College education...who Pays? Parent or Student?

Unless we as a nation can get over our recent abhorrence to taxes for the common good, no one but the very rich will be able to afford to go to college by the time our young children are grown. We are funding our colleges at less than 50% of what we did when I first went to college. The cost of a 4 year plus college education is astronomical and unaffordable to most already. We are burdening our latest young adult generation with debt that they may never fully recover from.

For those of you who say "well I worked my way through and took out a little in loans..." have you LOOKED at the current price of colleges and their continuing increases in tuition? I got an undergrad degree in 1983 with help from my parents, work, and loans of about $5,000. The total price of my 4 year degree was about $10,000 including room and board. The price of the current degree I am working on costs over $3,000 per CLASS.

At the same time, the % of jobs/careers requiring higher education is sky rocketing. The majority of work in the future will require an educated, computer-literate workforce, just when we as a country have decided that it's "everyman for himself" when it comes to this needed education. We are in trouble...

7 moms found this helpful

That can't be answered with one answer, it differs for each family's financial situation and the personality of the child.

I had a friend whose family was very wealthy. They had one son who was a high achiever, and they paid for his Ivy League college. He did very well. They had another son who was lazy and they made him pay for his own college with the idea that if he did well, they would reimburse him for the semesters he did well in, after he graduated. He flunked out of 2 schools. He did finally get his act together! But I see why they did what they did.

So it's up to the family. I think it's a personal decision, and there is no wrong answer!

6 moms found this helpful

My Mom saved the child support payments and that paid for college for us.
I only had 1 yr of student loans to pay - (I switched majors so it took me one extra year to get my degree).
I had to commute from home - I could not afford to live on campus and I had work/study jobs at school.
My husband did it all through student loans.
It took him awhile to pay it off, but he did it.

We have a college fund for our son, and we'll help all we can, but he knows he's still going to have to work (and earn scholarships) in order to get it done.
If he has to take out some loans we can help him with that.

Our neighbor is losing her house because she insists on paying for her 2 girls in college and she can't afford their college and her mortgage payments at the same time.
She's working 3 jobs and her husband works full time and she's insisting the girls NOT work while they are in school.
She's such a great neighbor but I think she's got a blind spot where financial planning is concerned.
She's determined to martyr/sacrifice herself over this.

We'll help our son, but we're not going to bankrupt ourselves in the process.
There's nothing wrong with doing community college for a few years and then transferring to a 4 yr school to finish up your degree.
If he has to live at home and commute (like I did), then that's what he'll do.
There's more than one way to skin this cat.

6 moms found this helpful

My husband and I felt it was our responsibility to pay. NOW, if finances got to point were we couldn't then I would not bankrupt the family to pay for their school.

Our rule was we would pay in state ONLY. However, yes, our son goes out of state; however, the Army pays for that. We only pay room and board. Our daughter just graduated in May and she is debt free! If she goes for her MBA, that's on her. Both kids are very appreciative of our efforts and they work hard as well. The boy is in the Army National Guard so I have no problem helping out!!!

5 moms found this helpful

First of all, we only had one child, because we knew we would only be able to afford one child. We felt college was part of it and we could help with one, but more than that, would have been a HUGE burden that we we were not going to be able to overcome. This was just our own thoughts on this. We knew our limit.

We had always talked to her about how after High school, our daughter would then go on to college.. Even as a toddler we discussed it.

We do not have a lot of money and were also honest about this.

We told our daughter she would need to work hard in school and make good grades so she could get Scholarships and Grants.

My mother purchased the Texas Tomorrow plan, we all assumed our daughter would attend a college here in the state.. Instead she wanted to attend school out of state.

Again a discussion about lack of money and what she would need to do to make it work..

Ended up she was awarded scholarships and grants, very generous amounts because of her amazing grades and scores. She applied to 9 top tier colleges and Universities all accepted her and awarded her with Academic Scholarships.

There was NO WAY, she could have worked and made the incredible grades she made in college. She was a double major and got everything she could get out of that experience. Instead she worked each summer, and was fortunate that one of her grand mothers sent her $200. per month.

Our daughter was a good steward of her money. She actually SAVED money during college.

There are a few loans now that we are all paying..

It will depend on the child as to what education is right for them and what you all as a family can afford to do and what your child will be capable of, during their college years.

IF we had told her all along she was going to have to pay for her college, I think it would have been fine, but instead we said, you will go to college and we will help as much as possible, we just do not have a lot of money.

5 moms found this helpful

I am one of the minority parents on here who believes if I bring a child into the world, it is my responsibility to get her out of college debt free.

We started saving before she was born and she will start college in the fall of 2013 and most likely it will be Duke (her first choice, she has the grades and she is applying this fall for early admission) She is very appreciative of what we have done for her. She sees a lot of students with little to no parental support and that stinks.

We see students who are left to fend for themselves if they have a desire to go to college and it is very hard on them to get the quality of education they need while having the financial worry.

YES, we will pay 100% because she is a very driven child, strong ethics for education, and works very hard. College has never been an option in her mind, coming from a family where higher education was priority and she sees the financial aspect of that as well. I am positive that she will have scholarships which will help and anything leftover in her college fund is hers to keep. With the pricing for Duke, leftover $$ is unlikely, she is fully funded at this time.

We are huge planners and have been that way for her college fund, our retirement, etc. We do live debt free.

I firmly believe it is a parental responsibility. It is no surprise that these children we have will grow up and most do want to go to college. There are some students who are just plain lazy and others who are not cut out for college.

Our daughter is on my payroll with our company shadowing me in business. I don't pay her much but she understands the daily function of running a business, importance of reports to the IRS, etc. She is also a very favored babysitter in the neighborhood and had 4 regular customers. She makes about $80 for each night she babysits.

Bottom line... I will not stand by and have my daughter begin her life after college with thousands of dollars in debt. We are just not that way and we have planned for this for years. This is something we WANT to give our daughter and it is happening.

5 moms found this helpful

We started saving for college for each child as soon as they were born. We are both college grads and realized that we wanted to give our children the best education we could to give them the best opportunity. We encouraged them to go to college from early on and we wanted to impress upon them that they could go. Sometimes it meant keeping a car a year or two longer than we would have liked but we were able to put a significant amount away. The kids had jobs during high school for incidentals and gas and had to save some for college expenses. They worked part time in college because they needed to have "some skin in the game" and work experience was vital on resumes coming out of college. We were able to cash flow the rest of the expenses. We also stressed that this was a four year commitment on our parts so it did not become a long drawn out college career. (if they had been looking at a 5 yr legitimate program-that would have been ok too)
You spend your money where your priorities are: my childrens' education was important to us. Now we have started a college fund for my granddaughter-so she will have more options when she starts college in 18 years!

5 moms found this helpful

My daughter is 19 and going into her second year of college next month. I am the one paying for it and have always planned it that way (she was born a long time ago). There is no way on this planet I would have her start out her adult life with that kind of debt and no way she would fight the crowds at community college. She is very, very appreciative and works extremely hard!!

** Added - I'm 46 now so I started college back in 1984 when it was very easy for me to pay MY own way waiting tables and worg the vet ER. It is not that case now. How many posts do we see from parents here that are trying to figure out a way to get into school after multiple children because they can't afford their life?? I don't understand the flat out refusal that "they are on their own at 18. It is very easy to live with appreciation for this, kids are not always self entitled monsters. My daughter is so appreciative that she actually paid for her first quarter (she does have scholarships and grants as well, great student) because she felt bad taking my money. She has a job waiting tables part time for an average of about $25 and she is a great save. I fixed that situation as soon as I found out.

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I was raised by a single dad, who had 4 children. Making ends meet day-to day was difficult enough... a college savings account was impossible! Even though I started working when I was 15, my money went straight back into the household, buying things I needed, (school clothes, supplies, hygiene stuff...) Some for my siblings, and even helping out with the food/utility bills.

So my education was 100% my responsibility. It took me a few years, but I have FINALLY started school.

The funny thing is that by the time my youngest sister graduated high school, my dad's financial burden had lightened considerably... So he decided to help her pay for school. He paid EVERYTHING for her first year... and she failed every single class... I am willing to bet that if that money had come out of HER pocket, she would have worked a lot harder at it!

So, I think it's definitely NICE when parents are able and willing to pay for school... BUT the child definitely needs to take some responsibility.

5 moms found this helpful

I payed for all of my own education. If my husband and I can help our kids we absolutely will but if we can't we won't and I will have no guilt about it. As I watch kids that had all their education funded I see they are less likely to understand the great sacrifices that go into providing such a gift and don't appreciated it. I want my kids to understand going to college isn't about the parties they will be attending and the freedom they feel they have. It is about learning and advancing oneself and should not be wasted.

5 moms found this helpful

My husband and I both have a similar perspective on this. Both of us have gone to college for essentially free due to grants/ scholarships and such. Student loans cover the rest until they can get paid off. Both of us come from poor families. I say if you have the money to throw at your children, do it!

4 moms found this helpful

I belive it should be a shared responsibility. A parent should plan to pay for college, but the child should be responsible for part of those expenses. A child who has had to work for and pay for part of their education will take it much more seriously than a child who has had it handed to them.

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If a parent/parents can afford to pay for a child to attend college, I believe that to be the ideal. Scholarships/financial aid/grants aside, student loans are bordering criminal these days and should be avoided at all costs. I believe that a kid (under normal academic circumstances) should absolutely be required to hold a job during summers - at a minimum - and be expected to live within a "student's budget" during their college years.

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Well, we made it manditory for our kids to go to college and they pay for it. We started encouraging them to save for college in HS. My son is in college and paid for it all. My daughter is a SR in HS and is saving for college. It can be done. :) We gave my son $500 for a graduation gift to help out.

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I think a child should have their education paid for, granted that the parents can afford to do that for them without huge burden. College is a huge commitment in itself and takes dedication, along with social responsibility. A child should be able to focus on their life in college, and in the end, come out AHEAD, and not be burdened with starting their professional career, and young lives, with ridiculous amounts of debt. Just my opinion... :)

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I think the parents should help out if they can and what they cannot comfortably cover the student needs to cover.

3 moms found this helpful

All of my kids and their spouces have some college or their degree except one. He sells insurance and I've not been able to get a reason why from him.

From where we live we are within easy commuting distance to a dozen or more colleges. I told my kids I would supply room and board if they wanted to live at home and commute to college. I also supplied money for books and tutition depending on what my finances were at the time.

I want all of my kids to get a degree. But I can't force them to study and learn. If social events are more important than college and learning, then that's their choice.

Every time my kids came home with an unacceptable report card, I took them out to pull weeds and cut grass or dig a ditch. Then when we came indoors after a long work in the yard, we'd have "poor" foods like pigs feet and sour kraut. When ever they objected I'd tell them that with grades like they brought home they will be stuck with minimum wage jobs and the work we did and the food we ate will be the kinds of food they will be able to afford.

I want all my kids to succeed. But I cannot force them to be successful. I helped five of my kids get real good jobs. ($20+ hr) Two of them didn't care enough to do a good job. They lost ther jobs and had to take $9 jobs. Things were awful for them. Now, if the same opportunity came up, they would work a lot harder to get and keep those jobs. They had to learn the lesson the hard way.

If my kids need a loan to get through college, I will help them if I can, but college and getting through it depends on how much they want it, not how much I want it.

ETA: FYI: I worked real hard and stayed at home my first two years so my mom and dad paid for my room and board. I got an ROTC Scholarship and that paid for two years of college. I graduated with a BS degree in Finance and my total student loans was less than $2000. I went in the Army when soldiers were extremely unpopular (Thank you Jane Fonda) and paid off my loans.

Good luck to you and yours.

3 moms found this helpful

I feel that if the student is living at home, going to school and working part time, then the parent should pay for it. That's what my parents did for me. My sister is on her 4th year of a very nice private college in San Diego. My parents are paying over $20000 a year for her to go there. She lives on campus but pays for her own car and food and any extras. She lives at home in the summer and works full time and saves up her money for the school year. We are saving now for our kids to go to college. My husband is stuck with student loans and we will be paying them off until the day we die. It is a horrible never ending nightmare.
So, yes, I believe that the parents should pay for college

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Children's responsibility. Because they have more years left to pay it off, and we can't go into our dotage with loads of debt.

Also, when they are 18 they are technically "adults." It's terrible for all concerned that college is now as expensive as it is, but it's a fact of life.

When your kids leave home and you are left alone, you will discover that they are no longer extensions of you but individuals with lives of their own. At that point, when you are old and worn out, you may not want all of your extra money going to them, but may instead want to pamper yourself a little before you die.

But maybe that's just me.

ETA: If people can afford it, paying for your kids' college is great, if the kids actually work hard and deserve it. However, statistically, most Americans cannot afford it. The average American income these days is what, somewhere between $50-75K? (I don't want to take the time to look it up, but I know it's not much more than that.) I can tell you that if you make that much, and you have two kids, at a cost of maybe $200K for both of them to go to a 4 year college, that is hardly affordable on that income. And statistically, most Americans have minimal savings. So either most of the respondents on this site have an above-average income, or...? Even saving for 20 years, most people can't come up with that amount. I have nothing against the notion of paying for your kids' college, but I just can't imagine how most people are going to do it, knowing the statistics.

3 moms found this helpful

I don't think it's my "obligation" to pay for it, but rather a "want" to help pay for it. I want to try to give my children the best education I can afford to help them become financially secure adults. I also think that if the child is able to apply for scholarships, that should be done as well.

I was fortunate to have parents who paid for my college education in full. However, I have a couple of friends whose parents did not (that could definitely afford to or had grandparents who offered), but chose not to because they felt their kid had to pave their own way. These friends are still paying off student loans today. Personally, I don't want to burden my child with debts if I can afford to help.

I hope to afford to send my child to college with some spending money - for fun things like going out to eat/movies, etc... But they will have to choose how to spend it and where, and when it runs out, it's gone and they're on there own. Now, if a child wants to join a sorority or fraternity, they're going to have to get a part time job to pay for that.

That's just my 2 cents!

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I don't see it as my actual responsibility, but I am doing it. And I knew I'd do it when I gave birth to those children. The month my first child was born was the month I paid off my student loans. And I started having kids in my 30's.

I feel lucky that my current college student has a merit scholarship. I pay the rest, in addition to his small unsubsidized federal loan that anyone can get, regardless of need, which starts charging interest the day you take it out. It is in HIS name, and it's a student loan that will choke the life out of him if he doesn't pay it. (You probably know about those - you can't even get rid of them in bankruptcy.) The reason he has that loan? Not because I can't afford to pay that part of his tuition. Because in addition to the carrot of getting to enjoy a top rated education and the best time of his life (isn't college at this age the best time of your life?) it's also a STICK. I pay off his loan every semester that he makes good grades. If he doesn't make good grades, HE is on the hook for that semester. He can either put all his summer earnings towards paying it off, or wait til he finishes college and pay it with his first real job earnings. OR, he can leave college debt free just by doing what he's there for anyway - studying enough to make good grades.

(Added - btw Gamma, there is NO co-signature on this loan. 18 year olds are able to take out these loans ON THEIR OWN - my son has NO co-signer. Just wanted to let you know.)

Quite frankly, it's more important, money-wise, for him to make good enough grades to keep his scholarship. But by having a real loan in his name, the STICK, he is "owning" his college education, AND, if he does well enough for my taking care of the loan, we will never have to worry about that scholarship money being in jeopardy.

Smart thinking on my part, if I do say so myself.

He will have plenty to worry about when he gets out of school. Job, a car that isn't 16 years old (yeah, his car will be 16 when he graduates), apartment, another person in his life if he has one. I don't give him his life on a silver platter. But I want him to have college - the half-way house to life. I'm happy to give him a great crack at it.

I was SO happy to have my college years - my parents couldn't afford any of mine. Scholarships, grants and loans paid my way. Thank goodness for what's available out there these days to make it so kids can go to college, whatever form it falls under.

D.

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Everyone? :) I would say that if you want your child to be responsible for it though, tell them this from the VERY BEGINNING please! My dad told me college was taken care of, and wouldn't let me get a savings account when I was a teen, citing that it would distract me from my studies. I did get a job anyway (I cited car insurance and won that argument). But then things changed (divorce, etc) and suddenly, a month before school starts, I have no money to go? That was devastating and set me on a course that should have never ever happened.

For MY family: we started a 529 for college funds while pregnant, putting in money every month AND 2% of every single bill that accepts a credit card payment goes to our 529 as well. We've been teaching our children from the very beginning about work, saving, tithing, charity, saving, wise spending, all of it. My 2 year old gets 5 cents/day allowance (plus bonuses) for his little chores, and my 5 year old gets 25 cents/day allowance (plus bonuses for extra jobs he takes on---like he wanted a cool new lunchbox even though he already has a perfectly good one....so he helped me weed the front gardens and along the side of the house, and he got the new lunchbox and a couple beyblades too. We're teaching them from the BEGINNING. So even though we are actively saving for them, they will also know how to earn money, handle what they earn, and work to save for things in the future, so they will pay a portion as well. And of course, we'll encourage them as they grow up to do what it takes to earn assistance (scholarships, grants, whatever) as well.

My plan is to give each child a nice downpayment on a sensible car for their first vehicle. My plan: they can get their license for their 16th birthday, will need to work part time, maintain their grades, and if they can do that and pay for insurance and save for a year, then we will get them a downpayment (nearly the whole cost, if they are reasonable) for a car for the next birthday. But I want them to make payments and work for it also, because people respect what they work for more than they respect free stuff. For college/books: we'll have money for them, but we will want them (and guide them) to do their best to find funding themselves, to earn money, etc. Whatever money they save by scoring scholarships, grants, or rewards is money they can count as having earned. We will subsidize whatever is needed, but that will totally depend on their grades among other things. I'm not against them getting MODERATE student loans, just to build a little credit history, though that would be closely monitored and we won't let them start life drowning in debt as long as they follow our advice. (Enough to learn how to handle money with some guidance, I'm ok with, but in general we are a family that does not believe in debt!)

Whatever is left in their accounts that we've opened for them is money that is available to them after they graduate, to start their lives. I remember my dad just flat telling me as a teenager (decades before I got married) that he personally thought it best to have a moderately priced wedding and have some money left for important things like a house (ha). That made sense to me, and even though I was an adult so we didn't need my dad to help us with a house or whatever, we DID realize and understand (because of my dad's educating me when I was young) to make reasonable, moderate choices and that way I'm not drowning in debt and have money left to start my new life...that's what we did.

I'd love my kids to be able to get into an Ivy League school, but there will only be a certain amount of money available. Realistically, they'll have to earn scholarships to those. That's a bit sad. I had a friend who received a scholarship to NYU but only went 1 year because her parents couldn't afford the living expenses there. She ended up in Denver and did just fine. I guess that's where some life lessons (living expenses, how to earn money, save for desires and necessities, and sometimes some disappointments) come into play. I will encourage my kids to go to good schools fairly locally, especially their first year, but won't demand it. There are benefits to staying local that I would present, but in the end, they do have to spread their wings. I will be the mom that will let them know that upon high school graduation, they get to start paying rent. That rent will be ridiculously low as long as their grades are kept up and basic rules still followed.

We're saving diligently, but we're putting more towards our retirement than we are for their college.....because we have 30 years from NOW before we have to retire, and they will have nearly 50 years after they graduate to pay off that debt and retire.

3 moms found this helpful

being that my grandparents helped both my parents and my parents helped me...I do feel a parent should help...mine covered tuition and dorm...I worked to cover books, supplies and spending money.

I mean my husband was tossed out his front door as soon as he graduated. His mom didn't help him make any plans for his future or help him figure out what in the world he was going to do. Thank God he is a smart man and went and enlisted in the military...he says it was the best thing he ever did. He is no longer military...but through them he was able to go to college all the way through his Master's degree, and now has a well paying job.

If a parent can't afford to help financially there are many many ways a parent can help a child...pushing them to take duel credit courses, advising them to go to a community college for their first two years and get the basics out of the way for cheaper than a four year school. Allow them to live at home without rent while they are in school (as long as they are respectful of this wonderful opportunity). Help them look into trade schools if a four year degree isn't for them. Helping them research loans and figure out if how much they need to borrow will be affordable to pay off when they graduate. If it is $200,000 in loans and they will start at $30,000...then no, they will need to work more and take school more slowly so maybe they only borrow $75,000 and it takes them another two years of school...but they aren't drowning in debt. Help them find scholarships, etc etc etc...

I do feel it is a parent's job to raise a child to be able to support themselves and a family. Getting their career in place is part of that job...now if a child/young adult doesn't want the parent's help then that is another matter.

3 moms found this helpful

There is not one answer. My parents took out a small loan (less than 10k) to help me and my sister with our expenses while we were in college. Other than that we both had jobs, worked full time in the summer and had part time jobs during the school year, in addition to taking out our own student loans.

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I will help my kids as much as our finances allow. I do not want them to graduate with a lot of debt and I do not want to jepordize our retirement. Therefore, I will encourage them to go to a school we can afford. They would need scholarships to be able to afford an Ivy League school and depending on their major I do not think the cost of an Ivy League education is worth it.

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It is solely the responsibility of the student/child. If I am in a position to help I will. No one should ever expect to have their higher level education handed to them on a silver platter.

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We believe a college completes a child's academic development, making her/him ready to take on a good job and stand up on their own feet. We started a college fund for DD, and hopefully we'll be able to save enough for her 15 yrs down the lane, to be able to afford a good college for her. After she graduates, is when her life will begin.
If, and only if, DD already has some developmental plans, and wants to take a loan for part of the fees or some such individual initiative, we will allow her to take up the challenge (although we'd be ready to support her if she can't manage it in the way).

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I don't understand your black and white framework for this question. I think that If a parent can afford it they should help to the degree that they are able, assuming they have responsible children. There is so much middle ground I don't see why you are making it an either or. My parents paid for mine as well as my living expenses (they did the same for my sisters and we all took our studies seriously graduating with A's and B's). They had the means and I am very grateful for that. My husband's parents paid for a portion (less than half) of his undergrad and he got out loans for the rest. Nothing wrong with that, they had little means and 4 children to educate. When he was in a doctorate program they helped some with his living expenses. I think dedicated parents help to the degree they can, even if all they can afford are the books.

I think some parents are smart to make make their children have a stake in the game IF those kids have been notoriously low achievers or have not proven themselves to be responsible.

I had one friend who's father was a man of decent means (a Dentist), who did not help with college. He was divorced and remarried (guess his new wife didn't see educating his children as a good way of spending their money). I also think he was a crumby dad and that his selfishness really showed through when he didn't help her. None the less she turned out just fine.

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Our goal is to help pay at least 50%. My oldest is 15 and will most likely start at a junior college then transfer. I'm a stay at home mom so our plan is I will go back to work full time and that money will go towards saving for the university.

It stinks that (in CA) the colleges are cutting classes and raising their tuition costs. They are forcing kids to spend more than 4 years trying to get their degree.

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We plan to do a shared repsonsibilty approach. We will help to the extent that we can. Our kids are 2 years apart and so we will have two in college at one time for a few years. My parents paid our loans while we were in school and we came out of school with the responsibility to pay them. We knew that going in and were grateful for the help they gave.

I think everyone has to do what they can, and there is no right or wrong answer to this.

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I feel like I got from my parents was fair: They paid all expenses for 4 years of college -board, books, class ... I paid for my goceries and car insurance/gas by working part time while going to school. My last year (year #5) I had to pay myself. Dad helped me find a low-interest loan that I wouldn't have to start paying back until I graduated. But yep, year #5 I paid for all by myself.

My husband, thinks that we should NOT pay for our son's college. "Let him earn it himself. I'm not his bank." My son is 4. Dad works hard to make a great income. So I think he wants our son to have the same "work hard ethic" that he has and not feel entitled to anything. We'll see in 14 years what happens.

Funny - I went to 5 years of college to be able to teach for 5 years before I had my son. Now I am a SAHM. My husband went to not one college class and he makes more money than I ever did, more than my bro&sil combined. I think there is maybe something to this work ethic / striving to support yourself and not getting 'handouts', even if they are from your parents.

@8Kids - I am stealing that idea - maybe not eating pigs feet, but maybe Ramen nooodles for dinner or something like that, when poor grades arise. We live out in the country. We have always offered for our friends to come let their children pull weeds or be on "rock detail" and move rocks from here to there for bad choices/behavior.

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I paid for my own education. My dad gave me $250 and then wanted to know what happened to it the first semester. Books, dad, books. He signed for a plus loan and I paid that back myself. Personally, I expect my kids to work to help pay for their education.I think it teaches a sense of responsibility with money and knowing how to manage it. I tease my older kids that when the 2 younger ones get to college, they should be done and working so they can pay for it.

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Students cannot take out loans without parents co-signing. I have friends who's adult children could not get student loans even though they had lived on their own for a year or two.

Their parents had to co-sign the loan until they were a certain age. The parents income was high enough that they didn't qualify for FA too. They lived out on their own but until they reached a certain age their parents were the responsible party. Now that's here in Oklahoma at both OU and OSU but I do believe that FA regulations are Federal.

The reason I know this is the parents in question were wanting to serve a mission for the church but could not until they got their adult children's student loans paid off. They had been required to sign for them so they felt it was their debt.

I think if the parents have the financial means they should want their children to have the best and highest level of education they can get. If they are not financially able to pay then they have an obligation to help their child find all the free money for college they can get, including FA and going to the sites to find the numerous scholarships and other forms of FA that are out there.

This is not something every 18 year old person can fathom. It is a lot more than just a quick decision. They have no idea how getting student loans will effect them once they get out of school. The long long long years of paying hundreds of dollars per month. Maybe even more than a house payment. They do not realize they may not be able to afford a house or new vehicles until their student loans are paid off.

My friend that lives in Shepherd MT told me when they lived here in Oklahoma that her husband was still paying his student loans off. They got married after college. Their oldest child was nearly in Jr. High. Their loan payment was almost the same as their house payment. He finally got it paid off right after their 4th child was born. Nearly 15-17 years later. That's a lot of years to be paying student loans they may not have really needed if someone had helped them understand there is a lot of free money out there for those wiling to not be full of pride.

So, to summarize.

Parents should work with their child to make sure college is what they really want and if they do then the parents need to assist their kids with getting the best available money to pay for their classes.

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Ideally, I believe both should but not all families are able to. JMO.

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this one will get tense!
we paid for our kids' community college but for university it was up to them. my elder finally got through, but he has student loans that make my throat close up when i think about them (he switched his major in his senior year....eep!) my younger starts at towson next week. he's a lot more fiscally prudent so hopefully will get through with less.
there's just no one good answer.
but i sure hope that ryan's proposal to double the interest rates on student loans doesn't happen!
khairete
S.

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I paid for my own with grants and loans - my parents would have paid for oit if they could have afforded it, but they couldn't.
My daughter is paying for her own with grants and loans for the same reason.

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In my family growing up - it was understood that my parents would pay for our Bachelor's Degree - everything included and we each got a car. My brother and I each paid for our own Master's Degree.

We started a college fund for our children and if we are able to, I would like to pay for their college in full. I do not want them to start fresh out of college in debt. But we will see where we are at when they get there. If we cannot afford to pay for it, we will do the best we can and they will have to cover the rest.

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My dad came from a very poor family and put himself through college 100%. No loans, just work. My parents didn't have the means to put me through college on a free ride, but they paid for my car and insurance. I could have gone to schools with full scholarships, but that wasn't where I wanted to go. I ended up with about $120,000 worth of college in $25,000 in student loans. I worked the entire time, at one point, having three jobs working 7 days a week. I could have paid off my student loans my first year out of college, but I locked in on a super low interest rate, so what was the point?

That said, I am planning on helping my son out in college. He has a 529 plan and a savings account. I am not sacrificing saving for my retirement and paying off my mortgage early to have him fully funded for school. Kids can take out loans for college. You can't take out a loan for retirement. The private school I went to had so many spoiled rich kids who didn't care. I sure did, since I was footing the bill.

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What a question! You should get all sorts of answers. Of course, you phrased it in such a way that it seems almost an either-or question, which it isn't.

When I was of college-going age, back in the dinosaur days before widespread student loans (or even non-academic scholarships), my parents didn't have a lot of money but they were determined that we would be college-educated. My father put himself through college, because his parents either couldn't or wouldn't, and he knew it was very hard to do. He took out loans from a bank, and my mother got a job, and between them they paid for two college educations. I think I would have been better off, from a maturity standpoint, if I'd been expected to put something in the pot, but my dad had strong feelings about its being his responsibility. He also sent me to secretarial school one summer - in the days before computers - and I really got a lot out of it, which was surprising since I was (and am) not a particularly practical-minded person.

I had a high school friend whose parents said to their children when they started high school, "Start working now, on weekends and in summers, and save your money. When you get to college time, if you'll pay for the first two years of college, we'll pay for the last two." One of their kids decided college wasn't worth it; the other two followed through and graduated.

I've known people who put themselves through college on the eight-year plan, or even the sixteen-year plan - alternating working and studying. Sometimes they have worked at the very school where they are studying. They have seen this as an alternative to borrowing, so that they're not obligated to anyone.

My children went to college at various places - public and private, in state and out of state. They didn't have the best of everything, but they got by. It was tough, but they were able to make it through with help from us and their grandmother - without having to take out a lot of loans. I am so thankful, because college loans are one of the top burdens for people after they get out of school. It can be crushing. Even bankruptcy doesn't excuse the obligation to pay back school loans.

If I had it to do my education over again, on my own, I think I would do almost anything to avoid borrowing. It's too much of a trap. I'd learn all the practical skills I could so that I could get work easily, and talk to the school I was interested in about how I could study there in a way I could afford. If I wanted a private school, I'd do the very same thing. Sometimes private schools can be very helpful on that score.

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I payed 4 my own college education. I think it made me work harder knowing it was my money that I was wasting if I got bad grades. I took more pride in my school work. I think people tend to take things for granted if everything is handed to them, and thus the value of the thing given isn't as high.

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Hubby & I both came from families where college was paid for (I did get scholarships to cover what my parents didn't). We are forever grateful and have college funds for all three children. My in-laws have also contributed a significant amount towards their education. We think it is important!

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When I went to college, my parents paid for my room and board and I paid for everything else. I got married the summer after my first year of college and then it was no longer my parents responsibility.

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I think that if a parent can afford it then they should pay for their kids college.

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I've started to respond to this several times, and keep deleting what I write. In my opinion, I think the answer might be that if the parents are able, they should pay if the child has earned it. For example, if the child has shown responsibility in the past; is really invested in going to college and in using the education he obtains to start a career; can be trusted to be diligent in studies and take college seriously; and understands the sacrifice his parents are making in order to pay thousands of dollars for his education, then maybe the parents should invest in it. But if the child is flighty; more concerned about having fun than getting serious about his future; hasn't shown responsibility in the past; or doesn't understand the financial commitment involved with college, then maybe the parents should hold off. They may choose to not finance the education, or wait until their child gains some better insight. I think parents should look at it as an investment: will it get good returns, or not? Thinking of it those terms can help with decisions about Ivy league schools, out-of-state tuition, etc. as well.

That being said, whatever the child can do to help out, he should do. Apply for all the grants and scholarships he can, etc. There's also the GI bill, which presents an amazing opportunity for students/families to fund a college career, if the student can make that commitment (it's not for everyone, I know, but I think everyone should consider it. I wish I had). You don't even have to go active duty--you can join the National Guard and have the same benefit.

I'm still paying for my own college education, and it seems like the loans will never be paid off. Something else to consider is, is college really worth it? I sometimes regret getting a master's degree - maybe I should have stopped with a bachelor's. I don't think the master's has afforded me any better opportunities. Maybe it will in the future, who knows?

One more thought: I attended a church that had a college. They did not allow students to go into debt to attend there. I don't know all the ins and outs of how they worked it, but they did work with students and their families to keep them from having to take out loans. I wonder if there are any secular colleges that have a similar program? Might be worth looking into.

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My husband and I have started college funds for both of our daughters. That said, I don't know how much I will tell them about it. I want them to work as hard as they can to get scholarships, that way whatever we have saved up for them can be used to cover whatever scholarships don't or to have as a little extra spending cash. I do feel that the primary burden should be on the child. I know if my parents had been paying for my college, I wouldn't have put out as much effort as I did. As it was, I had to keep my GPA up to keep my scholarship. Without that scholarship, I would never have been able to go to the school I went to.

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Our policy is to pay for room and board wherever they go. If they stay in the area, they stay at home and eat with us. If they go out of state, their food and place to stay is paid for. This does not include personal items - toothpaste, cologne, etc. THEY are responsible for tuition, books, and fees... so if they get a scholarship, THEY are the ones that benefit from it. However, if they decide not to go to college, they pay us rent for living at home, or they move out. It has worked very well for us... and between our six children, we used all of the options above. Good luck!

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