1 Month Old Sleep Patterns

Updated on October 09, 2006
K.M. asks from Nampa, ID
54 answers

Does anyone out there have any suggestions for a one month old who is still waking up every 2-3 hours through the night?? And what is really hard is that sometimes he won't go back to sleep. I have heard mixed reports on whether to let them cry it out or not. Any suggestions or tricks/tips on what I can do? He currently sleeps in the room with my husband and I.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.V.

answers from Portland on

Hi K.,

I empathize with you. Hang in there. I am not a huge proponent of the crying it out, but it works for some people. Have you read Dr. Harvey Karp's book or watched his DVD The Happiest Baby on the Block www.thehappiestbaby.com. Try that. The 5s work wonders. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

1 month old! Congratulations! Waking this often is normal and may mean he's hungry. If you've fed and changed him, then just give him LOTS of love. One month old is WAY too early to let them cry it out!!My son is two and I learned a few great things from a book called The Baby Whisperer. Cheezy title, but it WORKED! He's never had to cry it out because we have learned some great techniques. Babies won't sleep through the night for up to their first b-day, so don't worry. It can be hard, but this book helps you lengthen the time between waking up and he'll be sleeping through the night in no time!
-C.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Rapid City on

I have had six children,we have had to do this to two,we put just a litte bit of cereal in the bottle,that would fill them up more and they would sleep better.Sometimes children need the little extra if the milk isn't satisfying them. Hope that works for you so you can get a little sleep..
M.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.W.

answers from Portland on

Hi K.! You have received a lot of good advice from several. I would like to add another little thought to their suggestions. Harvey Karp ("The Happiest Baby on the Block") calls the first three months after birth the "4th trimester". He still has all the needs he had in your womb: closeness to Mommy, oodles of touch, rocking, warmth, and frequent feedings, held close, skin to skin.

Another really good book I strongly urge you to read (you can check it out at the local library) is the revised (2003)"The Baby Book", by the Sears Drs. Great book, thorough, balanced, full of common sense.

As a mom, grandma and postpartum doula, I've had experience with probably hundreds of babies, and I have seen the results of all kinds of parenting, from attachment to "cry-it-out", and I have to agree with Dr. Karp. Those who are "worn" in slings, carried, cuddled and kept close to Mom are, on the whole, happier and healthier babies. They gain weight more rapidly, tend to cry less, and grow to be more happy and secure. And isn't that what we want for our little ones? I can't think of a greater start to give him than the security of knowing Mommy is always going to be there to meet his every need. The more he has of you now, the less needy and insecure he'll be later on.

I empathize with your lack of sleep, that is one of the biggest challenges of new parenthood, and one that so many are caught off-guard with. Get as much sleep as you can, and get help if you can. If you can afford to hire a doula overnight even once a week so you can get a good night's sleep, it would help greatly. Or maybe a trusted friend or relative would be willing to do that for you. Since you work, naps are probably out of the question, so focus on the nights.

Enjoy those babies, they grow up all too quickly!
God bless you, J.

I believe I live fairly close to you, feel free to contact me personally, I'd love to chat and help you sort this out.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I never knew there was such thing as a 1 month old sleep pattern. ;-)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

Usually at one month of age if they are crying they need something. It is usually hunger. Ask your pediatrician about putting a little bit of baby cereal in a bottle if you are bottle feeding. It keeps them full longer. I hope that helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Washington DC on

My son is 10 weeks and still doesnt sleep through the night. He still gets up on average 1-2 times and even at his age I go in there when I hear him. He is starting to only drink a little at this point so I am optimistic he may sleep through eventually. Sometimes though I think he just wakes up to be cuddled because he barely drinks at all. At either rate I still feel at 10 weeks he is too young to cry it out. If he is just fussing a little I dont get up right away but as soon as he starts really crying I go right in.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.D.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I agree with everyone that a one-month-old should never be left to "cry it out." Every 2-3 hrs seems perfectly normal to me. You mentioned he is still sleeping in your room with you. If you have him in his own bed, you could try moving him to another room. Maybe your movements are waking him up/keeping him up. I know that both my son and I slept better and longer as soon as I moved him into his own room when he was 3-weeks old. But he didn't start sleeping through the night until he was 4 months old. If he's still having problems going back to sleep, make sure you are keeping things as dark and quiet as possible. Don't play with him or talk to him very much, save that for the day so he'll learn days are for staying awake, night for sleeping.
Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.C.

