Would You Want to Hear It from the Police or from "Me"

Updated on June 04, 2012
C.O. asks from Reston, VA
33 answers

On Thursday night, we had a young man pilfering through our backyard (this is TOTALLY out of norm for us as we've lived here for 17 years and NEVER had a burglary in our neighborhood or ANYTHING bad like that).

Well, my husband heard something in our backyard and went to investigate - he found a young man NAKED AS A BABY with the exception of a backpack and a baseball hat - and said "excuse me - what are you doing?" the kid took off and ran (dah). So my husband called the police......

Fast forward to Friday evening - we are out inspecting the home for damage from the high winds and rain when what to our wandering eyes appear?!?!?!?!? The kids wallet - on our TOP DECK (that has a gate on it)....so we check it out and find his name and address (he's a high school student)....and we call the police and they come pick up the wallet...

Now for my question....

since we now know his name and where he lives...as a parent - would YOU want to know where and what your child (17 years old) was doing at 2AM or would you just let the police handle it?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Yes. My husband got a good look at the kid - our back deck has a good light - and if he had to testify - he would be able to say "yes" that was him.

Featured Answers

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I would let the police handle it. The police WILL look into it. (Especially, if you live in an area where this is extremely rare, like you said.) I mean, I wouldn't care to hear from the other parents. It would kind of add salt to the wound of a very difficult situation. Just my opinion!!!

9 moms found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

This would be different if you knew the kid. But since he is a stranger, I would say let the police handle it.

9 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

I think I'd let the police handle it. Sounds like the kid has problems and I wouldn't want him irked at me if he lives near by (within naked walking distance). :-0

9 moms found this helpful

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Just ask yourself if your son took leave of his faculties who would you rather hear it from.

God knows what he was doing naked but he sure wasn't there to rob you, ya know?

Think about all the possibilities, he was with some girl, maybe his girlfriend. She got pissed about something and threw his wallet one way, clothes the other. He may have been looking for his wallet in your yard. Granted I would have gone for the clothes first but ya know, he is a guy. :p

All the answers let the police handle it makes me sad. Really, you can't see your sons at 17 doing something really stupid? My oldest is 24, stupid should have been his middle name. I see a 17 year old boy looking for his wallet naked and I think something has gone very wrong, not oh my god get the police involved!!! Come on folks!! Think!! A little empathy maybe? What would cause your son to be in that situation? For most of us it isn't going to be drugs. It will be first time with girl or a dare. You would really want your son to have a criminal record for that?

8 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

I would want to hear it from the police. Parents love their children so much that it is hard to believe a total stranger, especially over someone with authority like an officer. Plus, for ypur safety, it is best to let the police handle it.

8 moms found this helpful
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M..

answers from Youngstown on

Is it possible the wallet was stolen and the naked kid in your yard stole the 17 year old's wallet? I think I would let the police handle this one. This whole story makes me think the naked kid was either on drugs or mentally ill. Not sure why else he would be running around naked in the middle of the night (unless maybe he's a sleep walker). Either way I think I'd leave this one up to the police. Good luck.

7 moms found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Miami on

I would have the police handle it. You have no idea what his parents are like or why the boy did it to begin with.

7 moms found this helpful

M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would let the police. He may have just been part of a prank.

7 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Excellent comments by previous posters. The fact that the owner of the wallet is 17, in my eyes is a police matter. If you found something from a younger kid, maybe I would consider contacting the parents.

At this point, there is too many variables that could cause things to get messy. Let the police handle it.

Let us know how things turn out.

7 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I'd let the police handle it. If you call, chances are the family has caller ID... certainly, they might be fine people and their kid might have just had a bad evening with a girl, but what if that's not the case? Do you want the family or boy to have your home phone number?

Just a serious consideration to think about.

If my kid were wandering around naked, I'd want to know, too. You did your duty by calling it in and returning the wallet, let the police handle it from here. They'll contact you if it's necessary. AND if he was on your deck... that's not just an everyday streaker who got burned on a date, that's likely something a bit more strange... so, just because of that, NO, don't call them. (It's hardly likely that they'll be grateful or thank you, right?)

6 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Let the police handle it. It's their job, it's what they get paid to do, and they are trained to do it. If the lid was naked in your yard in the wee hours of the morning, he was quite likely in an altered state of consciousness (high, tripping), or else mentally ill. Either way, you aren't trained to deal with such issues. If either is the case, the courts can assign a social worker to the family to help the kid get professional help.

6 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Um...I would let the police handle it.
That's why there's a law enforcement system in place.
So people don't have to be vigilantes and handle (quite possibly inappropriately) things like this on their own.

That said, the exception to this (for me) MIGHT be if you were going to return the wallet and speak with the parents in the spirit of leaving law enforcement OUT of this incident and cutting this kid a break of some sort. I don't know the particulars--whether he has issues, an addiction, etc., and neither do you, from what you've written in this post. So we can't really determine the amount of grace & mercy appropriate here.

Let the police do their job.

6 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Tampa on

I really would let the police handle this. Unless you know the parents, you have absolutely no idea how they would react. Don't put yourself on the line for this....

5 moms found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'd leave it with the police. If this happens again, there is a paper trail.

Also, maybe his parents are nut cases and you might have just gotten yourself into something bigger than you wanted to.

I'd keep his info, just in case.

5 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Allow the police to do their job in this case.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

hmmmm....my first inclination is that it doesn't involve you anymore.

But I'm conflicted by being a responsible parent and appreciating such a call.

