When to Start Potty Training - Kearney, NE

Updated on June 08, 2009
L.H. asks from Kearney, NE
13 answers

I need some advice on when to start potty training. My son is 20 months and I feel like I get pulled and pushed in all different directions with when to start. Any advice on when and any other advice with potty training would be awesome!!!

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C.G.

answers from Davenport on

I don't think there is/should be a specific age. Your child will start to show signs that he is ready. Does he tell you he peed or does he hide when he poops? The big question is are you ready, it can be frustrating so be prepared to test your patience. I would start by buying a potty seat and get him use to seeing it. You could have him sit on it when he wants, but don't expect anything at first. Then I would start sitting him on it on a schedule, if he lets you. When you think he is ready, take off the diapers and go, he will have accidents so make sure you are ready to stay calm. He is still young, so you have plenty of time.

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L.Z.

answers from Bismarck on

This is a very personal choice. I waited until my son was about 2.5 because I wanted to do it in the summer (didn't want to be dealing with all the winter clothing all the time)and I was hoping it would go quicker with him being older. I had also read (on this site) that children aren't physically ready to potty train until they can draw a circle. Crazy as that sounds...our son had just begun scribbling in circles before I started training him. He had also just begun asking to sit on the toilet...with the diaper on. Previously he had been quite fearful of the toilet. He had a potty, potty training books and videos before he turned 2. We did a lot of talking about how he would use it when he was older. We also talked a lot about feeling wet and dry. Basically we did the "prep" work for about 7 months before we felt he was showing us that he was ready. When we started officially potty training, we used the thick underwear and plastic pants. I only used the plastic pants for about a week though because it was so hot outside they made him sweat a lot. We were lucky in that he was basically trained very quickly. He hated feeling wet which helped us a lot. Of course he had accidents for months afterwards and still occasionally does.

I think it's really important that you make the decision to potty train when you are ready. This can be quite a lengthy process and it is important that you have the time, patience, and energy to devote to it once you start. I had lots of pressure to start my son earlier but I just didn't feel that he or I were ready. Other people always have opinions on how and when things should be done but they don't know our children quite as well as we do. Choose a time when you feel both you and your son are ready and don't worry about everyone else.

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T.S.

answers from Waterloo on

The best advice I got about this was from my Dr...... HE WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN IT'S TIME!!! My daughter potty trained herself in 2 days! Just make sure you have a potty chair available. We talked to her often about it and tried to get her excited. When she was ready, she just started doing it!

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S.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

L.,

I used the book "Toilet Training in less than a Day" with all four of mine and had a good experience. You can get the book on Amazon.com or on eBay. My kids were between 23-27 months when I potty trained them. My personal experience was the earlier, the better.

Although the popular advice now is not to potty train, but to wait until they decide they want to do it on their own (age 3-5,) my personal experience is that they are capable much younger than that (18 mo - 2 1/2.) My experience with my four was that there was a window when they were little where they were open to it and capable, but that window eventually closes and they become very stubborn about it. That's when it becomes a big power struggle.

Some kids will decide to potty train all on their own and some won't. If you think about it, the only reason anyone is potty trained is because of hygiene and social acceptability. If we keep kids in diapers indefinitely and tell them they can wear them as long as they want, where's the motivation to ever change? Pediatricians are telling parents to let the kids do it on their own because they don't want their phone lines and exam rooms tied up with parents who are frustrated with the power struggles over the issue.

Regardless of when you choose to potty train, there are lots of things you can teach him now that will make it easier when you do potty train. Teach him concepts like wet and dry, up and down, dirty and clean. Have him start to take personal responsiblility for his cleanliness - if he spills, show him where the towels are and how to clean it up. Have him put his own dirty clothes in the laundry basket, his own dirty dishes to the kitchen counter and his own diapers in the trash. Teach him to get you diapers, wipes, clothes, PJs, shoes, etc. Teach him to dress and undress himself, especially pants.

One thing I did with my last child that I wished I would have done with all of them: right after dinner, starting when my daughter was about 15 months old, I put her on the potty naked while I ran a bath for her. The combo of having just eaten and watching the water run was enough to make her pee about half the time. It didn't matter that she wasn't potty trained, just that she learned to be comfortable sitting there and had experience getting pee in the toilet. It speeded up the whole process when I did potty train her at 23 months.

Good luck,
S.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

you are mom. you start when you feel your child is ready! my son is 30 months and he isnt ready - he simply doesnt care to take the time.
however, that doesnt mean you cant try. we get our son to sit on his potty before baths, during diaper changes, that kind of thing. he knows what its for, but he chooses at this point to not stop and take the time
can always put potty chair in the kitchen or something to improve access to it.
hopefully this summer i want to try letting him run around outside naked. it seems hes more aware of it when hes naked and will sit on the potty even to toot... so maybe that will work, i dunno.
good luck!

the KEYS: NEVER PUNISH AND NEVER PUSH.

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C.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Like all have said before, wait until your son shows interest and seems ready...especially with a boy, you can't push it. Trying to force the issue when he isn't ready will cause him to rebel against it, but it's much easier and quicker when he IS ready.