answers from Portland on

Hi, we've always co-slept with our children, ages 4, 2 and 2 months and especially when they are just a few months old, they're going to wake up a lot because they are growing while they are sleeping and they still need to eat a lot in the night to compensate for that. That's why it's always been the best for our family to co-sleep, because I just latch them on to the breast and go back to sleep and my babies have always been happy as clams!!! I hope this helps.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Sioux Falls on

My 4 month old has always been a big baby...almost 10 pounds at birth. She started sleeping 4-8 hours at a time at 2 months. At one month, since she's so big, I had to make sure she was getting enough to eat. She'd fall asleep while nursing and I'd tickle her just enough to get her to start suckling again. Especially if you're breastfeeding, that hind-milk is much fattier and will last them longer at night.

Otherwise: routine, quiet, and darkness. With my first, I made the mistake of changing her diaper in the middle of the night if it was the slightest bit wet...and we'd be up far too long. With this one, I grab her without turning on any lights, let her eat again, and then put her right back down. The only exceptions are if she has a dirty diaper.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.B.

answers from Portland on

In my experience this is pretty normal. Is he breast or bottle fed? My daughter was breast fed and woke up every 2-3 hours but she generally would go back to sleep. Unless she had gas. Those mylethicone(?) drops were a life saver in the first few months. I would also always make sure to not turn on lights, etc. and make her think it was a time to be awake though. I actually used a tiny flashlight so I could see but it kept the room dark. I am against the whole cry it out method because I practice attachment parenting. You may or may not agree with this but have you tried putting him in bed with you? I found this made my daughter sleep much better and I did too! Whatever you decide, good luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.A.

answers from Omaha on

At this age he is too young to cry it out. When our son was this age he woke up about every two hours and it was because he was hungry. We fed him, rocked him a little, and put him back in his bassinet. We didn't do the co-sleeping, not because I was worried about safety, I just didn't want to ween him off of sleeping with us later. As he got older (4-6 months) we did let him cry it out a little or we warmed his bassinet or crib with a heating pad so he wouldn't wake up from the shock of being put down on cold sheets while he was sleeping. We were always tired during this time and I heard from all my friends how easily their children and babies slept through the night early on (a little frustrating to hear). My son was just very big, grew a lot and needed to eat a lot. (he was breastfed).

We did ask friends and family for breaks so I could nap during the day, or on the weekends to re-charge. I also started going to bed for an evening nap after dinner (about 7 p.m.) and my husband watched and fed our son milk I had pumped during the day, then I got up during the late night hours of the night if he woke and needed fed.

After 6 months of age we had to start getting more firm and put him in his crib and let him cry it out, but after one week of that he caught on and woke up less. By 7 months he slept through the night unless he was sick.

We read these books to establish a routine and stuck to it. Now family and friends are amazed how easily our son goes down for naps and at bedtime, and he is rarely fully asleep when placed in his bed now, he just knows the routine and doesn't fight it.

Books
#1 --Baby Wise
#2--On Becoming Babywise
Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam, Robert Buckham
#3 Baby Wise 2

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.H.

answers from Boise on

Hi K.,
I am the mother of 5 month old twins. They woke up every 2 hours (never at the same time) untill they were about 3 months old. that left very little time for me to sleep. now they wake only 1 time a night each. Hang in there. Most babies at one month only sleep 2-3 hours at a time. Just keep it dark and quiet when he does wake and hopefully this will help him go back to sleep. I would not let a one month old cry it out. He needs his Mommy time to feel safe. After about 5-6 months, if he has been fed and changed, then I would let him cry it out. Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.S.

answers from Omaha on

K.,

I don't really have any advise, per se. Just sympathy... lots and lots of sympathy. My son is 3 weeks old, and we are going thru the same thing. I don't mind getting up every 2-3 hours. But when he won't go back to sleep, that makes for a rough night! 3 nights ago he was awake from 12:30 am to 6:00 am!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Portland on

Letting a one month old cry it out isn't an option. Waking up every 2-3 hours is still perfectly normal, at this age they still NEED to eat that often. My kids didn't start sleeping 6 or 7 hours straight at night until they were between 2 and 3 months. But once they are past 6 months, if they are still waking up during the night, they don't need to be fed. Kind of a bummer, but I hope that helps. if you have doubts, call your doctor.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi K.,

This is not unusual for a one month old to wake up so frequently. In fact, it shows signs of a good healthy baby, and those that sleep through the night are at a significantly higher risk of SIDS. Although some people would say that you should put cereal in their bottle, that has been proven to lead to childhood obesity early on. If you're nursing, the best bet is to make sure he's getting enough to eat before he goes down, so that he is full. That's all the advice I have, just remember it will get easier :) Take care

