Help Introducing Pacifier to Breastfed Baby

Updated on September 01, 2008
C.K. asks from South Amboy, NJ
17 answers

My adorable 6 week old has been breastfed from birth. Starting at 3 weeks he regularly received a bottle for a nighttime feeding. We tried a pacifier with him off and on starting from when we were in the hospital, but Ben just wont take it. He uses me as a human pacifier, sometimes drawing his feedings out to an hour or more. Needless to say, my breasts cant take much more. Any ideas on how to get him to accept the paci? He resists pretty hard.

More details: I've tried a bunch of pacifiers, including the Soothie, and I'll keep looking for one that might work. Usually when I try to give him a pacifier he either locks his jaw or starts screaming at the top of his lungs. He even screams if you try to give him a pinky - even in the hospital when he was born. As soon as he figured out that it wasn't a breast, he let loose with some VERY loud complaining.
He is doing a great job gaining weight, so no worries about him getting enough to eat. I have considered the fact that its one less thing to wean him off of and initially I was pleased with the fact that he refused them, but between the colic and the constant breastfeeding, I am too sore!

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L.L.

answers from New York on

CONGRATS C.... first for the birth of your son and second that you are choosing to breastfeed! I'm a mom of 2 little girls 3yrs & 15months. I breastfed both of my girls. My 1st born never took a paci--- let me clarify only for a few weeks and that was forced upon her for the same reasons as she used me as a human pacifier as well. She ultimately hated it and never took it. I'm actually glad that she didn't now in hindsight. It made it much easier for me to not have to try and take anyting away from her (paci) when she got old enough. I was able to sooth her with my breast if she was upset or tired. I also nursed her to sleep all the time it just worked out for me and I found it easy again hindsight it was easier at the time it seemed at times like a pain but other I loved it. Now my 2nd little one I gave the paci to right away and needless to say I was only able to nurse her for 4 full month becasue my milk supply greatly decreased becasue of the fact tha she ALWAYS had that darn paci. She preferred the paci over meand feeding so I had no choice to but to start supplumentsing with formula at 4 1/2 months and stop nursing nursing completely at 6 months cause I didn't have enough to fulfil her. Personally I regret that fact that I gave her the paci.... None the less like I said she's 15months old and still has the darn thing and I'm having the hardest time taking it away from her. So after my long winded ramble I would choose this battle carefully. Personally I wouldn't give him one. My first born was colicy as well ... have you tried Gripewater for his colic? It's 100% natural and it was the only thing that helped my daughter. So I wish you lots of luck and what every decision you make. I'm sure will be the right one for you. Best wishes ~L.

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L.S.

answers from New York on

My baby wouldn't take the breast, after 2 months of trying, and is on exclusively pumped breastmilk. She also would never take the pacifier even though she was started on a paci in the NICU. She did a handful of times when really pushed, but overall she just didn't like it, and some babies just don't. I guess you'd just have to take her off the breast when you think she's done, offer the paci once of twice, and then just let her be upset a little, until either she takes the paci or gets used to not having one (like your breast). You may want to try several didn't shaped pacifiers before giving up.

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C.B.

answers from New York on

C.,
Emilia is 5.5 months old, and loves her binkie, although if I didn't give it to her, she wouldn't fuss. She wouldn't take a pacifier until about 3 months, though. I exclusively breast feed, and like you, wanted relief from being a "human pacifier."
I know it's tiring, but take comfort in the fact that you are able to sooth him. Don't let that term get to you. You're baby needs comfort and you're it Mamma! Enjoy it. In the meantime, continue the on demand feeding, let him enjoy you. Soon enough he'll want to do other things. I assure you, the feedings will get shorter as he gets bigger and more comfortable in this big, wide world.
Emm finally took the paci around three months. I quietly broke her latch and popped it in her mouth simultaneously. She still refused it for about a week or two, then got used to it. She especially likes to play with it with her hands, and chew on the opposite side. She wouldn't take a paci that has a flattened edge to it, by the way. And she still prefers the smallest one, 0-3 months.
I may be extreme, but Emm never got colicky. She didn't want to lie flat without me for the first 3 months, so I never put her down, except when she was in the deepest sleep. I wore her around in a sling, and still put her in and carry her in it if she seems fussy. (I hate that word). Restless is better. It quiets her immediately, and for hours! She's the best baby! I could vacuum, do dishes, carry laundry - everything, and she went right along for the ride! Good luck!

