Weaning Process

Well, I didn't wean mine. I nursed them both for over 2 1/2 years. So I do know alot about nursing. So with that here is what I have seen. At some point ( which is different for each kid ) the nursing becomes less about food and more about comfort. I stayed so busy all the time ( because I am hyper and don't sit still much), but nursing was a high priority with me. So as a result the only time I really sat, calmly, and just snuggled with the baby, without looking around for what else to do, was when I was nursing. Analyze your 'time with baby' and see if you can transition his nursing time to just 'lying in mom's lap and you pay attention to him time'. Then maybe he won't feel the emotional need to nurse. Make it so that the nursing is the only thing that has stopped. Hold him while he eats or takes a bottle. My oldest got to where she wouldn't even nurse but a couple of minutes but then she would just lay there latched on and look at me and rub my face or laugh. If I went to get up she would nurse again. Commonly neither of mine would allow me to read or be on the phone while they nursed. Sometimes TV was right out and I couldn't even talk to their dad. The youngest would grab my hand and put it on her cheek and then she would hold the back of my hand.
On the bed thing maybe you can put a toddler bed next to yours for transition. This worked well for me but mine were older. At his age I think I would wean first and then transition the sleeping, but not both at the same time, he may feel sort of abandoned and then both will be difficult. I hope this helps.

Anyway, I congratulate you for nursing as long as you have. It takes alot of sacrifice and you and your baby will be better off for it.

God Bless.

Hi Jill,

First of all, I'm sending you a mom-hug. This isn't going to be easy, but you will both come out of it just fine, no matter how much crying happens between now and then.

My advice for you is to go slowly if you can, if not, do explain using simple words what is going on. 9 month old babies understand a good deal, and if nothing else the communication can't be a bad pattern to get into. Be firm. Don't give in to crying or it will be much harder.

It might take a few months before your baby boy is really over it, so be patient and don't expect it to be forgotten. But you will do well!

My daughter never used a bottle, went strait to sippy cup at about 9 months, though she was still nursing, too. It worked just fine. I don't think that bottles are a good idea if they can be avoided and 9 months is old enough to avoid them. There are some soft top sippy cups that are a good transition. The plugs which keep them from spilling can be difficult for a 9 month old (or 1 year old) to suck out of. by the time 18 months rolls around, though, they're great to break out again so save them!

As for sleeping in the crib, I have no advice. It didn't work for either of my kids. My dd was a crib sleeper from the beginning but never slept well there. when she was 3 I finally started crawling in bed with her so that I could get some sleep and then things were OK. My DS was a co-sleeper until 18 mos. We tried the crib before then but it never worked for more than an hour or two. He sleeps with his sister now and they are both very happy with that arrangement. So ... I hope that goes better for you than it did for me!

Good luck. Remember that it will all be OK. By the time she's in school she's not going to remember a second of this and she'll still worship the ground you walk on.

Good luck!

Hi Jill,
I had twin boys and nursed one of them to 12 months. It was a wonderful experience for me and my son. What worked for me was slowly cutting back on nursing sessions and transitioning to the sippy cup. Just make sure you give extra hugs and attention. You can also pump and put it in the sippy cup. Your baby will be fine, rest assured.

About sleeping in the crib, I would suggest having him spend more time there. Like weaning, that is another BIG change. My thought is that you might want to wean first, then transition to the crib. Start with naps in the crib, then put him down in the crib when he is sleepy at night.

Hi Jill,

Best of luck to you with these processes. I would suggesting not to transition to a crib and wean at the same time. They are both big changes so it will be less traumatic for you little boy to do one then the other. As for the actually process of weaning, the easiest way I found was to cut out one nursing session a day for a week or so and then cut one more out for the next week and so on. Offer your son a sippy cup during the cut out session (he may not take it at first and you may want to extent the length of time between reducing sessions which is fine) but do not give in and nurse during the cut out session. Slowly he will get use to the idea of the sippy and you'll know it's time to cut out the next session. Make sure to add extra hugs and kisses so you son still gets the comfort he's come to associate with nursing. For the crib transition, does your son nap in his crib? If not, start letting him take naps in his crib so he can associate it with sleeping and then start trying him out there at night. Once you know that he can sleep there it's a matter of teaching him that he's suppose to sleep there. He'll have to learn to self-sooth which is rough, but take it slow and he'll get there. Blessing to you and your family.