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.

answers from Boise on

With our first child we were really at our wits end by the time she was a month old, due to the lack of sleep, etc. I know some people view it as controversial, but for us it was a LIFE SAVER! Pick up a copy of "Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. It was our "bible" and really helped us set up a routine and get our daughter sleeping through the night by the time she was 9 weeks old. She is now 4 and is THE BEST sleeper that I know! Now you have to understand that 1 month old is too young for the majority of babies to be sleeping though the night, so I hope you haven't set your hope too high just yet. :) Another "trick of the trade' is if you are breast feeding, try and give your baby a formula feeding for his last feeding before bed. It is said that babies will sleep for a longer stint becasue the formula is more filling. Just some ideas for you to try! Good luck, and grab a nap when you can-RIGHT! :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.O.

answers from Portland on

I agree that this behavior is totally normal. My son woke frequently throughout the night and wouldn't go back to sleep for the first 6-8 weeks. After that he would wake up at night and go back to sleep after we fed him. We didn't get a full night's rest until he was 4 months old. Sounds like you must have gotten lucky the with the first one! ;)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.

answers from Boise on

I have been in your shoes before. My oldest son when he was little would wake up every 2 hours until he was almost a year old. First tip: Put your son in his own bed and in his own room. He senses that you are close by which also wakes him up. If he is not hungry don't pick him up right away. Let him fuss a little while. A 1 month old is a little too young to let cry himself back to sleep wait until he is about 3 months before you do that one. Stay as close to a pattern as you can with the little one. Put him to bed around the same time every night. Sometings a warm bath with J&J Lavander bed time bath works too. Hope this helps.

Mother of 2 boys 5 and 4

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Portland on

Hi K.!

Aren't those early months great? I have to agree with some of the other moms; I think one month is way too early to start letting them cry. My daughter woke up every couple of hours until she was five or so months old - but then, we co-slept, and nursed, so getting her back to sleep was very easy (and wonderfully snuggly!). At six months, she moved to her own room, and still woke up about once a night until she was about eleven months. At that point we started letting her cry if she woke up. Now, she gets a solid eleven hours of sleep a night, and naptime is no longer a hassle.

When you're sleep-deprived, those early months can last for years. Make sure that during the day you're taking naps so you can be less tortured at night, and make sure that dad gets his turns in, too. At least you've already done this once before! Best of luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.A.

answers from Portland on

i think u should let him cry for a while to teach him to calm himself. my daughter was the same i did not do this. the rsult is that she is 18 months old and i am starting to let her cry to learn how to calm herself she does not sleep on her own uptill now. believe its easier to form their habits when they r that young. just make sure he is not hungry and nothing is wrong with the bed

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.O.

answers from Fargo on

Another great book: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child: by Marc Weissbluth.

I am right there with you! My child is 10 weeks old and has just started sleeping 5 hours at a time. It will come for you too! He is too young to cry it out and at that age just needs food, diaper and love!

This too shall pass!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.D.

answers from Daytona Beach on

At one month he's too young to let cry it out. It's normal for a one month old to wake up every 2-3 hours. What can you do? Be patient! By about 2 months he'll be getting up once in the night and it will get better from there.

When you get up in the night with him be sure to give him NO stimulation - keep lights off, don't talk to him, play with him, etc. During the day keep it light, keep noise even if it's tv, give him a lot of stimulation and attention. He'll come to learn that the excitement happens during light hours and will start sleeping at night.

Be patient, you are expecting too much from a 1 month old.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.

answers from Omaha on

At a month old waking up that often is perfectly normal. They NEED that extra food. Breastfed babies usually wake up more often than formula fed babies because it digests so easily. I breastfed both my girls and the first started sleeping through at 2 months and my second didn't sleep through until 8 months. She would wake every hour to eat. It was frustrating but enjoy that quiet time with them. Soon you won't have it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.F.

answers from Pocatello on

hi K.,

i'm sure you've heard a lot, but i thought i'd add a little too.

at 1m, our son didn't sleep through the night at all! he woke every hour, so i fed him. on the nights he just wouldn't settle, i would cuddle him (or his dad would) on my chest and we'd snooze that way.

he was 3 weeks early, and i think he just needed more. i've never been able to let him cry it out, since we do IPT. i carried (and still do) him in a sling a lot, and the cuddling seemed to help him settle down more easily. i would usually lay him down with the sling as a blanket after he'd fall asleep. if you like to or have time to do so, cuddle him lots in a sling - they are lifesavers!

