13 Month Old Will Not Listen

yes a 13 month old will not understand the consequences yet. And his verbal communication and cognitive skills are not well developed to understand - mom doesn't want me to do it .. i better not do it.

So at this age, it's recommended by pediatricians to remove the tempting objects or put them in rooms that have closed doors... or bolt them to the wall. There are safety harnesses that you can buy at Babies R Us in the child safety section -- you should bolt to the wall all things that he can climb or pull down on top of him.... they recommended bolting bookcases, and all heavy furniture and tv stands).

D.,
I have a 3-yr old red-headed little girl and I have BEEN THERE! I am still there, actually. I wake up every day knowing to expect the unexpected. Once you surrender to their development, you won't get as frustrated. They'll still surprise you with their curiosity, but you won't be so caught off guard/astonished. The kids aren't out to make you day harder. They are just doing waht kids do. HOWEVER, I do think, to some extent, these little testers know what they are doing. They want to get attention and they are naturally curious. I don't think they have any idea how dangerous their behavior can be or how crazy they are making us. You have heard some of this before, but, somehow, bolt those pieces to the wall or remove them altogether. My friend's 3 yr-old just pulled the clock on himself and has spent the last 3 months in a bodycast. Second, be consistent. It is so hard, but no has to be no and the same reply to the same action ALL THE TIME. Never give in! It helps the kids know their boundaries and you must be the strong one and stick with it. If they get a different answer/reaction to the same behavior, they will keep doing it. BE BORING! Be consistent. Then, he'll move on to something that you've never thought of that will drive you crazy!! ;) And he'll continue this exploration at different levels until he's 4ish/5. Our 3-yr old is really handing it to me lately and I have to take my own advice multiple times of day. BUT, she's normal. Your son is normal, you're normal. It's ok to get frustrated, just try to be patient. Or call me. Boy, do I have stories for you... Stay strong, Mama! And good for you for reaching out to ask for support. ;) J. in Prosper

No offense, but you probably are asking too much! My daughter is 14 months, and we have dubbed her the "tornado" because of the destruction she leaves in her path. It is a time of exploring their world and learning boundaries, so all you can do is teach and be patient. You are correct in attempting to redirect his attention . . . it may not always work, but keeping doing it anyway. And yes, he is daring you! My daughter will look right at me and then slowly go to put something inappropriate in her mouth . . . she is testing my reaction! As for the drawers, you may want to find some temporary latches, similar to what is used for kitchen cabinets. It can be tough, but believe me, they are learning! My daughter starts wagging her finger (my mother-in-law always does this!) and saying "no no no" because she knows she shouldn't be doing it, but then she does it anyway and of course gets mad when we scold her. I try to avoid physical discipline . . . the exception being if she does something hurtful (she has once or twice taken a swing, and once she threw her book and it hit me in the face!).

I asked my pediatrician about this same problem when my son was around a year old. He said that they are able to understand time-outs at around a year. Go buy a noisy wind up timer (found mine at Wal Mart) and the next time he does it, put him in his crib for 1-2 minutes. Set the timer. He will cry and you will have to do this many times but he will finally associate the bad behavior with being separated from you.

Good luck. It took a couple of days of time-outs to get mine to stop.

D.,

you must be kidding right. Listen? what is that to a 13 month old? Remember that is how they learn. This is the age of curiosity. Just make sure that they do not hurt themselves. Everything else is fair game. Maybe they will start to listen when they are 10, No 13, actually, it only gets worse. I just read from a woman the other day who complained that her 4 year old twins do not listen.
Just a little humour. Have a nice day.

A.