C.B.

answers from New York on

Some kids just don't want it. Let the baby suck your hand, their own hand, a toy. It doesn't have to be the breast or paci.

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H.G.

answers from New York on

I know it's hard, and I've been through the same experience! But I recommend NOT trying to teach your son to use a pacifier. Mostly, because he doesn't want it. (Mine never took one for more than 20 seconds without spitting it out.) Your son will probably learn to suck his thumb eventually, and that will help him self soothe. It's an area many don't agree on, but I think thumbs are better than pacifiers. He'll sleep better (eventually) with the ability to self soothe, and you won't have to go in and pop the binky back in his mouth a bunch of times each night! He'll also naturally wean himself off his thumb, rather than you having to deal with the pacifier issue.

On the other hand, your poor breasts must be sore sore sore right now. Mine hurt until 8 weeks, no matter what the lactation consultant said, because my son used me as a human pacifier as well. It helped me to gently unlatch him as soon as he was asleep, but in all honesty- it just takes time. By 8 weeks, he was much less inclined to nurse so madly. I think if you just use lanolin when possible, and try to hold out a little longer, you'll find that your son becomes more and more interested in the world around him. Then he'll want to look and play, rather than nurse all the time!

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A.B.

answers from New York on

I had the same problem with my daughter when she was about the same age. I tried every different paci they sell but she didn't like any of them. She didn't understand that it was something to suck so she kept pushing them out with her tongue. Finally, a friend showed me a trick. Use a paci that is plastic (my daughter only likes the Gerber Nuc but my friend said she used the Avent one with the big button in the center) and tap on the plastic center part when it's in the baby's mouth. Something about the tapping makes them want to suck. Try this at first right after a feeding, since he will still be in the mood to suck. It took a few weeks of tapping on the paci everytime I put it in her mouth, but now she uses it by herself and doesn't have to nurse all day. It makes going places a lot easier! Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,

My son also refused the pacifier, and we never could get him to take one of any kind or shape (even if there are days when I'd have LOVED for him to have one.) I just used the breast - but got him used to fall asleep without the breast once he was three months old or so - and a little finger. He would take my little finger always, his father's sometimes, and that gave some relief to my breasts. We needed to make sure to wash our hands before, but that was it. Not as freeing as the pacifier, but better than the breast all the time.

Maybe you could try this and see how it works. It obviously didn't hurt our son, who is now a very energetic, very lively and happy 6-year-old.

Hope this helps,
K.

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T.W.

answers from Buffalo on

I know it can be frustrating and tiring, but there is no such thing as a human pacifier...the pacifier was molded after Mother, not the other way around. Babies are supposed to suckle at the breast and pacify on us...its the way the relationship was designed. Its what keeps our milk going, the extra stimulation we need, and the comfort baby needs from us. Pacifiers were designed to replace Mom if she isnt available...if she's available, its best to let him pacify and get the stimulation to make the milk he needs. Your baby knows what hes doing! I can also tell you that if you plan on using breastfeeding as birth control, you cannot introduce a pacifier and it would be a good idea to get rid of the bottle for now as well. That being said, even I, who didnt let my baby have anything to suckle but me (I was intent on making breastfeeding our primary birth control) there were times when enough was enough. I would have someone hold him (Dad, MIL) and bounce and rock him with a paci while I showered, ate, etc... But if he wanted the breast back after, I snuggled back down in my chair with him. It only lasts a brief time. Growth spurts happen around the 6 week mark too, so perhaps he's just gearing up your supply for it. Its best to let him nurse or pacify on you as he feels he needs to so as not to interrupt the signals your body needs to up the production. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from New York on

my daughter is 8 months old and took a pacifier for only a week when she was about 4 months, and that was it. she hates them, and i have tried them all. my sisters BF baby loves them from day one. i think babies are all different so one may love thier binky, and others wont touch it. he may find his own thumb when he gets a little older. also, he might change in a month or 2 so you could keep trying. dont worry to much as the colick should soon be over.

some babies take forever to feed, my sisters baby eats like 45 minutes to an hour every time. just keep track of how he eats, if he is swallowing during these times, ect. if he is swallowing, he is acualyy eating not just sucking on you. he also is going thru lots of growth spurts. good luck

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T.D.

answers from New York on

My third daughter was like this. She just didn't use the pacifier. She also used me as the human pacifier. Is he gaining enough weight? My daughter would nurse for about an hour and a half, then sleep for about 4-5 hours. This was right out of the hospital. What a dream?, right? Well she was burning more calories nursing than I was able to produce. I found these Ice/Heat pads by Gerber (I don't know if they make them anymore), but they helped the tenderness of the breast. He is still young, you can just let him not use your breast. I know breastfeeding is great, because you can feed at will, but I would try to schedule it more, and TRY to keep him occupied if he isn't hungry. It may take a good week to put him on the schedule of your breast, and it is soooooo easy to cave, but you have to be strong. Once your breasts recover, you can comfort him before bed, or when he gets a boo-boo. Good luck.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

My daughter wouldn't take a pacifier either, in fact we had to hold it in her mouth until she fell off to sleep for the first couple of months. But at around 12 weeks, she found her thumb. You can try and guide your baby's thumb to his mouth and see if he likes it better. Fingers are closer in feel to the breast, that could be why he doesn't want the pacifier.

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S.S.

answers from Glens Falls on

I recently read about "pacifier training". Basically you put the paci in his mouth and then slowly start to pull it out. He will instinctively start sucking to keep it in, like when he's dozing off and you try to remove the bottle or breast. If you keep at that for about a week he should adapt to it. I've also read that breastfed babies prefer rounded pacifiers as opposed to the orthodontic ones.

I'm sorry I can't if say that actually works, my son loved his paci from birth. I didn't want to give him one but after hours of sleeping with my arm over his bassinet with my pinky in his mouth I broke down! He did like the rounded ones better though he was not breast-fed.

Good luck!!

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D.N.

answers from New York on

Hi C.!

Welcome to New York! WHat type of pacifier are you using? I used the Soothie brand. It is most like mother's nipple. try putting it in your bra for a while to get your scent on it. I hope this helps.

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J.L.

answers from Rochester on

It may be the pacifier....Try a couple of different ones. I breastfeed also and the only one my 41/2 week old will take is the one that we got from the hospital. My husband and I actually went to the hospital store and got some more. I can even sometimes trick Will(my son) into taking that to hold him off for about a half hour to 45 minutes before feedings if I hold it to my breast. I have heard from other moms that babies are very finiky when it comes to pacifiers. Sometimes I will have to hold it it his mouth til he gets a constant sucking down. Once he does though I thank heaven that it is that and not my breasts anymore!!!! Good luck

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A.G.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,

I'm so sorry to hear you're having such difficulty! I feel your pain with the sore nipples. We had a major latching issue and it made nursing a trying experience to say the least. All I can say is stick with it and I promise it does and WILL get better.

So, on to your question... We did the same thing with breastfeeding and didn't introduce the pacifier until she was 2 weeks because she was rooting around looking for mommy to be a human pacifier and my nipples just couldn't handle it.

The only pacifier my daughter would take then and still today is the MAM silicone orthodontic pacifiers. They are great and you can find them at Babies R Us or Target. The thing I like about them, too, is that they don't take up her entire face, they are smaller on the outside.

Best of Luck to you!
A.

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C.T.

answers from New York on

Honestly, you are better off without it. Taking it away is more painful then dealing with the colicky baby. I know it does not seem like it now, but trust me...

For the colickiness, try mylacon, hot water bottles on the tummy, a warm bath, massage, rotating baby's legs like you are exercising the hips and so on.

Try to get the baby onto a bottle from Daddy. You may find pumping more gentle so that you can alternate your feedings. Also, a warm shower for you may help stretch the nipple area prior to feeding.

Good luck.
~C.

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T.B.

answers from New York on

i make my suggestion without criticism.... we did not give our 2 boys (5 months and 3 yearsold respectvely) the pacifier. but it works for babies and that is fine. like you, i am into breast feeding. if he is resisting the paci, it could be a blessing. have you seen older kids whose parents are going through hell trying to take it away from them?

i would suggest that you give him pumped breast milk during the day in addition to nursing him. i think they hang out at the breast because it is comfortable, it is snuggley, it is safe, and also becasue they want more food. so maybe, just maybe he may need a little more. so giving him the bottle at least once a day in addition to the other bottle you give him will give your poor breats a break. you will also`know how much he is able to take in (4 ozs. or less) per feeding.

first time parenting is trial and error. by second baby you'll be n a better place. but know that you are doing great and we learn with each new day. most especially, our babaies know that they are loved and cared for. you are dong fine and it will all work out.

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