To Wean or Not? Bottle or Not?

Updated on November 25, 2009
M.F. asks from Silverdale, WA
11 answers

My daughter is going to be 1 in 4 days. For the past month or so she has been drinking more than I can pump during the day and my freezer supply is almost gone! I have introduced whole milk into her bottles during the day (50/50 breast milk-whole milk) and she is doing really well with it and has even had a couple of bottles with just whole milk because my day care ran out of EBM. I thought I was going to have longer to make this easier but I guess I don’t! Even after reading so much I am still unsure which way to go!
The problem that I am having is she is used to me nursing her to sleep at naps and bed time at home. She has never been a good napper at home but at bed she will nurse to sleep (or almost) I put her down and most nights she will go to sleep for 8 hours with out waking, I will feed her and she will go back down for a little bit longer. Last night she actually slept from 7:30pm to 6am with out a sound. I went and made she was still breathing at 5:30! We are moving in the right direction!
At day care she will have her after lunch bottle to calm her down before her nap. She has always had a great need to suck so I am wondering what would be the best choice for her. Do I cut off all day nursing and bottles at the same time or at home and day care let her have bottles but no nursing at nap? then after that work on getting rid of bottles? Do I do all weaning at once or just work on one time of the day first? And what about the effects of letting her have a bottle longer than age 1?
I am wanting/willing to continue night nursing as long as she wants to but not having to pump at work would be wonderful. After I am done with naps I would like to drop morning if possible. I am going on a trip in May for my 30th bday and would like to be fully weaned by then, I mean have her weaned by then…it sometimes feels like I am being weaned also!
FYIs- She will not let her dad put her to bed. She screams for hours if he even tries! He is going to have fun in May! She does not have a paci but she does like blankets with her and will wrap them around her tummy, she would still be swaddled if I let her but I am afraid she will get stuck and get mad or I would wrap her and she would not be able to get out. She has never put any of her night time blankets over her arms she likes them free.
Any advice on how you other moms weaned would be appreciated!

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

Keep nursing her at night and at home for nap time and give her the bottle at other times. If whole milk from cows is okay for her then use it. Her digestive system is well developed at this point and she can eat and chew food.
Native peoples nursed longer but we women work outside the home and have endless things to do without an interwoven network of women to share the load.
You have done very well to have nursed her this long. She is off to a good healthy start in life due to your diligence and devotion.

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A.S.

answers from Eugene on

I'd recommend nursing her as long as you and she want to (knowing that it is completely natural and beneficial for children to nurse until they are 3-5 years old). My two nursed to sleep until they self-weaned at 2-1/2 & 4-1/2, it's a lovely way to connect and drift off into dreamland (and now they nurse their young ones to sleep....). You didn't say how long of a trip you are considering in May - could you take her with you? or if you really want to go without her and it's just a short time, there would be no need to wean her, since she's taking bottles and eating other food, and you could just resume nursing when you return. It would be helpful for you to pump some during your time away from her (to keep some supply, and then when she starts nursing again your supply will increase). I'd be more concerned about the emotional effects of leaving her at such a young age - weaned or not, it could be traumatic for her to have you disappear from her life - since at this age they have no concept of things like "mommy will be back in x# of days," it just feels like forever and can be quite frightening.

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M.H.

answers from Seattle on

I believe that you can wean slowly - you have tons of time.

Perhaps the first step is to stop pumping for the bottles. Just let all bottles contain milk. Then you can work on the actual nursing sessions. Most of what i've read suggests giving each step about 5-7 days before going to the next. So, make all whole milk for a week, then remove a feeding for a week, then move on. If you pay attention to your daughter's response and behavior i think you'll find it can happen naturally.

Using a bottle for longer isn't going to hurt her. However, you could start trying her on a cup for some of the bottle feedings. Maybe give her a sippy cup with her meal, instead of a bottle? Slowly move from bottle to cup. If she is at a table, you can even start her on a normal cup at this age instead of a sippy cup.

As to night time nursings and weaning, i think it would be easier to first decouple the nursing and the putting down. While we were preparing for this step we starting nursing, and THEN changing diaper, brushing teeth, getting in bed. We also started having me nurse, and then having dad put her down.
Additionally, when we were trying to eliminate night time feedings, dad went in to calm her instead of me.

It may be painful for a few days to transition. However, i think it should end fairly quickly if you stick to the plan, and i think it would be better to introduce the changes slowly over the next five months than try to do them all at once in May.