They say at that age the babies NEED to suck on something like the beast or bottle. However, if you plan to wean to a sippy cup at a year like most pediatricians recommend, I would not wean him to a bottle. If he's just biting the sippy cup you might try one with a soft silicone spout. Otherwise take the valve out of the spout and help him to drink like that so he understands there's something to drink in there. People seem to love the straws but I find them difficult to keep from molding.

Weaning AND moving to a crib at the same time wouldn't be a good idea. For crib transition I use the crib for naps. You can begin to establish a bed time routine, like singing a song and give hugs and kisses and good night. You should have some crib toys in there so he has something he can do before sleep or when waking up (I've found this a real key to success) at least a mirror!

When you decide which one you want to do (crib or cup first) you might change your mind later AND THAT IS OK!!! You might find, for instance, that moving him to a crib and then night nursing him two or three times is more then you can handle and work on weaning him instead. Or, you might keep him in bed with you and try weaning him and find that he cries all night because of his close proximity to your breasts. You'll just have to try it out and see what works best.

For weaning I decreased feedings, only one feeding a week. The morning nursing was the LAST to go as I was always much more full in the morning but if your baby nurses all night that might not be the case for you. I never nursed to sleep so that wasn't an issue (after several years of experience weaning babies in daycare from the bottle and were used to going to bed with a bottle, that was really rough and I never wanted to go through that with my kiddos.) I wasn't nursing during the night either but if I was those may have been the last feedings I weaned from.

I wish you the best and I'm open for PMs if you like.

S., mom to 5

Wean slowly, over a period of time. It is the best way to wean and the best way to avoid mastitis. Slowly cut out the feedings. If your son likes the night feedings best, take those away last. Use lots and lots of distraction when you are cutting out the feedings. Not sure what to tell you about the pacifier/bottle or cup issue. My answer would depend on the final age of weaning. I think for jaw development and speech, babies should nurse as long as possible or drink from a bottle up to a year.

As far as the crib is concerned, you can try to put him in it during nap time and increase the use as he gets used to it. Maybe put him in the crib in your room and slowly transition him into his as he gets used to it?

Good Luck to you and your son.

Is he still nursing at night? If he is, I would night wean him before you do anything else. You may want to offer some formula or water in case he is thristy at night. Then move on to the other 2 things, day weaning and getting him in a crib, one at a time.

Try a straw cup, some babies like that better.

If you want him weaned around 10 months, you may need to think about what you will be putting him on. At 10 months, primary nutrition should still be coming from breastmilk or formula.

Hey Jill! I have been breastfeeding my daughter since birth, she was born January 08, & she also sleeps with us at night. Well recently I've been ready for her to sleep in her crib. What I did was started her out by taking her naps in her crib in her room. That way she could get used to her bed & her room. It's a process, don't expect anything right away. At first, she didn't nap very long, but we kept trying & before we knew it, she was napping 2 to 3 hours in her crib! Next step, I was REALLY READY to have some time to myself &/or with my husband in the evenings. I would put her to sleep (on breast) then put her in her crib. Again, this was a process. But after a week or two she started sleeping in there for about 2 hours or so. Then after 2 or 3 weeks she finally started sleeping in there all night. She'll wake up between 6-7, & then I go get her, bring her back to bed with me to feed her again. It has worked great in getting her over to her crib. As far as weaning, I have not tried that yet, I'm waiting until she's a year old & can have cow's milk. But I'll be waiting to read your other responses to get some ideas for when that time comes.....it's just around the corner! :( Hope this helps, good luck!!! H.

If you can, don't be so strict on the weaning at ___ months. Instead, it should be more a of transition off of breastfeeding. Some babies can do it in a month. Some need a few months. Some are weaned but still breastfeed once a week or so for closeness. I think if the process is slow, it will be much smoother for you and the baby. The thing is your body is great in adjusting to these changes. The further apart your feedings, the less milk you will produce so your child will naturally feed less. For me, transitioning your baby to a crib is much harder. Good luck with everything.