12 Year Old Son Wants "My Space" Account

Updated on November 21, 2008
S.S. asks from Hull, GA
43 answers

Hi Moms! I have a 12 year old son who is an awesome person! He makes great grades, stays out of trouble, & loves his family very much. Most importantly, he is a devout Christian who for two years now has been "on fire" for Christ! He even won't "go with" a girl who's not Christian. We are so proud & vey thankful for the way he's doing especially now that he's in middle school & being exposed to so much more than we would want. He came to me last night and said he wants a My Space account. I have heard & seen some bad situations with children having accounts like these. He has a cell phone & uses it to text his friends.I don't want to hold him back socially & him feel like I don't trust him, but I also don't want him to have something that will expose him to even more of what we try so hard to protect our children from. I know that grown adults have these accounts & have heard the awful stories of predators using accounts such as these. What do I do? How have any of you handled it? Is there any such account that you have found to be safer? What age do you feel is appropriate for an account? Any experiences with your pre-teen & this would be greatly appreciated!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

A HUGE thank you to all of the wonderful Moms that responded! I received so much good advice & information regarding Myspace accounts. After prayer, & talking with his Dad, we have decided to let our son wait a couple of years before he starts an account. Also, when we do, it will probably be a Facebook or one of the other networking sites some of you recommended. At that time we will definitely use a lot of the awesome tips you all shared with me. By the way, in addition to researching some of your suggestions, I did look at the deadkidsofmyspace.com & was terrified! Anyone thinking about letting their child begin an account you may want to check it out. Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Augusta on

I have one and dont talk to anyone i dont know in person. If someone sends me something and i dont know them i delete it and dont look at it. If you tell him not to add anyone he doesnt know then it will be a great way for him to talk to his friends.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

My daughter wanted a myspace account. So after much thought I let her set one up with a few ground rules. I picked the password and she is not allowed on it without either her father or I in the room with her and we get to log on at any time, and the page must be private so no one can see it. Once we got it set up and styled the way she liked it she totally lost interest in it. She has not been on it in months and does not care to be on it. I was just something new and different she wanted to try and didn't like it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.W.

answers from Atlanta on

My son had an account for awhile and the most important thing was that my husband and I knew his password. That way, we could get into his account and look over things. My son knew this was a condition up front, and agreed to it. It was never an issue and we never came across anything untoward in his account. The other thing is, my husband and I both have My Space accounts and my son had to add us as friends so we could see his page as a visitor as well. This was important because we made him keep his page set up as private.

I say go for it, but with rules in place ahead of time.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.D.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I have a myspace account and I can tell you first hand that there is a lot for him to get into if he isn't careful. For me, it's an easy way to keep in touch and chat with my friends and family when I don't always have time during the day.
The following are measures I have taken to ensure that I don't get unsolicited e-mails, etc.
1. Make the account private. This will prevent people who are not on his "friends list" from being able to view his page, send him comments, etc.
2. NEVER add someone as a friend that you don't know.
3. NEVER list personally identifiable information about yourself even if your page is private. Never post your school, home address or telephone number, etc.
4. Bear in mind that anything you put on the internet is public information, so don't say things, do things, or post things that you would be embarrassed if someone else saw.

As an added measure, I would encourage you to be in charge of his account password. That way, he can't log on without your knowledge, and you can go to his account to check his activity. Don't be secretive about it, tell him you are doing this for his safety and well being.

Also, myspace provides a set of recommendations for parents about allowing their youth to have an account, and how to protect them. But remember that no amount of security measures can replace your own watchful eye.

Personally, I think twelve is a little young for a myspace account, but maybe that's just me. I have nieces and nephews who have accounts, but their parents supervise all of their on-line activities. Sit your son down and talk to him about his reasons for wanting an account, what he hopes to accomplish with it that he can't do otherwise. Also, talk to him about how he would handle situations he might run into ie: cyber-bullying, seeing adult rated content, being contacted by a stranger, etc. Ask him the questions BEFORE you give him the answers. It should help you determine if he is mature enough to handle the risk.

