Updated: Anyone Been Through This???

Updated on September 01, 2010
L.D. asks from Newport Beach, CA
12 answers

I’ve had 2 kids. With my second I gained a lot of weight. I’ve lost pretty much all of it and now I’m 110 lbs. Here’s the problem. I’ve become obsessed with losing weight. When I reached my ideal goal of
130-125 lbs. I couldn’t stop. I thought o.k. just to 120, to 115. Now I’m down to 110. Part of the problem is that once I lost all that weight I got all my energy back, I started to play more with my kids, going hiking, to the park, bike riding everything. It’s been such a good feeling!

Anyway, counseling hasn’t helped much. My friends just tell me I’m crazy. O.K. that doesn’t help me either.

I want to stop. I do, but every time I’m about to eat, I talk myself out it all freaked out that I’ll just put all that weight back on! Has anyone out there been through this and how did you stop it?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

I'm so touched that you all responded with such care & concern. First thing I did was make an appointment to see my Doctor. I've known that I should but didn't want to because, up until now, I didn't want to stop losing weight. Now I do.

Secondly, I had never thought about getting a nutritionist. Even though I eat very healthy foods (when I do eat LOL) a nutritionist could help me maintain a healthy weight. Great suggestion!!!

Thank you so much! You truly helped me! Hugs to you all.

Featured Answers



answers from Asheville on

Sounds a bit like unmanaged emotional reactions only in reverse. Yes, there are things you can do. - I'll e you.

1 mom found this helpful

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answers from Redding on

It sounds like you've become obsessed with your weight and you enjoy being thinner so you have a fear of gaining weight again.
The human body needs food as fuel to survive. It's just that simple.
The first thing you should do is get rid of your scale. The second thing you should do is see a different counselor if the one you have isn't working.
If you can't stop yourself now, what will you do when you're down to 90 and can't stop?
Get more help to stop the cycle now. Do it for your kids. And for your heart.
Anorexics die of heart failure.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

You have two children that need you to eat healthy. Get to a counselor. I agree with the other poster it looks like anorexia. Take care of yourself for them.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

It becomes a "problem" when you cannot control it.
Then it is an eating disorder... and preoccupation which invades your life and you cannot control it. Of which a 'fear' of gaining weight is an eating disorder.... because it impacts intake and consumption. Especially if unhealthy. Then it is also a health problem.

Seek a support group...

all the best,

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

you sound like an exercise bullemic, its someone who burns more calories than they eat in a day after goal weight is obtained as an obsession, you need to seek help, i was this way as a teenager and started to grow white fur, the bodies natural defense against this kind of thing is to warm itself (it was scary)....when i got to 91 lbs it had to stop. Its not about looking good i know , its about control. You have to rewire your thinking, and this may take a professional.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Gainesville on

Yes, do talk with your doctor, get a referral to a nutritionist that has experience with eating disorders along with a therapist that has experience in the area as well. The good news is you recognize there is a problem and are seeking to take action.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

It does sound a lot like anorexia symptoms. 110lbs doesn't sound too skinny now, but what happens when you reach 105lbs, then 98lbs, then 90lbs? When will you feel thin/healthy enough? It's great that you reached your goal and that you FEEL healthy now, but if you're talking yourself out of eating, even when you logically KNOW you should, that's a problem. And it's not just about choosing to eat - you seem to be at a place where you are choosing to eat but your mind won't let you actually take that bite. You should definitely consult with a doctor (not just a counselor) who specializes in anorexia and decide the next steps to take because left untreated, it could lead to death. You need to get this under control for yourself and your family. I wish you luck and more importantly, I wish you good health.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, L.,

I experienced something similar to what you experienced but was not quite as concerned about putting the weight back on.

As a graduate psychology student, I've studied treatment methods (e.g. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Cognitive Therapy, mindfulness, IPT) for eating disorders. If your counseling has not helped much, I recommend that you have an honest discussion with your counselor/psychotherapist/psychologist/psychiatrist. Ask that person which treatment method he or she uses. If he or she says eclectic and does not clearly elaborate, then he or she probably does not really understand which methods he or she is using. If your provider seems knowledgeable but his or her method doesn't work for you, try another provider. You might also listen to guided imagery CDs, such as though sold through Belleruth Naperstek's website.

Best wishes,
Lynne E.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

I haven't been through that but perhaps you could go see a dietician and discuss how and what to eat to stay at your current weight. Maybe if you are certain that you are making the right choices about food it will be easier to eat because you know it is OK and the right amount to maintain your weight loss! Keeping up with the counseling wouldn't be a bad idea either!
Congratulations on losing the weight! And good luck finding a way to eat healthy and continuing reap the benefits of the weight loss with your kids.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

It might be anorexia. Keep going to therapy and discuss this with your primary care doc. Have you ever had nutrition counseling?

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

well by not eating your body starts to feed off muscle and hangs on to fat...so i always try to eat right and not skip...just up your fruits and veggies...don't let your body go into starvation mode..it will make it so its harder to lose weight in the end b/c it will learn to hang on to fat.


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

It's good you are in counseling and it's good you recognize you have a problem. How would your children and your husband feel if you died? They'd be devastated! How could they celebrate Mother's Day while mourning you? Losing weight when you were over weight was a healthy thing to do and good for you and your family. Now, you need to gain a little weight because it's a healthy thing to do and good for you and your family. You can eat nutritious food and just gain 10 or 15 lbs. Have an egg every other day. Eat an avocado. Once in a great while, you might splurge a little and have an order of French fries (ok, they are not so healthy but once a month is not bad for you) or a piece of bacon. You want to be there for them as they grow and go through school and to dance at their weddings and to see your grandchildren. You won't put it all back on, just a little bit. We can do a lot for the sake of our kids that we could never do for our own sake. Please keep going to counseling. You can beat this!

1 mom found this helpful
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