12 Month Old Will Not Sleep

I would get a second opinion from another pediatrician who has been in practice for a long time & has a good bedside manner. I wish you all the best - you are doing a great job.

If the crying were simply him being needy, crying it out would have worked by now. Apparently he is trying to tell you something.

Fever, & diarrhea are nothing to mess with. Also, have you consulted with a specialist like a pediatric allergist?

Good luck!

Has reflux been considered? My 2nd child had these same symptoms-and once he got on what ever medicine it was, our loves changed for the better. Good luck, and I hope you get some sleep soon.

Hi,

You may want to keep a diary throughout the day of the schedule he is on, the time you spend with him, his diet, etc. Because you have a 4 month old, your personal and physical schedule has changed and it may be affecting your son's schedule and behavior. Though I'm sure you are doing so, just make sure that you or daddy really give him some quality time, perhaps an hour before bed. Setting up a night time regime is very crucial to sleep patterns for our little ones...eat, bath, play, stories, bed. Or whatever fits your family. Bottom line, he is old enough to realize his time is being shared, that his routine may have been bunked, and he wants a more secure and consistant routine. This is where the diary can help you and you can better schedule your time and ensure his diet is healthy.

Hope this helps,
A.

If your child is screaming at night, something is WRONG. You are doing a great job trying to make little one comfy and there is NOTHING wrong with that!

You have not started any bad habits, and really I would say get a second opinion. Maybe another pedi or something...it sounds like it could be a number of things. I found out my son's gassiness and irritability was due to lactose intolerance and once I eliminated dairy milk from his diet he was such a happy baby.

Also, reflux can be a killer of sound sleep...teething, hunger...so many things.

But, definitely go get another opinion.

Hi D., I am a Sleep Specialist and Parenting Coach. I am not surprised that your problem has escalated. Sickness and teething can definitely affect sleep habits, but once the illness is over, or the tooth has broken through, things should get back on track. What's happening here is that you have gotten into some very bad habits. I know it's easy to do, but it's important that you stop this now. There are things you can do to limit the amount of crying, such as putting him down early so he's not over-tired, but ultimately there is going to be resistance whenever a major change has to be made. When he wakes in the night you can go to him, but DO NOT pick him up, just tell him it's still night time and to go to sleep and let him cry. Make sure he is well fed, warm enough, dry diaper, etc.. and that's all you can do. It will take a day or two, but it's short term pain for long term gain! Your neighbors will thank you and you will get your life back. You need to regain control of this situation. LEt me know if you need more help,
Good Luck,
K. Smith
www.theindependentchild.com

Hi D.,

First, I'm so sorry to hear that your precious-one is having such a difficult time. And sorry for you as well - worrying about your baby, not sleeping, etc.

My husband is a physician and ALWAYS recommends getting second and third opinions when it comes to something like this. Has he been seen at Childrens Hospital? If not, you might want to try that, as they can refer you on to whatever specialist he might need. But definately take him to a reputable medical center. Childrens, Scripps, etc. I don't know where you live, but search out, and don't stop until you have an answer you are comfortable with.

Good luck to you and many blessings.

M.

D.,

We had this issue. Finally ended up taking my son to an allergiest/immunologist to see why he was so sick so constantly. He's allergic to both dairy and soy and also has environmental allergies. He's now dairy and soy free, we wash his bedding twice a week with hot water, have allergy mattress and pillow covers and run a HEPA air purifier in his room 24/7. He's a MUCH happier kid. Seriously explore the allergy thing. He's 2.5 now and even his eczema is under control (not gone, but under control).

T.

Is your son perhaps having "night terrors" or night mares? (look it up online... these are 2 different night time issues... and it occurs at certain ages, being a developmental phase.) When they have these, they DO wake up screaming... they are scared. Night Terrors... is developmental.. and you can't really make it go away... it is a phase and will subside on it's own. But just read about it, to understand it.
Both my kids went through this. It's normal, though not pleasant, for them either.

the "excuses" are not excuses... these ARE things that abrupt a child's sleep. Your son is not doing it on purpose... he seems genuinely distressed. I know it's not easy... but your son seems to be waking for a reason... not just for the heck of it. It's not easy for him either... for a child, these wakings are just as h*** o* them, as it is on the Parent.

I would really ask your Doctor for any other advice. Is he perhaps having reflux? Stomach problems? gas? teething? Hunger (12 months is a growth spurt time), Night mares (which does occur at this age)? AND he's been sick a lot lately.... his body is probably STILL recovering. Or it's still bothering him. Have you tried teething tabs, like Hyland's?

