Unhappy 21 Month Girl.

Updated on April 27, 2009
K.B. asks from McHenry, IL
12 answers

My daughter, a twin, 21mos. old suddenly is very unhappy. She seems like she wants something, but everything I offer her she refuses. She does not appear to be in any sort of pain and she is eating and drinking fine. If any one has any suggestions of what could be the matter, I would appreciate them.

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E.A.

answers from Chicago on

Could she be teething? Mine get REALLY crabby and don't want anything! I have twin boys that are 23 months. Is she talking yet? Mine aren't much so it makes things hard sometimes. Try having her point maybe?

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

If the ideas offered here by others do not seem to fit, do have her checked by a doctor. Something medical could be present even though she is eating and sleeping fine. Also look at what is going on in the homelife. Is there any tension between you and your husband? Is there a majoy upset or loss in your lives? Even if you try not to show it, children are sensitive to energy changes and can pick up on it. Has her behavior toward a sitter, neighbor or family member changed? If someone has done something to hurt her, heaven forbid, she can't communicate it in any other way and needs you to change things (like a new sitter) so she is safe. More than likely it is one of the other things like teething or a growth spurt, but we as parents do sadly need to be alert to harm from others when other ideas don't pan out. Just keep giving her lots of love in the mean time.

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S.C.

answers from Chicago on

There is this cranky time before they can verbalize a lot of things. Some advice is out there on sign language to help get through the interim on talking in full sentences. We didn't do sign language but really worked on language skills at about this time with my daughter. Lots and lots of reading books and repeating things. I felt like I talked to myself so much when she was this age just so that we were talking out loud in front of her.

Then of course there were some other things bugging my daughter that we didn't know about until age 3. She had some whopper allergies adding to her eczema and ear infections and I guess it just took us that long to find a doctor that said - go get her tested for allergies. Sometimes the frustration is something they can't tell us (I'm itchy, my head hurts) and watch for those allergy signs. Try a basic diet or really watch the runny nose and seasonal allergy signs.

Good luck

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter had severe fluid in her ears at a young age and had no symptoms, very few ear infections, pain, etc. The only constant "red flag" was her crankiness. The reason she was cranky was she was in constant low grade pain. I tell everyone I know to take their child to a Earn Nose and Throat Doctor for a check up bewteen 18-24 mo. They can see things a Peditrician can't with their tools. It saved my daughters hearing and I stuck with my gut something was wrong. Good luck!

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

go to the library and rent The Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD. Watch it and try his methods and I bet your crab will become happy in no time.

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J.O.

answers from Chicago on

K.
Teeth, growing pains, anything new or changes in the house all of above can make a little girl cranky/unhappy. This too shall pass hang in there.
J.

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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

Let her learn to soothe herself...she will figure out what she wants or needs and let you know if it is something she cannot get herself. She is almost 2, let her learn to be a little independent and resposnible for herself and her feelings. Have you tried asking her how she is feeling?

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D.T.

answers from Chicago on

I have three children under the age of 8. Sounds like maybe teething issues. 2yr old molers a little early? You could feel in the back of her mouth. I used childrens motrin before the afternoon nap and before bed time for a few days and that worked great.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

I've been seeing something like this with my 23 month old for the past few months. He'll be cranky or whiny and I know he wants something. So I give it to him (i.e. his milk cup). He will push it/bat it away and actually get mad. Then he'll fuss some more, take another moment for me to walk away from the area, and then grab the cup to gulp the milk down! I think this is some sort of emerging independence and control issue. He wants something...but wants to be completely independent (which is impossible!) without me involved. He'll say "no" to almost everything I offer and then cry when I take it away. I know it's strange, but I don't think it's completely out of the ordinary. I keep telling myself that this is just a phase that will end soon!

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K.P.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, there!

About two months ago, my 20 month-old showed signs of annoyance as well. I figured out through reading materials and trial and error that she just wanted some independence. This was especially true when she was eating. She wanted to feed herself and not me spoonfeeding her. Maybe give your little one some additional responsibilities (I also read this somewhere) like throwing away diapers, cleaning up books/toys, putting dishes in the dishwasher, putting clothes in the wash or dryer, pushing the stroller ... I hope this helps!

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

I would make sure she is getting enough rest. My son was very cranky when he was tired. Hope this helps.The other thought is she is approaching the terrible twos.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

When my 14 year old was a baby I was devoted to Dr. T Barry Brazelton. Part of his mantra was that babies experience periods of regressive, temperamental behavior just before an important developmental milestone. Often the parents are taken really by surprise by this and cannot figure out "what they are doing wrong". The answer is nothing. Just accept that these phases happen and try to accommodate them - modify your schedule and expectations for right now. Your fussy daughter may need less (stimulation and activities) and just more of you holding her or trying to soothe even if it seems its not working.

My experience has born out Dr. Brazelton's advice more than once. (mine are now 14, 12 and 5). I don't know if you can still get his books at the big bookstores but I highly recommend them. Good luck and enjoy your daughter!

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