Uninterrupted Sleep Needed!

Great book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Mark Weissbluth. There are lots of great ideas in there for desperate moms and dads!

Sorry to tell you but my pediatrician said you shouldn't really do CIO until 9 months. The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is good, but I believe it will tell you that at 5 months 1-2 wakings at night is normal. You might want to read it though, it may give you some ideas to help. I understand, we tried everything with my daughter and nothing worked until we let her CIO at 10 months. Now she is a great sleeper.

I don't think my son slept through the night until he was almost 9 mos. old. I used to wake him at 11:30 before I went to bed and feed him it seemed to work and he'd sleep until 6:30. He's a great sleeper now (at 18 mos.) hang in there it can't last forever.

Hi B..
I know there are some mums out there who revel at the fact their little ones sleep for 8 or 9 hours uninterrupted. However, that is not the rule... honestly, it's the exception. MOST babies just do not sleep through the night. And, if you think about it... neither do adults. The trouble is as adults we roll over and immediately get ourselves back to sleep. Babies haven't learned that yet.

In addition, he is only 5 months old. He really hasn't reached the age yet where they cry just for attention. At his age babies still cry for a reason. That reason could be he just needs to check in with mom and dad. This is normal. Babies need that reassurance mom and dad are still there... they need that contact.

My daughter, who is now 9 months old, woke several times during the night. I think its GREAT you have your husband go in and soothe him. I didn't do that... and wound up trying to feed her all those times! EEK! Finally we figured out that she was waking or other reasons and my husband then took over. She still wakes once during the night... usually around 3am and wants to eat then. But we have cut way back on the night wakings. I noticed a real turning point when she became more mobile and active during the day.. she wore herself out!

Keep to your routine... try to sleep when you can. Unfortunately sleepiness is just part of it.

I have to say from my point of view crying it out is not an effective sleep trainer. I believe it doesn't teach your children to sleep better, it teaches your children that when they cry for you you will not come, and thus they cry themselves back to sleep because there is no other option. I'm not sure that there is any other way to look at that.
Now, how you feel about doing that is what can change. Do you feel comfortable doing that or not? It is a personal choice every mom has to make. Me, I personally feel like it is not something I am willing to do.
I chose to co-sleep with each of my children until they were personally ready to move in to their own bed and sleep through the night on their own. My son was about 6 months old when he would stop night waking, and sleep through the night. So, we weaned him from sleeping in his co-sleeper in bed with us to a portable crib on the other side of our room. It was only about 2 weeks of that before we felt he was ready for his own crib, and when we started putting him in there, he went down and slept through the night with out crying. We never had nights of staying up all night with a crying baby because he was in bed with us. He would wake up, reach to touch me, and fall back asleep comforted by being with us.
Traditionally and biologically children are tuned to want to sleep next to their mothers until they've build up enough confidence to sleep on their own.
I found that co-sleeping was a great bonding time for me and my baby and it saved us a lot of cry-filled nights.
If you're not willing to co-sleep try and understand that your child is biologically wired to want to be near you, especially in the vulnerability of sleeping alone at night. There is nothing wrong with your precious baby boy, just with America's expectations of him.

Hi B.

We had a similar problem with our son, who is now nearly 5 months old. He would also go all night without eating, but would wake up several times during the night and wouldn't stay asleep the rest of the night unless he was sleeping on top of myself or my husband. What worked for us was getting a wedge pillow for his crib designed specifically for reflux, breathing probs, etc. As soon as we got that he started sleeping through the entire night. We had tried propping towels under his cradle mattress but even that didn't work. He doesn't stay sleeping on the pillow the whole night, but he does stay asleep!
Also, we had no luck with Zantac. If your son is big enough (weight-wise), you may want to ask your pediatrician about Prevacid solu-tabs. They work much better for us.

Hope you get some sleep soon! You'll feel a ton better even after the first night!!

Much to my own frustration I have learned that some kids are just like that. My youngest also had reflux and would wake frequently in the night. As she got older (she's 3 now) she learned how to entertain herself and wouldn't fuss. Just "talk" or "play" quietly. Sometimes she would get loud and we would have to talk to her. We also learned to sleep with the baby monitor off - just so she wouldn't disturb us. Our oldest daughter has always been an excellent sleeper, and even though the two girls share a room will sleep through her sisters wakefulness. Now that she's older she does it less and less - but there are still nights.