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S.W.

answers from Eugene on

Sounds like you two both enjoy nursing so I would keep that up as long as you are both happy and give her the cow's milk at daycare if pumping is wearing on you. Maybe you could introduce a lovey for your lo to snuggle while you are nursing and at daycare she could cuddle the lovey while she has cow's milk from a sippy cup? Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Portland on

M.,

I was in your same position in May when my daughter turned 1. I decided to wean first and then eliminate the bottle later. It went really well.
I eliminated one breast feeding at a time and replaced the feeding with a bottle of whole milk. I'm not even sure my daughter noticed the difference. The key seemed to be having the bottle ready when I went into her room, that way she didn't have to wait while I prepared it. If she had to wait, then she would get fussy, since she knew my breast was right there. I eliminated the day breast feeding first, and the before bed feeding last.
Good luck. Don't stress about how to do it too much. Hopefully your experience will be like mine and you'll find that it's a lot easier than expected.
K.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I stopped pumping at work when my daughter was 14 months old and moved to the waddler room. There they were served milk from cups and she was fine with that.
I had dropped night feedings around the same time, but offering her a bottle of water when she woke up at night. It took a week or two and she got the hint and started sleeping through.
We continued nursing (morning, evening and on the weekends during the day) until she was 19 months old and I have to say I regret weaning at that point. She is now using a pacifier for her sucking needs, which is basically how we weaned, I just gave her the paci and held her tight instead of nursing her to sleep. It was a convenient time because our schedule was off after international travel and my husband had made it very clear that he wanted me to stop nursing... but in retrospect we both were not ready.
So if you both still enjoy it, just keep going.

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L.M.

answers from Seattle on

If you are ready to wean, I'd cut out one feed at a time or one pump session at a time. You can still keep up with nighttime nursing but cut out the day sessions. I BF til a little over 2 and then cut out nap BF and AM. We are still holding onto the before bed session. Pedis do recommend taking away bottles between 12 and 15 months. My DS had a hard time with sippy cups til he was closer to 18 months. Weaning is hard no matter when you do it. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M.,
With my first son I cut out a feeding at a time, about every three or four days and we transitioned nicely to just bottles when he was about 7 months old. He was always supplemented, so was familiar with bottles, which was good. Now I have four-month-old twins and couldn't nurse them in the day because of my demanding toddler and low milk supply, so I chose to wean them off daytime feedings and now solely nurse them about three times during evening/night. We still supplement during that time, too, but at least I know they're getting that bit of breast milk each day and I am able to go all day without nursing or pumping as my body now knows just to produce milk at night. It took about two weeks to transition to this arrangement. As for the bottle after age 1, my son finally gave his up at 18 months. I have a friend whose daughter gave hers up at 20 months and others who gave them up earlier. It all depends on the child and whether or not they are ready. I know that doctors recommend no bottles after age 1, but you don't want to take everything away at once!

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C.S.

answers from Portland on

You do not have to wean right now, and yes you can stop pumping at work. She is at the age where she should be eating table foods. Yogurt is a great thing for her to be eating. This will help replace what you were providing with your milk. Then when you are together and it is bed time let her nurse. I did this with both of my kids until they were two. The milk when they are older is not only food, it is comfort, but most important it is your immunity. A good thing with the H1N1 going around.

As for the bottle, this is the age where a sippy cup is really handy!

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

Keep in mind that all of this can happen in phases. Personally, I stopped pumping right around her first birthday. I phased in sippy cups and phased out bottles at this time. I tried to associate cows milk with sippy cups. She was already using the cups for water so it wasn't a huge adjustement. I just hid the bottles away because she would "ask" for them if she saw them.

As for weaning, the day time part was easy since we use day care. I continued nursing twice a day (morning & night). I would always offer milk in a cup first and then allow her to nurse if she wanted to. Eventaully, she took the milk from the cup more often than not. ANd then I just told her that the "mama milk was all gone" (terms that she understood). We just stopped completely about a month ago at 15 months.

Hope that helps and good luck!

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T.P.

answers from Portland on

I did not breast feed so that aspect I can't speak too. However, my pediatrician encouraged me to wean my daughter off her bottle when she was 1 year old. By then she already used a sippy cup for her water/juice and only had a bottle at nap and bedtime. I ignored the ped and at 26m old I still give my daughter a bottle of milk at nap and bedtime. She drinks her morning milk out of a straw cup and at the babysitters and Nana's house she only uses a sippy so I know she could give up her bottles without much trouble. BUT, I like still giving her a bottle at those times, it is a nice intimate way for her to settle down and honestly, I just don't see the harm in it. Now, if she wasn't using a sippy and ONLY used a bottle for everything I would be more concerned. My opinion in your case is that if you still want to use a bottle for naptime and bedtime then go for it. Just make sure you introduce sippies for other times. My good friend (one of my daughters babysitters) just had a baby so I'm thinking we might take her bottles over there and "gift" the bottles to the baby so my daughter can have all her milk "like a big girl". I think I'M ready to give up the bottles now :-) I know my daughter is.

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