Son Made a mistake...why Do I Feel So Bad?

Honey, my husband was a dispatcher. Usually they just get a laugh out of it. If it was just an accident. The ones they get mad at are repeaters. One little boy called so many times the officers when over there and had a SIT DOWN. I don't think he did it again.

Oh that one is easy because it is 911, you feel like you broke the law. Its the authorities, you cried wolf. I think everyone feels that way and I think nearly everyone has had a kid do this.

My older daughter did that when she was six at home, she thought if she hung up quick enough it wouldn't go through. Apparently if you do it at home they send the cops anyway. Lord she never joked like that again. When I saw who was at the door I said oh, its for you, she ran. Okay I joke a bit too.

I dialed 911 when I was younger too, not really understanding what it was and why it was such a big deal. I did get a talk from my mother after they called back, like you said. Just sit him down and talk to him about how important it is to only use that number for emergencies and how it is a really big deal. He will really understand that now!

The one thing that I would add ....

When things have calmed down, you might want to have a talk with your son to assure him that it is okay to call 911 if there ever is a true emergency. You wouldn't want him remembering the upset and embarrassment and hesitate to make that call.

Emergencies are tense situations. The one time our family needed to call 911, I -- as an adult -- could not bring myself to do it. I called a nearby friend instead and it was he who told me I needed to call 911.

About once a year we cover emegencies with our 8-year-old Cub Scouts. We talk about what kind of situations would be a good time to call 911, and what will happen if they do ever need to call 911 -- What the 911 operator might say, the kinds of questions they might be asked, that they will probably be told to stay on the phone and keep talking until help comes. We tell them that if they are not sure, to call 911 and the 911 operator will know whether to send help now or help them know who else to call. (I should have followed that advice myself - at least it turned out fine and the delay was not to critical.)

We have them prepare a list of emergency numbers to put by their phone: Mom's work, Dad's work, a nearby relative or trusted neighbor. Sometimes we get into discussing that there is another number to call the police in non-emergencies...

We also assure them that it is not likely that they will have to call 911, and if they do, there is likely to be an adult present to call instead, but we just want them to know what to do.

In your son's favor, should he ever need to make that call, he now knows he won't need money to do so!

You feel bad because you really care about your son and his behavior is very important to you - so, in a way, its GREAT that you feel bad.

However, its over and no one was hurt. He learned a lesson and also learned that he has a mother that cares about him and wants him to make good choices.

No reason to feel bad anymore. Its over.

Well, I don't know how old your son is, but it happens all the time.... that is why when police come and talk at schools and such they bring it up why calling 911 is for emergencies. My friend was a 911 dispatcher and said she got these kinds of calls daily. So, just calm down and let it go.

Relax. It does happen because kids don't really think about the consequences of their actions.

It happened to me in my own home once while I was napping. Imagine my surprise when the police were at my door banging to get in. Apparently one of my kids called them on a sibling, the sibling hung up the phone on the 911 dispatcher while two other kids were screaming in the background. It must of sounded horrible. I was in my room on the third floor while this was taking place on the 1st floor. I was awakened by one of the other kids and got right up in time to hear the police banging on my front door.

Oh the joy of having six kids 9 and under in your house.

Relax, be easy on yourself. You are not the guilty party and hopefully nothing like this will happen again, regretfully other things will but it is part of the growing process. The good news is that in time it will become a great story to tell your grandkids, his future girlfriends, his class or teammates. In my house we call them money stories (stories the kids will pay you money not to tell).

Really its okay to just relax.

I think your feelings make sense! You probalby feel that way because you know the importance of 911 and the idea that your son would play around with that (innocently) is an awful idea and reality. I don't know if I can explain it really, but it does make sense to me;-)

When my sister was about 3 years old, my mom and dad had a talk with her about 911. They told her that if anyone tried to make her do something she didn't want to do, she should call 911. I'm sure they were more specific with her, but the above is what she retained. A few days later, my parents went out for the night and left us with a babysitter. The babysitter made my sister go to bed at the specified hour. She didn't want to go to bed. So, she snuck into my parent's room and called 911 and hung up when they answered. Luckily, the babysitter answered when they called back and explained the situation. Since it was 20+ years ago, they took her word for it and didn't send anyone out. We still tease her about this!

Don't stress too much. At 15 months my daughter got hold of the cordless phone and dialed 911. I called back the non-emergency number and they said they had to come if there was a 911 call (local police are literally around the block, less than 2 blocks from us). So they got to meet the little troublemaker but it was no big deal. I think it is always stressful when your kid makes a mistake that leaves you as well as them embarassed. I doubt he will ever do it again.

Oh that is going to be a good one to retell years from now. Annoying as it is, and serious, you handle it right. Glad you are feeling better. Beside they will new ways to question your sanity. My son is now 12 and found a new way to bust my gut and make wonder what I did wrong. He has been answering sales calls prentending to be "Peggy" from the Discovery Card commercials.

You shouldn't feel bad. You handled the situation properly and taught your son a valuable lesson in the process.

It reminds me of a story that happened to my girls. They were home alone one summer afternoon. I believe my oldest was 14 or so and she had a friend over. Apparently they were goofing off and being stupid. For whatever reason, my oldest threatened to call 911, picked up the phone and dialed 91 and then hung up. Lo and behold about 3 minutes later a patrolman showed up at the door. After he learned what happened, he gave the girls a lecture and explained how 911 worked and that they should never even partially dial it. My daughter was horrified and embarassed and called me to confess the mishap.

Don't worry about it so much. This happens more than you know. As long as your son understands and doesn't do it again, all is well. I would only worry if it becomes a habit.