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T.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

L., wait.
I was just positive that my little boy was ready when he was around that age - he understood the concept, the language and was interested in the potty. That said, I feel like we wasted a good year on potty training. We tried ALL methods. Weekend training, running around naked, hydrating and staying near the potty - the whole bit. He wasn't fully and proficiently potty trained until he was three and a half. It was way too h*** o* us and him. He just wasn't old enough. Sometimes he would do it and we would be all encouraged, but ultimately most of the time he just didn't care enough about the process.
Don't rush it - its h*** o* everyone!

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

L.,

There is no magic age. Much of it depends on your expectations and how much time you have to devote. If you don't mind being the one "trained", meaning you become in tune with when he has to go and are helping him use the toilet, then there is no reason you can't try now. If you don't want the hassle and don't want to attempt anything until he can be "potty independent", then I would say wait.

The pendulum swings back and forth on potty training, and right now the more popular opinion is to wait until the kid is 2 or 3 (or even older), initiates the training, and can be "potty independent" right off the bat. My personal opinion is that younger is better than older. Some kids do not self train--you could be waiting a very long time. My brother was in diapers off and on until he was 4 years and 10 months simply because he was allowed to be.

My son (17 months) uses the potty part-time. We are on a schedule at home, but when we are out and about he goes in his diaper. He does sometimes sign "toilet" when has to go, but it is usually me who initiates bringing him to the potty. It is nice not to have to deal with a bunch of dirty diapers each day. I fully admit that I am the one "trained" although I am also tapping into my son's own instincts and needs. I am also "trained" to feed my son at certain times and "trained" to help him get dressed and undressed. Why should using the potty be any different?

In the end, it's really up to you and your son's other caregivers. There is no "right" or "wrong", but at different ages you will have to deal with different issues and obstacles. Diaperfreebaby.org is a great resource for "early" toileting. Good luck, whatever you decide!

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C.K.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi L.,

I usually start introducing them to the idea earlier, but don't really get into it much until they are two. I've tried it at different ages over the years, but after they turn two it seems so much easier. They understand, and are usually as ready as you are to get rid of the diapers. They love to wear the character underwear, and don't want to get their favorite ones wet. You will probably still want to put a diaper or pull-up on at night for awhile...and maybe even at naptime, depending on how your little one does.

I have a little boy, right now, that has been interested for quite some time, and he is only 21 mos old. He has been sitting on the potty every once in awhile, but doesn't want to get off until he does something...the problem is he hasn't quite figured that part out yet. I usually have to talk him into getting down (I use the big potty.), and say we will try again later. Monday he finally did it, so I expect we are on our way. It helps because he has two older brothers, and comes to daycare and sees the other children doing this. Children always want to imitate. If you don't already, and you don't mind, take him in the bathroom when you are using it, so he gets the idea.

Good Luck!!!

C.

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R.S.

answers from Des Moines on

L.,
You say he is a very busy boy. If you are also a very busy mom, I would recommend you wait to potty train until he is definitely interested. There are a lot of little charts out there that describe signs of readiness. And don't even get too wound up in signs that just show interest. They are fun to note, but don't really push it until you feel like he REALLY wants to do it. If you want to make it as easy as possible, that is. On the other hand, I don't think you can hurt anything by trying to teach him earlier. And it might just work. I just happen to be very lazy about some things and so I look for the easiest way possible.

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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

I don't know any boys that have went that early. I tried my son and 2 and 3 and 3.5 but it didn't go over. He wanted nothing to do with it. Then he turned 4 and said he was a big boy and was ready to use the potty and wear underwear. He is 4yrs and 2 months and he's 75% trained. BM are not his strong suite of telling me when he has to go. We wear underwear at home and pull ups out and about. I've had a few cousins that have trained only early as 3 yrs

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K.P.

answers from Des Moines on

My son was around that age when I started with him. I purchased a very simple potty chair and placed it in the bathroom. At first letting him play around with it. Then practiced sitting on it. He didn't care for the potty chair and liked the ring you fit on your big potty. I also had a great babysitter during the day that helped me get him trained. It was really pretty easy. He was trained shortly after turning 2 years old.

I only purchased one package of pull-ups and only used 4 out of them. After he turn 2yrs old and had the basic idea I told him we ran out of diapers. He was fine and wore underwear from then on. Had only a few accidents but other then that done.

Just like the other mothers have said, there is no magic age when to start.

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J.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

When they are ready and show a lot of interest. Do not listen to everyone's advice . . . all kids are different. I know a couple of my friends pushed their kids with potty training and I know one child still (who is 8) still has issues with anxiety going potty. My other friends' dtr seems to have more "dribbling" issues. I waited until my dtr pretty much was ready to take on the responsibility. However, some people would say I was too late. My dtr was age 3. She was supposed to be potty trained to attend Preschool. Her first week out of pull-ups was the 2nd week of school. As far as night-time - it took her until age 4 1/2 to be fully potty trained. All kids are different in their dev't and I'm so glad that we never pushed her. At times we offered her more rewards but when it comes down to it - when they are ready - they will do it and it clicks! I'd say just sit him on the potty before bath, after meals, before naps and bedtime and see what happens. If he shows interest in it - great! If not, wait for a few weeks and try again. Reading books about it may show more curiosity but I found that just being around peers that were beginning potty training - sparked my dtr's interest. And we just went with it! Good Luck!

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