Hi Mommas! I need some MAJOR help and I have received awesome advice through this site. I would really appreciate all your advice on my problem.
My son turned one Dec. 20th, 2008. He is a very sweet, loving, smart, funny and adorable baby and he just brightens my life so much. The love I have for him is immeasurable. So the problem is this.....lately he seems to really be testing boundaries and pushing the limits. I have lots of background in child development and I know this is normal, but this is my first child and I am not sure how to handle it. It is one thing to read about it and another to live it! I know that I have to tell him no and I have no problem telling him no. I am not overbearing and I let me do plenty of playing and exploring. I mainly reserve the "nos" for when he could be hurt or hurt someone else by his actions.
He has never liked having his diaper changed but now that he is getting bigger and stronger it has become such a battle. I dread every single diaper change or having to change his clothes because it will be a huge fight. My son cries, screams, becomes dead weight, kicks, flails, pulls away, tries to roll away/crawl off the changing table, and just basically throws a tantrum. We have tried changing him on the floor and our bed and no change. I am expecting our second child and sometimes he knocks me in the stomach. Obviously I am not going to tolerate this behavior, whether I am pregnant or not. We have tried distraction through toys, singing, tickling, having another person talk to him, and nothing is helping. Due to my husband's work schedule it is often just me. We have tried holding him still and talking very quietly to him until he settles and that does work occasionally but not every time. Basically, most diaper or clothing changes leave me sweaty, drained and frustrated. I have swatted him on the leg twice and hate myself for it. Once I just put him in his crib and left because I was getting so mad. Please help me figure out what I should do. And I KNOW I should not have swatted him so please don't make me feel any worse than I already do about it. THANK YOU MOMMAS! Can't wait to hear what you think!!!!
Don't know if this will work for you, but is there a way you can involve him in the process? Like holding the wipes for you or getting the diaper, helping you change his clothes, etc.? I think my guy is rather laid back, but he likes to help a lot (He's 21 mos), but I think they feel better when they have some control. Good luck!
I wonder if a pull-up would be easier for you right now? I can only imagine the time you are having changing him and being pregnant... I know that they are expensive, but they can be changed while they are standing, and are much easier to put on. I know that changing a poopie is much more difficult in them, but might just be worth it until he can get control of himself and you can eliminate this drama from your day. Best of luck on your newest upcoming addition!
I would warn him ahead of time, then a toy like the flashlight he gets only after he lays down and if you sit cross legged to change him, have him put his feet on your knees. I started having my twins do this when I was pregnant with their little brother and it gave them something to focus on and saved my poor belly. Give him the flashlight only as long as his feet are on your knees and be super fast. Good luck.
Dear L.
I love your name:) My 12 mo is a "L." also!!
She was a struggle to change as well. It would take me & my husband both holding her down to change a diaper. Then we did just as Patricia (earlier post) did. We asked L. to "get me a diaper...get mommy the wipes etc" Then during the change I let her hold an extra diaper, pull out wipes, sometimes she'd just like to roll around on the bed without a diaper..and if time permits, WHY NOT! She's getting easier to handle now. But it can be frustrating.
Hope this helped a litle.
D.
I have a 16 month old and it's getting better. Sometimes it takes two of us to change him. Sometimes if he has just peed in the diaper, I let him stand up while I change his diaper. I also talk about changing him ahead of time so he knows what's coming and it's not a surprise. I think the best advice that you've gotten so far is to let him have as much control over the situation as possible. Good luck...
I know it may not make you feel much better right now, but things will get better. Just when you think you can't take it anymore, the behavior that is making you crazy will improve. Just keep trying to distract him with songs or toys. Don't beat yourself up over losing control a few times. Everyone has done it and it is best for everyone to just forgive yourself and move on. When I was pretty far along with my second son, we moved my first to a big boy bed and am not proud of my behavior when my son kept getting up after I put him to bed, but we've moved on and my son doesn't remember me yelling at him or getting really angry. Have you tried treats? If he lays still while you change his diaper, then he can have a treat like a small cookie or something he really likes. Good luck and congratulations on baby 2.
I am thinking that maybe you could have a special bucket of toys that are only used during diaper changes. A HUGE lifesaver at my house is a small flash light. I tell you, to this day my kids still love them! Just something small and different than what he might usually get. I understand the struggle, but assure you that it will get better. He just does not want to be interrupted:) I hope that helps a bit! And, congrats on baby number 2..I am expecting number 5 in July..what a hot summer we are going to have:)~A.~
I have twin 2.5 yr old boys and I have had the same problem. It does get better but i still have fights many times when it comes to diaper changes. I change them on the floor and have to physically restrain their legs - I put my legs on top of theirs. I sometimes swat on the leg, as well, because sometimes that is all you can do. I don't hit hard, just enough to get their attention. My boys have the bodies of 4 yr olds, so it's even harder, and I do understand. If the diaper is not too bad you can try time outs to try to calm him. Also I have tried turning on the TV to calm them and sometimes that works. I think it is just a control issue. Good luck, and do not let him kick you in the stomach! I can tell you that holding and talking and trying to calm them down really does not work well; I just have to go ahead and hold them down to get it done.
