Tweens with Facebook & Email Accounts?

My 12 yo granddaughter has had a Facebook account for about a year. To have one she had to friend her mother who then can look at her page. She monitors it that way. My granddaughter then opened another Facebook page without telling her mother. Her mother learned of it because her posts showed up somewhere and had her shut it down. She also lost the privilege of using her first Facebook page for a month. I don't know how she found the second account, however. Could be she just used the search for people option.

My granddaughter also has an e-mail account which her mother monitors just by looking at her account.

It's easy enough to monitor my girls at home, as we only have one shared computer (they are 13 and 16.)
But that doesn't cover it all. Even though the school computers block a lot of social networking stuff (like facebook) they still get online in other ways, like at the public library, or on their friends' iphones or computers. ALL teenagers do this.
My advice? Worry less about the tech stuff and more about your relationship with your daughter. Spend time with her, listen to her and try to give her a little independence, she needs it.
Get to know her friends, have them over, a LOT. You can't prevent every single bit of trouble a tween/teen gets into but it pays off to be really on top of who their friends are. And get to know the parents, too. My kids HATE that I talk to their friends' parents (gee, I wonder why?) but it really does take a village. We don't hash out every little thing, but we do give each other a heads up when things look like they're getting out of hand or inappropriate.
Good luck, it ain't easy or fun :(

I can't wait for Facebook.

Imagine. We used to HIDE our diaries. Our kids put theirs online. Too cool. No question about 'invading privacy' reading their diaries/journals THESE days!!!

My son has had an email acct since he was a toddler (early reader). I've just always had the password. He's currently 10... And a huge techie. He's been on design boards since he was 8. I freely admit I don't keep up with a lot of his stuff, because it's over my head, but I do keep tabs in general. I also encourage active sharing (Hey, Mom! Lookit...). Although sometimes its hard because it's over my head, or it's 10yo humor (groan)... BUT I randomly reward sharing with me, and focus on the interesting parts (like how HE feels about what he's sharing with me)... Even when it makes as much sense to me as a binary solo. Similarly, I have him teach me various things (he loves that).

- I do random spot checks

- I hang out and talk with him while he's working

- I have HIM hang out and talk with me while I'm working

- I randomly reward 'sharing'

- I check various history logs (there's more than one history saved on computers, although most people only know of one or two... there's actually half a dozen. PART of the 'rule' is that he isn't allowed to go and alter his history. If I find altered history, he's busted. Even if it was something stupid / no problem.

- I do periodic searches.

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Fact IS... he could easily hide stuff from me. There are computers at the library (public and school). There is wifi almost everywhere. Dummy accounts with fake names take 2 seconds (well, 30) to create on a separate computer.

So what I work on MOSTLY is trust, honesty, and integrity.

Won't always work. Kids push boundaries. BUT the boundaries are there, and hopefully, so too the trust. So that when he DOES choose to push boundaries he a) knows better, and b) makes it short lived, and c) will be savvy enough to avoid "interweb" / idiot mistakes (like perverts, or handing out personal information) because he's been using the internet for ages and is solid in the rules. The internet is like real life, with a safety net. Most kids push boundaries in real life (sneaky sneaky), and most kids push boundaries online.

So I mostly just treat him, how I would have wanted to have been treated (aka I think about what worked and what didn't work with ME when I was the kid).

Kids do it and parents allow it, but technically, via facebook policy, you aren't ALLOWED to have an account until you are 13 years old. In fact you have to check a little box confirming you are 13. So if you let your under 13 year old have one you are not only breaking facebook policy (maybe not a big deal) but you are teaching them it's OK to lie (a really big deal, in my opinion). I would rather model honesty and get the child outside playing with his/her friends and family rather than sitting in front of a computer chatting with them on facebook.

When all my daughter's friends were playing webkins, our tags mysteriously disappeared - every time! I couldn't see the point of playing together over the computer and I felt like it would lead to social networking too early in her life. We have so far managed to avoid these issues.

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My sks got into FB well after 14, which I think is the minimum age. We checked out their profiles when they were left up and their mom was one of their friends.

When SD got an email account at 11 (at her mom's house), I talked to her about what she shouldn't say and for years she had it listed under a fake name because I suggested that she shouldn't give out personal information. Now, that lesson fell on deaf ears when she listed her HS on FB but...she was also 17.

I would keep an eye on her. I would ask for her passwords. I would have a filter through your router or on the computer, etc. Teach her how to be safer online and tell her WHY you don't want x and y and z. She's already been bullied. Check your daughter's privacy settings and be up on what FB did this time (they are always messing with privacy).

The sks knew they were monitored, but they also knew we didn't go into their accounts nightly. We were open with them and they were often open with us, sharing their Wall, their images, etc. Knowing your kid has a lot do to with knowing if you can trust them or not.

My soon to be 12 yr old has a Facebook and is on instagram but I do monitor this stuff. I have her Facebook password and her yahoo email goes directly to my iPhone also. If I feel she is spending to much time 'plugged in' I will cut it short or tell her it's time to go outside or do another activity.
We had a situation where she was being bothered by an ex-friend on instagram and she blocked her.
I've made it very clear that this is as much social media as she's going to use. She's asked for a twitter and I said no, the Facebook and instagram is more than enough.