6 Month Old Crying Fits

My daughter was the exact same way, it was awful! She wanted nothing to do with the standard solutions, It was difficult to even take a shower. Eventually I had to get over my problems with her fits for putting her down. I am a live in for a boys home and the laundry was not exactly going to get down by itself. I used a sling for her when appropriate and not dangerous (chemical cleaning, cooking) and thankfully she did grow out of it.....Like after a year.......Good luck

I am having the same problem. My daughter is 7 months old and carries on in the same way if i put her down to do something. I learned if there is nothing wrong with her, she is fed,changed and nothing wrong, i let her cry for a few minutes. other wise i will get nothing done if i dont put her down. So i let her cry and when she realizes im not gonna pick her up, she carries on with what she was doing before i walked away. it takes her a few minutes. but i come back and make silly faces to make her laugh, that also helps, because then she forgets why she was crying, and if i play a game as i am doing it like "peek a boo" she thinks were playing a game. those are some things i have found that worked in that situation

C.,

It's been a while since my son was that age--about 17 1/2 years. But he loved sitting in his baby swing. I'd wind it up and do what I needed to--with the swing placed in the same room I was in.

Good luck.

Hi C.,

She will grow out of it. It's really just that she wants your attention and wants to be around her mommy. I have a couple of suggestions on how you can get your work done and maybe satisfy her needs as well. I did two things at that age. One thing you can do is carry her in a snuggle (or baby tummy pack pack) while doing light chores. The second is to bring her in the room that you are cleaning at the moment (if she does play with toys as long as your near her then just put her on the floor with some toys, or you can put her in a bouncer). These seems to make my baby happy, because she was close to me, yet what I was doing was amusing her as well. I also found it fun because I would talk to my baby and tell her what I was doing. I dont know whether it helped or not but she is pretty good at age 3 now liking to help with chores and stuff, pretend play cooking and cleaning as well.

Hope that helps a lil,
D.

sounds like you have an "intense" or "high need" baby girl! my younger niece was just this way. i've been lucky- my own daughter prefers my company but will tolerate her own for up to 20 or 30 mins at a time, so i can shower or do laundry. not all the time of course- we've had many days where if i so much as hint that i'm going to put her down, she screams! but my younger niece took it to a whole new level. if she was ever, and i mean EVER, out of my sister's arms, she screamed and cried so passionately that she would throw up! she was like this until a little after her first birthday i'm sorry to say, but then there was a total shift in her development and she became more independent. she is now 2, and totally happy on her own and happy to be left with other family members and friends for visits. it won't last forever! your baby is telling you she needs you a lot right now, and it's a temporary thing. but you have needs too! you need to shower, go to the bathroom, eat, sleep, run errands and do house things (laundry, dishes, etc.). as a SAHM of a 10-month-old, i totally know how life must be right now. i FULLY endorse the pp's suggestion of wearing your baby, either in a bjorn, snuggli, sling, mei tai, moby wrap, etc. google "baby wearing" and you'll get tons of ideas and advice. when my daughter is having a hard day, i can wear her on my back and still get things done around the house. of course, if it's shower time or bathroom time, sometimes i have to let her cry. even as an AP mom, i think that's legit. if your daughter is fed, dry, rested, and comfortable, and her only complaint is that you're not holding her (while that's totally understandable for a 6-month-old) then i think it's ok to let her cry for 20 mins while you shower, or 5 mins while you pee, etc. it's hard not to feel awful about it, but i firmly believe that mom's basic needs of food, bathing, and bodily functions need to be respected. of course, sleep is another matter! ;-) good luck. this phase will pass. contrary to some old-school advice you may hear, doing cry-it-out with this kind of baby (whether at night or for nap time) will only make them clingier, not more independent. hold her and fulfill her need for closeness as much as you can within reasonable limits (aka showers and food and bathroom breaks) and soon she'll be striking out on her own and feel secure while doing so. if i may recommend something you may not have thought of, my sister found that when she started sleeping with her daughter in the family bed, she became more secure and less clingy during the day, because she was getting lots of snuggling and cuddles during the night. you might try it and see if it makes a difference. good luck! i watched my sister go through it so i TOTALLY empathize with you!

