What Can I Do for My 4 1/2 Month Old???? I'm Losing It!

Have you started her on cereal yet? try putting a little cereal in a bottle before bedtime, it might hold her over. Is she all of a sudden fussy like this? she might be getting teeth???? My daughter went through an attachment fase but it was at about 7- 8 months and then again at 14m. I could NEVER do the cry it out thing either!! I feel they cry for a reason, and we may think it is something they can deal with but to them it is the end ofthe world... all they know right now is MOMMY. The only thing that worked for me getting some free time was sending my daughter out with either my mom or her daddy, because if I am around she wants me. Have the take her to the mall and walk around or something just to give you a breather, you find after a breather you miss the little one and are refreshed enough to deal with the fussing. Those are all the things that I did and it seemed to get me through the days where I was ready to scream. Happy holidays--

Hi K.,

It sounds like something maybe hurting her when she is lying down. Have you thought about going to a chiropractor that works on children, and having her adjusted? My little boy was 3 days old and cried for the first 3 days of his life, didn't sleep at all for those first 3 days. we had him adjusted and he fell right to sleep in the car ride home.

Anyway, just a thought - good luck.
B.

have you spoken to ypu pediatrician. sounds like it might be colic. my son went thru that. I thought I was going nuts. It was the worst 3 months of my (our) life. I used to have one of mny girlfriends come over because I thought it was me. I thought I was doing something wrong. Be patient, be strong, it doesn't last forever

Dont think that this is the way it will ALWAYS be - it sounds like she was doing well prior to this (sleeping for 12 hours at night) and falling back to sleep after a feeding at night (many babies dont do that!) have you considered it could be teeth? or possibly something new that you are eating? are you back to drinking coffee for instance? I resorted to letting my kids nap in their swing, as long as i was around (and awake myself!) Some kids find that soothing. It really sounds like there is something new that is bothering her, since this is new and persisitant behavior. "Crying it out" is not meant to be done until the baby is nearly a year old. Does she sleep with you at night? I would try putting her down for a nap in your un-made bed during the day, sometimes the smells and the feel of it would help her be more comfortable. Its not a bad idea to hire a babysitter for two hours while you take a nap either! Good Luck, J.

My daughter was also very fussy and naps were hard to come by and short. Everyone said after she was 3 months old she would change but she did not. She was 6 months old before she first slept through the night. I've read that they wake after 30 - 45 minutes and then can't put themselves back to sleep so you have to teach them how to get back to sleep on their own. (yeah right!) Even though your daughter prefers you right now you should still let her daddy learn to handle her also. She will scream more at first but she will have to get over it. You need a break and there is no reason why she can't learn to let him comfort her too. It's nice to feel needed but you need rest and she will be fine with him in time. I used to go to bed an hour or 2 before my daughter and let my husband put her down, that way I could get a head start on my sleep for the night. Not fun but it gave me a shred more patience which some times makes all the difference. I never got her to take a bottle which I always regreted very much since I always had to wake for feediings and it restricted my level of freedom in general. She would get fussy in the late afternoon and sometimes wouldn't stop until 10 or 11pm. We got into the habit of "walking" her which we are still doing to this day and she is 16months. Definitely not fun! (my aching back!) I always thought the cry out was insensitive at that early age but now I wish I had done it back at 5 or 6 months so that we maybe would not still be going through these antics now. We also never really gave her a chance to go to sleep on her own back then when she was a little baby, we always got her to sleep first and then put her down. If I knew then what I know now I would do things differently. I wouldn't hold her ALL of the time either. I wouldn't nurse her to sleep for naps and bedtime because it's a hard habit to break and her teeth are probabaly starting to rot already not to mention she needs it to go to sleep still. Thebabywhisperer.com may have some ideas for you on how to extend her naps if it works for you. Is she the type of baby to get overstimulated easily and then can't unwind for sleep? That is one of the theories on that website. Also, she advocates the "routine" approach. The same sequence of events happening in the same order over and over for predictablilty. Eating, Activity, Sleeping and You time. (E.A.S.Y) I never really was able to do it in the same order each time but it did help me to realize how often my daughter should be sleeping and eating and give her a little bit of a schedule at least. The "Pick up, put down" method is supposed to help to extend naps. Good luck! Try to reassure yourself that her babyhood will be over before you know it and maybe that will help you to appreciate your time together a little more despite the crying and lack of sleep. :-(

I went through the same thing with my 9 month old. My pediatrician told me to put her down for a nap two hours after she wakes up. She said to us it sounds crazy but they are usually tired by then. and let her cry herself to sleep. Now that's the hard part. My daughter went 2 hours before she fell asleep and woke up after only 25 minutes of sleep,I went crazy. but it only took 3 days and now she will cry for 2-5 minutes and sleep for over an hour and a half. (nap time for me) Also she is in the beginning stages of seperation anxiety. It is going to be a few months before that gets better 9-12 months. If you have family around you ask for help. Don't be ashamed. (Let her cry in your room and you nap on the couch.) It is hard but it does get easier. If she is only with you she will have a hard time with others. Do you have any nieces or nephews that are older. Orfriends with children about 10-13. You can have them be mommy's helper for a few hours a couple times a week. They play with your child in your house and you can get some things done. That way when your daughter sleeps you can too. Also she gets used to being around somebody else. I hope this helps a bit. WEll at least you know it's not just your child. good luck

