Asking a Question for My Neighbor/friend...

She needs professional help. I'd suggest to her that she talk with her doctor. She can also call AA and ask for names and numbers for treatment centers. It's very difficult and nearly impossible for most people to quit on their own when they've drank heavily everyday for a year. Her body has adjusted to the point it needs the alcohol.

My cousin did stop on his own. He bought a book that told him which nutrients he needed and he bought those. However, he's a very strong willed person who spent the weekend in the hospital after being unconscious on the street. He knew that if he didn't stop he'd die. And there was no alcohol in the house. That was a much more extreme incentive than just coming to the realization one wants to live differently and whose SO is still drinking.

You don't have to be religious to work AA.
Just a belief on ANY higher power.
And to be truthful, that's a classic excuse for alcoholics to avoid AA.
If she's serious she will start AA.
Offer to babysit for her for her meetings.
30 meetings in 30 days is a start.

Don't get sucked into this drama otherwise.
She can see an addiction specialist, go to any E.R. Or her doctor or start AA if she's serious.
There are no magical "methods" or supplements.
Keep in mind (I know she's your friend) excuses are what addicts do best!

I second Marda P ----- She needs to see a professional. Going into rehab to detox is the best idea, even if it's only a 3 day hold. She can get medication and counseling to support her while she detoxes. I have known many substance abusers who tried to quit on their own and failed. The failure just reinforces their idea that they can't quit and they often drink more.

AA does have meetings for the non-spiritual. Call AA and talk to them and get info for her, then tell her what you found out.

You are very sweet to help her. I would suggest that she speak to someone from AA before writing them off- as others said, no need to be spiritual to work the steps there. At least talk to them...

A word of caution. There are stages of readiness to face addiction, and from what you describe, she is not quite there. She is at the stage where she realizes that it's a problem, and would like to do something about it- on her terms. I'll do it 'but' I'd like to do it without AA, I'll do it 'but' I'd like to just wean off of alcohol naturally, I'll do it 'but' may not be willing to deal with b/f and what being sober may mean for the relationship. Not that this is bad, this is the natural progression of acceptance and getting help. She wants to do it, but not with the 'whatever it takes' mentality that she will need. Exactly as AA does, she needs to realize that she is powerless over the disease. The way she's talking means she is not willing to admit this- yet.

If she doesn't want to go to AA, then she should fess up to her doctor, they can discuss options with her. Gotta start somewhere.

I'm really hoping she gets help, and again, not bashing her. This is totally normal. I just don't want you to get your hopes up so high for her, she is likely to falter a few more times at least, before really accepting help. Be patient with her and understand that this is a hard process.

What a sweet neighbor you are!!

pick up the phone and call social services and tell them about the situation, if both parents are drinking and there are little kids involved, things can only end tragically for these kids.. more later, baby in lap
K. h.

Not to be unkind, but your friend needs to be doing her own work. If you think she wants to change the way she's living, the first thing she needs to do is be the person who asks for help, herself. Acupuncture and naturopathy and counseling can likely help her--but only as an augmentation to detox/rehab, but she needs to be seeking treatment of some sort first.

She can 'come off' alcohol, but until she's dealing with *why* she's drinking and developing more healthy coping skills,she will just fall back off the wagon. Addiction isn't something one can just try to outsmart, she really needs the support a counselor or group can provide. The physical addiction is only one part of it. It's a behavioral issue, too.

If only it was that simple to wean yourself off alcohol/drugs. My husband use to be an addictions counselor, although no personal experience with drugs/alcohol. She should consider whatever she needs to do and this will mean stepping out of her comfort zone and going to AA. She sounds like she needs therapy, counseling, medical intervention -all things she can't do alone at home. She wants to find a quiet, yet private way to lick this and that won't work. The boyfriend needs help too. She needs direct support from someone who has been through this and came through it. This is not a model she's going to find at home with the equally drunk boyfriend. If she gets sober his lack of sobriety is going to be a problem for her - always.

Hello, I just watched several documentaries last night about food - food matters and another holistic one. In it they talked about the founder of AA and how he prescribed and actually treated alcoholism (depression) with high doses of niacin 3,000 miligrams and up. That would be something she could start with. I thought that was very interesting. Maybe you could do a little research on that. I also remember something about all the B vitamins. My brother went to AA and he told me they teach you that you shouldn't eat a lot of sugary stuff and especially ice cream before bed as it causes depression. There are actually a few things she can at least start doing while she is going through this transition. And she's lucky to have you as a friend helping with these things. Sometimes people just need someone in there corner encouraging them to do better. I know from experience. Good luck to your friend. Lots of hard work but it gets better day by day!

I don't have a whole lot of advice, but there is one thing I know for sure: if she doesn't get rid of 100% of the alcohol in the house, she will not quit. So, if the boyfriend still has alcohol around, she'll have no chance.

She's reached out to you for help, and that is a HUGE step. Don't let it go to waste. Find out about other treatment programs that she can go to. There must be other outpatient programs through a local hospital or clinic that would still allow her to be home for her kids but recover at the same time.

Quitting *naturally* means cold turkey. To be honest, it doesn't sound like she's ready, unfortunately. She's already making excuses.