Hope that helps, good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.H.

answers from Atlanta on

greetings how are you and yours??? I hope this finds you in good health
you and your son can do a myspace page and make it private and only allow those people on page and to join page that are familiar. also he can start his own social network on ning.com okay that is all i have to say. peace

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Savannah on

I have a myspace,For me it's great for me to connect with old high school friends and moms in my area. That said if you are trying to help keep your 12 yr old son pure (yes it is possible and a great goal for him to stive for) I would suggest against it. There are a lot of images that come up when you are looking for graphics to send friends, or new layouts that are pretty racy, not completly pornographic but deff on the road, as you know it does't take much to spark a 12 yo boys lust into a problem. I'm not saying your boy would turn out some crazy porno junky but there is so much sex flashed in little kids faces today.(Lust is the only sin that the bible tells people to run from, not to fight it, why? It's a really h*** o* to fight you are better off getting your self out of or never putting yourself in those situations) I'm proud that he is not interested in girls just remember the last 2 years he was 10 -12 12-14 and older is gonna be a lot more pressure and interest in girls. Help him see why some of these social networks may not be the best thing for him now even face book his friends can send him racy videos and the like. I would suggest you tell him that when he's 18 he can get one if he wants but right now it's your job to help guard his mind and heart. Oh by the way I wouldn't let your daughter get when when she gets older many young girls are exploited and feel the pressure to be sexy and chat with boys for attention. I say the texting and cell phones is a great privilage they have. Please don't take this as I think your children would be the ones to get in trouble but there is real temptation to on those sights.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.F.

answers from Charleston on

Thats great for you that you are so proud of him being christian what saddened me the most was the encouragement of it. Had I "listened" and married that nice Italian Catholic boy I would not be married to the wonderful Jewish man I am today! Its ok to branch out some!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a 13-year old son who has had a myspace account for about a year and a half, my husband, our dogs and I all have accounts as well.

Let him have one and then YOU get one (or if you have a dog, create one for your dog - no I'm not kidding, there's quite an online community of dog owners and you're just looking for a profile that can be 'friends' with your son so you can see what he's up to). Tell him you must have his password and that you will check on what he's doing. If he ever changes the password, he must tell you or you will make him delete his account. When you initially set up the account make sure you set up the privacy settings so that he can only be friends with someone that he knows (they have to enter his e-mail address or last name). Choose the other security settings based on your preference.

Also, b/c Myspace rules actually state you must be 14, he should not post his age or grade and obviously for saftely reasons, not get specific with where he lives. My son does have his school listed in his profile but we've never had any issues because of it (it's a private school that goes from K-12). Most of his friends are kids from school and church and it's a way for them to keep up with each other especially when school is not in session.

Quite honestly, I've seen worse results when searching for the wrong phrase on google than I have on myspace. Myspace & Fracebook allow me to keep up with my son's friends and the kids in our youth group so while it needs to be used with some caution, it's really not terrible like some people make it out to be. I think it's a lot of fun and you'd probably be amazed at the number of friends from HS and college you could find out there and reconnect with too!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.R.

answers from Spartanburg on

Myspace can be a wonderful space for a child if you monitor it carefully. My 12 year old daughter has one. I set her profile to private, so no one can get a message or check her page out unless we add them as a friend. Check his friend requests out everyday. Only add kids he knows.When setting up his account, you can have it to where anyone as to know his last name or E-Mail address to request him as a friend. Do not put any personal information that can be viewed by anyone. Do not put his age at 99 years old. Make him about 63. If you put up a pic of him, make your heading something like"My wonderful grandson" As long as you keep your eye on him, he should have a good experience there.
God Bless,
D.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