Once, my friend's baby was always crying and screaming... she took her baby to the Doctor, who looked over her baby from head to toe, very closely to examine her. It was found, that a tiny blond hair was wrapped around her toe, and cutting into the skin as it got tangled tighter... it was barely visible to the eye. But once removed, the baby was much better. THIS was what was causing great discomfort in her baby. The point is... there is usually a reason WHY a baby is behaving this way... it is not just to be annoying.

I don't have any answers... sorry.
All the best,
Susan

My daughter changed her sleep habits right around 1 year, so I think a little bit of it is that. However, certainly not all of it. Another may be teething (however, I also dislike when everyone uses the term 'teething' for everything.). I would have to ask how your baby sleeps during the day. Perhaps your baby still has some sort of sinus infection or something like that -I'm thinking that since he is able to fall asleep upright. I would think he may also have nightmares or something alike...perhaps a toy or a blanket can come into play, if he doesn't already have one. Lastly, although I'm not an advocate of this, you may want to bring him into your bed, and see how he sleeps -even if you only do this for a little, maybe you can get your baby out of this phase and then get him back to his crib. Good luck!!!

So all of these symptoms point to one thing that I can see. I am sure that your doctor has said nothing about vaccinations might be the problem.

These are classic symptoms of vaccine reaction. Please do not give him any more shots until you research this. Do not let the doctor bully you and tell you anything until YOU know it is ok and the what your baby needs.

The AAP recommended schedule of shots for children is too many, too soon. You may contact me for more information and/or start with these:

www.909shot.org
www.tacanow.org
www.generationrescue.com

The Vaccine Book, by Dr. Robert Sears
What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Childhood Vaccinations, by Dr. Stephanie Cave
Evidence of Harm, by David Kirby

So what to do about the symptoms. I would remove all dairy, soy and wheat from your diet if you are nursing and switch to hemp/rice/almond milk and find other substitutes for calcium. Use a formula called Neocate if you are bottle feeding.

How many rounds of antibiotics has your doctor given him? Get a good probiotic for babies. Stay away from Tylenol as it depletes glutathoine and tells the immune system to take a break. We switched to Motrin with good results.

Just a mom who has been there, done that.

I understand how hard this must be for you. My 21 month also wakes up every night. But, in my case I just bring her in bed with me until the morning. I know this is my fault and I have trained her to do this by allowing her in my bed. I know this is my fault. I live with my MIL right now and feel guilty when I let my daughter cry. (I don't want to wake my MIL as well as my husband who wakes up at 4:00 am) I didn't mind in the beggining, but now that she is bigger she is becoming quite the bed hog. I end up on the edge of my King size bed. I'm always moving her over, so neither of us get a good night sleep. She has to make that transition back into her crib until the morning eventually. It's difficult hearing her cry so much. I just don't want to deal with it. I also enjoy waking up to a happy baby. When she used to stay in her crib, she would wake up at 5:00 am. This is not my idea of a good morning, so that's when i started bring her in my bed so we could sleep until 7:00 am. Well this didn't go as planned and she started waking up ealier and earlier every morning until it became as early as 1:00am....which is what time she woke up last night. So, I understand the lack of sleep issue.
I do want to say that driving in your car is not the thing to do. It's disturbing, and costly in gas. Who the hell wants to drive around just to get their kid to sleep? I would stop that right away. I know it's so difficult, but can you just let him cry? I have resorted to closing my baby's door as well as my own in the past, and she eventually fell asleep. As long as you know that there is nothing physically wrong with him, then just let him cry. Or buy a book on sleep issues, and follow through with it.
Your not alone!!! Good luck with your son.

Hi D.,

I had the same sleep issue with my daughter. She would fall asleep in my arms and then be up 2 hours later, crying and the whole mess would start again. In desperation one night I put her in her infant/toddler rocking chair (it's a canvas chair on plastic rockers that I got at Babies R Us)and turned on the vibrate motion while I made her a bottle. When I came back to her a minute later she was sound asleep. She slept 5 hours before waking for a bottle and then when I put her back in the chair she slept another 6 hours. I used the chair for a few nights to get her into a sleep pattern and then transitioned her back to her bed. Now she is sleeping through the night. Best $30 I ever spent! Good luck!

Some things to try:

black-out curtains
fan for white noise and air circulation
plants in the room for live oxygen
heavy meal before bed
hyland's teething tablets
warm bath before bed
park at the end of the day (running his energy out)
co-sleeping

Best of luck!

