Kids Using Public Restrooms Alone

Updated on October 17, 2014
C.B. asks from Irving, TX
25 answers

Just curious...when did you let your children use public restrooms alone? Or when did you let them wait for you outside the restroom (by themselves) while you go in to use it? My son is about to turn 7 and I have a feeling we are nearing the acceptable limit. I feel better about him using a men's room while I wait outside the door vs him waiting outside the ladies' room for me. I personally don't have a problem with him using a ladies' room stall while I use another and meeting up again at the sinks, but I am curious when this becomes unacceptable to other women in a public bathroom?

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

6 or 7 is about the right age for kids to use the proper bathroom on their own.
It's fine to wait outside the mens room for him.
I did that and was fine with shouting "Do you need any help?" in the door if I felt things were taking too long.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter is 7 and we've been sending her to the bathroom by herself for about a year, depending on where we are. If its somewhere like a rest stop, the one we stop at generally has a family restroom, in case the hubs needs to go in with her because I'm feeding the baby or something.

I do have a son, and I plan on letting him use the restroom by himself around the same age. I don't assume that there are pedophiles around every corner. I would think it would be really uncomfortable for a boy older than 6ish to go to the restroom with his mother. I know my daughter hates it when dad has to take her, which is really rarely.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

The rule in public change rooms here is age five and up must use their gender appropriate change room or the special family change room, so I assumed that was also the rule for washrooms. By the age of five my kids were in school and completely independent in the washroom, so they used the men's room while I waited outside. They were well behaved, so if I needed to use the ladies room I could trust them to wait outside for me and not to wander off.

ETA: While I wouldn't be terribly uncomfortable if a boy came into the ladies washroom, can you imagine how uncomfortable a little girl would be if one of her male classmates came into the ladies washroom? I mean, if a boy walked into the girls washroom at school all hell would break loose! I would have been horrified to find a boy in the bathroom when I was a child!

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V.S.

answers from Reading on

I always looked for family restrooms when possible.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

You're right. It's close to the time to make a Plan B. It's tough. I made my oldest check to see if anyone was in the restroom first and come report to me. If empty, no problem. If someone was in there, we waited. I was notorious when they were that age to pick and choose what stores we went to. Target and HEB were great about having a family restroom. If my husband wasn't with me, we tried to go to stores that were more family friendly.

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M.C.

answers from Louisville on

I would say this is the age to start transitioning him to using the men's room alone. You can start off taking him places with a family restroom. That way, if he needs help you can still go in.

My DD is 4, and I've started waiting at the main door while she does it all on her own so my a Husband isn't stick trying to figure out the bathroom situation when he's out and about with her.

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

some restrooms are more alarming than others. i started letting my boys go alone judiciously around 5, but if i had a bad vibe i'd still take 'em into mine. but by 7 they were going independently.
with me hovering around outside with my spidey-senses all alight, of course<G>.
khairete
S.

4 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

I don't care if boys come into the ladies restroom with their mom. It's not like they can see anything. Everyone uses a stall. Do what feels comfortable for you. But realize you do have to let go at some point. Teach your child what to watch out for.

3 moms found this helpful

S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I take my boys (9 &5) in the ladies room with me. I don't really care what's acceptable to other women. I've only had a couple of dirty looks, and one person muttered something under her breath to her daughter. I said "I'm sorry, do you have a son?". She said "No" and I said "Then you can't understand the position I'm in. I am not going to send my boys into a men's room alone where there could be pedophiles waiting". She nodded her head and didn't say another word. A friend of mine had a close call when she sent her then 9 yr old into a men's room. He came running out with a weird look on his face and said a creepy guy stood next to him and watched him at the urinal. I am not taking any chances.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Sounds like you are ready for him to use mens room alone. He will do great. If it is a major stadium maybe someone can go with him.

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B.P.

answers from Cleveland on

My daughter is five and we are starting to let her go by herself as long as we can see and the place isn't too busy.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

6yo. After that, kiddos should use the gender-appropriate bathroom.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

I think 7 is too old for a child to use the opposite sex bathroom with a parent. Sometime between 5 and 6 they become self-aware. Just wait outside the door and keep a timer; once the timer ends, go into the men's room like a momma-bear and check on your son.

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Somebody asked this question a few weeks ago - if the search engine on this site was any good - I could find it, cut and paste the link for you.

My boys are now 12 and 14. I STILL stand around the restroom door waiting for them. Yes there are times when I let them go to the restroom alone, but if they aren't back in a few minutes - they know I kinda go psycho!! LOL

At age 7? I would be taken aback by having a 7 year old boy in the restroom - but really? I today's world with all the freaks - I would understand. It's not like he's going INTO the stall with you. If he was LOOKING under a stall, then yeah - I'd have a problem. Standing in the bathroom waiting for your mom is NOT a problem. I am sure some people will have a problem with it - but really - that's on them.

