Adult Child
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Adult Daughter
Asked by C.S. from New York
on October 17, 2012
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My adult daughter will not return my phone calls. For the past two years I have not recieved birthday cards or Mother's Day cards. She did call me this year and wished...
Answers
- perhaps, after a lifetime of angst with you, she has realized she no longer has to bear the guilt she feels you bring down upon her. That is what I am reading in your...
- Your daughter gave you a big clue about why she's not returning your calls. "I'm not going to make her feel guilty." Making her feel guilty may not be your intent bu...
- You are not commenting on why she's angry. Without that, no one can really help. Even with that, it will only be your side. I assume you know why she's angry. What...
18 Year Old Daughter
Asked by A.M. from Columbus
on August 29, 2010
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Hi,
My 18 year old daughter is sleeping overnight with a boyfriend. I have told her that this is not acceptable to me and that it is definetly not ladylike. She to...
Answers
- First of all using terms like "tramp" is NOT appropriate for any mother to use. While your daughter's behavior at this age is not acceptable you need to realize at thi...
- Okay A., After reading the responses you got I have to say this.....especially to the Mom's that seem to think an 18 year old having sex is a major offense. How many ...
- The day that any of my kids, who are living under my roof, thinks its ok to stay the night at a boyfriends/girlfriends home will have their bags packed waiting for the...
Adult Child Issues
Asked by J.P. from Chicago
on April 18, 2011
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Hi Moms,
When does an adult child, mine for instance he is 20 become responsible for their own choices?? My son who is 20 years old almost 21 lives with his dad ...
Answers
- How about tell him he can live there when he gets a FT job and/or enrolls in school? Seriously, I'm all about second chances and there may be a little of him seekin...
- If it were me, I would tell my son what day the move would be on and he would have to come up with his own arrangements by then. He is an adult, this is HIS problem. N...
- if you take him in lay ground rules, he has to have a job by this date, he has to pay X amount of rent by this date, he has to follow these house rules and have him si...
Seeking Advice About Adult Daughter
Asked by A.M. from Washington DC
on January 25, 2013
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My adult daughter (30) lives with her boyfriend over 800 miles away. It's not a question of me not accepting her boyfriend because I do. I have visited her a couple ...
Answers
- You should go talk to a therapist. Sounds like you might be a bit depressed since she moved out. It will make you feel better. And it will also help you determine h...
- As the mother of an adult child, I suggest that you're trying too hard and are making contact too often. Feels like bombardment to me. I suggest that she's busy makin...
- Wish I had good advice to give, but unfortunately our family is having a similar situation with my older sister and I don't know what to tell you. Everyone has gon...
Bad Relationship with My Adult Daughter
Asked by D.D. from New York
on July 28, 2010
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My adult daughter does not want to deal with me at all,she does not want to speak to me.That happens because of my fault. Is there any way to make her forgive me?
I ...
Answers
- I'd start with a letter...and state EXACTLY what you just said to us. Its my fault. I feel guilty. I said aweful words... Then I tell her that I loved her...no m...
- You need to change, and give her time. Write her a letter explaining the sorrow you feel for the way you treated her and let her know how proud you are of her and how ...
- Dear D., I don't know what you did or said but you may have to let some time pass. You cannot make her do anything but maybe you can write to her and tell her you are ...
Adult Child Not Calling, Yes It Is Me Again
Asked by J.V. from New York
on June 8, 2013
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I am trying so hard to not worry, but my 28 year old daughter is doing it again. Long story short, we have had the discussion about acknowledging texts, phone calls or...
Answers
- Back when I was 28 years old and my sweet Mom was still alive I would always give her a general idea of where I was in cases of travel. I'd call when I arrived and she...
- J., It seems to me like she is making boundaries with you. She is 28. She is an adult. You are telling her that if she doesn't acknowledge your texts, etc. that i...
- Sorry mom, she is rude but you need to back off. You can only change your reaction to this, not her behavior.
18 Year Old Reading 50 Shades
Asked by K.D. from Milwaukee
on June 28, 2012
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Hello all,
My co-worker just mentioned that someone had lent her 18 year old daughter the 50 Shades book. She heard me saying I had read it and asked me what it was...
Answers
- She's 18, doesn't matter what I would do. But I censor so things per what I think is right not what others think is right. But then I do so little censoring. People...
- Why on earth does an 18 year old need to read such a book? Heck, I'm 30 and I still don't feel the need to read it. Really, sex should still be so new (or not ev...
- It's a book, and think about movies (Friends with Benefits as one example) that 18 yr olds watch without a second thought. I have read the books, and once you get pas...
Seeking Advice for Angry Parent of Adult Child
Asked by D.D. from Hickory
on November 16, 2012
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Why am I angry with my adult daughter who is married and expecting her first child. They have very limited funds and I am always feeling like I need to help them wi...
Answers
- My advice is to accept that they have a different standard of living than you do.
- She's not asking for help, but yet you still feel like you have to send help? And then you blame her for not being independent enough - even though she didn't ask you...
- You are getting some pretty negative replies. I assume you are angy because you wanted more for her. You wanted to know she would be self sufficient - not just tod...
Need Help with Troubled Adult Child
Asked by D.C. from Boise
on October 29, 2008
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Well Ladies, I have never done this so please be patiant. I have a Foster son, whom I helped raise from the time he was six. I didnt get full care of him until he was ...
Answers
- It might not help but what if it would? Sometimes even as adults we need to know that mom loves us and cares. It might be a wake up call for him if you did track him...
- I'm sorry that has to be such a difficult spot to be in! I honestly think that there is nothing you can do for him, at least not until he wants the help, the best y...
- D., First of all, God bless you and your husbands efforts to love a child as your own flesh and blood. That is a special calling. Second, I have no experience as ...
My Adult Daughter Doesn't Seem to Need Me
Asked by C.H. from Grand Rapids
on August 30, 2010
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How do I get my adult daughter to share the ups and downs of her life with me? I know that she's got a very busy life with a full time job, a beautiful 4 year old son...
Answers
- ...Judging by her reaction to you, ie: defensiveness and then hanging up the phone on you... I would say, that yes, she was avoiding your calls. next, sure she may ...
- Yikes.. She sounds like a young mom with a very busy life. You sound like a wonderful mom. You remind me of my mom.. Many times, she would call or email and I just...
- At this point, she shouldn't need you in most ways. She is an adult now. She will choose what and how she communicates with you. I know you desire more then that, but...
