Todder Has a Melt down When We Leave Somewhere Fun.

I was having the same problem with my son (he just turned 4 Monday) until he found out that he really could push mommy too far. I gave him warnings, but he would still scream when it was time to go. One day I very quietly and calmly told him that if he didn't get his shoes and leave with me right then we would never come back (we were at McD). I think the quiet and calm really got through to him that I was serious, it was the tone. There have been a few times since that he's talked back a little, but I just get my purse and head toward the door and he's right there. Of course, I'd never leave him, but he's gotten the message that when we say it's time to go, it's time to go. Before we go somewhere, we usually have a discussion about leaving nicely when I say it's time. I have also put him in time out when we get home and discuss his behavior when he's acted ugly, but honestly we've only had to do that once or twice. Since we finally got the message to him without being frustrated, he's done great.
Good luck!

my 3yr old also has struggled with this...sometimes i think this is bc we do not get out as much as we should, resulting in her not wanting to leave. not that this is your prob. but i am working on that. also i give her a 10min warning a 5min warning & then when i tell her it is time to go & if she asks politely (saying please may i) i allow her an additional 3-5 min, so that she learns that if she is polite she may get a small reward of a couple extra min. (but if you give them extra min. then that's it you have to be strict), however if she throws a fit then of course we do not stay & she gets a time out when we get home.
also i have a reward system of stickers & poster board, she earns stickers when she is good & does her "chores" (yes my 3yr old has chores, ie. putting up her plate after meals, cleaning up her toys, putting her clothes in the hamper etc) & at the end of the week depending on how many stickers she gets a treat. which may be anything from a special trip to the park or pool or a trip to get an ice cream cone. i have found that using "outings" as rewards works much better for us than prizes. & she learns that if she leaves a place on a good note she gets a sticker too, which will help get her to another fun place.
i hope this helps!

I had the same problem. I always have a talk with my daughter before we go in about how we will behave and depart. But the kicker is that I make a good departure part of her reward system that I have set up. I tell her I will not be able to give her that card today if we can't do a nice job of leaving. Of course the accumulated cards lead to a prize. At that age I had a prize drawing about every other D. (the prizes were leftovers from b-D. parties). My daughter is older now and it is less of a problem. Handling disappointment is a skill that must be developed. Good luck!

I haven't had this problem, but heard a good suggestion elsewhere. Give them the fair warning time, 5 , 10 minutes, whatever. Remind them that if they can't leave nicely today, they have to leave the park or playdate or whatever early next time, then stick to it! Make it a point to leave the next fun place before others are wrapping up, and remind them it's because they couldn't leave nicely. It'll probably take a few tries. The other option would be to lose an outing all together for every not nice exit.

Hi C., we went through the same thing. We started giving a warning countdwon, 10, 5, 3, 2, 1 minute and beginning with the 3 minute would tell her that we were going to leave and then do x, y and z. When she complained, we said that if she has a meltdown we would not come back. We had meltdowns the first few times and my husband literally carried her out instantly so she started to get the picture. It is a tough thing as it is embarassing but remember that all parents go through it... Good luck!

Jane has the right idea. Well, everyone does, actually. But Jane's way of the *serious tone* really truly IS the way to get through to a preschooler! Nothing's ever 100% though, so at those times, the best I can do is ask if he wants to go home and do X - making sure X is something he loves to do, like paint, or play in the pool, or something else equally enticing. It's not a sure-fire solution, but has definitely worked for me when all else fails.