We have an 18m/o who, when she gets home from "school" (daycare) in the afternoons "needs" an afternoon snack. Almost the minute we get in the door she walks into the kitchen and starts asking for a snack. If we don't respond or if we try to get her distracted with her toys or a walk she gets super upset and sobs. We've tried just giving her just a sippy of milk but that doesn't cut it either. The problem is that no matter what we give her (fruit, a gerber cookie, toddler poofs, etc) she eats until she gets full (or else the sobbing ensues again) and then 45 mins later doesn't want dinner. Any help on how to corral the behavior? We can't really eat any sooner - we eat at 6:00pm as it is and get home at 5:15. I know she gets a 3:30 snack at daycare too. I'm just not sure what to do!
Thanks everyone! I like to think I know my little one well enough to know when she's testing boundaries to get what she wants and when she is truly upset about something. I'm pretty certain she was hungry when we got home. I appreciate all the great ideas about making her plate out of leftovers from the night before and feeding her right when we get home. I was nervous about not having her eat with my husband and I but I appreciate those of you who let me know the phase will pass and she will integrate into the dinner table easily later! Starting tonight I'll just feed her dinner as soon as we get home and get settled. Thanks again everyone!
I agree with Jess - feed her supper when you get home. She might be cranky because she truly is hungry. She's filling up on her snacks at 5:15 pm - but if you gave her supper, she would fill up on that.
It won't be forever - but for now.
And I don't see it as a power struggle. She is 18 months old, growing and needs to eat.
Keep the peace and have a happy family.
Good Luck!
D. in milwaukee
K.,
Can you fix her dinner separately (at least for now) so that she can eat right away when she gets home? I know that no one wants to be a short order cook in the kitchen for their family, but maybe she really needs dinner at that time. It might be worth saving left overs from your previous dinner every night and then feeding her those when you get home. You can still sit her down at dinner with you so she feels like part of the family, even if she doesn't eat much.
Good luck,
jessica
Hi K.
I had this same problem with my son when he was 18 months old. I started just makeing him a plate and putting it in the fridge for the next day for his supper which I gave him as soon as we got home and that worked nicely because then he was contained and content well I made supper for us. Good Luck this phase will pass. T.
The great thing about little ones is they only eat when they are hungry and they stop when they are full. Feed her supper when you get home. This will be a stage that maybe the three of you do not get to eat together, but feed her first, something really healthy and tasty, then enjoy dinner with your hubby when the two of you plan to eat. Baby can play with some toys on the floor while you and hubby enjoy a meal without dealing with all the details of having a little one at the table. Don't worry, you will get to another stage when all of you eat together. Just make the most of this time and enjoy your baby and having dinner with your hubby!
Happy eating!
J.
My son is 10 months old, and he eats 3-4 times/day, and the only meal he eats with us is breakfast. His other meals are on his own schedule. I think scheduled eating and "waiting for mealtime" can and will come later. I think it's more important that he knows he can eat when he needs to, and that he can stop when he is full. I think the same thoughts could apply to your daughter.
Can her snack at daycare either be larger to tide her over, or can it be pushed back, until 4:00? Can you give her a light snack on the way home from daycare, so she's not ravenous when she gets home?
Otherwise, you may just need to feed her dinner right when you get home. She wouldn't be eating with you, but you could feed her leftovers or something you've prepared for her the night before: chopped up fruits and cheese, pasta...
My son eats his last meal of the day around 4:30-5:00. He gets a snack before bed, and then he's in bed at 7:00. Once he's in bed, my husband and I sit down to dinner and relax. Maybe this sort of schedule could work for you.
I think she is crying cause she knows she will get what she wants. Crying never hurt them, and they'll get over it. Comfort her through the tantrum, don't baby her, and she'll be fine. Be strong and tell her no. If she tries not to eat dinner cause of it, she'll eat when she's hungry. If you can stick to that for a few days, you'll see. Just don't give in or you'll undo everything you've done.
Little ones are good at giving us the guilt. My personal opinion is the reason she is having the tantrum is because she knows that she will get what she wants, she is good at the guilt. My two year old does the same thing and he too is good. My husband and I have started only giving him a snack if dinner is going to be late. He gets one at daycare and dinner is around 5:30 every night so he should be fine. I would give her a sippy cup and let her have her tantrum. Eventually (hopefully sooner than later) she will realize that she is not getting what she wants and will change the behavior. Good luck!
Honestly I think that is totally in your control on weather or not she gets any and how much. I think that if you choose to give her a "SNACK" that you just need to give her a little tiny bit that wont spoil her supper and than if she cries, let her cuz I think that she already knows that you will just let her eat till she is full. If you give her nothing or if you give her a very small amount, you are still the one in control. Yes there is going to be a lot of crying because it has already been established that she gets snack when she gets home and is allowed to eat till she is full. If you stop giving in to her wanting more and just let her cry, it may only take a few days to break her!!(so to speak) Its all about the power in being able to say no!! There is a really good book out on it too, Just cant remember it right now!! Good luck
