To Pacify or to Not Pacify That Is the Question..

Updated on June 07, 2017
B.B. asks from Douglasville, GA
17 answers

Exclusively breastfeeding 7 week old.. at times want to just get things done in the house but he wants to be comforted by being on the breast.. (he does not suck his thumb, only when in his daddy's arms and that only sometimes)..i was completely against pacifiers.. and still kind of am.. but i want to know if anyone has any suggestions from personal experience with pacifiers..

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Thank you everyone for your time and feedback. I really appreciate it.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

My son didn't really like them - used it once as a newborn for about 20 minutes and that was it. The down side, from those who have used them, is that they fall out and either get lost or dirty (unless you use one of those things that attaches to it), and they can't put it in their mouths themselves. So they get super frustrated, and the parents spend all their time reinserting it. But the good thing is that you can eventually take it away. (Google "Binky Fairy" for that technique for an older child.)

My son loved his thumb. The good part is, he could never lose it. The bad part was, we couldn't take it away. He needed braces but then again, many kids do for other reasons.

Personally, I think you do what works for you. Kids calm themselves down in a variety of ways. There is value to calm, to good sleep, and to just going with the flow with babies.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

One of my kids loved his paci. The other flat-out refused to take one. Both breastfed until after age 1. They both grew up to be great kids, and the paci-loving kid did not take it to kindergarten :)

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I started out thinking 'my kid won't use a pacifier'... when, however, at around 6 months or so that we finally found a paci that worked (instead of my pinkie, which was the only other comfort when I couldn't nurse, ugh) -- I was so happy! It really does alleviate their urge to constantly suckle (which they do for comfort, their brain is hardwired to respond to suckling = satisfaction) and my son really wanted that. We had to try a few and it was worth it.

I'd say, give it a try! We mostly used it for car rides, teething (nice for them to have pressure on the gums instead of just a nipple during feedings) and he easily grew out of it...dumped it right around 18 months without any problems.

A couple things: a pacifier should be used *after/with* loving comforting for when baby is upset. It should be an additional tool-- you are your baby's first emotional comfort, so always do what you can to soothe him (don't just stick the paci in at the first sign of upset)...Also, be prepared that some people will make comments. It does happen. Remember that the comments from the general public are generally based in opinion, not fact, and are rarely correctly informed.(although I found that the people who 'needed' to comment really had their own issues-- I mean, who really NEEDS to comment to a parent about their baby other than "how cute!"?) I worked with kids and babies for a long time before I had my son, and I can assure you: they all turned out pretty okay, paci or not, and none of them ever graduated with one in their mouth. :)

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I tried it with my oldest. We ended up calling it an "actifer". My daughter hated it and got so upset with it.

My yougest used it for a few weeks and just stopped using it.

Personally, I would try it. Your child won't go to kindergarten with it after all and if it provides comfort now you'll be grateful you have one.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Our son was a thumb man from birth (and probably before).
He never took to any pacifier.
When ever he was tired his thumb went right to his mouth.
Right around pre school was when we started to tell him to save it for naps and bedtime and eventually he stopped altogether.

Having a baby is a new exciting exhausting experience.
Give up a little bit on 'trying to get things done' for awhile.
What ever it is will still be there later on, but babies grow quickly and you'll miss it eventually.
Enjoy it while it lasts - and nap when the baby naps.

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M.B.

answers from Miami on

That's very normal for a exclusively breastfeeding 7 weeks old. By using you as a pacifier, he's helping your breast to produce more milk in a few days... That's Mother Nature doing her job! Hang in there my friend!!!

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F.B.

answers from New York on

My older one used one for less than two weeks and then refused it. My little one is a year and a half and loves his to pieces. We use the nuk. Use whatever your baby takes to. Some just don't care for them.

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D..

answers from Miami on

I did not want to be a human pacifier. I gave both my kids pacis. It helped them because they needed to suck just for the act of sucking, not for just eating. So does your child.