I read a great book recommended to me called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". I forget the author and don't have the book since I've lent it out, but I'm sure you could find it on Amazon. It's worth reading. Good luck getting your Zzzz's!

Hi B. -

I did not read all of the other responses, so sorry if I say things already said.

Your son sounds exactly like mine was at that age. From the reflux, to the catnaps, to the multiple waking in the early A.M. I remember a time when my son was up at 4, 5, 6 and 7 in the morning. And still waking a few times at night to nurse. It is really tough, so I can certainly empathize with you.

I am just going to mention what worked for us, though every baby is different. We made sure that he fell asleep on his own (Which he always did at bedtime, but not at naptime). When he would nap, he would sleep 30 minutes, to the minute. We were not cry-it-out people. So, I would go in and try and resettle him so he would go back to sleep. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not. We tried to stick to the same naptimes (which was tough b/c he was so tired) and always did the same routine. Honestly for us, it was time that helped resolved that issue. Once he was able to fall asleep on his own and we managed to get into somewhat of a routine, it just worked itself out.

As for nightime, same thing. Make sure he goes to bed about the same time, same routine. When he wakes (outside of hunger), we would go in and console just until he stopped crying. Then we would lay him back down. It can be a long, toug process, but it does work. We would repeat until we laid him down, walked out and he did not cry. It is really hard with reflux babies, b/c you don't know if they are waking from that or something else. At this age though, I feel he really still needs you guys. I know it is hard to be so sleep deprived, but it will get better with consistency and patience. Also, I don't know how you feel about bringing him to bed with you in the early A.M, but that worked for a while for us. He slept in his own crib for naps and at night, but if he was up repeatedly, I brought him in w/us. Just a thought.

And as a I am sure so many others already said, sleep whenever you can. I know it is somuch easier said than done, but make at least a little time to do so until this phase passes.

Good luck!

I put up with the night waking of both my children until about 8 months old and then I put a stop to that and read a book, "How to solve your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Ferber. I wish I would have read it earlier. It talks about all kinds of habits and ways to solve their sleep problems and situations you have created for your child or that your child has developed. So I created a plan and went from there. It wasn't just letting them 'cry it out' it was helping them to learn new sleep habits. Devloping those sleep habits when they are young is essential for them to be able to function as toddlers and for YOU to function as an adult. Unfortunately, yes, I did have some crying going on in my house. My little girl could scream for 2 hours straight and my little boy he topped her and went for 3 hours. Now some would say I was a horrible parent, but I feel they are better kids and I am a better parent for having better sleep. Good Luck.

I know you will get lots of advice, a lot of it probably conflicting, so I won't add anything about how to get your son to sleep through the night because my three didn't either until they were almost a year (and that's without medical issues). As far as YOUR sleep goes though - do what ever you can to get 5 hours of UNINTERRUPTED sleep. I was a walking zombie whenever I didn't get those five uninterrupted hours. Your body need that time to get into its deeper, more restful state.

Best wishes!

Hi B.,
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but my son was just like yours! We couldn't figure out anything to get him to sleep without waking. He is now 13 months old and STILL does not sleep thru the night.
After months of being sleep deprived, my hubby and I had to set a schedule for us. We actually take alternating night duty. So I have him Friday night he has him Sat and so on.
On days that I am absolutely exhausted, my husband will sleep on the couch and I will turn the baby monitor in my room off. At first it was hard to turn off the monitor... but eventually I learned to trust that my hubby would take care of everything.
If you can find a way to get him to stay sleeping, Great!... but I would suggest you and your husband finding ways to cope with your baby's routine. (It'll save you lots of energy in the long run!)

Have you tried putting the cot on a slight incline, it might make it easier for your son to sleep as it helps with reflux. But it won't necessarily help him sleep through, i wouldn't expect that for another few months.

You could try where possible to get to bed ealier or do an express bottle, and try and convince hubby to give it on the weekends so you can get a couple extra hours.

Or you can maybe try introducing solids, that helped with one of mine.

