Facebook for 13 Year old...advantages and disadvantages...please Share

I have 11, 12 and 13 year olds and they all three have a facebook, my husband and I know their passwords and monitor their time spent on it and who they allow to betheri friends...also you can choose to not share info with people who are not their friends so it works good for us. They mainly use it to play games and talk to their cousins and freinds.

Just say no. FaceBook, You Tube, and all these other social networking sites are just bad news for teens. Bullys are just as bad if not worse than in person. Kids make bad decisions about how much to tell and who to reveal it to and the information can be out there forever in cyber space haunting you for life. These are public spaces and no information is really private plus many applications are virus ridden. Grownups have complained about their jobs to people who they thought were 'friends' and they end up getting fired or being contacted by the company legal depart facing charges of revealing corporate owned information. You need maturity to handle such wide open environments and kids (and quite a few adults) just can't handle it. People teach their kids to be so honest all the time and on the internet it is vital to never reveal who you are, where you live, credit card, banking and financial information. You have to remember at all times that no one is who they seem to be and there are stalkers and perverts out there just looking to take advantage of some youthful naivety. She's got her whole life in front of her where she can be in front of a computer and surf the web. She doesn't need to start now.

My 15 yr old started with MySpace and most all of the teens are now on FB.

Our "rule" is that I have her signin and password and I check it randomly but frequently. There are some kids who amaze me and have videos, too many pics, etc on their page. Some parents obviously do not monitor their kids's FB account.

I have a FB account and I am active on it. I am not friends with my daughter on our accounts. I simply check her account frequently. We've had no issues.

One thing I did was go to some pictures and show her NOT TELL HER BUT SHOW her how anyone can click on a pic or video, save as and then BAM, they have her pic, video or whatever she has posted. She does have her FB page with heavy privacy settings.

Just do what is right for you and your family. Some people don't let kids use computers at all. Our daughter has her own laptop and internet acces via her IPhone. She does a lot of homework with her computer as well.

Best wishes to making an informed decision.

I think as long as you are able to go on her site and view what is being posted and you feel she is mature enough to let you know if something inappropriate shows up.

Great question! Personally I would not let my older daughter on it...yet (total personal decision). BUT here is a good article if you do decide to let your daughter get an account.
http://www.nytimes.com/external/readwriteweb/2010/01/20/2...

i have only a three year old, but i have already thought of this! i have two rules my husband and i have already agreed on - #1, the computer is in a public area, #2, we have his passwords. period. my son already knows how to use a computer, and i know that by the time he's a teenager he will probably know SO much more than we do about all the technology...this is a huge issue, i hope you can find a system that works with your daughter!

R.,

Facbook is way out of hand with young teens. They are posting pictures of body parts and putting rumors about other kids that are hurtful and have the potential to be dangerous. Once something is out there, it's hard to take it back.

Personally I see not positive value to a teen having a facebook account. I'd wait until 18 and hope she is mature enough to not do something that could cost her a job or relationship in future.

Blessings...

I have older kids so facebook and the like didn't become popular til I felt like they were old enough to be on it anyway (my daughter is now 17).

Here's what I feel is best and will be changing this as technology changes and advances: I will allow my child to have a social networking account of some sort in the future. I will know their log in's and it will be an email account that I set up that's "public" between me and said kidlet and the passwords will always be up to date and current and I will have free reign to check when and where I see fit.

There will also be rules about photo's being uploaded and the permissions given. Also about friends that ask to be added (who needs a friend that's 24 when you're 13???)

There will also be limits on the time alloted for the site as well. BOTH my older kids had time limits on their accounts to where they had 2 hours in a 24 hour period that they could be on the site. Both of them knew it...and neither of them liked it...but those were the HOUSE rules so that's what they had to live with.

I think it's up to you and your child as to what you will or can tolerate. I personally am more afraid of sites like Skype and the like that make it easy for young people to "video" conference with other kids that may not be kids...if that makes any sense.

These are trying times in an electronic world...I send good wishes your way.

I was dead set against it for quite awhile for young teens. (I have a 21-year-old and 12-year-old) But then my 12-year-old's cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents and birthmom all got one, and so I relented. I look at her posts every day, when I check my own, and I have made sure all her settings are private, so that only people she has "friended" have access to her posts. I also have to approve all the "friends." She is also not allowed to post the names of people in her photos, in case others don't want their names out there. So for us it's working out and a neat way for her and all the relatives to keep in touch, since everybody is spread out all over the country. I think if you monitor it, it can be a fun thing. I would just make sure your child knows you are the one in control, and that you have the password and go on her FB every day to make sure there is no drama. Because face it, at that age there can be drama. My daughter knows if I found something I disliked, her FB would be gone.

I would not.
At this age, they do not have the sound judgment of what not to do, or of their internet/privacy behavior, online.

My friend, with her teen girls, they had an account. AND then, a man in his 40's started contacting them. Her girls just thought is was funny and a "gross" old man. BUT... they did not have the FULL cognizance of what to do or not... nor how to handle it. They even thought replying back to him was just a joke, not understanding FULLY how DANGEROUS it can be.
My friend, reported it.

All the best,
Susan

I agree with Jackie. If you are on her friends list, you would be able to view her profile & postings. Also make sure she sets EVERYTHING to only be viewed by friends only! That way you know none of her information is getting shared with anyone that she does not approve first.

I would unfortunately allow it, because 13 year olds are sneaky and she would probably do it anyways, but I would tell her that you will be monitoring it and watching her while she is on it. I agree with another Mom that said computer has to be in a public place. No computer in her room where you cannot watch it. There are so many sickos out there today, you just have to be very careful. I would also tell her you need to check out her friend list occasionally. It sounds horrible, but these days you have to!

I would not allow it. I think it's great that those here who do allow it have stated that they have their children's passwords and they check their accounts, but I would still say no. I have a 12 year old, and he isn't getting one any time soon.

I say this because I teach high school juniors and seniors, and I hear all about their exploits. They talk about the pictures they take and send to each other. I overhear the things they do on the weekends (sometimes they tell me outright). I know we can't protect them forever, but facebook and myspace just makes it too easy for the wild world to get to them. I would rather put it off a little bit longer, and at least not invite that world into my home.

I have a 14 yo and a 12 yo neither one has facebook. My now 21 yo had a Myspace and had issues with viruses trying to attack the computer. Both girls know what we went through and why. They do have yahoo accounts and I monitor them and read there emails.
We also have had to block my son from using the computer with passwords so any time they mess up with a lot of things I only have to threaten and say I can just remove that. They shape up pretty quick.