okay mommies and daddies....I need some guidance. I have an 18 month old who is my first child and I am trying to "play" with her but she seems to want to be by herself most of the time. This is awesome when I need to get things done around the house but I also want to be able to play with her and teach her things, she wont learn if she is always by herself, right??? for example, I will put her music on and she will be dancing around and I go over to dance with her and she gets mad. I will let her play blocks for a while by herself and then I will sit down and try to play with her to get some educational time in(colors, shapes) and she just throws them and gets up...kind of hurts my feelings even though I know it shouldnt. Any tips??
thank you for all of your advice! Cuddle play is one of the only things she LOVES to do with me. we play funny faces, ticking, and she loves to be with me and imitate when I am dressing, hygiene things such as combing hair, brushing teeth...lord help anyone who lays on the floor because you will become a human jungle gym for her and I LOVE IT..just was worried about the play. She will "play" with her daddy though!
Very common for 18 months. Six months from now, you will be on here
going, I can't get anything done because my little one wants me to play
all the time LOL. At this age they really do not understand the concept.
Just sit back and watch her and enjoy. Have a great day.
Pretty unusual in my experience (which only includes 2 kids) BUT, how about if you were "playing" in a sandbox etc. by yourself having fun with a funnel, some water, some buckets, a sifter trying to find some "shells" that you had planted there. Would she come join you?? That would be my plan...
I was going to suggest the same thing as Elaine. Go play something that will interest her and see if she joins in. Do you guys play when you cuddle? Like tickle and make funny faces? Maybe you need to show her your fun side. Be silly. Play lots of peekaboo. Never met a baby that didn't like peekaboo.
She won't really "get" cooperative play, or parental led play for a while. She will explore her toys and figure things out. It's how they learn. Don't take it personally. If you watch her play with a toy and she has a hard time figuring out how to use it- then you can demonstrate slowly and with very easy words how it works- and let her try to immitate you. When she's closer to 2 she will parallel play (play side by side with others) and around/past 3 she will start to cooperatively play with others.
Best wishes!
Well I have to admit that it is weird to me that she gets upset or angry if you try and play with her...I have not experienced that. BUT...my son, who is 22 months, doesn't play with me very well either. My daughter was the complete opposite. We could play and read books, do puzzles and blocks for HOURS, literally...I thought it was normal, but now with my second child I'm realizing it's not! ;) My son is happy to have me play with him but his attention is only kept for a very limited time. We'll play blocks for like 2-5 minutes, literally, and then he'll be done and want to do something else. Same goes for coloring, reading, whatever. Most of the time he entertains himself moving from thing to thing. I think your daughter will learn as long as you capitalize on the opportunities when they come around! Do songs and tickles and point out body parts when she's sitting with you, read when you can, observe what they are doing out loud so she's hearing you sort of narrate her play, stuff like that. And you know, kids learn a lot by watching you, so you don't have to be "on" all the time, just do your thing and she'll be interested in that too.
I would join her and play along side her. Maybe when you try to play with her, she has something already going on in her play world and you are interrupting and messing it up. :) Or just sit and watch her and wait for her to include you. Also, sounds funny but maybe watch how your husband interacts/plays with her to see if he lets her make the calls more? or if he isn't so into "teaching"? I have learned a lot watching my husband (and others) interact with our boys...both about him and them. Good luck. :)
A baby, WILL learn by themselves.
This is important and a necessary part, of development.
It is called exploration.
You do NOT have to, orchestrate everything that she plays with.
AT this age, even at 2-3 years old, a child... does NOT play "interactively." They do what is called: "Parallel Play."
Look it up, online.
Your baby is normal.
Get the book "What To Expect The Toddler Years."
LET your child be.
Nurture her for who she is and her own proclivities.
LET her just hang out and play.
THAT is how a baby/child learns.
I think if you would love to help "teach" her things, when you pick up, say mommy picking up the red block, or mommy is picking up the green car. Can you find a blue block? Repeat what you see her doing...I see you like to dance, this music is fast, slow, etc. Kids pick up on the mommy is only playing with me because she wants me to do something. Just let her play, and sit by her and say mommy is going to read the paper, book, balance the check book,etc. Your daughter is doing what she is suppose to do, as parents we don't want our kids to be behind schedule for development, but she is doing great. Hang in there, she'll want you to play with her one day and then you will be asking how do I get my daughter to play by herself again. : )
Maybe try playing side-by-side ... don't initiate the interaction, but sit down in the same room and start playing. She'll probably watch you a little (even if you don't realize it), and may even come and interact with you. She'll probably grow out of this.
It is terrific that she is able to play by herself! And though I understand that it could be hurtful and/or disappointing when she doesn't want to play with you, please do not take it too much to heart. The world around her is new and exciting, and she may just be getting caught up in the wonder of it all!
Perhaps you could set aside a specific time each day that is just for you and her to play/learn together. She may not respond from the start, but soon she will come to expect this playtime with mommy as part of her routine.
Also, make it a point even when she is not directly playing with you to talk with her and explain things to her. Though this obviously cannot happen all the time, it may help her feel as though she is taking part in your activities and let her know that you are still aware of her.
With my son, I often would find a well-loved toy or book that he wasn't playing with and make a big production over my playing with it. That usually got his attention right away! Sometimes he would play with me, and other times he just got the item and played with it on his own.
So just keep going and keep trying new things! One of them will click eventually! Good luck!
(Not to cast a shadow on everything, but if her solitary behavior continues to the point of atypical, such as shunning almost everyone and not wanting to play with anyone else, you might want to talk to your pediatrician regarding social behavior.)