My daughter who was 3 picked up an old cell phone of mine that still had the battery in it. No longer in service and I naively thought it was all right for her to play with. One day she is carrying it with her holding it up to her ear talking away....I leaned over to play with her and to my shock I hear some lady ask, "How old are you?"......I was flabbergasted and in my panic I just hung it up and took the battery out. I regret not getting on there and explaining the mistake to the dispatcher but I panicked. Felt really horrible. Learned an important lesson there just like you and your son did. I will tell you now, looking back it's kind of funny but at the time, not so.

I think your son learned an important lesson here and it doesn't sound like he will be doing it again so no worries!

It happens. As long as he understands NOW that 9-1-1 works without money on a pay phone. You'll laugh about this someday--I promise!

Oh Mama-

The pukeys will pass. I get it. Sometimes my toddler son says something to someone - like: go away, I don't like you" and I feel terrible! Even tho he doesn't totally get it yet the impact of that statement, I feel like a bad mom and on top of that bad that someones feelings might be hurt.

I think it's just the ongoing process of mama guilt my association-when are kids aren't portrayed in their 'best' light or how we know them to be we assume we caused it. But it's more important how you handled it, rather then what he did.

Stop worrying about it. Several years ago, a colleague of mine was pounding out sales calls and instead of dialing area code 919 he dialed 911 by mistake - and hung up just like your son did! Inbound calls were routed to me, so I was pretty surprised to get the call-back from emergency services asking if someone needed help in our building.

No harm was done, and he learned his lesson. In fact, he created a learning experience for ALL the kids there. Let it go.

I did that when I was 5 or 6. We had just moved to a new house so our phone was not connected. The phone was plugged in though. We were playing around and wrestling with my dad. I ran over to the phone dialed 911 and before I heard anyone I said "my daddy just beat me up and he is taking on my brother." I know YIKES!! The cops were there with in minutes. I was so scared. My parents spoke to the police and then sent me outside and the cop spoke to me. I never dialed 911 unless it was an emergency! I am now 26 and Ironically I married a cop. lol He said they get those calls all the time! As long as he knows it is for emergencies I would not sweat it!

Oh, i completely understand!!! When my kiddos make a mistake or something embarrases them, I feel awful!!! Completely embarrassed for them and want to take the pain away. I think you handled the situation perfectly---try to let it go....

M

My brother in law is a cop. Once during Thanksgiving dinner his 8 year old son decided to call 9-1-1 for no reason other than just to do it. He hung up and when 9-1-1 called back my frantic SIL explained that he just dialed it as a prank. They told her that it was county policy to come to the home to make sure nothing was going on, and sure enough, in front of the entire family, 2 troopers (co-workers) showed up at the door. Boy were they upset and did he learn his lesson quickly. My 2 year old happened to dial 9-1-1 randomly once and they called me right back. Thankfully they didn't come to the house. It happens. Go easy on yourself.

It was an honest mistake - a joke gone too far.
Where I use to work we made regular calls to the UK and the sequence to dial to an outside line then the international code was very close to 9 1 1.
We had so many mistakes the local authorities were threatening to start fineing us.
It became vital to have speed dials set up with the correct dialing sequence.

Don't feel bad. He is not the first person that has ever done this. I'm sure they deal with several calls like this every day. We all make mistakes, that is how we learn. The important thing is that you son learned from his mistake, and you handled it just the way you should have.

No don't feel bad.
Once when I had to take my mom to the doctor, I had to take my boys with me. There was a pay phone in the waiting area. The younger son didn't believe the older one that the 911 call would go though.
One nurse there tried to make us feel really bad about it. The rest of the staff really played it down and said not to worry, no harm done. But my son sure learned his lesson.
When I taught him about 911, I never thought to tell him about pay phones since they are rare.

:)

Heck, I felt bad when I accidentally called 9-1-1 one time... I was so embarassed!

My M.'s area code was 913.... so I was trying to hit 1-9-1-3 and the 1 "double punched" and I hit 911..... the 911 operator came on and I was very embarassed to have done that..... basically she asked a couple of questions, I reassured her I was trying to make a long-distance call and it double-clicked on the one, she asked again if someone needed to come out there....

Anyway, all was ok...... you made it very clear to your son that calling 911 ISN'T a joke... I don't think he will EVER try that again!

Also, pay phones are designed that emergency calls go through without money.. for obvious safety reasons. There was no real reason your son would have known that... he was just "playing around", without realizing the ramifications... now he knows how serious that is.

It looks like you are doing a real good job with your son.... relax! It was just a silly mistake. I'm sure the dispatchers hear that all the time.

When my son was 6 we had my daughters birthday party and a skating rink. My daughter and her friends were chasing him . He picked up the pay phone and called 911 and told the dispatcher that his sister was trying to attack him. Once my husband realized what he did he talked to the dispatcher and they asked if we wanted to have an officer come out to talk to him. He was super embarrassed as were we but lesson learned.

He learned his lesson.
911 is nothing to joke around about. It's for emergencies when there is danger. And, the main thing for kids to understand is that kids goofing off might tie up the lines for someone who truly needs it, like being in a car accident or their house being on fire.
As long as he understands that, all should be forgiven and you can quit being sick to your stomach.
When my son was a toddler, my phone rang one day and I answered it. It was the local police department checking on us. When my back was turned, apparently, my son had picked up the phone on the night stand in my bedroom while I was getting dressed and pushed the pre-programmed emergency button for 911 then hung up.
I was embarrassed and apologetic and I moved my phone after that.

Things like this happen. Your son isn't the first kid to make such a mistake.
Let it go now.

I saw on TV, and they had the actual voice recording, where a grown woman called 911 because they didn't put cheese on her burger (or they gave her the wrong thing all together) when she went through a drive through. Apparently, in her mind, that was a serious emergency.
Now THAT'S bad!

Best wishes.