Good luck!

It sounds to me like he's doing amazingly well helping you get more sleep. I know you're back to work and I'm not sure what you were expecting this to be like. Breastmilk is digested fast and he is growing fast, too. Even formula fed babies awake at night a lot. I know some babies don't but they're the exception. Babies need to be fed and cuddled around the clock. I think the idea of feeding him a little after midnight is a great one, and should help. Getting uninterrupted sleep is unrealstic. Letting an infant cry it out when he has no sense of time or where you are is very h*** o* him. He's smart enough to keep crying so he can be rescued. You don't want him to learn to deny his needs and shut down his feelings - neither are healthy for little ones. Just meet his needs and he will grow healthy and well-balanced. You'll be glad you've done your best for him. You'd be surprised at some families' nighttime awakenings, even with much older children! Hang in there, Mom!!

Hello B., Since your son wakes at the same times, I would guess that this is just his natural sleep pattern. Soothing him back to sleep is good, it will teach him to do this routinly. Right after the stage of Rapid Eye Movement there is a stage of wakefulness in the sleep pattern. Good luck.

I too experienced what you are going through with your son. My older son slept quite well, but yonger one never has been a different story. I agree with the advice someone else gave you about alternating with your husband. We have done that and it really has helped since both my husband and I work. I do believe the acid reflux gets better with age. Hang in there!

my daughter is 18months and she still doesn't sleep thru the night. i tried everything, read all the books, took all the advise, nothing worked for us. my best advice for you is get a good support system. friends, family, anyone who will watch your child while you take a nap or 2 each week. sleeping only 3-4 interruped hours each night for almost a year while working a physical job out in the elements was by far the hardest thing i've ever endured, but now she is finally outgrowing it. she still wakes once or twice, but she goes right back down most of the time now. i'm so sorry you are going through this. i wish i had a miracle cure, i'd make a fortune if i did ;)

Dear B. S.,

I have heard of several people I know personally or friends/relatives of people I know personally and ALL of them with serious problems with babies who have taken them to a chiropractor have seen miraculous progress after having spinal adjustments. It is worth a try and the cost is not that high any more if you don't have insurance. Call around and ask questions of the receptionist. Some chiropractors will accept just what your health insurance pays after the deductible is paid for the calendar year. If your income is low, just ask about that.

I have an excellent chiropractor in the Holland, MI area. If you live around here, just contact me and I will give you his phone number. He has all very energetic and happy people working for him and has all the latest things in his field, including the detoxification for the body that you step into a tub of water (I believe it is ionization).

L. C.

B.,

I had the pleasure of reading Happy Baby, Healthy Sleep and boy did it help me out alot. My son is now 2 years old and still goes to bed at 7:30pm and sleeps through until 7am. I am very blessed. Sometimes not enough sleep causes the infants to be over-tired and stressed. They need a certain amount of hours everyday. Get the book, I'm sure you'll be glad you read it.
Good luck!

He is still so little. All babies are different. You probably had a completely different experience with your first one. Babies aren't hungry at the same time every day, just like adults. He is waking up because he is hungry, wants his mom or has some need he expects you to meet. Babies go through different growth spurts and the feeding demand changes along with it. Just when you think he will be on a "schedule" he will start a grow and change your schedule, whether it be sleep or predicting his naptime so you can do something that you can't do while he's awake...like take a shower by yourself or make a phone call. This won't go on forever! None of my 3 children slept through...really slept throuhg til they were at least a year old. Letting him "cry it out" only tells him you aren't willing to be there for him. You wouldn't let him sit there and cry during the day...why at night? It's not like he's 2 and has started playing games with you. It's great you are breastfeeding! Congratulations on keeping that up and working full time. The other thing you could try is bringing him in bed with you. There is no crime in that!! I had all of mine...yes all three..in bed with us at some point during the night. Since you are breastfeeding...just "plug him in" and go back to sleep.
Just so you know, they are 29, 26 and 24 year old well adjusted adults who I "think" sleep through the night. :)

One of the reasons why La Leche League recommends sleeping *near* your baby is that the closer you are, the more naturally your sleeping and waking cycles will match. Breathing rates and even heart rates match up when people sleep close together (in the same room, within arms' reach, not necessarily in the same bed). If your sleep cycle more closely matched his, when he woke, you wouldn't be waking out of that horrible zombie phase, all groggy... nor would he wake you so much that you'd be alert for an hour afterwards (usually the real problem for parents is not falling back asleep as readily as babies do...)

