Telephone

My parents didn't allow me to talk to boys on the phone until I was in high school and I could only talk on the phone 30 minutes at a time after homework, not during dinner and until 8pm. Once my brothers were old enough to talk on the phone, my parents couldn't take it anymore so they got a second line for the kids. There was a major rule: if your brother/sister asks to use the phone and you have been on it at least 30 minutes, its time to get off and give the phone to your sibling. As well as not during dinner, homework, etc. As for talking to boys... now that I have a daughter and am grown I see my parents point. But I think also that if they have nothing to hide, you should be able to be near by to monitor until you feel you can trust your child. Best of luck to you!

Allow your 12 yr old to have phone calls from boys. Just supervise the phone calls. am going through this but with a boy. It's too much stress. I just hope its not my son calling your daughter. haha

I dont think an 8 yr old has any business on the phone more than 15 minutes.

I also agree that the homework and chores should be sone first.

my daughter is 12 as well - I let her take calls, make calls etc unti 9:00 at nite. after that everything is turned off. She seems okay with that - homework, chores etc comes first though

Regardless of age, I think phone time should be relevant to their other activities and responsibilities. For example, if you have a regular time set aside for home work, there shouldn't be any phone calls during that time unless their work is done. After that, they can use the extra time however they want. If there are chores that need to be done by a certain time, the kids should be encouraged to budget their time accordingly. Sure, you can take a phone call at 6, as long as the dishwasher is loaded by 6:30. If they're falling down on the job or with school work, the phone is the first thing to go -- take it away or cut back the time (which might be worse, especially for an older child. Only 15 min of phone time could be more torture than no phone at all.) until 1 or 2 report cards, or teacher reports show improvement. I would certainly forbid phone use during family times. I know it kills teenagers to let a phone ring until voicemail picks it up, but no one should be on the phone at dinner time or after a certain time in the evenings. As far as boys calling....I'm thinking phone calls are the safest interaction they can have with a girl! But phone rules should be the same -- as long as your responsibilities are taken care of, you can use your free time as you please.

I think 30 minutes each is more than enough time for those ages. I can't imagine an 8 year old needing more than that. My 7 yr old thinks it's neat to call her friends, but they barely chat more than a few minutes.
I have a 12 yr old son. He had girls calling him last year in 5th grade! Now, I do allow him to call girls, but I explained phone etiquitte to him in detail. He also has to stay within earshot of me, and is not allowed more than 10-15 minutes at a time.
Most importantly, I would want to know exactly who the boys are that are calling. Are they her age? Classmates? Do you know their parents? Just set some guidlelines, and stick to them. Good luck. I know this is a hard age.

Yes, S., I think 30 minutes for any child on the phone is enough. Setting limits is very important, especially with teens, and preteens. The sooner the better. Trust me, I have 19, 15, & 13 year olds. I wish I would've taken my own advice. Once you give in, then your inconsistent and your children learn that and begin to take advantage of you and the situation at hand. As far as the taking phone calls from boys, I don't see anything wrong with that, as long as she and maybe even you know them "from school". This gives her the "superior" feeling she needs being the oldest. Hope this helps. C.