I would get a second opinion from another doctor. If he has been sick for over two months, no wonder he cannot sleep well. I'm sure you have a humidifier, but if not try to get one. That will relieve the congestion. I also put my children to bed with a night light and some relaxing music. A good bedtime routine would help too. Bath, story, tucked into bed. There are also some homepathic remedies that help calm children at health foods stores. I've never tried one, but I know moms who have and they said they worked.

Ok i just went through this ... My baby is 13 months old and i had to do somrthing i was so tired... Starting 4 nights ago i changed my bed time routine, let me tell you my boy would only fall asleep with a bottle and woke up 3 - 4 times a night. Ok heres what i did and it totally worked. So at 7 he gets a bath, at 730 we put on his favorite show and let him watch for 15 - 30 min in the dark, (quiet time) and (i went to toys r us and bought a lullabye cd) i sat in his room with him on my lap and read one book, tell him night night, put him in his crib and turn on the cd. The first night he cryed for 16 min, second night 6 min, 3rd night 3 min , and tonight nothing. As for the middle of the night when i heard him cry went in to check that everything was ok then told him night night put on the cd, left and the first night he cryed 30 min and from then on he hasnt made a peep. It killed me but it worked and he has much better days. Tonight he pointed to his room and said "night night" that made me feel good. Good luck

Hi D.,

I'm sorry to hear that your little guy is not feeling well and that you are having way too many sleepless nights. I'm of the opinion that, if your son is not feeling well, having him cry it out is not going to help. It doesn't suprise me that your pediatrician has been able to help you since a lot of them are very conservative in their approach and provide you with a very limited amount of time during each visit -- almost to the point where you need to make an appointment for each symptom. What I would suggest to you consult with a Homepathic doctor to treat your son. Our son had similar issues as yours, plus he had some pretty major digestive issues that are partly a result of the 5 rounds of antibiotics he had taken during his first year of life. It wasn't until we found our current MD/homepath that our son's issues are starting to heal.

So sorry to hear how this is so distressing...similar thing with my daughter's baby...some background...parents are now separated, baby has been sick off and on and I have been praying so hard, my church as well...praying for release from any unfamiliar spirits/generational curse/take baby to a bible believing church and have them lay their hands on baby and pray. She might just be getting tormented by spirits and if her room wasn't blessed have a pastor go over and bless it. Sick is one thing but bad spirits might be another. I'll be praying for baby as well. God bless you.

I am so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. It is hard enough to cope with a baby that is not well but when you are doing so from a position of being sleep deprived it feels almost impossible. I know I have been there too.

I think that if a baby cries that much there is usually a reason.... especially wen holding him no longer works. This I learned only in retrospect. My daughter was the same and it turned out she had reflux and was in pain from the acid burning her when she was laid flat. It took us a long time to figure it out - and then only because I met another mother who described it to us and not from a doctor.

One thing I can say is that good Cranial work can go a long way to helping a baby with all sorts of issues. The beauty of it is that you don't need a "diagnosis" for it to help. Getting a proper diagnosis often being the most frustrating challenge. Often there is an imbalance of pressure on the cranial plates for any number of reasons and as few as 1-3 sessions can make a HUGE difference.

Please trust your gut.... in terms of if you think your current doctor is not getting to the heart of the matter and don't be afraid to try somewhere else for another opinion. Just know that this difficult period will end and I wish you the very best of luck and lots and lots of sleep for you all in the near future!

N.

I completely understand what you are going through. I have a 3 yr old and a 23 months old and none of them were sleeping through the night. Both my husband and I work full time so we were both sleep deprived and exhausted. I tried the cry out method with my daughter (23 months.) and she ended up in the habit of waking up at 1 am, 3 am and 5 am and needed me to put her back to sleep. So I was still not sleeping. One of the suggestions was to look at the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weisburth. This book gave some great explanation on sleep habits. I tried his methods and it really works! It his simple solutions according to the child's age and solutions for exhausted parents. It's easy to follow and it works!

Last night, my daughter slept through the entire night, and woke up a happy camper (as well as I did!) There was one time she woke at 11 pm, cried for a few seconds and put herself back to bed. I did not go into her at all last night. Hope this is encouragement for you and it helps. Good luck!

I know it's a stretch, but could some of this be allergies i hope you get some help. It has got to be exhausting.

Sandy

Take him to a diagnostician (sic). At least a better doctor.