The Hot Sauce Mom

My mother allowed my stepfather to deny me food when I was 5 and 6 because I refused to eat what was served at dinner. He was a Jordanian, and would make things like lamb kidneys and liver. Good luck trying to get a 5 year old to eat that. The same thing would be given over and over until I'd give in. Sometimes it would last for 3-4 days. Once I fainted in the hallway when I got up in the middle of the night to try to sneak food from the kitchen. People can be quite mean to the children in their care, and parents less than protective. He was bad to her too, but that's no excuse. I hope experiencing the heartbreak of not being protected by my mother will give me strength that, no matter how hard life can be, to do everything in my power to protect my own child and give him a good foundation in life. It's sad to read some of the harsh punishments others have listed here too. Can't believe that crazy woman did that, taped it, and sent it in to Dr. Phil. What a nut.

I didn't see that one. My worst punishment that I received? I can't even remember, but I do remember having to get a switch off the tree, so I could get the spanking!! When I was a teen, worst punishment was not getting to talk on the phone!! You reminded me of something - when my youngest boy was probably 5 or 6, he said something that was bad, can't even remember it now, but I put soap in his mouth. It was liquid hand soap, sitting right next to the bottle of blue Dawn dishwashing liquid. My son started to cry, and told me "how come I didn't get the blue soap?" We still laugh about that one.

The worst punishment I ever got was when I saw my parents' disappointment in me. That's it, and that was enough.

My family, back to my grandparents, never spanked or anything worse. I don't either, and I've never even come close to having the need to with my three kids.

I haven't seen what you are talking about, but I can say that the worst punishment I ever witnessed was my stepfather's idea of potty training my younger sister. She was about three at the time (a little old for potty training in the early seventies but still!) he spread a piece of her own poop on her nose and made her sit on the potty sniffing it for a while. It was awful. He considered himself a good Christian, and believed he was "training" her by teaching her how to be disgusted by her own filth.
This was the same man who "trained" me how to be a good wife and please her husband :(
Is it any wonder I have rejected everything I was taught as a child and started from square one?!

Probably the disappointment in their voice and face. Seriously. I was spanked some-not abused, but spanked, alongside my brothers, or whoever was guilty of "the crime", lol. I never had to eat soap or wash my mouth with it that I recall. I think my brother might have, or maybe I tried it myself once, really not sure on that one. But all of the things I was punished with were over in a matter of moments. The knowledge that I had severely disappointed them by my actions was always the worst part of any punishment no matter what it was. And I didn't get that many punishments... maybe grounded a few times. Which always sucked. But hey... I did (or didn't do) whatever it was that "earned" it...
I have never been a soap/hot sauce kinda parent though. I was made to try food I didn't like as a child and not allowed to get up from the table until I did. That was punishment to me, and probably the worst.. but it wasn't a punishment per se. Time out at the table??

I DID however see the clip (on O'Reilly) and they made mention of her defense that she had nothing else to try as the child suffers from attachment disorder or something, b/c he was in an orphanage in Russia (?) and basically had developed no human attachments and so wouldn't and didn't respond to normal stimulii.
I still think what she did was reprehensible. But it is a real thing that she is trying to deal with. And it is very sad and frustrating. I have heard stories (associates of hubby's from work) of overseas adoptions where they truly didn't know what they were getting into with the children, because the kids never bonded emotionally with anyone during their orphanage time. The same sort of thing. They were at the point of trying to return the child it was so bad (and it was an older child)... It's very sad.

I saw that on Dr. Phil. The audience was in tears. As was I. It wasn't just like a few drops of hot sauce. She POURED it in his mouth. The kid was shaking and crying even before the punishment. Poor little boy. I hardly think treatment for attachment disorder is burning the sh*t out his tongue and freezing him in a cold shower. I saw her follow up on Dr. Phil and at least she has stopped doing those things and I think they are in counseling. I hope they are. It was sad.

Well I was whipped with a belt and knocked on the floor and slapped across the face. My father did those things. My mother rarely ever laid a hand on me. But one time when I was a kid my mother took a stick and whacked me across the stomach. I never knew why she did it and she laughed and it left a red welt. She didn't offer any reason for doing it. That hurt me more than anything my dad ever dished out. She's really not that kind of person and she wasn't drinking or anything like that. I wasn't misbehaving.

My father was a big strong disciplinarian. He was also a boxer. He never once struck me. He could discipline just with his presence. My mother swatted me on the back of the legs, twice.

Actually, the worst punishment I ever received was 'The Great Soya Bean Incident of '78'. My mother served us soya beans, and not one of us would eat it. My parents made us sit at the table until we did. It was a mass revolt. My parents actually left the room after a while and we snuck the soya beans out of the window to the dog. He didn't want them either. This story is being passed down through our family now.

I can see that I was very lucky with my parents, and they were much better at gentle, firm disciplining than my husband and I.

Hi Queen-

It is funny you ask this as my older brother and I were just talking about my dad (deceased for a few years now). Anyway, I remember when I was 9 or 10 and my older brother was in HS. My dad was teaching at West Point at the time, and was 'uber' military. My brother was going to public HS during the peak of the vietnam war. Anyway, my father told jimmy to get a hair cut. Jimmy did not. The next day my father told jimmy that IF he did not have a haircut by the time he came home from work, that HE would cut it FOR him...Needless to say, jimmy did NOT get a hair cut...and my father CUT it...and badly. I don't think my father wanted to...but he had backed himself into a corner he could not see a way out of.

Their relationship went down hill over the years (jimmy was a 'spirited' child...(now a spirited adult) and was involved in drugs...flunked out of college etc...and their relationship was never fully repaired...

Anyway, it made SUCH an impression on me that it has coloured my parenting. I swore at that tender age that I would NEVER make a threat to a child of mine that I could/would not comfortably carry out.

I never had issues with my parent's parenting of me...but then I was the 'perfect little girl'...and REALLY was...compared to jimmy (and my younger brother).

Funny how that 'moment' remains frozen in my mind. In all honesty, I have yet to announce a consequence I am unwilling to carry out...and have been comfortable when I have had to meet out consequences...

Good question!
Michele/cat

I am all for her getting some help with the discipline but and I know there are better ways to discipline. I have never put any of my kids in a cold shower and I have never used hot sauce. I do remember, as a child, playing in mud puddles with all my uncles and siblings. We were all told to stay out of the mud and we were literally muddy from head to foot. It was caked in our hair and everything. We were all lined up and sprayed down. The water was freezing! I know this happened on more than one occasion. I have never thought this was abusive and I still don't. Those were the consequences for my actions. Now if you could hear my older children learn to ride a bike you would think someone was torturing them. They wanted to learn but they didn't ever want me to let go. After months of trying to run behind them I finally said no more. We took an afternoon and they learned to ride. Oh the crying and carrying on was crazy. None of them were hurt in any way. I just insisted that they do it. The production they put on sounded like I was ripping their limbs off. All of them have thanked me for not giving up on them and they all like riding bike.

I write this because we only saw a clip of how things went. I don't condone what she did, but I also think that what has happened has been blown out of proportion. The women was seeking to find ways to help with this child. It sounded like she really loves this child and wants to do what is best for him. I don't like how this has turned out. The adoptive mother has taken a lot of the blame when some of it should be placed on the system that caused the child to have the problems he has. He is very fortunate to be with someone who is trying to get help for him and herself. He could be still stuck in the orphanage that caused the antisocial behavior to begin with. I think this could have been handled better all the way around.

Thanks for opening up old wounds, Queen (just kidding).

I remember my dad spanking me with a belt in the closet. I took off my school uniform and he hit me with my slip on. I was so scared. To this day, my mind has blocked out the reason for the spanking. But, it was the last time I got hit with a belt.

I didn't see that video...

My dad's punishments were usually spanking, and standing on the wall... but he never took it too far.

BUT... for a while I lived with my grandma... I still remember getting beat once with my grandpa's leather strap (those old-fashioned ones that are used for sharpening razors) for bringing home an "F" in math...

My mom used to make us kneel on the rough brick fireplace if we did something wrong. Funny enough, none of us have a good relationship with her now...

My step-mom really didn't like me for some reason... I was literally the 'R.-headed stepchild'. She used to do things like make me soak in the bathtub with bleach in it, drag me down the hallway by my hair (I got rugburn really bad from that once...) Luckily, my dad divorced her when he found out how she was treating me.

Wire coat hanger ~ Mommy Dearest anyone?

The worst that I remember is my dad coming home drunk very late one night and seeing my grade card. I guess really poor grades in elementary schoool and he came up to my room yanked me out of bed and spanked me till i peed my pants, all over him and all over my bed. Then he said I had to sleep in it. I will never forget it. I had bad grades because I couldn't sleep because of his drunken rages. The man is still an A$$.

My sister and I used to get spanked with a belt, that was probably the worst. One day my mom spanked my sister with the belt and lost her grip, the buckle cut open the back of her leg pretty bad, not stitches bad, but enough that mom never used the belt again.

However, I think when my dad used to make us hold hands was the worst!

My mom would slap me for having a smart mouth, but that was nothing compared to the beatings and torture that my brother doled out on an almost daily basis.

We would get swatted when we were young. but I had older brothers and sisters and saw the punishment they got. I was not going to get that. None of us were beaten though my sister says it was worse than I thought. She would sneak out at night so got in a lot more trouble. I don;t remember getting sopa in my mouth but my mom did have a bar of Lava soap on the dining room table as a reminder to us. Seeing that big, huge gray bar of soap was enough I think.
As for the hot sauce mom, I have heard of parents putting hot sauce but only a drop to get their kids to listen or not lie or whatever their reasoning is. I have not seen this video and really don;t want to but I heard that she poured the sauce down his throat and then had him taking such a cold shower he was screaming. That right there is cruel.

Apparently, that child has some serious issues, an adopted sibling of mine had the same ones and I can tell you, desperate parents will try anything with that disorder. My parents did MUCH worse to my sibling, but that was 30 years ago when very little was known about the disorder and therapists actually told them to do some of these things. Tabasco sauce was a very common method when I was younger, but I she took it to the extreme, making him swish and hold it in there. Also, it's a repetitive tactic she uses that doesn't work

But now, we know so much better about positive discipline. She really needed to seek help earlier before she lost control and hit her breaking point. And not only that, she had so much anger. I do appluad her for going public for help and she has gotten some serious backlash. I watched the clip and was crying by the end of it, the cold shower is just awful. It is no wonder he is acting out...

As for my parents, they were very loving, but the punishments were harsh and cruel, especially with my sibling who had the disorder. My dad had chronic cancer and my mom had her own health and mental problems, so I don't totally blame them since they weren't in their right frame of mind.

I got spanked in a loving manner as a kid. Think of the supernanny method, but replace the time with a swat.
I watched the hot sauce mom and it was REVOLTING! It made me cry.

Last week another mom posted about his.. Check out or responses.

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/7917807192584093697

My parents were never big on corporal punishments, although I do remember getting spanked a few times. One time that stands out as particularly funny though was when I was in high school being sassy to my mom. She was at the top of the stairs and she was so frustrated she took off her shoe and hurled it down at me. Then we both just looked at each other like what the heck? it was pretty funny.

I haven't watched the video at all, nor do I know what triggered the woman's outburst towards the child (though, I do think there are times when my boy loses his temper and is screaming at me that a nice cold shower might cool him off a bit.......but pouring tabasco sauce? Not gonna happen. Though he did it to himself one time at a restaurant after repeated warnings that doing so wasn't going to feel good and he just didn't believe us. He never did it again!).

My parents were definitely not abusive, so that was never really an issue in my house growing up. That being said, one of the worst things I ever got was getting dragged up the stairs by my hair because my brother and I were fighting about who got to sit on the couch (stupid, I know) and I was being extremely rude and then turned insolent and disrespectful to my parents and my dad tried to grab me to get me off the couch, but I dodged and he got a handful of my long hair instead and once he had me, he wasn't letting go--not really realizing the emotional damage that would cause for years! (and only now, as an adult, do I realize that I was the one who shouldn't have dodged out of the way. Could have all been prevented.)

The other thing was that as a child, the worst of the worst of the worst offenses got "the belt" on the butt...one of my dad's old belts. Well, my mom had me all lined up (I was not the nicest child, to say the least) and she had a bad grip on the belt and the buckle caught my backside instead. She ended up in tears more than me! I knew it was an accident and I also knew that whatever I had done to get the belt in the first place absolutely deserved it, since my mom was not one to dole out punishment liberally.

My Dad's voice was just enough to scare the you know what out of ya!