Smart Mouth 10 Year Old

You have to let her know that you are her mother not her friend. If you start taking from her away things that she like or not letting her do things she likes and see how that works. And try to do more mother and daughter time if you don't already.

Your life is mirror mine I am also 28 with a 10 year old daughter and a 4 year old son and my husband and I have been married for 6 years. I am also from New Orleans as well. My advice to you is you have to be consistent with your discipline. Take things away from her and restrict her to the house if you have to but she needs to know who is in charge. I have been blessed that my daughter does not have a smart mouth I can also attribute it to starting young with her discipline and nipping her comments in the bud when she attempted to make them now she knows I won't stand for it.

B., I am not an expert but I have raised two daughters and was a substitute teacher in their middle and high school. To be honest these are the beginning of some very hard years. I found when I worked at the middle school these were the worse kids when it came to being mouthy and disrespectful. Most of this is because they are trying to find themselves. Their in this point of their lives where they just don't know where or how to "fit in". Some girls esp those that don't make the perfect grades, have the perfect look are fighting a constant battle to fit in. To me the kids that did the best were thoese that had other activities in school such as band, sports or even yearbook. These kids found their place where they could be themselves and make friends within those groups. My oldest daughter went through this but when she signed up for basketball and realized she was good at it alot of the problems stopped. My yougest was always in band and guard, it gave her the self esteem she needed and to be honest other than the occasional rolling of the eyes she never had much of these problems. The other advice I will give you is you need to sit her down and have an ADULT conversation with her, that means not losing your temper, staying as calm as possible because trust me she will fight you on this, she does not want to hear what you are going to say. Explain to her you understand what she is going through. Keep in mind that school is even harder than it was when you were there, kids are more stressed than ever. Also tell her you want her to talk to you about the way she feels but at the same time explain to her that even though you will be there for her and open to listen (even to things you may not want to hear) that you will not allow her to be disrespectful to you, her other elders or her teachers and if she continues there will be dyer consequences (spelling??? YIKES!)such as loosing priveledges, going to friends, playing any video games, tv, phone (oh the phone that's a big one esp for girls) or other things she may enjoy will be gone. You as a mom can be a friend to her with an ear to listen to but you have a much harder job, you have to be a mom which means setting the limits (that we all hate to do)and most of all following through with those limits. Get a handle on it now before things get worse because I have seen so many good kids headed the wrong way and when parents don't get a handle on it, it just gets worse. Also be supportive, if she is in extra activities GO to them perticipate. I don't know if you work outside the home, I have other than my 2 years as a sub. I know it can be hard to be there but it is harder not to be. Being a mom as you know can be the hardest job of all but when your kids are grown you will look back on these days and actually miss them. You know the saying they grow up so fast it's true they do and the decisions you make today will be with you and most of all her the rest of your lives. Good luck and let me hear from you.

Honey,I think its in the water because my 10 year old daughter does the same thing.Her rooms stays a mess too and she is always fighting with her little brother too.I think its pretty normal though.Not sure,,If you find something that works ,,let me know,but I do think I am gonna start grounding her or something.

That is what my mother did to me. She said if I couldn't clesn up my mouth she'd do it for me.

Husband needs to take a stand for your side and let daughter know that she is no longer going to talk to you disrespectfully. Maybe he should wash out her mouth to prove his point and to let her know he & you are a team and she cannot work you & him to get what she wants.

try secretly taping her. get a small compact tape recorder position it where conversations happen. you can get 60 and 90 minute mini tapes. t did this when my child (girl) was 9. we went out one saturday afternoon for a "girl's luncheon/girl and mother's day out" then when things were going smoothly i popped out the tape player and sat it on the table, i asked her if she love me, she stated of course she did, (she kept staring at the tape recorder), then i asked her if she respected me, again same response, she began to get a little squirmy in her chair. then i told her i wanted her to listen to something i had found and thought she might like it. i played the tape for her, we sat there the entire lenghth of the tape 90min., her eyes welled up and she kept looking around as everyone was looking at us. today my beautiful baby girl is 18 years old and has never spoken to me like that again. good luck, mt

Hey B.,
Everytime my girls would argue with me, they lost their privileges and had extra chores to do so they wouldn't get bored. The hardest part about that is you have to stick to your guns. You have to show her that you're more stubborn than she is!! Good luck!
N.

My older brother who has twin 10-year-old girls recently told me they love 'Love and Logic'. I found the website and it's really good. They teach you how to use discipline that kind of turns everything back around on the kid and leaves you with what you want. I love it so give it a try!

A.

Welcome to having a daughter. My stepdaughter whom I have raised for 6 yrs. She was like that as well. I had many talks w/ my frineds who are real moms. They told me that It wasn't because I was a step mom. That all children go through it. You just have to stand your grown and get the respect that you deserve as a mother. Make sure that the father is behide you on what you agree on and not let them tell her any differnt. That is harder on the parents when trying to raise a mouthy child. As they get older it slowly gets better.
They see their freinds act that way and seem to think that it is okay at home. WRONG!

Dear B....I have learned that when little one's speak..they repeat anything that is heard and sometimes its not at home but on the streets...it's an attention device like a tic they pick up for the seperation they feel, also, its an act of turbulance expressed with words, this is how they give feed back of their thoughts, or wants, they can not translate...this may get your attention...is she a sharp shooter of words or of anger with words to stand her grounds with you or authority...I would be glad to help! I have raised four, and they were always bringing something that sounded ugly to our door..but I always caught it sometime since everything was mimiced by the youngest of 4 yrs. Also, a father's tone of voice can alleviate this as well, but I did learn my husband did not even like raising his to my daughter, even in gruffness..she was to precious in his eyes, and did not want to bruise her....Apache