don't worry if people think you're spoiling him by answering his every cry - he needs to know you will be there, and it makes you less stressed too. but he's 1m old, and hungry and in a new place. it's not a fun time, but you'll make it and suddenly you will realise one night that he's still asleep! not really a fan of Ezzo for the fact that i've seen a lot of 'failure to thrive' children who were being fed according to the book. but i think the parents went too far in how seriously they took the book.

but just so you know, even now at 18m, if he's crying, it's because he's wet or has to pee. i don't like to let him cry it out - we're working on other skills.

best of luck

R.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.

answers from Omaha on

I think that is perfectly normal for a one month old. At that age I dont think letting him cry it out is even an option as far as I know. Good luck.
L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from Omaha on

At one month the child cannot manipulate the situation, crying it out will not work. He needs something probably hungry. My twins would wake up every 2-3 hours for 8-9 weeks then began sleeping through the night. OUr first daughter started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. Alot has to do with the babies weight and how much he ate before bedtime. But sleeping in the room with you and your husband could contribute to the situation. We only had the girls in our room for 1-2 weeks then transitioned into their own crib in their room. Have you tried putting them in their nusery?
We were fortunate to have good sleepers but have friends that had trouble. At 5 months you can let him cry it out but now except he will wake often.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It looks like you've been given a lot of good advice, but I thought I'd just throw in my two cents... I think its normal for a one month old to wake up several times in the nightI would not let a one month old cry, I think they still need comfort. I know this is the last thing you want to hear but I think you just need to experiment. My sister in law realized that her baby slept better in his carseat with backround noise... so he slept in the car seat in the bathroom with the fan on, until he could wiggle himself out. Sometimes its gas, sometimes its insecurity, or hunger, or they are uncomfortable. I think you just have to experiment.
Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.

answers from Las Vegas on

It's normal for babies to wake up and want to eat multiple times during the night. For me this lasted for about 6 months before it slowed down.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi K.,

I am a mother of a 6 month old. I would say it is pretty normal for your one month old to be waking up at night, but about him not going to sleep, it sounds like maybe he is waking up and wants to be fed. Or, if he is a binky baby, maybe he is looking for some binky comfort. It could be alot of things. With my daghter, this is what I have found that seems to be her problems and the solutions I have come up with. Maybe it will be the same for your little boy:
1- Kicks the blankets off at night and wakes up cold.
Solution: I put 2 blankets on to add a little more weight and she won't wake up
2- Wakes up looking for pacifier for comfort
Solution: I give her the pacifier and she spits it out when she is done - while she is sleeping
3- Wakes up and is hungry
Solution: I put 1 tblsp. of rice cereal in her milk and she sleeps through the night. Or if you are breastfeeing, maybe pump and mix it in that way - only for the feeding before going to bed. HOWEVER, I would ask your pediatrician first of course.

Don't know if any of these will help you, but this is what I've experienced. If you are breastfeeding, it will probably take a while for your baby to sleep through the night, as they get hungrier sooner when being breastfed. It took my daughter almost 2 months to sleep through the nigh - and she's on formula! You might want to ask your pediatrician for suggestions as well (if you already haven't done that)! Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Provo on

On crying it out - I've read that babies need to be at least 11 lbs. and 3 months old before making them go through the night without a feeding. With both of my kids, it seemed like they were about 6 weeks old before they started going more than 2-3 hours. I did make them cry it out eventually. With my first I did it at 8 months and it took 1 week. With my second I did it at 4 months and it took 3 nights. I will do it at 4 months again with my next. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.

answers from Anchorage on

good god no... you don't let an infant CIO (but then again, I'm soooooo not a fan at any age). They got studies that show children that young can actually suffer from post traumatic stress disorder by CIO.

They don't have sleep patterns at that age. My daughter didn't sleep more than 1 hour at a time until she was 15 months old. Some children just don't sleep... some do, it's a crapshoot at best.

I strongly suggest you read the no cry sleep solution. While your baby is too young right now to expect any type of consistent pattern, it can help you develop a healthy sleep cycle for your baby as it gets older.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.H.

answers from Portland on

Not all children sleep through the night at one-month of age. My oldest son did, but my daughter did exactly what your child is doing and she would cry almost the whole time. My next two boys were more easy going, but they were hungry a lot of the time and would still wake up. (My daughter, by the way, did not sleep through the night until she was one-year-old.) If you are extremely concerned, try checking with your pediatrician, but otherwise, it's just a stage and will probably change again soon.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.T.

answers from Missoula on

Hi K.!

