What Age Is It Ok for a Boy to Go into a Mens Public Bathroom Alone?

Keep bringing him to the women's room, you are right to be concerned. He can go to the men's room with Dad when he is with. You wouldn't let him go off by himself in a public place for anything else. Also, try to have him go potty before you leave home. Then you can avoid the issue most of the time. I don't think you will regret being too cautious.

I let my son go in to mens bathroom told to scream if anyone tried to touch him or anything and also as parent stood as close to the door my self it's very to let them go Em

This post reminded me of a funny story about my oldest when he was about that age...we were in Baker's Square eating one afternoon and he tells me he has to go to the bathroom. We get to the restroom and he said he wanted to go in the big boy's potty, I said no and he said that grandma let him go in the big boy's potty at Sears. So of course I let him but told him I would wait right by the door. Well a man walked up to go in and gave me a strange look, I told him my little boy was in there, he nodded and walked in. Just as the door was shutting, my son hollars to come wipe his butt! Needless to say I couldn't because there was that man using the urinal was in there and he started crying. When the man came out he said the coast was clear and I went in. We get back to the table and that same man was sitting at the next table. My son that says very loudly "that man did not have a very big weiner"...I was so embaressed! I grabbed my purse, paid that bill, and left. About 4 years after this happened, a local radio station was running a contest for Mother's Day and I called in with my story....I won a $1000 shopping spree to the Mall of America!

My son will be 6 at the end of June, and there is no way I'd let him go into the men's bathroom by himself. I think your question of when is great, I don't know when either, I am also very worried about child predators, at least in the lady's room mom can stay nearby, just to make sure.
I know I probably haven't helped, but at least you know your not alone!

This may be just me, but I say 4 is too young. I still take my 5 yr old in with me and I very rarely let my 8 yr old go in the men's room alone. I only let him go in alone if I'm sure he'll BE alone, like a one person stall at a gas station for instance. If it's a busy restroom such as the mall or a movie theatre, no way by himself.

I wouldn't let a four year old go in by himself, not quite yet. I am with you on the worries....I've got two sons. I let them go by themselves when they were more like six. Four just seems too young to me.

I have two boys, ages 7 and 3.5, and I STILL take my 7yr old into the womens with me (in his own stall) most of the time. But then again it depends on where we are. If its a restaurant with a single stall, then I will let him go, or church, or somewhere we frequent that I'm comfortable. If we are at the Mall of America, Zoo, Childrens Museum, Disney, etc somehwere large like that, no way. I not only want him in the restroom alone with strangers, but I dont' want to be standing outside the door waiting and wondering. He's responsible, he's a big kid and he knows how to defend himself, but he's only 7.

I would not even think of letting a 4yr old go into a restroom alone, in any situation. My youngest is almost 4 and I can't imagine.

I still take my almost 6 year old with me. It's just such a scary world. Some places have family bathrooms and that makes it easier.

J.

Most malls, stores and movie theaters now have family restrooms so I would ask at each location and see if that's a possibilty. If not, I would take him in with me to the women's room. He's too young to go in by himself. Not only is it a safety issue, but he probably can't reach the sink to wash his hands by himself, reach the soap, paper towels, etc.

I have the same problem with my son (he'll be 5 next week). I let him go in and stand outside the door and call in when I think he should be done. I've talked to him about good touch/bad touch and strangers. I do try to use family restrooms whenever possible. There's a lot of places that have them now. I let him go in by himself and then when he's done I go in and take my daughter to the bathroom (she's 2). I always make him go before we leave the house so we can avoid public restrooms. The thing I'm worried about is our swimming lessons. The locker room says no opposite sex older than 5 in the locker rooms. What are you supposed to do?

i spose he is old enough, especially if hes asking to.
one thing you can do is let him use the family restrooms by himself, that way you know that no one else is in them.
as far as places that dont have family restrooms, i would open the door, knock, ask if anyone is in there (they will only think that its a cleaning person or something) and let him in when that person leaves.
OR sometimes you cant rely on an empty bathroom, so check, let him in, and call in to him after a few minutes depending on what kind of bathroom he has to go.
he should be fine. the chances of someone doing something to him in a restroom is probably smaller than you think, especially if you are right outside the door.

i think your 4 year old understands bad touch more than you think he does. im sure he would know if something was wrong, and if you are right outside the door, you would hear something suspicious.

anyway, good luck!

It depends on where you're at and if you're comfortable with the environment. My son is 6 (7 in August) and I started letting him go in alone about your sons age when we were someplace where there wern't many people and I could crack the door to check on him. If men are going in or out they understand. But if it's a busy place I still make him come in the the ladies room with me. So ultimately I say go with your instinct.

