Won't Poop on Toilet

My grandma got custody of my brother and I when we were little and my brother was 4 and still pooping in his pants. So my very patient grandma would sit in the bathroom with him and read him books to get him to poop, if he did he got a quarter he would put in a jar. That worked for him. Prior to Grandma we were in a abusive home where he got beat with hangers for pooping in his pants and then a foster home where at 4 he had to go sleep in a crib for pooping in his pants like a baby. So Gramma's patience and love was really the thing that worked.

L.,
Ok, this may sound harsh (I had serious issues with it at first) but with my son (who loves very warm/hot showers & baths), I told him everytime he pooped in his underwear we obviously had to clean him off and since it was going to be messy, we put him in the shower and it was cool(hardly warm but not freezing). I only had to do that twice!! It was a major victory! I made sure and built him up and told him that I wasn't trying to be mean (make sure you're not degrading or angry about it or they'll take it the wrong way) but he had to get clean and this was the fastest and easiest way. I also explained that to avoid this, we have to poop in the toilet. It worked and I was so relieved! I had tried everything else, too and nothing worked! BEST OF LUCK!

I went through the same thing with my now 41/2 year old boy. We tried every reward we could think of and even took toys, TV and other fun things away, but nothing did it! For him it was a power struggle he knew he could win and he knew it pushed our buttons. The only advice I can give is to be patient. He will stop!!

Hey L., I have an almost five year old little girl, and we are still struggling with potty training. Patience, Patience, Patience. My little girl will go hide in a corner when she has to poop. Eventually she will poop in the potty. My little girl is afraid of losing part of her butt. She is starting to get over it. Like I said.....Patience, Patience,Patience. I actually started over with the whole potty training process and that also seeemed to work. Good luck.