Moms, Stay at Home Moms, Work at Home Moms and Working Moms Playgroups...all you do is enter your zip code and select what group you want to look for and will give you the nearest by you.

You are more than welcome to join mine, we do our activies mostly around our area and outside of it as well....if you are in Elk Grove there are a couple good mom groups that my friend started there....Roseville has some good ones too....I have friends in the Citrus Heights ones..and there are a couple in El Dorado Hills....there are more too...

Good luck and be strong!~

Bests~

Over the Christams holiday my 15 month old daughter started having seperation anxiety. She wouldn't go to anybody. A couple of friends of mine have been helping me ease her through this. When they stop in to say hi we play a game. pass back. Like an air plane I fly her into their arms ,they then fly her back to me. Each time we do it she has gotten less upset an now has started leaning towards them. They then increase their hold time and interact with her a little longer before passing her back. I think this has reasured her that I am not always going to leave her just because someone else is in the room. I would play this game with your family members. We took this very slowly and never forced it. Now a couple of weeks later and she is much more relaxed and a friend even babysat her the other night and she never cried till I came back. Good luck

Seems to me you have a double whammy! 16 months is a key age for separration anxiety, often reserved just for mommy... Also, new baby anxiety can be expressed the same way. Yikes! Practice informing your child that you will be going to do this or that errand soon and that daddy will be staying with them, a little while before you have to go. Then, when it is time, give a quick, easy bye and hug, nothing extended or dramatic, then go on a quick trip. Come home, give hugs, say i missed you, what did you do that was fun while I was gone? ( Daddy needs to engage in distracting activity while you are gone, make mommy a picture, put on a fun movie, go for treasure hunt, build a fort...) Taking the mystery out of why mommy is leaving, and keeping goodbyes short and returns fun and engaging will help reassure :)