Help with a Co Worker Situation

Hi Amy!

Sounds like this girl is threatened by you. I have found that when someone behaves the way your coworker is behaving, they know they are not doing what they could do to be the best at their job. In order to make herself feel better, it seems like she is picking on you because you are doing 110%.

Sounds like it was no mistake on her part that you "overheard" her complaining about you. I have learned that people that think like this do things in a very intential way. Please rest assured that you are being the best person you can be, and because of whatever reason she has, she must make herself feel better by knocking you down.

It is really silly to criticize someone for chewing loudly! Come on, we all eat! If you look at it from a different perspective, removing yourself from the hurt she put on you, it is quite funny to expect someone to make no sound when chewing! And as for having to listen to your personal problems, it is her choice to evesdrop or not! I would go about your day changing nothing! Maybe bring in some gum and pop it to annoy her more! Nothing like being passive aggressive!

You really do sound like a great person, and awesome worker that has challenged a slacker! Be proud of who you are and what you stand for and don't let her petty cattyness change that!!

Good luck!
J.

Since you want to avoid confrontation, just put a pleasant smile on your face. You're their to make a paycheck, not find life long friends (although, it's nice when you find one at work).

Since she obviously isn't the person she makes herself out to be (honest and straight forward) don't worry about her. If she can't tell you to your face that the toffee peanuts bother her, then as someone else said, I wouldn't worry about it. If your boss hasn't complained, chomp away.

As far as the personal phone calls are concerned, you should be aware that such phone calls are discouraged during working hours. So I would cut back on those and only engage in them during breaks and lunch. If she really is this petty, she may end up making complaints to the boss. Something like personal phone calls can reflect badly on you. If she complains about the toffee peanuts and your boss says something, you can always say, 'Wow, she never said anything to me about it.'

Anyways, good luck. It's always hard to find out that someone is being two faced.

Hi. I have a very similar personality of just trying to get along with others and a pleaser (though that has slowly changed as I have gotten older). I think you can broach it two ways depending on your co-workers motivation for doing this. One is to ignore it and just go ahead and live your life. You know she isn't a friend and that is who she is. It is a good lesson for insight on who she is. The other way is you could be honest and matter of fact; to say that you heard her talking about you and that it really hurt your feelings.

If you can let it lie, that is OK. For me it would burn in my gut and I would feel like I wanted closure of some sort. These things don't matter I suppose in the long run though it is really difficult in the present. I have a five year old daughter and when I behave towards others, I act how I would want her to act and to be proud of me for it (if that makes sense)and that usually gives me strength and focus for how I want to act.

Good luck!
T.

First of all you should never expose your
personal life to anyone other than a
professional or another close family member. This keeps gossip out of the work place. Another thing is that she sounds very immature. Adults face each other and solve the problem. Let go of what you thought was a friendship keep it professional.

Goodness, it never ends does it? I remember when I graduated high school and got my first office job and thought, how great is this? No more of that "high school" backstabbing etc! Had I known then what I know now I think I would have looked at working on the side of the road holding a slow/stop sign. This is why I ultimately chose to work with computers, they may be difficult at times but they never insult me or make me feel bad!

What to do? Let it go and do what you intended on doing. Don't share your personal life with her (or anyone else at the office for that matter)and if she asks about it, tell her you feel that maybe you've been burdening her too much with your problems and would prefer to be a little more private from now on. Or even simply say "nothing to talk about, all is great" and throw her a quick story about how wonderful your daughter did on her pre-school art project and leave it at that.

We make the mistake of having "friends" in the office when we need to remember that though it's ok to create a relationship there (you ARE there 8 hours a day!) keep it tame and don't share anything you'd be embarassed to have get out.

As for the eating, she's just being a b___. I wouldn't think twice about it. She doesn't like you chomping your toffee peanuts (which sounds wonderful by the way) too bad for her. That's the downside of cubicle living, she'll just have to get over it.

Good luck.

Well, just keep to your self and if/when she asks just say that you are busy and you know she is too so you don't want to bother her. Or you can say i know i've been talking alot about personal stuff and i don't want you to get of sick of listening to me all time. I am on the fence about being confrontational. there are times i just don't care and i'll call someone out on something and sometimes i don't feel like having any more drama.

good luck

People need to vent. You chose Mamasource to do it, she vented openly with someone. Venting is venting, and I think you should let it go. You just have to accept her, for who she is, and now that you know, you can adjust. Don't start with the office gossip, because it will change who you are. Be confident in yourself, be curtious with the knowledge that you share close quarters, and then let it go. It is petty, you are not. You cannot give clues to clueless people. Ignorance is bliss, so she must be pretty happy!

Oh boy, I feel your pain! And SO do not miss working!! ha! ha!! I had the same thing. Why some woman are like this is beyond me. Try to be the "bigger" person and seriously just ignore her snyde remarks. She's looking to get a rise out of you. Lots of women out there are happiest when others are suffering! Sad but true. Once she sees that your not bothered by it, she'll stop. Hopefully! If the gossip is out of hand, tell your supervisor! You'd be surprised about some company policies! She could get into trouble. And that would shut her up!! LOL Just keep doing a good job and perhaps pray for a promotion?! Keep your chin up!
Mom to three girls that will NEVER grow up to be like her!! And pray my son never marries one! Good luck! ;-P