You find people to be how you expect them to be.
When you move to a new community, the people are the same as the people you left. If you thought they were snotty, you will see that in your next neighborhood too.
The key is how you see it and what you do yourself.
I just finished being the PTO preisdent. I am fat. I an not a social snob, that is so funny. My kids look and act funny. The thing I do is expect that everyone will like me and if they don't, I hang around anyway just to disturb them, and be super nice about it, so they look like jerks. The other thing I do is just show up and do some work, when I can, and I say no when I can't. Most people do not realize that that is all there is to it. You see a job, and if you can do it, you do it, and you don't wait for permission from someone to get something done. After once or twice, you are suddenely someone who is "in the loop" "part of the clique" "political". Pigs are flying, folks. The only loop I know of is the one that makes me want to hang myself sometimes! The thought of a clicque makes me laugh until I pee. If there is a fat frumpy peoples, make the copies, get a yearly hair cut, old band geek clicque, OK. What I want to say when I hear that is , Holy $hit? Really? I am in a clique? When do I get to learn the handshake? (I would do it wrong anyway, I am clumsey too!) Political? Ah, I guess. It is really political to take the student directory to the printer, they print political stuff too, so I don't get that.
No doubt that there are people who are mean, self centered, skinny, look nice, wear make up, good hair cut, perfect children, best looking clean house, are of other ethinic and racial backgrounds, yada, yada, yadas...and they are not all the same people, but sure. They don't make copies, and they don't flip pancakes, and their big butt did not fall asleep after sitting for 5 hours painting faces for donations at the winter festival (their small butts would probably rot off after such a time...) heven forbid they should break a nail! Or, maybe they are just afraid of being rejected too? Got news for you, I would hand over my paint brush and get the blood back in my back side really quick, and once I did, I would bring you a cup of coffee.
It is just so loaded to lump people together like that, and what you found is that you find people to be nicer, and less intimidating than you think that they are, if you set out to see them that way to begin with. Maybe, and maybe not, but maybe the group that is on the way out is wondering what clicque they were ever a part of too?
I am glad that you are getting involved, keep doing it, and let everyone know that there are jobs out there for every one, with every time availablity. All you have to do is do something that you can handle.
What you are not seeing, is that no group is "good" enough, until you see it that way. They are all made up of the same people, the one variable that makes a difference, is you.
So, Dorothy, you have had the power within you to find your hearts desire the whole time, but you would not have believed Glinda if she told you to begin with, you had to find out for yourself! Go forth, and enjoy the group you are in. They are good enought already!
M.