Congrats on your sweet little one! With a 1 mo. old you must be quite tired! I am a doula, but more importantly a mom with a little experience.:-) One baby slept through at 6 wks., one at 8 wks. Both nursed. I think the sleeping part we got pretty lucky! I don't think the co-sleeping is the problem, because newborns actually can feel more secure, and so can sleep better when they have you nearby. Its been proven that when they lay next to their parents (mom, esp.) that their breathing will soon sync up with yours after a little while of sleep, thus again showing the reaxation and better sleep.

Another thing we did was like one of your other posters... when we got up at night, we kept the lights very low for the necessary things, like diaper changing. But when they were still awake and just didn't seem to want to sleep...lights off! (or at least nightlight :-) so they knew it wasn't playing time. When they knew that it was dark, thay knew we weren't going to be "playing". That was a little hard for me, 'cause I wanted all the interaction I could get...but I was tired, and really preferred daytime interaction anyway, KWIM?

The other thing I highly recommend is what Kelly V. mentioned, The "Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr Harvey Karp. I have heard nothing but good things from clients, and relatives, about it. The book is great, but I have heard from those using it that its best when you use it along with the DVD, so you can really see how the techniques are done. (Or just get the DVD alone?) There are also certified "Happiest Baby" classes as well so you can work with a teacher one on one. (I don't know if that's really needed or not...maybe if you're having an extra hard time). But the classes aren't available in tons of places yet, but it might be worth checking out if you need to.

But I definitely don't recommend letting him cry it out at this age. At 1 month, he's just too little.
I could go on about some of this, but I don't want to overwhelm the board with my yakking.

Let me know how you are doing, and getting through this, and let us know when you find what helps you...every mom and baby is unique.

Take care,
N.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from Eugene on

Hi, K.! I'm glad to hear that baby is in bed with you. That makes life easier for both of you. I'm guessing that you're probably nursing, too. If you haven't already figured out how to do so lying next to your baby, this is a good time to practice a few nights until you get it comfortable for both. A lifesaver of support is La Leche League, with a wealth of information on breastfeeding and early infant support. My friend, Selene, is a leader at ###-###-####. You may call her anytime, she has been trained to help! Tell her I sent you!

By the way, the feeding formula "trick" sometimes "works" to make a baby sleep longer because the cow's milk is harder for the stomach to digest, so it takes longer. I wouldn't make that choice myself. Not a big Babywise fan, either. I believe that you and your baby have a clear idea of what you want. Open your heart, listen and give. Get the support you need. This part of parenting is hard, hard, beautiful work. My heart goes out to you!

Best,
K.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.

answers from Portland on

I don't think there's anything unusual about this...I mean, he's only one month! My son did this for about 5 months; I read this is within reason for a nursing baby. They just get hungrier faster! But even if you are using formula, I wouldn't expect him to sleep much longer. I know you are sleep deprived, but try to feed him or rock him and maybe he'll drop off to sleep again. I let my son sleep next to me so this nightime waking/feeding would be less disruptive for us both. I'd do it again, too! Just remember, it will end one day and try to enjoy your little baby!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.

answers from Eugene on

He only a month old! Relax. Most babies don't get into any sort of sleeping pattern AT ALL until 6-8 weeks some much longer than that. He doesn't understand it's night time and mommy wants to sleep. Try your best to continue giving him signals that one part of the day is for waking the other part for sleep (like no lights, quiet house, little interaction etc.) DO NOT let a one month old baby cry it out, he's way to young for that. Just four weeks ago he was inside your womb having every need met before he knew he had it and now all of the sudden he has to cry to let you know and wait for you to come to him. He needs to trust you're there for him. When he is 6-8 MONTHS old you could do the crying it out thing, that is the age they begin to manipulate their environment and can understand more readily that there are certain rules to live by. Good luck, but please keep in mind he will not understand it if you're letting him cry, he will just think you're not there. Put yourself in his shoes -or booties- for a minute and picture what he's going through.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.N.

answers from Portland on

My ten month old still doesn't sleep through the night. We co sleep and he's still nursing. I'm so used to it, that when he does let me sleep for longer than 3 hours, I wake up anyways. I also work full time, so I'm very sleep deprived. When he was a month old, it was even worse. We used the exercise ball and bounced him for hours and he would fall asleep. That's the only thing that worked for us. Hope this helps;}