Otherwise, because he is still so little, I would strongly urge you to sleep during the day when he does whenever you can -- even if your 'sleep' is just lying down staring out the window. Amazingly restful, that can be. At the very least, make sure you get real rest on your breaks at work -- reclining in comfort and relative silence, eyes closed or staring at something natural (water feature, trees, the sky).

Waiting to see if he falls back to sleep from another room may actually be part of the problem -- if he's needing to check to see that he's not alone, he may well go back to sleep without finding you, but he'll be stressed by the process. I wonder if you've tried calling out to him, so he can hear your voice and experience your presence... If he really needs something (food, change, temperature or blanket problem) he'll get noisier, but if he was just wanting to see if you were there, now he'd know. And I mean you or Dad.

8 hours of sleep a night is a lot for a small baby who only catnaps. I've never known a baby who napped for less than 3 hours at a stretch during the day to sleep longer than 4 hours at a stretch at night... It has been my observation that a good amount of rest during the day aids, rather than detracts from, good sleep at night. You didn't say anything about your daycare arrangements, so your son may just be in a place that is too active for him to rest well, leaving him too wound up by the end of the day to sleep well at night...

I would be torn between going ahead and feeding him once during the night and not having to worry about it until later in the morning or letting him cry it out. I believe in the response of going in when he cries fairly quickly, making sure he is okay (not giving him a pacifier, just checking) and then lovingly leaving. I think it sends the message: "I won't ignore you if something is wrong, but this dark, nighttime is not time for daddy and mommy to come in to visit. If you're wanting a pacifier, find it. If you want more blanket, pull it up." They get it, eventually. However, it is a price to pay, and if at 5 months it only takes one feeding to help your night, and you're desperate, I just might feed him too.

How bad is the reflux first off? Have you looked into anything other than the typical meds or is he getting too much before bedtime in his stomach? Babies have the tiniest bellies and only so much can go in before it wants to come back out in these cases of reflux. When they are laying prone, this may be only aggravating the symptoms? (think of when you have the stomach flu... it's very hard to lay certain ways without feeling worse!)

Not only that... Not everyone's five month old will sleep the night through. Mine was still up. (He still is up a few times at almost four!) Please keep in mind that ALL children have their own sleep schedule and will eventually get there.

Check out with your ped (or research natural ways) to see about the reflux to see if you can help the nighttime symptoms.

Good Luck! You will get your full night's rest before long...

hate to be the bearer of bad news but children are what they are and some children dont sleep through the night - you can't force what isnt to be :) just rest when he is - our bodies are incredible and you will adjust. Crying it out is never a good thing - teaches children that you are not there for them - bad later in life! 5 months is very young to sleep through the night. You can talk to your pediatrician if it helps you but I wouldnt worry at all. Have you considered co sleeping? or bringing a crib or pack n play next to your bed so you can pat him and he knows your there? I would think its pretty scary to be a little helpless guy and feel all alone :)

It sounds to me that he has just formed a habit. If it's exactly the same times each night, it's habit, and for me the crying it out was what solved our problem at that age. I respectfully disagree with the first poster who said that crying it out is never a good thing. Sometimes, it is the only thing. And my kids know they are very loved and that I am there for them! Most children aren't born knowing how to be good sleepers. It's something that is learned. The sooner you can teach it, the better your life will be. Baby and mommy are happiest when well rested! I had to use the cry it out with my son because the same thing was happening. Try out lasting your son and give it a week. It really should work. I wouldn't worry about the waking up at 5. I would just feed him then and put him back to bed. That will wear off sooner or later. Best wishes!

B.,

My boys didn't start sleeping through the night until around 5 months, too. And it still took another 3 months or so before they had outgrown waking up completely. That your son only wakes up once is a good sign that he's sure to outgrow it sooner than later. I also noticed around 7 months, when I really started in on solid foods, that they really were hungry and it wasn't just a habit. They weren't getting quite enough solid food, since they were still getting used to it, and I mistakenly wasn't giving them quite enough formula during the day. There was a month or so that one of them would wake up at 11pm (I have triplets, by the way) everynight, just after my husband and I laid our heads on our pillows. I was furious!