I'd call.

Oh, and be thankful - it sounds like he was on the same bath salts that caused some other people to lose their face.

5 moms found this helpful
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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Yep, let the police do this. The baseball bat is a disturbing detail; that doesn't sound like he was out to hit a few balls in the night but to use it on something or someone. Combine it with the nudity, which says drunk or drugged or just totally impulse-impaired, and he could be dangerous. For your safety I'd leave this with the cops, but you could always follow up with the police and see if they'll tell you whether they pursued anything with this kid. Meanwhile, if you don't already have motion-sensor lights outside your house, I'd consider getting them.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Unless I actually knew the parents and the kid, I'd let the police handle it.

I did get a call one time from the father of my stepson's best friend, telling me that my stepson had gotten in trouble and the police were involved. I did very much appreciate first hearing it from someone I knew. I would not have felt the same getting a phone call from someone I did not know.

5 moms found this helpful

K.R.

answers from Sherman on

careful getting the police involved. chances are he was just being stupid, or on a dare, or something. (thinking of some of my own teenage craziness)

and while he mostly likely is being very stupid, that dosnt mean he deserves being labeled a sexual predator for the rest of his life. which is what would happen in my state if the police find you naked (exposing yourself) in public.

4 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

If you let the police handle it, perhaps they can commit the kid for 72 hours to see if he poses a danger to others and himself. If you had just told the parents, they could put their heads in the sand and do nothing, and later he could end up shot by the police the next time he does it.

And there probably WILL be a next time...

Dawn

4 moms found this helpful
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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Wow, what a blessing that you have all his info. I would let the police handle it.

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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

I think the police should handle it... they have more training you and you don't know what the parents/kid will do if you come to their house. This maybe the norm for him - his parents might already know he is doing this or their maybe other cases pending in the police's hands that he also fits.

Sorry something like this has happened to you - I know it would bother me & I would be watching over my little ones & house so much more if it happened here. Not that I don't know - I think people would think I have gone nuts.

4 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

The police will let the parents know.
Let them handle it.
Naked with a bat and backpack is a little too over the top for me.
I would call the police and follow up though.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

My first reaction is to say that of course I'd want you to tell me about it first.

My second reaction is to remember that children do no wrong these days, and if you say something otherwise to parents, they'll simply chew your head off.

This isn't someone from a family you know, right? I imagine that since the police were already involved when your husband found the wallet, you did well to contact them first. It was already their business.

If the wallet and the naked young man go together, that young man isn't a very good criminal. He needs to find another career choice.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from Salinas on

Does he live in your neighborhood? If you see his parents walking the dog (or something) and wave, yet do not know them, yet know of them, then maybe let them know. As other posters stated, there are too many unknown variables. From your post he and his family seem to be complete strangers.

Sounds like he was drunk or worse, on drugs or mentally ill.

If he is 17 i believe the police are legally obligated to contact the minor's parents? They will be hearing it from the police regardless of what you do. so your question should be hearing from the police AND from me.

Maybe the parents would like to let you know their son was doing a prank and not stalking you. This would be for your piece of mind not helping the 17 year old.

edit: i may have misread your question and assumed you turned the wallet in to the police as well as reported this incident to the police.

3 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

Let the police handle it. This sounds like something my little brother could have done (he suffers from schizophrenia & bipolar disorder). If he is running around naked and stealing things, he is likely not on his meds and is potentially very dangerous. If he DOES have a mental health problem, he is almost certain to have multiple run ins with the police.

If it was a gang initiation, well, all the more reason to stay away from him.

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

if you knew the kid i would say contact them yourself. under these circumstances, definitely let the police do it.
i think you're awfully nice to even consider other alternatives, though.
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

The police definatly.

3 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Police, you have no idea what kind of living circumstances he is living in. It may have been a high school prank/hazing or it could be his parents make him live like that. I would perhaps call my friend at child welfare and ask her to inquire about his well being after having a vandal complaint filed on him. If the police were informed of his....dress or lack of, they might have filed a child welfare referral anyway.

I would also call the police and ask what the outcome was of the report, if his intention was to break in and bludgeon someone or to defend himself. He might have been trying to hide himself.

3 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

If I was the parent of the kid doing something wrong, I would want to know and preferably from my kid (not you or the police). In this case, you don't know that the kid in your back yard was indeed the same as the one that the wallet belongs to (unless your husband got a good enough look to know for sure).

The naked kid could have been doing something on a dare and the wallet may or may not have belonged to him. He could be the victim of a prank and was trying to get his wallet back. This whole thing just seems odd enough to have too much unknown for you to take action. Let the police handle it.

2 moms found this helpful
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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Hee hee, he had a baseball HAT, not a bat... which makes a difference in the severity of his offense, in my opinion.

Anyway, yes to calling the cops, because they will notify the parents regardless. Something tells me he was already mortified & won't be pulling that kind of stunt anymore. We were all young & dumb at one point or another, weren't we?

2 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I'd let the police handle it, though me and my big mouth might be different.

Since he is a minor, I'm pretty sure the police have to tell the parents.

I hope your house is fine too! We ended up getting almost nothing, though they said down here we were supposed to get it pretty bad. Mostly just heavy rain for a couple of hours, but that didn't start until 9 or so!

1 mom found this helpful

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, Cheryl:

I think you need to contact the parents as well. You were affected by this teenagers behavior. The police deal with the criminal act, you are dealing with the harm caused by the teen.
You do what you think best in the long run.
D.

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