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.S.

answers from Reno on

Please don't worry too much about sleep patterns now. A newborns sleep cycle is sixty minutes compared to our three hours. Your baby most likely will change his own habits. My son slept in our room until he was three months and still got up every three hours or so. It wasn't until about three months he went every five hours, then at about four and a half months he went through the night. Your sons tummy is still really small and he's still so young. Our pediatrician told us a baby will not stop waking up that often until about four months. HOWEVER there are a few tips that I used that really seemed to help my boy sleep better. These may be DUH'S for most people, but I learned the hard way. Putting him in his own room added at least an hour to his sleep cause we did not disturb him when we rolled around. I was not comfortable with this until three months tho! The other was to leave his room dark. I used to keep a lamp on so I could see to change him and feed him, but DARK was better! It keept him sleepy because he couldn't look around at everything. It also qued him that dark means sleep. This may sound crazy but I always tell him when it's bedtime and why he has to rest and that I'll be there if he wakes up. My son never did pick up on bed time routines. Please don't worry yet, sleep is a luxury from here on out anyway!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.H.

answers from Chico on

Most one month old babies don't sleep through the night. If your 1st baby did, you are very lucky. I would not suggest letting them cry it out as it makes him learn not to trust you or to go to you for help if he needs anything. Since crying is your baby's only way of communicating for the 1st months of his life, it doesn't hurt to respond to him.
It must be tough on you as you are working.....but the "ferber" method doesn't suggest you start letting them cry it out until they are older than 6 months (maybe older even).

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.A.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi K.,
I am a postpartum doula and a lactation specialist. It is not AT ALL unusual for a one month old to wake every 2-3 hours. That is very age-appropriate. Their little stomachs are about the size of a walnut right now and they simply cannot hold enough milk to sustain them any longer than that. Do some 1 month olds sleep longer stretches? Yes, but their metabolism may be different than your baby's. Also, babies who wake more often in the night have a lower incidence of SIDS.

As for crying it out, a one month old has NO CAPACITY for understanding that. None. The baby's only form of communication right now is crying, and if you don't meet the baby's needs, it will do one of two things: continue to cry for hours and hours (which is physically harmful to the baby and floods its system with cortisol, a stress hormone) or it will ultimately just give up and become depressed and withdrawn.

There are a few things that you can do. A good tight swaddle will help the baby sleep longer stretches. All babies have a "Moro Reflex" which causes the baby to startle and jolt itself awake. A swaddle curbs this, and the reflex itself is generally gone by 3 months. Many parents swear that their babies hate to be swaddled. NOT TRUE. They may hate to GET swaddled, but the do not hate to BE swaddled. S(He) was swaddled 24/7 in your belly and was quite happy. If you are not a good swaddler, get one of the many swaddling blankets available. A great book or DVD on this subject is The Happiest Baby on the Block.

Another thing to incorporate is white noise. A fan or even a radio tuned between stations to static will work. Play it all night, and your baby (and you!) will probably sleep much better.

I hope this helps. It is so hard during those early months with a newborn, especially if you are working and have another little person to care for. Try to remember that this is but a blip on the screen in the big picture. My very best to you and your family!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.

answers from Lincoln on

To be quite blunt, one month olds don't have sleep patterns. Crying it out is not recommended until babies are AT LEAST sixteen weeks old. I think that it's quite normal (although frustrating) that your baby is waking 2-3 times at night. Hang in there, it will get better!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I can only go by what I read and did my self, but I read that babies don�t know how to manipulate at that age, if your baby is up, crying, laughing, sleeping, it is pure and instinctive, I let my son sleep with me the whole first year, I nursed him when he woke up which was every 2 hours, changed his diaper, and like suggested, didn�t turn on any lights and didn�t stimulate him so that hopefully he could get on a day/night schedule, sometimes I'd put him in his swing and sleep next to the swing, which would put him to sleep, and sometimes, I just didn�t get any sleep. Welcome to Parent Hood. But after the first year, I read a book on getting your child to sleep in his/her own bed, and it was sooo easy, No abandonment at all, It suggests to never let them cry it out, to put him in his bed, let him cry 1 min. go in to reassure him that you will be there to meet his needs if he needs you, then go out and wait 2 min, then 3 min. and so on, I'll tell you, within 15 min, my son was sound a sleep and never felt abandon, he knew if he needed me, he could cry out and I'd be there. Suggested Books that I found helpful, "What to expect the first year", "What to expect the toddler years", "Children are from Heaven" and as they get a little older, "Love & Logic" I'm sure there's many others you'll find helpful, Good luck & Nap Often.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter had the same problem. I finally gave her gas drops right before each feeding---it worked tremendously! Try this it worked for me!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I wouldn't let him cry; I think he's way too young (I've heard six months is a good time to start doing that, although I have never let mine cry for more than a few minutes--needless to say, I didn't much sleep the first year!). I might try moving him out of your room--you may not hear every little cry that way. Adjust the baby monitor so that you can hear him when he really cries but not every little sound. Boys need more food, more often when they're young, so he probably truly is hungry. Try to let him fall asleep on his own after you feed him, so that he's not falling asleep with your help in that regard. Pat his back, rock him, whatever, but then put him down and try to let him go down by himself. Eventually he will, and eventually he will start waking up less often. I think at 4 months (maybe sooner, ask your doctor) you can start with rice cereal and then he may sleep longer too. In the meantime, enjoy every moment with him even if they do come in the middle of the night!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.W.