My ped explained to me that I needed to take the paci away at around 5 to 6 months, which is when the sucking instinct goes away, but before it's an ingrained habit.

This worked for us.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Babies need to suck. It's genetic, hardwired into their DNA. If they don't suck they don't eat well.

So a baby that needs to suck will find something to suck. Whether it's eventually their thumb or their blanket corner or a pacifier. I'd rather have them suck something shaped to fit their mouth, that won't cause harm or that can be taken away at some point in the future.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

We had them for our babies. Worked very well for us. The key was getting a shape that worked for them. I think we used Nuk (?) pacifiers. They were kind of the same shape as the bottle nipples we used too - I think.

With he exception of a colicky phase my babies all went through around 6 weeks, the soothers worked super well for when they needed to be soothed. Otherwise I would have had to have breastfed them to soothe them (as my friend did) and that's not practical when you have more than one. My husband could snuggle and give the soother and it gave me a break.

Some babies don't care for them - but I'd try a few types before giving up. It's up to you. Not everyone uses them.

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Q.1.

answers from Portland on

i too wasn't hoping to avoid pacifiers but my oldest daughter just wanted to suck and could get mad when I tried to breastfeed her because she wasn't hungry. So we ended up with a pacifier that gave her a cross but because of the way she used it. (We took it away at age 2.)

My younger daughter went straight for her thumb. I sort of prefer a pacifier because you can take it away. I was a hard-core thumbsucker until age 10 so I wanted to avoid that but luckily she didnt.

So it obviously runs in my family. Several other family' members sucked theirs fingers too. Turns out that there is something on the roof of the mouth the stimulates a nerve for self-soothing. My daughters' tongues couldn't quite push it without something else in their mouth.

I believe that if I'd had their tongue ties clipped that this wouldn't have happened, nor the horrendous experience that I had breastfeeding my first. No one mentioned it at the time but I learned this recently as my youngest has been diagnosed with sleeping with apnea (after I was). Thumb sucking and night-terrors are clues. (They can happen exclusively during naps apparently.)

SORRY For the long-winded post but I had never seen this information and I hope it helps someone.

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T.D.

answers from Springfield on

i found a pacifier that looked like my nipple and used that to save me from the issues that being a human packiifier can create took it away as soon as i could with ds it was 13 months with dd it was about 22 months old.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Did you mention in your other post that you tried it and he just spit it out? You can try again, but if he does just spit it out, then he might not want it at all. That happens. Some babies don't like pacifiers. There's really nothing wrong with them at this age. They get a bad reputation because some moms have a really hard time getting their child to give up their pacifier or because they don't take it away and their child has dental issues. But as long as you don't use them for too long, they really are ok.

My boys weren't interested. There were some days I was so desperate for sleep that I tried them. The were not interested! Other moms told me to be grateful that I would never have to ween them off the pacifier. Yes, it's true that I didn't have to do that, but at the time it was of little comfort to me. I just wanted to help them sooth.

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B.O.

answers from Topeka on

I didn't have any problem using pacifiers while I was breastfeeding. My little one still preferred to comfort nurse, but would take a pacifier in the crib at night to self soothe. It also helped with the weaning transition. I say let him have one!

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K.N.

answers from Atlanta on

I exclusively breastfed 2 kids for 6 months each. Did not want to use pacies and didn't. He's only 7 weeks. He still wants to be close to u. I'd say stick it out and don't use them. I feel your pain though. My 2nd baby nursed for 10 minutes at a time every hour. THAT was nerve-wracking. I literally just walked around shirtless, with just a bra on for 6 mths.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

My firstborn preferred his thumb, my second born liked a pacifier for a short while. He gave it up on his own pretty early, before a year. He was an excellent nurser and the standard Nuk pacifier didn't impede that at all.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Dont force it. My daughter had her thumb and my son had nothing. I kinda sorta tried a pacifier with him but he wasn't that into so I ditched it. He's fine. He ate fine and the best part was I had nothing to break him of, unlike my daughter and her thumb!

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