I think you probably deep inside know what to do. Allowing internet access to children has to be very restrictive. Just as you are selective with his friends in real life and on his activities and so forth. Internet is a wide open window to good and evil, you are one click away to beautiful images and messages and ALSO one click away to ill images and mesages that impact kids minds forever. Predators are not only those trying to talk you your kids posing as "friends", predators are also those trying to sell body images that are't acccurate, life styles thatt aren't either, predators will spam with sex images every chance they get,they are very creative, and they WILL outsmart any kind of filter or parental control setting...etc. Now, we can't live in constant fear or create a bubble for our kids, but I think we can determine when is THEIR right time, not the time impose by the trend of others. So it is a personal choice.

ALSO I WANTED TO SAY, WHEN PEOPLE POST LINKS TO A WEB SITE HERE PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!! I just went to check that "ENFUEGO" my space website that a lady posted because it sounded attractive and it messed up my computer for a long time, I couldnt get out of it and it acted like a spam coming in and out of the screen with the song playing loud and crazy SO PLEASE DONT DO IT??THE LAST THING WE NEED IS A COMPUTER VIRUS!!!!!

Well S., that goes to tell you, I fell for "an atractive website" and it was very agrivating...
Not everything that shines is gold...

Good luck with your decision and God bless.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.Y.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a 12 yr. old daughter who also wants a MYSPACE acct. We said no. I think there are so many other things out there socially, they can get involved in without having to get a myspace to be in "touch" with people. Now, maybe I am wrong, but we did break down and let her have a facebook acct. I also got a facebook at the same time and I can keep an eye on what goes on with her acct.! Your son sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders (I am trying to steer my children to be like yours!!)(they're good kids!) and it sounds like you can trust him to make wise decisions. I trust my 12 yr. old also, and she hasnt done anything for me to feel otherwise, but it's not her I worry about!! Good luck with your decision!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.C.

answers from Spartanburg on

Sounds like you have an awesome little boy there! You should be proud!! If you allow him (I'm not going to say yay or nay about it) then make sure he keeps his page private. There are a lot of security measures on there to keep unwanteds out. You can make sure people adding him will only be allowed to request it if they know his last name or email address. You may want to sit with him when he gets new friend requests and approve them with him. Or maybe to allow him some freedoms, maybe once a week you and he sit together and go over what he's been up to on Myspace. Of you can have your own page and monitor things that way. Trust is so valuable and this is a good learning age for him. Good luck!! Your boy sounds like he's shaping up to be a great man.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.J.

answers from Atlanta on

S.-

I think I would be hesitant at 12 for a My Space account. That being said, I know a lot of people have them. If you decide to allow one, I would make sure you have certain rules to keep him safe and make sure he keeps talking to you about things. I would also look at some of the safety programs you can put on your computer so that you can monitor what is going on. Not something he needs to know about but something you could check to help keep him safe. You could also check with the police department and/or do some online research to make sure he is aware of the dangers and doesn't give out information to people he doesn't know. Even the most seemingly obscure information can end up letting predators know where you live and/or go to school.

I did hear a valuable piece of advice for computers that I think is great for kids and that is to never allow them to use them in their bedrooms or a non-public part of the house. Aside from people who may be trying to contact them, you never know what they may get curious to look at on the computer and it is a good way to protect your kids. While it is great that he is on the right track right now, I don't think that is something you can take for granted...he will be exposed to more and more as he goes through middle and high school and curiosity can get the most of people even if their intentions are good.

