Opinions or Thoughts Please: What Do You Consider a Responsible Teen?

Handles their responsibilities (homework, chores, job, etc.) without assistance or negative results.
Can be trusted to do as they've been asked.
Can be trusted to use good judgement in bad situations.
Knows when a parent/adult needs to be involved.
Maintains open communication with parents about difficult subjects (sex, drugs, alcohol), even if it puts others in a bad light.
Trusts parents enough to be open and honest, even if it puts the teen in a bad light.

I'll alternate genders, but this applies to boys and girls:

- Is where he says he is going to be when he is going to be there.
- When in a situation that she shouldn't be in (someone is doing something dangerous or illegal or just wrong), makes every attempt to remove herself from the situation, shares situation with parent and prevents future involvement in a similar situation
- Does his chores without being asked/reminded/nagged and schedules time to do them. "I was busy" is not an excuse
- Has a job
- Maintains grades to the best of her ability
- When joining a team or club or other group activity, commits to 100% participation without whining or excuses or quitting
- Is responsible and safe with media - doesn't send risque texts or pics, doesn't go to questionable web sites, deletes anything objectionable that he receives from others, would actively take a stand against someone being victimized, abused or bullied electronically
- doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs of any kind
- follows driving laws, especially about phone use, having passengers as a junior operator, riding with someone who is not allowed to have passengers, etc.
- if sexually active, is doing this discreetly in a committed, respectful relationship in a safe manner - using proper birth control and STD protection, never forcing or coercing someone into anything, no "kiss and tell" or advertising one's love life, no gossiping, "slut shaming," or doing anything degrading or demeaning to self or partner.
- conducts self with honesty and integrity...doesn't act or dress one way at home and then go to a friend's house to change clothes and act differently (in a way that is unacceptable to parents). Be who you are.

My daughter was beyond a responsible teen so we will drop her from the data pool, little freak! Seriously, she broke no laws, not even speeding, freak! But I love her.

I will use my son, basically good, the only wrongs he did were due to his youth so a couple bad choices like speeding. Did all his homework on his own, did mostly everything on his own. Worked since he was 13.

I mean teens by their nature are not perfect except for my older daughter and I am not sure she is really ours. Still in a nutshell if they are self sufficient and they tell you what they are up to they are responsible teens.

Oh my younger two are currently teens and for the most part they are responsible as well. It is just at 13 and 15 they aren't independent because they aren't driving yet so they haven't been tested yet.

My kids always had good grades, 3.4 or higher but yes they worked. More in the summer but they worked at least 8 hours a week during the school year. Still they had to pay to maintain their car, insurance, gas, whatever and I felt this was a big enough pull from their income. In every other way I supported them through college.

I do find it sad that some parents don't think their kids can work, do sports, whatever, and still keep up their grades. My daughter, ya know, the freak, had three internships a semester and still worked at a pizza joint in college, her choice, we paid for everything, still maintained a 3.4. While everyone else was partying she was studying.

Oh and boyfriend's dad sounds like an asshat.

It's been a while since my daughter was a teen (darn I feel old). She was working PT from 16 at a Jack in the Box so she could earn her spending money. She graduated from HS with a 3.95 GPA and a scholarship to SEMO.

My 14 year old son can't wait until he's 16 so that he can work at our local grocery store or restaurant to earn his spending money (really, he wants to buy a car).

What do I consider "responsible"?
1. Communicates needs properly.
2. Participates in the family - chores, etc.
3. Understands timing - being on-time for school, dates, sports, etc.
4. Homework is done on time and to the best of their ability.
5. Uses money wisely - savings as well as spending and charitable giving.
6. Self-sufficient - knows how to do their own laundry, can make a meal without help, etc.

There's a lot that encompasses a "responsible teen". Everyone has different expectations.

It sounds like you do have a responsible kid. The bf's father is a SOB. If my daughter's father or mother were like that, it would be a red flag and I would seriously hope the relationship ended before it got too serious.

I agree that children should be given responsibilities and be independent but I do not agree with the theory of the father.

I started working when I was 13 because my mom was newly divorced and the only way I would have anything is to work. I worked through high school and college, sometimes with 3 jobs. I'm talking work study jobs through the college and I managed a small convenience store from high school through 2 years of college.

I paid my way through college with academic scholarships and working. I bought my first car, I paid all of the expenses. I have a strong work ethic and I feel it is important for my daughter to have that as well.

Fast Forward... our daughter is 20. She is in her 2nd year of college. Her education has always been her "job". She makes money on the side by having regular babysitting jobs and she is on my payroll as an officer of our company.

I believe it is my obligation to provide for her through college so that she graduates from college debt free.

She lives on her own in a condo we own across town. She is given a certain amount of money weekly that covers all of her expenses. She buys her clothes, food, recreation, etc. We did provide her first car, we provide insurance, we pay utilities HOA and taxes associated with the condo.

She is a very driven young girl. Just a couple of weeks ago we received a nice check in the mail from the school and she was awarded her tuition for academic scholarship. She knows that any scholarship funds she is awarded is hers. She has had 3 full semesters of college all with 4.0 GPA while being active in her sorority and other organizations on campus.

She is shadowing me in the family business. She's had a 401K for 3 years now and knows the importance of saving, investing properly and managing day to day life.

I'd say my daughter is mature, responsible and a leader. She was Varsity Cheer captain which was a huge job within itself in high school with huge responsibilities. Yes, she has made some mistakes and like everyone else, we learn from our mistakes.

Children need to be given some freedom to go work, be responsible and independent. If they are sheltered and controlled all of their life, then the parents have done a disservice to the child.

It sounds like you are the sensible parent here. It is called BALANCE

Oh for f's sake. That father is a jerk. Why did he have kids? Your daughter sounds fine and he is expecting way too much. My parents bought me clothes after the age of 16. I was still their responsibility. Poor kid. Again, why do people have kids if they expect them to be so self sufficient and supporting before they're 18? I don't even expect it at age 18 given how important college is.

At 14 I was working a full time job and maintained a 3.8 at school. If I wanted to spend the day at the mall, or with friends, or whatever, I was allowed to because my parent trusted me. By 16/17 I was living in my home as basically an equal adult, coming and going as I pleased. I was still working full time, maintaining a 3.8, and I did not use drugs or drink. If my kids show the same level of maturity at those ages they will be given the same freedoms.

Maintains their own schedule - gets them self up for school, does homework without prompting, coordinates friends, work, activities, etc.

Respectful to others - parents, teachers, friends, time

Maintains good grades and stays on track for graduation.

Involved in activities outside school

Being where they say they are and following curfews

Maintaining personal budget for car, clothing, activities

Where I grew up that sort of parenting was common. The day these kids started high school they got jobs and had to pay for everything themselves. My parents said as long as I was in school they would pay for things for me but I was the only one of my friends that got that treatment.

To me a responsible teen is a mini adult. They make there own schedule and manage themselves with little parent intervention.

When my daughter got jobs as a teen, she then bought many of her own clothes, and I gave her much less money for clothes.

I think it's reasonable for a working teen to pay for some of her own clothes.

But no, they don't pay their own rent, food, etc. at 16.