answers from Missoula on

I don't know if it still would help, but when my daughter was a baby, I just let her cry it out and turned on a fan for backround noise...the drone will calm her down and make her sleepy...it might take a few nights, but it really helped me!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Eugene on

My boy was so fussy and had a difficult time sleeping. A whole new world opened up for me after reading Dr. Karps The Happiest Baby On The Block. It talks about very specific tecniques for calming babies and I found it helped my baby sleep when he was tired and stay asleep longer. The technique includes a tight swaddle, putting baby against you on tummy or side, doing very vigorous tiny jiggles, and having white noise on. You have to read the book to really get the specifics of the techniques, but it works every time if you are doing it accuratly.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.Y.

answers from Portland on

Hi,
We were told over and over to let our son "cry it out" After 45 minutes I could not take it anymore. I think that 1 month is too young to even try. We did read Elizabeth Pantley's "the no cry sleep solution" but that did not work for us either. Our son slept best in our bed and on his side (he always rolled onto his stomach). At 3 months he was too wiggly but miracle of miracles, he quickly adapted to sleeping in his own bed. I know both of my suggestions are against dr. recommendations but there are lots of cultures in the world who practice co-sleeping and who DON"T experience crib death at our levels.
Of, course every child and every parent is different.
I do recommend cranio-sacral treatments. I got one for my son at 3 months and he immediatly started sleeping 8-10 hours/ night.
S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi K.,
the baby is just one month old, it's normal that he wakes up several times at night, especially if you breastfeed him, but if not, maybe he is hungry, so give him a little more formula.
Good luck
Pilar

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Portland on

Hi K.. My husband and I know what you are feeling. I have two sons. One is almost 3 and the other is 6 months. Basically what we did is get them on a schedual right away. Do the same things in order every night at the same time. At around 7 or when your baby gets fussy, give them a nice warm bath, clean diaper, then feeding. Every night. This gets the baby use to when he/she goes to sleep every night. After a few nights you will see improvements in the sleeping pattern. About sleeping through the night. When they are in the room it is hard for you to let them cry because they are right next to you. If you feel comfortable, move them to there own room, which will give you a chance to not hear every adorable cue that they make in the night. A bassinet or crib with a mobil worked wonders for me. When they would wake up in the night I would feed him and if he wasn't asleep when we were done, I would turn on his mobil and he would lay there until he went back to sleep. Its harder on the mama to let them lay there, but don't go get him unless he is really crying! I hope that helps! C. from Dallas

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi K.,
If a baby was sleeping thru the night at that age and I was counseling the mother at the WIC office...I would send her to the pediatrician to find out what is medically wrong with the baby. I would definately not let a baby that age cry anything out for any reason. I agree w/ other moms that state your baby has no other way of communicating with you other than crying.

