Photo by: Ahmed Rabea

I'm a Better Mom on Coffee

by Home Made Modern Mom
Photo by: Ahmed Rabea

A letter to my girls:

Dear Girlies,

I’m just going to say it: You guys wear me out. That said, I’ve discovered the wonders of caffeine in recent weeks. I lived 34 years without drinking coffee, but one day, around 4 o’clock—my usual low-point—I had the not-so-novel idea that some caffeine may help me get through the hours before dinner. After only one cup, I thought, “This stuff is legal?!” I realized, since drinking the stuff, that I am probably a better mom on coffee. That is to say, when I have energy. Thus began my reflection on how I hope you might one day look back on our days together when you were little.

I hope you remember that we went for lots of hikes in the Valley so you could smell the fresh air and get in touch with nature, and not just the times I hoped you’d watch “Olivia” a little longer so I could sit still for a minute.

I hope you remember home-cooked meals and lots of fresh veggies and fruits, and not just the times I served chicken nuggets again because I was too exhausted to think about dinner.

I hope you remember that I talked to you patiently and calmly when you were having a rough day, and not just the times I said something like, “Because I said so.” Ugh.

I hope you remember that I listened to you and engaged in conversations with you, and not just the times I absentmindedly responded, “Mm-hmm” to something you were trying to tell me.

I hope you remember that I answered most of your questions thoughtfully, and not just the times I stopped responding because I was too tired to think of one more answer.

I hope you remember that I let you get messy in the sandbox, the flowerbeds, and in mud puddles, and not just the times I said, “Not today,” because I didn’t want to clean up the mess.

I hope you remember that I sat on the floor with you for lots of hours of reading and playing, and not just the times I asked you to entertain yourself so I could fold laundry or empty the dishwasher because I didn’t want to be doing those tasks at 10 o’clock.

I hope you remember that we ran through the sprinkler, played in the snow, and jumped in the leaves, and not just the times I said, “We don’t have time.”

I hope you remember that we spent hours reading together, making crafts, coloring, baking, imagining, exploring, and just being goofy. Mostly, I hope you remember me loving every minute of it. With or without coffee.

Love, Mama

Home Made Modern Mom is a reading, thinking, former librarian who is actively searching for ways to inject style and personality into her gig as a SAHM. According to her, “I believe that the little things in life matter, and that if even just a little creativity and inspiration creeps into the everyday tasks I have to accomplish, my family will feel special, and I’ll retain a sense of myself.”

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62 Comments

Well said! And I relate 100%. Nice to see other like-minded moms in this mommy club world of ours! :)

Sweet post/blog. From mom to mom, I hope you remember that it is okay if you don't "love every minute" of being a mom. We are human. Scraping poop off the floorboards or calmly handling flailing arms is not meant to be loved, but tolerated -- fed from the giant basin of love a mother brings to the table. It was a sad day when my tummy no longer tolerated coffee (I drank it from 21 on and often) but I can handle green tea, which is caffeinated, so I so do get the caffeine-thing...

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Beautifully and thoughtfully written, a wonderful treasure for your children to read when they are older. Oh, how we try so hard to be great moms and I too, often wonder, will they remember the times we spent baking, hiking or playing games together or will they remember a mom who was a task master, continuously giving them orders to brush their teeth, do their homework, wash their hands, get ready for practice etc. I need my coffee too but some days I hate the role of task master...

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I'm a coffee lovin' mom too. It's not so much the caffeine that keeps me going (I usually drink decaf), but for me, it's that moment of peaceful bliss when I get 10 seconds to myself every morning before chaos ensues. I love the chaos, but I treasure that first morning cup of joe.

I love this post! I didn't used to drink coffee until I started staying home with my daughter. Now I love it!!!

I love the lists you wrote out too. Seems like you were reading my mind. I hope and pray my daughter remembers the good times and not the , 'not right now' times!

Hello I enjoyed the article. I just wanted to leave this tip to all of the Moms who enjoy coffee! I have found a healthy alternative by Gano Excel. They have coffee, tea and hotchocolates with a nutritional ingredient, that gives the body back nutrients and detoxes the body. If you really enjoy coffee take a look at www.myganocafe.com/cafeshop. The beverages also taste GREAT! I especially enjoy the Mocha and Red Tea.

Coffee smells great. I quit drinking it when I was 27 and realized exactly what the effects were doing to me. Sweaty palms, nervous tension, grindy jaw, inability to sleep, It was great to have the surge of energy when I needed it but I realized that my lack of necessary energy was do to nutritional imbalances in my diet...

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That was a great article definitely need to print this out. Thank you. Take care, Debb from California

hi did you had 2 births at home? How was it? I am going to this Dec, due in dec 12 am very excited, cause no episeotomy and it would be a total different experience at home was traumatized by that in the hospital at least at home I know I will be very comfortable and able to soak and birth in the bathtub. This is my second girl...

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Sorry went a little out of point above just saw your posting on your blog saying made at home babies, anyways yeah been trying to abstain from coffee it is addictive but once in a while its taste so good. I love the taste though, it just makes my insomnia worse in pregnancy so I ended drinking chamomile tea to help me sleep soundly at night...

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This was so nice. I laughed out loud when you said, "this stuff is legal." I am a better momma too with coffee and I love the way you stated the memories that I know your girls will cherish forever!!

What a beautiful letter to your children. You've said so well what I struggle with every day - the fear that what I'm giving my children, though it is my best, is not enough. Just breaks my heart when they don't understand why I have to stop playing to go back to chores (they're kids - there's NEVER enough play time!), or when I am in a less-than-chipper mood. As moms, we all give so much every day to our children, and we certainly hope they remember the good parts...

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Coffee is harmful maybe??? Nah. I drink it all day every day I despise water and pop and juice. Can't recall the last time I had a drink of anything but coffee! Coffee and cigarettes-that's my diet! Hey I've never had chickenpox, or the flu, and have only had one cavity in 30 years and two kids! But my mom also calls me and my dad's side of the family "cockroaches" because they all live to 95-100 despite not living 'healthily' at all! yay genetics!

Reduced me to tears - great job on the letter. That 4pm moment is a familiar one - I have the traditional British cup of tea, which works very well for me.

Your children will remember all of those beautiful moments because that is when you were most present with them and gave them the things you truly love.

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