7 Year Old Girl Mouthy. Normal?

Updated on July 31, 2010
J.M. asks from Harrisburg, PA
13 answers

My 7 year old daughter has gotten very mouthy. The ther day I told her she couldnt do something and she told me she would do what she wants. She always has a cocky anwser for everything. i tell her all the time its your mouth that gets you in trouble. Is it normal for this to start at such a young age?

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

It is not normal. I would not respond to her when she talks like that. You do have to stop it now before she becomes a teen...yikes!

2 moms found this helpful

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M.F.

answers from Sioux Falls on

I have never let my children mouth back to me, no matter what their age was. Never give in when they mouth back or use a "tone". Always have consequences for it. It will pay off in the end.
I am horrified by how some of my freinds' kids speak to them. Mine do not to me. I have never let them get away with it. Consequences are immediate. A trip doesn't get made, friend does not come over, toy gets taken away, etc. No negotiating, and immediate consequences without my getting angry.
I quietly say, "You do not speak to me like that. This is your only warning. This stops now, or we will be leaving immediately." Or you will lose this, or whatever the situation warrants.. Follow through EVERY time. She will learn.
Last year when my daughter was 7, I took her to the store to buy her some diving sticks as a treat. She proceeded to tell me she wanted goggles and fins. I told her we were picking out diving sticks. She raised her voice to me and said she did not WANT diving sticks without a mask and fins, and proceeded to throw a fit. I told her to stop now. She was ruining what I wanted to be a nice treat for her. If she did not stop the fit, we would get nothing, and leave. She closed her mouth. And said she would wait by the car. the manager was quite impressed.
Just be consistent. It will pay off in the end!

6 moms found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Children will always push the limits of what they can do. It's our job to guide them thru that.

My response to her would have been "At 7 you don't get to always choose to do what you want. You get to choose sometimes. And if you respond to me like that again you will (be grounded, lose x privilege, etc-whatever your punishment for her would be)." I would start with something simple like losing tv (if she watches tv) then move up the ladder if the behavior continues.

I would then have a short & simple discussion with her about respect and appropriate answers.

As exhausting as it might be you have to follow thru every time.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Mom,
You should curb this smart mouth today, it may have been cute when she was younger but is disrespectful at this age. You need and Dad need to sit down with your daughter and tell her that when Mom or Dad ask her to do something it is rude for her to talk back to either of you or grown ups in general. Tell her you are the parents and let her know she needs to listen do things now when you ask, not on her own time. If this disrespectful talk has been going on for a while it might take some time for her to unlearn the behavior but address it firmly each time it happens. I would expect the behavior to diminish w/in 1-2 weeks, if not there needs to be consequences that are meaningful to her. I would take away privleges that your daughter enjoys like TV, movies, computer time, play dates, trips to do something fun etc. if she continues to be this way. Hope this helps. Good luck Mom.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

Are you kidding? If she waiting until age 7 to start, you lucked out! LOL

This is totally normal. The thing is, you MUST be hard nosed about this and do NOT allow this from her now. If she is talking this way at age 7, how will she be by the age of 10? 12? 16?

I'm different, but if my words do not work, and any other punishments do not work, when my child decide to have a cocky mouth, and they KNOW BETTER, they get my hand across their mouth. I did this to my 15 year old son just a few days ago. I RARELY have to do this with him, but when I do, I get his attention and he will not do it again for a VERY LONG TIME. Later when we talk about it, he knows what he did wrong and he knows that he deserved that from me, and he apologizes. But their hormones get the better of them and they need to be jacked up. I know there are many out there that think it's wrong but if more parents jacked their kids up more often we'd have better behaved kids walking the streets today. It has to be done with purpose, last resort, and without malice.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
events and chat within 2 hour radius

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

It is normal for them to try it, but it is then normal for parents to then nip it in the bud.

You need to set the tone with your child. The conversation when you told her, no, she could not do something and then she answered back she would do what she wants, would lead to ," no, and now that you talked back to me you also will go to your room (or wherever you send her) and not come out till I tell you that you can."

Later have a conversation that includes. "When I tell you to do something you need to do it." " If you do not feel you can do it, you may use a polite voice to explain why you feel that you can not."
Keep in mind. If you told her to pick up her clothes off of the floor and she says, I can't right now I am busy. You can then respond. ""Ok, but, if I pick them up they are going in the trash." And then put them in a trash bag and donate them. Do NOT replace them.

She will/cannot not pick up the DVD's that she and her friends have left all over the place.. Take them away and do not replace them and the next time she asks if friends can come over or can she go to someone elses home, the answer will be no. Remind her why.. That she was not willing to clean up the DVD's.

She makes a mess in the kitchen and will not clean it up? She will not be allowed a treat like a trip to the movies, going swimming whatever her activity is. Remind her about the mess that SHE made and did not clean up.

All of this takes effort and YOU will have to figure out a way to remember all of these incidents. You could write them down on a calendar and refer to them when needed.. But I am going to guess, it will not take her long to realize, she has messed with the wrong mama..

1 mom found this helpful
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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Some girls are mouthy at 7, some are not. If she gets cocky, just get cocky right back with a nice consequence. Laurie A. has some good ideas.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.G.

answers from York on

It seems to me that it is normal, but like all bad behavior, there must be a consequence. My daughter just turned 7 and has had an "attitude" since she was around 4. In my opinion, it is my job as her mother to teach her what she can and can not do - or say. When she gets mouthy I try to come up with consequences that are directly related to the offense. For example: My daughter has a math game that she is to play in the car on the trip to and from Summer Day Camp. On the way home one night I noticed that she was getting most of the problems wrong, so I told her that if she wasn't trying to get them right she would have to do math at home instead of watching TV - she said (with an attitude) but I'm tired and my arm is tired too. Since I knew it was an excuse and she was just being disobedient and mouthy I told her that he mouth just got her in trouble and as soon as she was done eating dinner she was going straight to bed. I also did not put her to bed as part of the punishment (which was likely the most upsetting part of the punishment to her). Since then she hasn't tried to use the "I can't because I'm tired" excuse!

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

normal yes, tolerable NO.........make a list of stuff she likes & hang it on the fridge so she sees the items she will be losing EACH time she gets mouthy

1 mom found this helpful
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J.O.

answers from Chicago on

Ummm... yes sometimes unfortunately. I call it the snotty cheerleader attitude which I have had to squash out of one daughter and working on it with another. I use the I will not tolerate that mouth and cut off that kind of talking immediately and have put hot sauce the tongue for the nasty talking, tlaking back and plain just not being respectful. Good Luck
J.

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L.C.

answers from Allentown on

My niece's daughter also became very mouthy at this age. We call it "rude", and disrespect in our family is NOT tolerated. My niece took a stand and punished her by not letting her go to a party for her rudeness. Don't put up with it, give her a consequence. It will only get worse as she gets older.

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, J.:

No child needs to get by with being mouthy (nor adults).

When she mouths off, sit down with her and ask her these questions:
1. What happened?
2. What were you thinking of at the time?
3. What have you thought about since?
4. Who has been affected by what you have done? In what
way?
5. What do you think you need to do to make things right?

After she answers these questions, you then tell her the
answers to these statements.

1. What you thought when you realized what had happened.
2. What impact this incident has had on you and others. (You can tell her what people have responded on this link.)
3. What has been the hardest thing for you.
4. What you think needs to happen to make things right.

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

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B.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter is 6 1/2 & its starting here...
Good Luck! It happened to a few of my friends way earlier, YUCK!

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