Nearly everyone of my friends pay for everything that is not covered by the money the kids saved from working through high school and scholarships. They believe the kids should work if they can do both school and work But if their grades fall they can quit work and concentrate on their education. My friends send them tons of food so they don't have to worry about being hungry, they pay their housing and tuition and fees, etc...everything related to being in college. Not one of my friends kids have graduated with less than a stellar GPA and are doctors, engineers, college professors, dentists, etc...not just simple 4 years degrees, all the way through.
Some of my friends are even helping their married kids go back to school by helping with their bills and food. It is an awesome thing to be able to help your kids this way.
I cannot even begin to contemplate doing this for my grandkids I am raising. We live on SSDI and don't always make it month to month. I appreciate the fact that I did go to college and had financial aid, grants, some loans, some scholarships, etc...if it hadn't been for that free money I would not have been able to even see what college was like.
I think if you are financially able then you can pay at least part of their money. They should not have to worry about having food on the table or wondering if they will have electric on when they get home from classes because the money isn't there due to any number of things that can happen, like job loss, hour cut backs, scheduling conflicts that make them choose work or school, etc...
BTW, my friends kids went to Universities like BYU and Bryn Mawr,not cheap or state schools.
I went and read some of the responses after I posted this reply so I am now editing it to tell you abut my college experience. I wanted to go to college right out of high school and got excepted but my parents said no, there was no money and I was not mature enough, they were right.
So, when I was divorced and a single parent my best friend started going to a local community college and I was envious so she took me up and helped me enroll too. I did so well, I was about 26-28 when I started so I had much more experience in life and had learned to prioritize.
After completing an Associates Degree in Psychology I got a full scholarship to OU in Norman Ok. and promptly moved and got settled in. I hated everything about that university, sorry sooners.
I worked in the Drama department in the costume shop sewing and that was like culture shock....there were students with spikes in their noses, tattoos on their faces, pink and purple stripes in their hair, etc...totally out of my element. I dropped out during Spring Break because it was just not working for me. I was so disappointed, I felt like a failure.
My best friend had received a similar scholarship to OSU and loved Stillwater. She took me up and I loved Stillwater immed. I enrolled that day and got my financial aid transferred. She moved back to OKC, I still lived in Norman, and we met at Baptist Hosp. every morning to drive to school. I went the first week and rented a campus apartment in married student housing since I had a daughter living with me. I knew I was going to live in Stillwater the rest of my life, I had found my home town. She had hurt feelings about moving to OKC so we could ride together and me moving to Stillwater but she rmoved back to Stillwater on next block in married student housing and we remained friends.
I was doing very well and had plans of graduating with 2 different degrees, in May with my BS in Sociology with a minor in Social Work and then take 2 classes in the summer and graduate with a 2nd BA, this one in Psychology. I had already networked my grad program and was a shoe-in for acceptance.
I was working a full time job at an institution for developmentally disabled adults and that was the field my Masters and eventually Doctoral degree were heading. I wanted to be a lobbyist for rights for this particular population and work for the state in the Developmental Disabilities Service Devision of the Department of Human Services as a case manager. My future was bright, grades were good, I had acceptance in my field and credibility.
During my last semester I was attacked and beaten so bad I ended up in the hospital for days. I had PTSD and was never able to return to school, I didn't leave my campus apartment for months except with a few "safe" friends. They eventually evicted me because I was no longer a student or able to pay since FA was not there anymore.
To make a short story even longer, I had some loans. Only about $12,000. I was not able to pay on them, I was debilitated. I was home bound, my daughter went to live with her dad, my life fell apart.
I simply had no financial way to pay my loans back and about 10 years ago I had a frank discussion with a man calling to "make me" make payments. I asked him how much they were and he gave me a huge figure. My loan amount was over $60,000 at that time and the minimum payment is over $1500 a month and that only paid the interest, no actual loan amount.
We never know what the future holds, I took loans to pay for extra, like dependable transportation, a new sewing machine to make our clothes, warm clothing for Winter, you know those silly things we don't really need but just want. I wish with all my heart I could go back and have a second chance to do it differently. I would never take a single cent out in loans.
That's why I feel so stongly that if parents can help they should do what is needed to keep kids from getting loans or even working if possible. The kids might have something happen and it will be with them the rest of their lives.