Good Luck,

W.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

i am bad not to read other replies first, so sorry if this is a repeat of previous advice.

i would not recommend doing Myspace yet. Facebook is MUCH better as far as stuff that would concern parents goes. it is alot harder to find the "mature content" available on Facebook - you have to be actively seeking it out pretty much and i rarely run across it on anyone's profile. i am 35 years old and i have had a Myspace account for a few years, but rarely go to it - i get linked to stuff that is very "weird" and scary to me as a grown up. my sister in law put it well when she said she felt "voyeuristic" - it is almost cultish in some ways and you can get pulled in VERY easily! i have lots of friends and family with nice Myspace pages and i keep mine up for the occasional visit, but since i started Facebook last spring and like it so much better i rarely bother with Myspace anymore. and now most of my Myspace friends have started Facebook pages too. I even started a page for my 12 year old son on FB (you are supposed to be 13 for FB and I think it is the same for Myspace) - but i keep an eye on his - he rarely uses it. but we set it up so he could keep in touch with his friends once we moved 2 hours away - our whole youth group from our old church had set up FB pages, so it is easy for him to check in with his old buddies that way. so if he is set on doing something like that, i would really recommend Facebook, but still keep an eye on it. start your own FB account if you want, and be his "friend" and you can see almost everyone he communicates with unless he makes the messages private. your son sounds like a mature responsible Christian boy (mine is too) and once the novelty wears off, he may hardly get on it anymore. there is also lots of Christian stuff he can add, like Daily Bible verse, Pray for You Applications, etc... It is really fun to play around with all the features.

Another thing - don't list his birthday or hometown to keep predators at bay - we've never had an issue, and the only thing people see about my son is his name and our "network" which is usually the largest city near you, which you choose. and make sure he knows to never give out his town, school name, or any other info that could possibly ID him to others.

Best wishes! Amanda

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.W.

answers from Savannah on

I have 4 children, and am also a Criminal Justice Major. Out of all the social networking sites. Myspace is the best hands down when it comes to dealing with privacy. There are so many privacy features that you can set, from who can add you or contact you, to what parts (if any) of the profile can be seen. You can also set pictures, videos, and blogs all to private. They have come along way in the last year in helping to protect not only our kids but for those that have one, our own privacy.

If you decide to change your mind and let your son have one. I would suggest using your e-mail account when you set it up. That way if for some reason he ever changes his password or even tries to change the e-mail address used, you will be notified, or can easily get his password should he change it. Just be up front with him and let him know that you will be checking it, that he is not allowed to change the password or e-mail address, and any friends he wants to add must be approved by you first. Should he not follow the rules you have set, you will delete the account.

Myspace did have a bad rap when it first came out. But they have come a long way in handling privacy issues and making it more "minor" friendly.

I have had an account on just about all of the major social networking sites and Myspace is the only one I have kept and the only one I will allow my children to have. All the other lack privacy and control. Facebook and Myyearbook are probably the worst.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.N.

answers from Savannah on

I have a 13 year old daughter that has a My Space account as well as some of her friends. I admit, I was a little concerned when she first got it because I thought you had to be a certain age. I think some kids lie about their age just to get an account. but if you are a certain age, I think it has limitations but I'm not sure.
On a positive note, it brings out my daughter's creativity. She has learned alot about setting up her "page". She has helped me on many occaisions. You can monitor his account if you are concerned. You can have his password and watch him whenever he's on. With his values, I'm sure he will not be swayed by any negativity, It may even be a plus as he can possibly win souls with his my space page and dedication to Christ.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Columbus on

I also have a son who wanted a MySpace account. I have one so I knew my way around it. I set it up for him and set the rules. I have the password and he is NOT allowed to change it. I made sure he understood that I would check the content on it everynow and then. I also ask who some of his friends are. Especially the questionable ones. As far as online predators you can set the privacy settings high. Meaning people have to ask permission to even view his page and pictures. I was a military brat and love myspace just because I have found so many old friends. My 50 year old mom just set up an account and is hooked. It's great for networking and keeping in touch with old friends. I would recommend playing with his account to become familiar, or perhaps set up your own. We are all Christians and there are alot of christian things you can add to your page to even further spread the word that you are a christian. So it could be a good thing for him and his faith. Good Luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.N.

answers from Spartanburg on

Onn myspace you can set his profile to private! You can also set it to where all his friends, the comments, and messages must be approved before posting to his page! My only suggestion is set it up with him and know his password where you can get on his account at any time you want! Sounds like he is a great kid and deserves a chance! Be the parent and monitor closely! I also suggest having the computer in a public room only... Where you are always walking by and can see what is pulled up on the screne. It is inevitable that he get introduced to the world wide web, why not now where it can be done with your supervision! God bless!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Atlanta on

My Space requires users to be 14 YEARS OLD. There is a reason for this..... Your child should understand rules. This isn't holding him back socially. Children shouldn't be obsessed with computer, but doing more healthy things like we used to do when we were kids!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.P.

answers from Savannah on

S., I am right there with you. At the request of family and against my better judgment, I just set up a facebook page for my 10-year-old. I have already had to delete several applications and correct him about appropriate content and language and warn him against accepting friend requests from people I do not specifically approve. We have a family rule that persons under 18 are not allowed internet privacy. I must have all passwords and the ability to check their e-mails, facebook and myspace pages, etc. They exclude me from access, and their internet access is gone. Of course, I give the 17-year-olds much more leeway. We do have heavy parental controls on all the computers. I did check with our youth leaders and they recommend a program called bsafe. I also use the McAfee controls that come free with Comcast service. As with anything, I think it can be good for your son and your family IF you closely monitor his usage and set appropriate boundaries.
You're note did remind me of our the internet can be good for kids...and your comments about your son reminded me of our church kids. Our youth group is called enfeugo and has its own myspace page. http://www.myspace.com/enfuegofirehouse Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.W.

answers from Columbia on

I've had a myspace account for almost 3 years now, and I just wanted to respond to all of these moms telling you not to let your son have a page. First, you cannot protect your son from everything. You can explain to him the dangers of the internet, monitor him, and trust him to do the right thing. He doesn't need myspace to find bad stuff online. As far as concerns about predators coming after him, you absolutely can make his profile completely private so all people see is his name and picture. You don't have to show your age, location, or anything else you don't want to. You can also block messages from people who aren't your friends. And you can ask people to verify his last name before requesting to be his friend, which would weed out any unwanted friend requests. You've got to let him off his leash eventually, and he sounds like a great kid. Have some faith!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.C.

answers from Atlanta on

How about a Facebook page instead? He can still stay in touch with friends online but it is possible to make the account completely private with only a thumbnail photo & name except to those who he (and you) deem okay to have friend access.

Congrats on raising such a level headed boy! You do not want him to resent this concern but needs to understand how dangerous things can be, especially when all precautions are nto taken.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.M.

answers from Columbia on

Sorry S., but I am going to be straight forward with you. You are waning and that worries me...
Just say NO, you say he is an awesome person , is a Christan, great in school, etc.. How about you do all you can to keep him that way, and that does not include "My Space". There has been proof enough, I would think, that would be sufficient to just say, no. Why allow him to be led into a possibly unsafe situation or his mind be fed unclean things. Once in his mind, it cannot be erased. Think about it, you do have control over this. Maybe you can't control everything when he is not with you, but you can certainly control this. Keep him out of Satan's den. Trusting him is not the issue or his being held back socially, which he won't be. There is much more at stake here.
Just say no! and stick to it. He will listen and understand that you are thinking of his best interests if presented to him in a loving, no discussion way. My space is not a necessary thing for growing up. Good parenting is...

Wish you the best.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.L.

answers from Atlanta on

well first off he isn't old enough for an account you have to be 14, so he would have to lie about. ANd I do not believe kids really need to be on myspace because I am offended if not embrassed by some of the things I see on there. My aunt allows her 10 year old to be on there and it is so embrassing and i just happen to go to his page and all i see if chicks with as?, i am like wow. I know of another 10 year and he has bare chest pics of him on his page. I am like where are these parents because if you allow it I say have the page so that you can periodically check it as well because mysapce can and will be scary. I would just say check it often to make sure that everything is on the up and up

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Charleston on

I have a 13 year old daughter. She was just 12 when we gave her a myspace account. Just like anything eles internet you have to regulate it. I have screen name and password access to her account and any one that wants to be a friend sends the request to my email account and her and I discuss if she knows the person ect. If you have taught them right from wrong you set your parental controls and you monitor it... He will be fine... Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Macon on

Editing... I just quickly checked out a site called
101christianspaces... www.101christianspaces.com At first glance it looks exactly like myspace (I actually thought I had gone there on accident!), but well, I'm sure you will see the difference! Check it out! Good Luck!

Hi S.... I read a lot of the comments here, you've gotten some really good feedback. I have had a myspace account for many years and yes it is true that you can make almost ALL of your information private so that it would be very difficult to near impossible to "find" your son. BUT the pictures that are aloud as avatars on myspace make ME blush, and I'm 37 years old! I can't imagine what a 12 year old (innocent) boy would feel... or maybe I can, and I'm sure you don't want to go there yet! =0) Even if your son doesnt' browse around, if his friends friends have rauchy photos he will be exposed! I also have a Facebook account, and as a mother myself, if I was in your shoes I would check that out first! I would suggest that YOU set up an account for yourself (you'll be surprised how many high school friends you'll find there!) The avatars are much tamer, and it is not as easy to browse through peoples information. You can make everything very private there too. Facebook is not as fun in some aspects, but if he's just wanting a fun communication tool, it may be what you are looking for. Myspace has given it's users the option of designing your own site, colors, fonts, pictures, layouts etc... facebook is not this way, but still has some of the same features. You can do the same silly things like send your friends a "present", "hug", "hit" them with pillows etc... silly fun.

I did a little research and found a great article about christian alternative to myspace - this one kind of jumped out at me... "Social Networking #3: DittyTalk (www.dittytalk.com)

This is another site that is similar to both mypraize and JCFaith. This website is the most similar to MySpace because it allows a lot of customization. Users can customize their profiles with approved music, backgrounds, and graphics. The other websites are a little more limited on what a user can change. This website also has a built-in instant messaging program that allows users to talk to each other easily. DittyTalk is also moderated by both paid staff and volunteers who are working to keep the site clean." Sounds like a good myspace alternative, maybe just for a few years until he is of age. Yes, you have to be 14 to have a myspace account, unless you want to... hummhumm lie about it!

Google - "Christian alternative to myspace kids teens"

Please feel free to message me if you would like!!! Good luck! I don't have time to reread this, so sorry if there's parts that don't make sence! Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.D.

answers from Atlanta on

I feel like that is to your descrestion. You know what type of child you are raising. You know him better than anyone. If you feel like he is responsible enough to have a myspace page let him. Just know... there are plenty of things you can do to monitor his page. They have a kids myspace. Also have the password to the account. That way you check what he is doing and what the other kids are sending him.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi S.,

My 16 year old and my 13 year old have a facebook. My 16 year old came to me and told me about it 2 years ago and at 16 we allowed her to get one. I got one also so I could monitor hers. Her rules were it was to be set to a private account and only Christians could be her "friends." If I ever saw anything inappropriate on it or inappropriate on her friends accounts it would be automatically shutdown. I have seen myspace and can't even stomach what I, as an adult, have seen on it.

She has been very obedient, I have seen nothing inappropriate and many adults from our church also monitor it for their kids and we have come to enjoy it as we fellowship with our denomination all over the world. One of our pastors is even friends on there as he has a college bible study and keeps in touch that way. There are places she is not allowed to go and she is aware of them. I told my younger daughter she could have one at 13 (which is the age allowed) if it worked out okay for Emily. It did and she has been obedient also.

Myspace is not geared towards anything Christlike. Facebook of course is not a Christan website either but it is amenable for us as long as our kids work within their parameters. Go into myspace and look up old friends and see what you find. I don't think you will like what you see.