S.

27-year-old first time SAHM of sophia, 10 months
auntie and frequent care-giver to two lovely nieces, 5 and 2.

Hi C.,
I went through the same thing with my oldest daughter. Everyone has their own method, but what I did was one of the hardest things I could do at the time. I put her down and just let her cry. I closed the door to the room and turned on the baby monitor. It's very hard because you are a new mom and the first thing you want to do is go and get your baby. It hurt me that she was crying but she feel asleep and after that it made it easier to put her down. Keep the mirror toy in the crib if it has music even better. it will take some time but don't worry not much. Right now she just discovered that if she cries mommy is going to be there. well good luck and I hope I helped you in any way.
N.

Hello, C.

I have the same problem with my 1yr. old son... I thought things were supposed to get easier but instead it seems as if it is getting harder. I am a SAHM and I spend the day pretty much alone with my son All Day, Every Fay and it seems as if his Seperation Anxiety gets worse daily. I can't even put my son down, or stand up while we are sitting down... practically anytime I'm about to walk out of a room or something he cries, cries, and cries some more. I have tried the Cry-it-out method, but it seems to make matters worse, and the crying doesn't stop. He has cried for 5-6hrs. at a time, (it's unbeleivable he won't even fall asleep. It gets worse if I stay in sight.

We have such a better and less tiring day if I just stay by him and not do much of my other duties. I am lucky if I am to sit him in his high chair right next to me. I have to stay in sight though. I don't know what to do anymore either. He cries if he doesn't sleep with us in the bed, and will not go to sleep if I don't breastfeed him. I tried not breastfeeding him at night once, and boy it was a rough night. He slept like 2hrs.

I just wanted to let you know that there are other moms sturggling with the same problem, although with my son it started at around 11mos. Good Luck and if you find a solution that works please let me know!

Best Wishes,
B.

I am a daycare provider and in my care I have a 8 month old who did the same thing. You basically run to you daughter because you probably don't like to hear her cry, but trust when I say its -k-. At times it is alright to let her cry. The more you let her play on the floor to explore her environment she will get interested in other things. She will not mind when you leave her sight for a couple of minutes. Same thing goes for the time you put her down at nap time or bed time. She will cry but eventually she will stop after5-10 minutes. Try using her play yard or crib only for nap/bed time so she does not confuse this time with "I'll be right back" time. If she still has the crying fits you might like to try playing peek-a-boo with her. This will help her learn that mommy leaves for a little while but you will be back, also helps with separation anxiety.

Dear C.,

Yep, she will grow out of it. You need to get used to listening to crying. That is what babies do, they cry. If you let her control you now, what are you going to do when she can walk and talk and be a teenager? Prepare for a peaceful future, listen to her cry, and monitor her crying to see if she needs something. Talk soothingly, and don't pick her up right away. It will be o.k. My great grandchildren were true cry babies, and they are the best in the world. Sometimes they would cry at the same times, for different reasons. Woe is me ! Stay near by and listen for any problems.
Hopefully, C. N.

If my baby girl shrieks when I lay her on her back, but is ok in an upright position, it's usually gas. Sometimes it takes 15-20 minutes for that stubborn burp to work its way out but when it does she's usually fine when I set her down again. If it was a traumatic burp it may take a few more minutes of love before she’ll relax enough to lie down.

Her digestive system is still growing and can cause issues when just a month ago she was fine. If you breast feed, last month your diet could have been a little different than it is now and something you ate could be giving her indigestion. Some babies get a little acid reflux when you lay them flat as their sphincter muscles are still figuring out what it's all about and may not close all the way letting a bit of acid up the ol' pipe. That would tick anyone off!

