Mamapedia Voices

Lizzie and Lucy are 6 year old fraternal twins. Both have thick auburn curls and chocolate brown eyes, but that’s where the similarity ends. They are fraternal twins, and like all other siblings they have different personalities, talents and temperaments. They are especially close, as most twins are, since they were born together, and together they learned that a cry leads to mommy’s attention, smiling begets another smile, and anger engages – and pushes people away. They are each other’s almost constant companion. Lizzie and Lucy know one other better than even their parents know them. They are exquisitely sensitive to each other’s feelings, wants and desires- and they can also push each other’s buttons like no one else can.

When Lizzie and Lucy’s Mom, Jessica, supervises them on a playdate with their friend, Emily, she’s amazed by how differently the girls approach a social situation. Lizzie Immediately greets Emily’s Mom with a resounding, “Hi!”, runs up to Emily and dives into plans for the playdate. “Lucy and I brought our new poly-pockets and we want to play pet store!” Lucy, on the other hand, hangs back with mom, holding her hand and staying quiet. Jessica, a relaxed and confident parent, allows Lucy to take her time to warm up to the situation, and respects Lucy’s own pace. When Emily’s Mom comments, within Lucy’s earshot, “Wow she is so shy!” Jessica casually responds, “Lucy has her own style — as we all do”. Jessica then offers to walk Lucy upstairs to Emily’s room where the other two girls are already playing. Lucy says ok, and then happily joins her sister and friend; quietly at first, then with joyful abandon….More

Every May, in honor of Mother’s Day, Salary.com announces how much the work of a stay-at-home mother is worth. Her annual salary, or value, since in the real world the salary is a fantasy: A whopping $122,732. (And that’s based on only 10 job functions typically performed by stay-at-home moms.) It’s nice to be valued.

What isn’t so nice is that although stay-at-home moms are given lip service about their value and importance, full-time stay-at-home motherhood is not recognized in any way as the job it really is. While I’m not saying stay-at-home mothers (and dads) should be paid a salary, per se, it sure would be nice if those years as primary caregivers of young children weren’t so potentially damaging to a full-time parent’s future Social Security and Medicare benefits.

(A caveat: For purposes of this discussion, let’s just assume that Social Security will be around when you become eligible to collect retirement benefits. Currently, the age at which people born after 1960 can collect full benefits is 67. Please put out of your mind the possibility that by time you’re 67-years-old the full-benefit age will be 92.)…More

My Motherʼs name was Agnes. She was the most beautiful woman I ever knew; inside and out. She was strong yet soft. She taught me how to be a mother, a woman and a good friend. She was brave when I needed courage. She had wisdom when I felt that I knew it all. She believed in me when I had doubts about myself. She sang songs, baked cookies and taught me to dance the Hully Gully in our living room.

When she hugged me, she smelled like lilacs and lavender. She taught me the value of a good cup of tea in a china cup and a bath at the end of a long day. Growing up, our house smelled like Lemon Pledge and Lipton tea. We always had the best junk food in our house. My friend and I would try to sneak more than she would allow but Mom always seemed to know what we were up to.

As a Grandmother, she had a kitchen drawer filled with hidden treasures, like Milky Way Bars and Kit Kat bars. The grand kids say that my Mother had the best coloring books money could buy. My Mother was a gymnast, a dancer, a nurseʼs aide and a seamstress. She loved knitting, and the color purple, carnations, New Hampshire vacations, the Autumn leaves, and most importantly, the Boston Red Sox. She taught me about life and about love. She taught me how to turn a house into a home, and at Christmas, into a Village at the North Pole. She made me eat my vegetables, but let my children have root beer with breakfast….More

From pictures and video to scrapbooks and blogs, there are many ways to record events and memories of your kids. But the one that means the most to me is a simple letter.

When my first child was born my husband and I wrote her a letter when we were in the hospital. The letter detailed the day’s events and recorded our thoughts and feelings about her birth. We also wrote about her and what her arrival meant to us. A quick re-read of the letter takes me back. It helps me remember the name of the nurse we liked the best and how excited and sleep deprived we were. Thanks to the letter, we won’t forget, and one day, she will know.

Each year on her birthday, I write her a letter. I include all of the little things about her that she is doing, the words she knows, who her friends are, her favorite toys, and funny things she has done. For example, she calls her little brother “son” like we do.

The letter doesn’t take long and it’s just once a year, so it is easy to do. It is my opportunity to tell her in my own words how grateful I am that she is my daughter.

Of course, I do the same thing for my son and we have electronic files for each child with birthday letters in them. I also keep a hard copy as a backup.

One day, when they are old enough, they will get the letters. And I plan to continue to write them for the rest of my life.

What are some ways you record memories of your kids?

Heather Robinson is a mother of two and the author of TheMommyhood, a blog dedicated to tips and solutions for busy moms.

Wouldn’t it be nice if clothes and toys weren’t scattered across the floor, or if every shoe knew the whereabouts of its mate?

Having a clean and organized space gives us a sense of control. It’s, undoubtedly, a nice feeling. When things are in their place, everything is as it should be. We love this feeling and are willing to put up a fight with our kids in order to get it. If only, they were as enamored with the feeling as we are.

For better or for worse, the need for everything to be in its place is not really one that children share. Clothes on the floor, unmade beds and missing items are all part of their experience. So, we nag, we punish, we reward, we bribe and we yell. Sometimes, they conform; sometimes they rebel. Does the struggle ever end?

The more important question, however, is ‘What is the goal?’. While having a clean room is certainly a comfort to us, we also want to raise children who appreciate cleanliness and orderly lifestyles. We tend to think that, unless we demand it of them as children, they couldn’t possibly posses the skill as adults. But is that really true? How likely is it that, after years of being forced to maintain certain requirements for a clean room, they will become adults who suddenly love to clean?…More