I'm sorry I don't have many suggestions but I wanted to tell you that my son (8 wks) also wakes very shortly after we put him down. Some days he hardly sleeps during the day at all. The only thing i can say is it seems he does this when there is something bothering him (gas, belly ache.) Maybe she is starting her teething. Have you tried Tylenol? Good Luck. I feel for you!! It will get better.

K.:

You poor thing! Fussy babies are so hard, and we feel so powerless to help. I understand.

You said in your post that you are breastfeeding exclusively. Two things: 1. Give her a pacifier if she's not already using one. Babies have a powerful need to suck. If she's not meeting that need while eating, she'll be cranky. Give her a binkie to use. Often what happens is she'll cry and cry and then you nurse her. She'll nurse to meet the need to suck, but she's not truly hungry. Now her tummy's overfull, and she's uncomfortable, so she's crying again, but for a different reason. 2. Try altering your diet. Babies care sensitive to what you eat when they are nursing. Eliminate something from your diet for a few days, and see if it gets better. Start with dairy, that's the culprit more often than anything else. Babies can't tolerate the proteins in dairy that transfer to breast milk, and they have stomach pain because they can't break it down. Give it a shot for a few days, and see if it makes a difference.

Colic is very rarely present after three months, because brain development moves them past that stage. If you truly think that's what's going on, see your pediatrician.

As far as sleep issues go, I'm going to give you a very unpopular piece of advice, and someone on here is going to tll younot to do it. Try it anyway. When your daughter wakes at 4 am, put her back to sleep, and then tuck her in next to you. Everyone worries about having to break habits later, but you both need to sleep NOW. My theory is whatever gets you through the first year is good, worry about later LATER. Sleep time is prscious, get it any way you can. Let her sleep in a bouncy seat or swing if that's what it takes for you to get enough rest. You can't be an effective parent all day long if you are exhausted, frustrated, and miserable.

Your daughter is old enough now for a baby carrier. Do you use one? I'm talking about the Baby Bjorn or Snugli setups. She may love one, since it keeps her close to you, and the movement of your body as you walk around may keep her content and leave your hands free to do things during the day.

My son was a half hour napper fr the first six months. It's maddening, I know. I used to play beat the clock during his naps in order to get housework done. I tried not to look at the time, and see how many tasks I could get done during the nap. So instead of saying he only napped for half an hour, I could look at it as he napped long enough for me to do the dishes, wipe down the counters, take out the trash, and sweep the kitchen floor! Sounds a lot better that way, no? It's just a mind game to keep your frustration level down. He would nap like that 5 times a day. I always dedicated the first one to getting showered and dressed, maybe breakfast if I went really fast.

You will make it through this. She will organize her sleep patterns into something that seems sane. All babies are different, though, so it may not be on the week that the boks say it will. My son, who was the original snuggler as a baby, is already almost 2 1/2, and giggles and runs away when I ask for a kiss. It seems like last night I was swaddling him in his blankie after a midnight feeding, but in a few hours, he'll be standing at the gate, yelling Pizza Pizza Pizza because he wants lunch, and is hoping to influence the menu. It all goes by so fast, and the stages breeze past. She'll be fine, and so will you.

HELLO,K. I KNOW IT'S HARD CAUSE IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE THE WAY MY DAUGHTER WAS..BUT IT DOES GET A LITTLE BETTER IN THE SLEEPING DEPARTMENT,TRY PATTING HER BOTTOM SOFTLY TO PUT HER TO SLEEP THAT'S HOW I DID WITH MY DAUGHTER, OR PUTING HER IN THE STROLLER AND ROCK IT BACK AND FORTH...JUST REMEMBER TO TAKE IT SLOW AND EASY BECAUSE IF YOU FEEL YOUR LOSING IT ,IT'S NOT GOING TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR CHILD...YOU WILL GET IT..SHE WILL CHANGE..ABOUT BEING FUSSY THAT'S PROBABLY HER PERSONAILTY BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER HAS NEVER CHANGED ON THAT SHE STILL WINES AND FUSS FOR EVERYTHING... BUT THERE ARE TIMES THAT IT GETS EASY... YOU WILL SEE.. TAKE CARE AND GOOD LUCK..

K., have you tried swadeling? It worked wonders for my daughter and I continued it for a long time after she was born. My daughter was the same way... only wanted Mommy. She eventually grew out of it and wanted others. I also breastfed exclusively. Hang in there. S.