How long a stretch of time is the baby sleeping during the day? Are you breastfeeding or formula feeding. Your babies stomach is only a little bit bigger than a pin pong ball. That means that BF babies need to eat 8-12 times a day. That averages out to every three hours. If you are breastfeeding and your baby is sleeping longer than 2 hours between the day time feeds....then I would wake to feed them. Let your 1 4-5 hour stretch of time be in the middle of the night when the house should be sleeping. If you are formula feeding, some babies are still only drinking 2-4 oz. every 2-4 hours. Around 3 weeks of age (for both BF and Formula fed babies)most babies will go thru a growth spurt. Some babies can grow as much as 1 inch over night. WOW!~ Can you imagine. During this growth spurt most babies will either want to eat every hour on the hour or increase the amount of formula per feeding. When your baby is not eating or sleeping, he/she will probably be crying or fussy. Hang in there! GOOD NEWS! It ususally only last for 2-3 days. BAD NEWS! It may seem like the longest 2-3 days of your life. You start to see a better sleeping pattern and the process repeats itself again around 6 weeks and 6 months. I would expect your baby to drink 2 1/2 times its weight in formula or 10-12 times a day if you are BF. This would be average, not during a growth spurt. Some babies as they get older will cluster feed. This means he/she will eat at 5 pm, 6 pm, 7 pm, and 8 pm and fill up to get a longer stretch of sleep at night. This may accure after the6 week growth spurt. If this info sounds like what you are doing, then maybe you need to have the baby evaluated by the pediatrician. The longest stretch of time a baby this age should sleep is 1, 4-5 hr. stretch in 24 hr period. Again 10-12 Bf in 24 hours or multiply your babies weight by 2.5 and that would be the minimum amount of formula a baby should drink at that age. EX....6 pound baby would drink 16 oz. minimum.
8.5 pound would drink 22oz.(give or take an once) I hope this helps. Good luck and try to sleep during the day when the baby is asleep. How about co-sleeping, just another option. If you choose to do co-sleeping aand do not want it to last forever...than around 9 months of age is the easiest time to change that habit. If you co sleep, remember, no big cushy comforters, no waterbeds, no consumption of alcohol or drugs and no smoking in the bedroom(preferably not in the house). These are some recommendations for co-sleeping. I will let you know that my first child NEVER!!!!! slept in my bed. I did not believe in it. Well, guess what? My views changed, when I had my second child. I just needed more sleep. So don't feel bad if you change your mind about alot of things that you may have done with your 1st child vs. the second.
Sorry so long! Hope this helps!
H. B.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.J.

answers from Eugene on

It is more than normal for a one month old baby to wake at least every 2-3 hours. Here is a website with lots of information about normal infant sleep patterns. I know it can be overwhelming but human babies are not designed to sleep through the night until they have gotten most of their teeth.
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/index.html
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/sleep.html
I hope this helps.
W. Jones
Breastfeeding Educator

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.M.

answers from Omaha on

Waking every 2-3 hours every night, especially at one month of age does not strike me as particularly odd. I had twins. They kept us up almost constantly until they reached 4-5 months old. Then they started to teeth-- repeat cycle! Do not fret. It sounds like maybe this strikes you as unusual possibly because your other child may have been a better sleeper. Some children take longer to get into a sleep rhythm that works for us (some take as long as 40 weeks!--9 months!).

I would definitely NOT recommend letting your baby cry it out. It is too cruel a solution-- especially for a one month old. It is likely to only harm your little one-- who is probably trying to get your attention for a very good reason-- hunger, need for soothing, brights lights, etc. Try raising this issue with your pediatrician and consider some reading material. I would strongly recommend "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It is a gentle way to help your baby get settled and, eventually, learn to self-soothe their way back to sleep. In the meantime, try to make your baby's wake time quiet and dark. By fully waking up and turning the lights on-- we give them the signal to wake up for good. (Pantley has lots of tips to help deal with this.)

Believe me, I understand sleep deprivation as well as the next bleary eyed working mom. I know it is hard to be up every two hours, especialy with another child demanding your attention. Hang in there, though. Your little one will not be asking this of you forever. My twins are now 14 months old and sleeping soundly from 8 PM to 6 AM. I would have never imagined that we'd reach this point if you had asked me 6 months ago (when they were getting up every 1-2 hours!) It will get better. In the meantime, be patient with yourself and your baby. If you are really dragging, consider getting some additional help. But don't let him cry it out. He is still too young and needs you too much right now... Read Pantley's book (it is short) and try out some of the techniques there. It will get better.

--E.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.B.

answers from Omaha on

He probably needs to feel secure. A warm baby blanket, maybe some soft music and mom holding him in a rocking chair. Sometimes you can go in the bathroom or kitchen and the sound of running water sometimes works and helps them fall back asleep because they still feel like like there in mommys womb. Hold him as much as possible, feed him, change his diaper, if there is frequent crying the baby might be colic and needs infant gas medicine. It works wonders. I had my fifth child and wenth through months with waking nights. Please mom and dad take turns on shifts because we all need our sleep. Moms especially need support and alot of rest during this period. If you have any more question please feel free to write. I have a one year old and just experienced a lot of new things with his changes from baby until now. Even changes with myself. B.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions