Why Don't People Tell You??!!!!

I believe the rule is to only tell someone about something embarrassing if they can do something about it immediately or soon after. Like, don't tell someone they have a zit because really, what are they supposed to do about it? Or that they look tired...thanks...nice. But it's ok to tell someone graciously that their fly is down or they have spinach in their teeth.

Hey, we just had that heated discussion over whether or not to tell someone that their child might be in grave danger and most people said MYOB! So they were afraid to tell you!

Honestly, it wouldn't cross my mind to point that out to someone. I've dealt with mild acne for years and always know when I have one. Don't need anyone to point it out.

Yeah, waaaah, poor you!

Today when I got home from my first job interview in 20 years, my precious daughter said "Mom, your shirt's unbuttoned!"

I thought she was joking, well since she's MY kid, she's JUST hilarious ALL the time.

But I looked down and sure enough! There it was! The stress button on my profoundly conservative, not-even-a-little-bit-snug cotton OXFORD BLOUSE had come undone.

Was it undone for the ENTIRE interview? Who knows, probably. Sigh.

Yeah, so put some peroxide on your pathetic zit and quit whining!

;)

LY J.!

Heh, heh, heh.

If I worked with you I'd be like, "J., you have a fat zit on your face. It's a really good one, let me at it!"

That's if I worked with YOU, because you'd either say, "Back off Ephie, I've been saving this monster all day. It's MINE!" Or you'd hand me something sharp and sterile. Or you'd laugh. Or maybe you'd sock me.

With someone who is, erm, a little less relaxed about things, I would keep it to myself. I mean, J., come on. Most people have really big feelings about bodies.

Rude & insulting is bringing attention to something that you can not control or fix - like a big zit.

Helpful & friendly is bringing attention to something that you can control or fix - like your skirt stuck in your underware.

My rule of thumb is to only point out something that can be corrected (unzipped pants, hanger straps sticking out, unbuttoned shirts, tags sticking out). I wouldn't want to cause someone undue stress over something they have to wait out to heal anyway. I will tell you if your lipstick is smeared or you have food in your teeth.

Added - Ahh Ephie and Theresa, you both had me laughing til I had tears coming down my cheeks! You gals are great!

Original:
Aw sweetie, I wouldn't tell ya. I'd figure that you knew. It happens to us all, you know!

I'll tell you a story that will make you feel better (I hope). I had a boss who would get in these moods and be a real d*** when he was in one. He had been in a foul mood all morning and got up to go to a meeting. His pants were unzipped, so I called his name out with a concerned look on my face, and he barked at me and said "What do you want?" It shocked me so hard that I said said "Nothing!" He went to that meeting. Later, one of his friends came and asked me why I didn't tell him that his pants were unzipped (funny, he figured out that I had seen it) and I told him why! I said "If he can't talk to me like a decent human being is supposed to talk to people, I'm not going to help him like that." He improved vastly after that in the way he treated me!

A little medicine on that spot tonight, and tomorrow you'll wake up a new woman!!

Smiles!
Dawn

I have 2 teens so I don't notice zits. However, ever since you went in the bathroom to deal with your zit, there's a piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

Honestly, I wouldn't even have noticed. I think most people don't.

Also, skin is an incredible source of insecurity, for many people. They would be mortified to have someone point it out. They're are probably just thinking from that point of you.

Theresa - The same thing happened to me when I was 25!! I have always wondered, if that's why I got hired on the spot, 10 minutes into the interview...

J., that would be rude!
Im sure they assume you know its there and dont need to point it out.

I had a sticker on my butt at church on Sunday...... fortunately, one of the gentlemen in choir with me told me.....

As others have said, if it is not immediately "fixable", I don't say anything...... if it IS fixable, I do say something.

I've pulled male students (and a male teacher) out of class to tell them their zipper was down..... I work at a middle school. It isn't that I'm intentionally looking at everyone's crotch, but you take in the entire person in a glance, and sometimes it is just obvious by the way the material lies.