God bless!

M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.P.

answers from Atlanta on

If I were you I would allow him to get an account however there needs to be guidelines. First, his page needs to be marked private so that only his approved friends can view his page. You need to set up an account as well and have him approve your account so that you can have access to his page and see what people are posting and etc. You need to have his login information so that you can access his profile. You can assure him that you will not log into his account without his first being told or being present but you do need to have this information as his parent. You also need to set up protections on the computer so that he's not accessing web pages or information that you don't want him to. You can also set up a software that tracks every key stroke and shows you pictures and webpages that have been viewed on the computer. This allows you to keep track of what he's doing online. You also need to have the computer in an open area where there is supervision. He has proven himself to be trust worthy and to be a good kid who is commited to Christ and you need to reward him for the good choices he's made and you need to trust him and trust that he'll be responsible while online. You don't have to blindly trust him, which is why you set up those rules and parameters before he gets a myspace page, but show him that you believe he can handle the responsibility and make the right choices while being on myspace.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.R.

answers from Charleston on

You have to be a minimum age of 14 to even have a My Space account. There is a reason behind this. You do not have to have an account to look at other people's pages. I encourage you to look at pages that are out there and become familiar with the content. Your 12 year old is likely to be exposed to a lot of things of suggestive nature that you would not want him to see. Furthermore, if you do allow him to have a page, monitor its content to ensure it does not give personal information that predators could use to contact him. I would also suggest that he gives you his password to the account so you are able to log on and review any messages he receives or what info he is sharing. Just friendly suggestions that I hope help.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

S.--I have a twelve year old as well (and three more after him) ....no cell phone...he does have a Facebook account, and my husband and I also have them--for the purpose of monitoring his....I have gotten a kick out of it. On that site, we are his "friends" and therefore can see anything on his page at all. If he ever blocks us in any way his page is done. My husband checks in with it on a daily basis. We have found a lot of our long lost friends from high school and college.

My son's reason to register for one is that this is how our youth group communicates...But I think the adults have had more fun with it than the kids. I have heard that Facebook is a more controllable situation than My Space. BUT my general feeling is that we cannot control them forever. Let him have it....monitor him. (if you find you cannot with MySpace, I would not allow that one...but do a Facebook...a little compromise never hurt) (Maybe his friends would have both, many kids do)

I want the kids to make good decisions when confronted with poor ones......and they can never do that if they are not given the opportunity to show their maturity.

I hope this is helpful.....really we do have fun with Facebook.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Atlanta on

I would suggest that if you allow your son to have a my space account that he make it private and that you have one also. That way you can be aware of what he is doing and who his friends are. I personally would not allow it for my 12 year old. However, I do understand everyone differs on this subject. I have heard of a Christian book for parents about computer use, my space, etc. I cannot think of the name of it, but I'm sure you could find it at a Christian bookstore. It is a guide to using it safely with parental involvement.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.T.

answers from New London on

As a younger person with my own MySpace account, I say go for it, but I agree with the other moms that you need to have his password, have him set his page up as private, and only add people that he has met *and is friends with* in real life. I am 24 years old, and of the 200 or so friends that I have between MySpace and Facebook, I've never actually met only a handful of them.

Also, to ease your mind a little, I have a feeling that if you let your son have an account, he might be on there a little excessively for a few days, but after a while kids tend to get burnt out there. I think regular use of the site will only be a few-month, passing phase in your son's life.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from Macon on

HAH Good luck! My son opened his own before I knew he had it but... you must be approved before you can receive messages, (Private setting) even me! YOU as a mom should have the password and ability to read what is posted on his space....even to block others you (with him understanding why) feel aren't what he should be reading. Keep the computer in a public room...not in his bedroom.

You and your son need to sit down and go over the pros and cons, go on myspace.com and look at some of the stuff on there- without him as, yes, it can get raunchy. Go over your family rules and ideals, agree that you will have access to his account and that all must be accepted before just random postings come through and that you will have final 'block' power if you see seomthing offensive.