I don't know if this was any help, but make sure he gets enough to drink during the day. And you just might need to wake him up just before you go to bed at night to give him one more feeding so he'll sleep until 730. It might seem like an eternity, but in just a few months (or less) he should be a sound all-night sleeper.

The only way I could deal with interrupted sleep was to get a nap in during the day when the boys slept. I know for you as a working mom, this just isn't possible. Going for a walk or getting some other form of exercise during your lunch break might give you a little extra energy in the afternoons and evenings.

Good luck
dana

It's NORMAL for a breastfed baby especially to not sleep through the night. If you read The No Cry Sleep Solution I believe it is in there that it talks about sleeping through the night as being 5 hours at a time. Try co-sleeping or putting a co-sleeper next to your bed. To me there is nothing more important than meeting your child's needs whether they are at night or during the day. I wouldn't let my baby cry for hours during the day.. it doesn't make sense for me to let him cry for hours at night. It's a short period ot time... if you can go to bed at the same time at night as your little one.. even if it's 8pm.

My daughter is now 6 months, and last month her nighttime eating habits changed. She is exclusively breastfed and sleeps in bed with us. Because I don't have to get up to feed her during the night, she can nurse and we all can sleep. I do, occasionally wake up if she is fussing a little bit - trying to nurse my husband if she can't find me (big bed, we all have plenty of room). I just tuck her close to me and fall back asleep. The co-sleeping is great, when I am next to her we can sleep in, and if I lay with her for naps she will sometimes nap for four hours! I know all babies are different, but if I am not napping with her it is usually a 30 minute nap. And, of course, it changes all the time! What I keep reminding myself is that it is such a short period in the greater scheme of things. Any inconveniences to my "schedule" are just part of being a mama. Years later we will wish they need us.
And babies do have small bellies. They need to nurse often, even during the night.
As for crying it out..... what I have researched is that it demonstrates to the child that he cannot trust you. He only cries when he needs something, and if you or your husband are not attending to his needs, he is (in a way) being neglected for he cannot take care of himself. I do not mean to sound harsh, it is the reality of the situation. Babies cry when they need something. As for us adults.... well, we may have to make some sacrifices and changes to the way we would ideally like to live because it is different with each person you include into your life. Remember: it really is for a short time even though each day (or night) may seem to last forever.
*also note that pharmaceuticals affect our entire system - not just the "symptoms" we hope tp treat.

He might actually need to nurse more if he is on a growing spurt. sometimes they can so 6-8 hours but when they are growing through a spurt they can BF every 2

When we had our little girl in April of 2007, the doctors told us we had to sleep on her back. Any other sleeping position would increase her risk of SIDS. For the first two weeks, she woke up every hour. We were dying. One night, my husband put her on her stomach. I was so mad, but she slept 7 hours straight. I had to wake her to nurse. We never looked backed. Her naps were longer too! The more I researched SIDS and sleeping positions, I realized that putting your baby to sleep on the stomach does not cause SIDS. Nobody knows what causes SIDS. SIDS can occur in any sleeping position. I also spoke to older moms who told me that ten years ago doctors were telling you put them to sleep on their stomachs. When our daughter began sleeping on her stomach we put her in a pack and play on our room just so we could hear her. After two months she was in her own crib sleeping on her stomach and thru the night. Maybe you should try it (beginning with naptime). Your son is older and probably has way better control of his head and neck than my daughter did. This means he'll be able to move his head while he's sleeping. He's also getting close to six months old, which is when the risk of SIDS decreases alot. I hope this helps.

I agree with Amy completely. At about 6 months, I let them cry it out. My middle son was a good sleeper, my girls never were. It took 2-3 days of crying and then the habit was broken. My girls are no worse off than my son emotionally because I let them cry in their crib. Until he learns how to soothe himself and how to get himself back to sleep on his own... you, your hubby and baby are going to be very tired. An overly tired baby does not get good, restful sleep either.