You didn't say whether your son is in preschool, but in my experience, once the boys are in school, they have to go by themselves, and will naturally want to do so elsewhere as well. I understand that home and school are both controlled environments and we are talking about public places. I also understand your apprehensiveness. Try to talk with him about the dangers you are worried about (without scaring him too). Explain to him that it is not OK for anyone but you or a doctor to touch him, etc etc. But ultimately, it is up to you to decide when you want him to go in by himself. I had a hard time when my son was "ready" since his sister was young, but there are "family restrooms" now which are nice.

I think each situation should be valued on it's own. If the restroom is very busy you might want to have him go with you. You can explain that sometimes there are people in restrooms that are not very nice and sometimes when a lot of people use the same restroom they can be dirty and you want to be sure he is washing his hands. If you are in a place that is not busy you could let him go on his own. I would stay nearby and be ready to go in if you think you need to. You may want to carry some hand sanitizer, to make sure he washes well. He starts school soon and will be going on his own at school.

My son will be 5 on Tuesday, and I let him go alone at church or if it's just a single stall. We live in a very small town, and he is learning that some things are safer than others: I do leave him and his baby brother in the car while I rush in to pay for gas (I can see them the whole time, the car is locked, and there's not a line at the store) but I wouldn't dream of doing that if they were out of sight. Similarly, bathrooms follow the same rules. Most people at our church know my son, and I let him leave the pew to go on his own. Other less safe places/more crowded places, he goes with me. I think, too, that HE knows his level of comfort; he does sometimes ask to go alone, but is very willing to comply--because I say yes when I think the situation is safe--when I say it's not a good idea.

My son was 6 or 7 . I think it depends on the maturity of each particular child. It sounds like your son may be mature for his age. I would just want to reiterate the stranger danger info periodically and have a plan in case he encounters a scary situation. Additionally, if you are right outside the door, it might be safer.

i have a 7 year old boy-who i trust in the bathroom alone. but it all depends where we are for him to go into the men's bathroom alone. at a brewer's game---no. at walmart---yes!!! so just use your own judgement and keep pushing the good touch/bad touch!!!

I think that your boy is old enough to go on his own. Just stand outside the men's room door and wait for him there. Tell him that you will be right outside the door and that if anyone makes him uncomfortable that he should yell and you'll be right there.

Cheri, I allow my 4 year old son to go go into public bathrooms alone. But if he doesn't come out right away, I stick my head in and ask him if he is ok.

My gut instinct is to say age 6 or 7 might be old enough. (my son is only 3, so we'll see.) But I really don't think 4 is old enough to go it alone in a public place.

As a woman, I think age 8 is too old to be going into the ladies room with mom (Unless you are in a really questionable place and need to be there for safety). I feel weird when I see a boy who's 8 or older in the ladies room.

I have to agree also with the other posters who said it depends on where you are. If my son could take care of everything himself for #2, which is when he wants privacy, then I would let him go alone at church for instance even at 3 yrs old. But say I was in Las Vegas- depending on what part of Vegas we were in, and what time of day/night it was, he'd have to be like TEN before I'd let him go alone, and I'd STILL stand right by the door. (not that I'd take a 10 yr old to Vegas...)

Bottom line, do what you feel comfortable with.

I have thought about it already, even though my son is only 16 months old [I am a single mom so I worry about all sorts of things like this]. I've decided that for my son, when he turns 6 and can be trusted to go to the bathroom and to wash his hands, and also knows that strangers can be dangerous, that I will let him go in alone...but as a precaution I would still wait outside of the door and if something were to happen, he could yell and I would hear and be able to get in there quickly.
Another thing I thought about when making my decision was that having a kindergartner in the women's bathroom is no big deal... having a first-grader standing in there might be borderline weird. A 7 yr-old in the women's bathroom would definitely be kind of weird. But even so, it is about protecting your child. I would have nothing against a mom bringing her child in there for that reason.
Maybe quiz him a bit more on the "good touch/bad touch" scenario and see exactly what he can tell you about it. He should know it well, and know not to talk to strangers, and to scream and kick and fight like crazy if someone ever tries to grab him. If you think he has a good grasp of those things, he is probably okay. If not, maybe you should wait another year.

This is going to sound vague, but I think it depends on location. I have that issue too. Sometimes, if there isn't a lot of traffic and I'm fairly secure about the clientele/store, then I will let him. Sometimes though, I have him come with me or to the family one, and I make no apologies to the store/people. It is so sad that we have to worry about this.