He sounds like a good kid and probably knows you will want to do this anyway. My son has a few friends that are pretty vocal about some things and while he knows what they say is wrong, they are basically good kids. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Stay away from myspace. If he wants to be a good christian than that includes obeying the law. Myspace, I think is supposed to be limited to 15 and up? Not certain, but if you thnk you ant to get into all of it, try facebook.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I think that he sounds responsible enough to have a myspace account. I have one and it is not that bad as much as people say. It helps me keep track of my daughter's account and check up on what she is doing as far as bulletins, comments, friends, etc. It is a way for him to fit in with others, show his individuality by designing his page, etc.

You should definitely teach him not to add anyone he doesn't know, limit his personal information and make his profile private. It is harmless.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

I've got an 8yr old daughter and there are times I feel like she is growing up too fast so I understand your concerns!! Here are some things you can do to protect your son on Myspace-get his password info so you can log into his account and have total access to it, make his profile private that way only pepole marked as his friend can see his profile. Also, make comments have to be approved first before they are posted (I've gotten spam (sexual content) from my friends before when their profiles got hacked!!). You'll be able to delete it or post it for others to read. And I'm also thinking there is something where someone would need some of his info to even send him a friend request as well.

Good luck with a sticky and tough decision!!

S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.

answers from Augusta on

My space is actually fairly safe. Make sure you have his password and set his profile to where he can't recieve messages from people that arent on his my friends list. If you monitor him then just like anything else on the internet it's safe.
and if you actually read the descriptions on that website someone put up there nomyspace.com or whatever not all of those were preditors on myspace and you can bet that the kids they talk about were not monitored by their parents.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Atlanta on

You are very blessed to have such a great son! Good work parents, and way to go God. Have you tried Facebook? It is different than myspace. Look into it. Maybe set up your own account. I like facebook because you can set it up where only your "friends" can view your info. It is much more private than myspace. Let him know that you want to be one of his "friends" on either website and that way you can check in on him and the others that are talking to him. Good luck and be blessed!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.W.

answers from Columbia on

Of course the decision is going to have to be yours and your husbands, but here are a few things if you decide to allow him to have one. You can also get one and be one of his friends so you can see who else is on his friends list. Also his account can be set as private which means no one can see his page unless they are one of his "friends". Also you could set a stipulation that if you allow him to have a page you have to have access to his password at all times. Grant it I am an adult, I have had a page for quite a few years now, it keeps me in touch with friends and family in different parts of the country and world. I believe it is a safe sight when used properly and it sounds like you have a great son and a great relationship. In the end you are the mom, just think, he is coming asking for one...he could have snuck behind your back and done it on his own without you knowing....he sounds like a great kid.Pray about it, God will guide you!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Atlanta on

If you do decide to go with this type of account you can do many things to protect him. You can set up so that your email address is the one that alerts you about post and friend request he receives. Also, know the password and let him know that you will monitor the account because of the people who are out there. You can also make it a private account so only his friends can see the information and you, yourself could join myspace and become one of his "friends". I a myspace account and have not had a problem with it, but I also only accept friends who I know. You see people with 100 friends, but my account only has 40. It can be a great social atmosphere, but with him being 12, I would definitely monitor the activity.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from Augusta on

I have a myspace account. I have had no problems with it. However Myspace it self has set the age to create an account to be 14. My younger sister who just turned 14 last month has had an account for a while and had to lie about her age to make it. There are certain security measures you as a parent can do to make his page safe as far as making it pivate so only his friends can see it. Make it so that the person wanting to be his friend has to know his last name or e-mail to request him as a friend. I really do not thiknk it would be a problem as long as you monitor what he puts on his page. I think it is a great way to keep up with friends. If you need more infor on myspace let me know Hope this helps.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions