E.A. asks from Little Neck, NY on August 18, 2009
Any Moms Have 2 Kids 6 or More Years Apart?
I have a 5 year old "only child" who has told me on a number of occasions that he does not want a brother or sister. Up until now, that has not been an issue, as we have been trying to have another child unsuccessfully and we pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that we would only have one. Well, I just found out I am pregnant and by the time the baby is born, my son will be almost 6.
I would love to hear from other moms who have 2 kids spaced that far apart. If I had had the choice, I would not have had them almost 6 years apart. I am worried about how my son will handle this. I also wonder what the dynamic is like with kids so far apart in age. Please tell me it all: the good, the bad and the ugly. I need to know!!
2 moms found this helpful
J.N. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
My kids are 9 years apart! I thought that was going to be weird. It is a struggle at times. Like getting them to activites when the baby is napping. But the older he gets the more my older ones have fun with him and appreciate him. I will say it was tough the first couple months, but it seems to be getting better, for them and for me.
Good luck with the new arrival and enjoy as much one on one time with the older one, let him know you'll always include him when you can.
C.A. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
I have a daughter 10 and a 1 year old and she becomes neddy at times and she can act her shoe size not her age, but she loves her lil brother, I also realized that she needs her space from the lil brother so I give it to her I hope this helped.
A.G. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
I have a 8yo, 3yo and 3 week old! My oldest was 5 1/2 when her sister was born. It will work but the dynamics are a little different. My oldest sort of "mothers" the middle child. I found it worked better than the 3yo with the newest addition. The 3yo is so angry and jealuos with the new baby but when she came home the 5 1/2 yo wanted to help but wasn't angry and only slightly jealous. It was much easier with the larger age span between PLUS I am now potty training and breastfeeding at the same time!!!! I am getting more grey hairs daily!!!! Congratuations on the new addition! A.
A.W. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
Our son was nearly 8 years old when our daughter was born. We didn't intend to have such a large age gap between our children, but life happened and we kept putting off having a second child. Our son had begged for a sibling for years and had pretty much given up on having a baby brother or sister. He was so excited when we told him that his wish was coming true. Our son is a tremendous help with his baby sister and dotes on her very much.
Give your son time. He might not be too keen on the prospect of sharing his parents' love and attention with a sibling right now, but that'll probably change once he sees his baby brother or sister. Stress to him that he will be an integral part of this baby's life. Also, now is the time to reassure your son that he will still be a priority after the baby is born. Try planning a special weekly activity to do with your son before and after the baby is born so that he knows that he'll continue to have one-on-one time with you and/or your husband.
I hope this helps. Good luck to you!
A little about me: WAHM of a 9-year-old son and 21-month-old daughter; married for almost 13 years.
L.R. answers from New York on August 20, 2009
well i can tell you from personal experience i am 15 years older then my brother n sister, and it helped me mature alot faster. My kids are 8 1/2 yrs apart and they get along just fine I think if I had to do it all over i would do it the same way you get to enjoy both of them at different stages of their lives when they are close in age its hard Good Luck and congrats
C.M. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
We back I had my children 7 years apart. My son used to ask why other people had more children. I would explain that God gives us babies when he wants to. I had a daughter and when I brought her home my son was in love with her immediately. Let your son know that there is room in your heart to have as many babies as God chooses to give you. Include him in your feelings as the baby grows inside you and all preparations fr the new baby.
K.H. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
I do not have kids that far apart but possibly may someday. I am in the same situation as you. I would have loved to have had kids close in age but it has not been possible for me and as of right now I have an only child not by choice. My husband however is 6 years apart from his closest sibling in age. While growing up he was always taken out by his older siblings - they took him to see Santa, taught him to drive, etc. They had a great relationship and I get to hear so many stories from his brothers. Now that everyone is older he is their peer since everyone is married and has kids. The only difference is that my son's cousins are older than him - but I have a ton of babysitters. I think your children are going to be great friends and closer than you can imagine - it is just hard for the older one to see that now. Good luck - I am sure it is going to go great!
M.F. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
My sister and I are 8 years apart. My mother often says she had 2 only children! We are not particularly close, mostly because of our age differences, but we also had little sibling rivalry because we just did different things. As we have gotten older we have become a little bit closer. Your son will adjust to his sibling and grow to love him or her. It might be a bit rough at times but it is anytime you add a new family member, regardless of age.
D. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
My sister and I are 9 yrs apart (she's older). My mom says she raised 2 only children. By the time my sister went off to college I was only 9 so we didn't share much of anything. We were typical siblings though, we fought, we played together, normal sibling rivalries. Now we are great friends, even though she lives 2000 mile away. My newphews are 5 yrs apart as well. They get along great too. I wouldn't worry to much about him. Keep his life as normal as possible. If he plays sports or music keep that stuff up for him. Try and carve out time just for him. It won't be as bad as you think. He will adjust.
E.M. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
My children are older adults now but they are 5 years apart. My daughter is older. When I had my son she became so protective of him. Like a little mom. We used to call her Mother Goose. She wanted to make sure that he was alright and worried even about her own grandmother taking care of him while in school LOL. We had to reassure her that grandma did a great job with her own Dad and not to worry. That helped her a little. She loved playing with him and when they became teenagers oh my gosh. He was constantly arguing with her. What a struggle. But after a while things got a little more quiet and now they love each other so much. I would not have it any other way. My son wasn't planned. My daughter was. I hope this helps. E. in NJ
L.M. answers from New York on August 19, 2009
I have two boys and they're 7 years apart. I also wanted my kids closer together, but I'm happy that my second little man of the house is here and full of vinegar! My older son is great with him. Since we brought him home from the hosp. there wasn't a jealous bone in his body. Sometimes my husband and I laugh because sometimes he thinks he's the parent! I find it hard at times with play dates, after school activitys, homework, etc... because of nap schedules. I also find my little one doing things much earlier than my first. He is a little dare devil, NO FEAR!!! My older son thinks this great that now he can keep up with him. Its scary at times but they adore each other. My older son always tells his brother, I'll always got your back, nothing will every happen to you! Your mine!!!
Congrats and much happiness! Its gonna be great!!!!