My milk never came in so my daughter is formula fed. When I changed her brand at about 6 months she got really burpy and sometimes those burps would develop 45 minutes to an hour after a feeding!

To add insult to injury your baby girl could also be starting to teethe. Check her gums for swelling. Teething can cause a slight fever, swollen gums INCREDIBLE fussiness, drooling the contents of the great lakes in about 30 minutes and loose poops.

Just take a deep breath and say, "This too shall pass."

Obviously it's up to you on what you decide to do.....I find that some moms are not okay with letting their kid cry for extended periods of time and some are. The whole "self soothe" issue is debatable as to when you should start to encourage it. Your girl is still in an infant stage where are her needs and worries are all conveyed to you by crying. Each child reaches a stage where they understand that their actions have consequences and you have to start paying closer attention to whether the crying is for a valid reason or a start of a tantrum.
If you want to get stuff done and hold your child, that also is an option. My sister uses a snugli baby carrier during her daily tasks and will put her baby in front or in back depending what she's working on (yes, she puts it on herself both front and back facing).
Some kids can be distracted and giving them a toy or sitting them in an activity seat will work...others know it's a ploy to keep them at bay and they will insist upon what they want. Some kids are naturally more independant and don't need constant attention. Those kids that do need the attention, there is generally no getting them to calm down unles you hold them. I think holding your kid over letting them work themselves into a vomit fit is preferable...but that's just me.

Don't think you're spoiling your child by holding them...but if the snugli option doesn't work and you just can't take holding the baby anymore, and an activity seat or toys won't shake her determination...then let her cry it out until you're done with your task and don't feel guilty, cause you tried everything already.

Hello C.,
My daughter is nearly 17, however, I ran a daycare for 7 years. If you have checked the list, and you child is fine. Meaning, diaper, hungary, sick, gas...etc... and it's none of those. She's old enough to figure out that if she crys long enough you'll pick her up.. well, of course, that is what she wants. You can't possibly hold her 24/7. It's time for training. Let her cry for 15 minutes. IF she is still crying, sit next to her, and pat her, play with toys, play music (soothing), then let her be again. She will eventually figure out, that you mean business. If you don't train this early, and consistantly, you will be doing her a disservice. She needs to be able to play on her own. If you are always holding her, she won't learn that skill.

There is a lot of documentation on this... do some research.. Good luck. It doesn't take long.
J.

she will grow out of it! just try to stay relaxed, it will help you cope!

Whatever you do do not pick her up. I have a daycare and believe me if the baby is fed, changed, and not teething and instantly stops crying after you pick her up leave her in her bed. Kids needs to learn how to sooth themselves and if you are always picking her up she can not learn to self-soothe. it will take at least a week of screaming terror but you have to do it! Reassure her that she is ok touch her head or give her a hug or kiss but don't pick her up.tell her you go to sleep now mommy will come back and get you after your nap... Hope this helps.
K. S. Fontana, CA

our daughter did not want to be put down almost ever from birth until 6 months, and even after that she was 'in arms' most of the time. she basically lived in our moby wrap or ergo carrier for the first year. as she became more able to sit on her own and play with things, then crawl, then walk, she wanted to be down on her own more and more. i say hold your daughter now, and she'll grow out of it soon enough.

It will eventually pass as long as you remeber to sometimes just walk away. If she has been fed and is dry, she shouldn't have a problem. It's okay if she's a bit fussy because she wants to be held. The problem is, if you've consistently been picking her up for six months, it will take a while to get her to understand that she needs to soothe herself. My daughter was like that till I stopped all the holding. I had gotten to the point where it was driving me nuts. I couldn't even go to the bathroom without her crying. I finally decided to take my mother's advice and put her down. I bought one of those sit upright chairs with the lights and sounds. I found out that as long as she could see me, she'd sit in it and enjoy the music, lights, and vibrations on her bottom. I took that thing everywhere. Now that she's 1, we have the "mommy hold me" syndrome every once in a while and instead of picking her up i tell her to give me her hand and we walk.

Just a suggestion