Hope this helps!

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

You could be a grown man using the stall next to me. Aint nothin' sexy about someone going to the bathroom.
My boys are 12 and 9. I let them go to the bathroom together. Other than that, we use the family bathroom if we ALL need to go. Everyone just turns towards that wall and gives the person actually using the bathroom some privacy.
L.

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M.P.

answers from Asheville on

I drew the line at around 6. There should be more family restrooms, but there just isn't in most places. I didn't think much about having my son use the restroom alone- until last year. Some perv was caught taking photos of an 8 year old child using the bathroom alone at the state fair. We had been in that same bathroom the same day (!!) that this happened- my son was with his dad, though. That is WAY too close to home. This could have been my kid...
Now, I'm on high alert. I stand with the door ajar and constantly ask him if he's doing ok. If some guy doesn't want me seeing his junk, then he can wait. I usually try to make sure the bathroom cleared out before he goes in and then warn anyone that tries to come in after.

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O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I can't remember what age, my kids are older now. I feel it more depends on their ability to go alone (meaning they can lock/unlock the door, wipe, wash hands without help) and the type of bathroom being used. For example, if you are at Walmart, people are coming in and out consistently and there are security cameras. Pretty good chance a pervert isn't going to try something so I would let them go alone and wait right outside the door. However, bathrooms at parks and beaches are a different story. You don't know if someone is already in the mens room waiting for a boy to go in. I remember hearing many many years ago of an aunt or someone at the beach who took her nephew to the bathroom, waited outside, a few minutes later a man came out, left, she kept waiting. Several minutes went by, she thought he was taking longer because he was going #2. Finally she yells in, no response, she goes in and finds him dead. She didn't remember what the guy looked like or anything about him and there wasn't any cameras. So generally I think at age 7 he's ok going in as long as he can take care of himself. Good luck.

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

I think you are just about the age. I have a 6 1/2 year old boy, do curious to read the feedback.

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€.$.

answers from San Francisco on

My 8yo uses the restroom by himself, and I watch like a hawk at the door. If I'm at all concerned, I check in verbally, but most times it's empty or a single seater/ private restroom.

To be honest, I'm not sure what is more incomfortable for the other bathroom goers: a mama bear hovering outside the men's or a boy in the women's. I'm going to agree with many of the others, and let others deal with being uncomfortable for the sexual safety of my kid.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I couldn't care less who comes into the restroom. I'm in a stall, no one can see anything they shouldn't.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

My boys are 9, 6, and 4 and we all still use the ladies room (my 9 year old could pass for 7, though). Safety first--don't worry about what other people think!

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J.N.

answers from Lubbock on

My son was practically chased out of a public restroom when he was only 4. One woman said that he was too old and others chimed in raising their voices and telling him to get out. He wouldn't step back into the ladies room after that.

I always tried to hold off until we got home until he was 8 or so. I was afraid soneone would call CPS when I was about to wet my pants and would growl and grab at the kids trying to get them home in a hurry.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

For me, I'm don't really care who is in the restroom so long as they are respectful and behaving themselves. I'd be a bit surprised to see an older boy (7+) in there, but know that sometimes mom's got a handful of kids at the mall and she's gotta do what she's gotta do. I would hope that a parent's insecurities wouldn't cause their child to feel insecure about going into the mens' restroom on their own. Places where I do envision being problematic, like our libraries (lots of vagrants using the library as a day station) I just have him use the family restroom or we go somewhere else, find a different bathroom.

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

My son is 8 and I hate this. I always make a comment (loud enough for everyone to hear) when he goes in if any creeps try to touch or do something; you YELL as loud as you can and I'll be in there. That way, if there is any, they already should feel shame. I usually won't make a comment like this, but I want him to first know, don't let anyone scare you that you won't tell, and if they are about to do something, I will come into that bathroom. I still try to have him go into the women's bathroom, if I have to go, but if not, then I'm right by the door waiting for him to come out. I make sure I remember everyone that comes in and out of that bathroom too. I just love it when my husband or son is with me so they can take him.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

It entirely depends. If we're at Walmart in our home town and I can see who's going in and coming out I can stand there in the area between the bathrooms and wait for little guy to go in and come out. Same with the girl.

If we're in a truck stop or on the side of the highway where it's all strangers then I am dragging both kids into the handicap stall with me, I need the higher toilet, and they can stand in there facing the wall while I wipe and stuff then they can go.

I tell the boy to cover his eyes and I guide him to the stall.

There is no way that I'm going to let a little kid go into a bathroom where someone could knock me out and run out the door into a big truck and drive off without anyone noticing anything.

At home we often see 10-20 people who know us and if our kids are with someone they're not supposed to be with.

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