I do have a hard time with that one ~ so sorry. Because of you, I will try much harder though. Once, on the first day of a new job, the writers asked me to lunch. I was so worried about having food in my teeth. When I got into the car, I looked and had a large piece of parsley between my teeth!! LOL

My husband was just lamenting the same thing the other day. He had a whitehead and was so embarrassed. The thing is, those dumb whiteheads can pop up so suddenly. You can look in the mirror and be fine and then 30 minutes later you have a massive whitehead. I don't think anyone is going to be thinking, "look at that dope who is oblivious to his/her pimple and obviously has not looked in the mirror once today!"

I would be really annoyed if anyone other than my husband pointed out a pimple on my face. Maybe it is because my mom was always fussing over things like that- pimples, eye goops, etc- and it just really irritated me that she was always picking at me! One time some random lady pointed out that my bra strap was showing, I am sure she meant to be helpful, but I wanted to punch her. I find it very invasive for people to point out things like that to me.

Anyway, it could be worse. I walked around the waterslide park with a wet glob of toilet paper on my butt for about an hour recently! I was glad to discover it myself, though. I would not want a random stranger pointing it out, It is easier then to just pretend nobody ever saw it :)

i've never had a big ugly one (visibly noticeable) that didn't HURT LIKE HELL. so i never had to wonder this lol. i know before the rest of the world, unfortunately.

i bet they assume you know already?? prolly think they're being polite by not mentioning it or staring at it lol..

Is that like pointing out a misspelling in cyber world?

:)

If I was your bestie, I would point out your huge zit! But just a coworker, not so much.

Zits aren't on my radar to be honest....

Sorry but it is just flat out wrong to tell someone this. I would be mortified if someone said this to me and would also be mortified to point that out to someone. Besides being rude you have to assume that they know already. Either they would have felt it or saw it in the mirror not many people don't realize they have a zit. If someone told you AFTER you discovered yours would you not sayl 'um yeah, I know that already.'

Reminds me of the time when I was at work and had to go into a meeting with a client and his Psych. I left there and got in my car. It was then, and only then when I looked down and saw my purple BRA. Apparently my button became undone. At what point and when, who the hell knew. I was absolutely mortified, turning three shades of red all over.

Also reminds me of another time when I went to the library. At least then the librarian was kind enough to tell me my zipper was down.

So, yes, I think people warn and tell. I guess it took a librarian to be the one who was brave enough in my case.

Point is, just pretend that nothing happened, and then , eventually, it all fades away. But now I give myself a once over, just in case!

I'll tell people when their skirts are caught up, they have toilet paper hanging or stuck, if their lip stick is on their teeth or smeared, if their hair is mussed, if they have lint or stray hair stuck to their clothes, etc.

There was even a woman in the grocery once who was wearing this gorgeous sun dress. She was gorgeous too, and she was really nice. But she didn't notice that her right nipple was showing because her dress was caught on the hand basket. NO ONE TOLD HER so I went up to her like I knew her and quietly mentioned it to her. She thanked me, casually turned, and adjusted herself. We both walked away from other.

Zits are a whole different thing. I assume that people are aware when they have a zit, and while the other things are things that people really are unaware of and need to be told to avoid embarrassment zits are something that people are generally aware of already. They're a super-sensitive topic that we're conditioned to ignore because of how sensitive it is. It's not like telling someone means they can remove it or fix it or adjust it like with spinach in the teeth.

OOOH MY WORD!!! I needed the laugh!!!

THANK YOU!!! FOR THE LAUGH!!!

In the work place?? I would tell you!!!

The difference is that a skirt can be removed from the pantyhose....
A zit? ? No instant fix.
Unless, however, it was SO gigantic, everyone assumed you already knew! That's why I wouldn't tell a coworker about a zit!

I don't ever tell people about a zit. I mean, how the heck would you go about that? "By the way, you have a huge zit on your face"? Captain obvious, anyone?

I used to have severe acne as a teenager (like... SEVERE), so I don't sweat small breakouts at all. I definitely do not put that in the skirt in panties category.